ECW on Sci-Fi TV report
August 4, 2009
Report by Dominick Mayer, PWTorch specialist

Tonight: Christian vs. Dreamer for the ECW Title in an Extreme Rules match.

Title sequence.

And, we're off to the arena for the Abraham Washington Show. Oh boy. He does the heel thing of thanking the crowd for applause that doesn't exist. However, the Titantron is flashing an applause sign. Admittedly, that was funny. He calls out New York for the pop, then rags on Long Island to kill the goodwill. Crowd's giving him pretty good "you suck!" heat. Washington wants Sarah Palin on the show. Who is writing his dialogue?

Zach Ryder comes out to bust this up. I'm thankful. Crowd even pops for him as a reprieve from Washington. Ryder just kicks his feet up on Washington's coffee table. He even gets the crowd to pop for the "Woo Woo Woo" a little bit. Are they turning his character face? I'm confused, but at least he's saving this segment. Washington says he was supposed to have Shelton Benjamin as his guest tonight, and Ryder rips on him a little. They have a little exchange, and Ryder says Shelton can't hold a candle to him. Washington tries to agree, saying Tiffany made him book Shelton. Washington rips on Shelton's music, which prompts Shelton to make his way out. The crowd seems not to know who they're supposed to be cheering for. I can't blame them.

Shelton says he can't speak his mind, because it's a PG show and it'd get them thrown off the air. He starts talking about Smurfs for some reason, and rips on Ryder's outfit. He's talking in Smurf speak. Okay, that's awesome. Washington calls him a Dennis Rodman reject. Tired, but Washington's showing some energy at least. Shelton: "Wannabe Byron Allen, shut the hell up." That's a win. Shelton then says he gave Ryder's girlfriend a "shoutout." Ryder gets in Shelton's face and calls him out.

Washington cuts them off and says if they want to settle differences, they can have...Abraham Idol. Ryder gets to pick a song and sing. Well. I thought a wrestling match was about to happen. Silly me. Ryder says he wants to sing Hootie and the Blowfish. He tries, and then forgets the words. Shelton gets ready to follow the act, and he does a pretty dead-on Darius Rucker impression. Crowd's booing, but I'm kind of amused. Ryder then decks him after he finishes the first verse. He does the "Woo, Woo, Woo" as Shelton's down, but Shelton plays possum before running Ryder straight to the back, throwing him over the interview couch.

Okay, that was actually a surprisingly good segment. Washington's character still just doesn't do it for me, but he finally looks like he's getting the right notes that he needs to hit to make the crowd hate him in the good way. This was confusing because Ryder seemed face by mocking Shelton, given that Shelton is a heel (if the Yoshi Tatsu stuff was any indication), but Shelton came out in a face mode picking on Ryder, who's a heel. This was odd booking, especially since it ended with Shelton looking like the face in this particular exchange. Better segment than it had any business being, though.

Ezekiel Jackson is on his way out, next.

[Commercial Break] A Summerslam promo airs. So, we've already topped Raw tonight as far as promotion goes.

[Q2]

Zeke is on his way out to the ring. The Hell In A Cell PPV is advertised along the bottom of the screen. I don't like this.

1 -- EZEKIEL JACKSON VS. DANNY DANGER

Backbreaker to start off right away. Then, another. Zeke kicks Danny in the ribs. Side note: Is Danny Danger a perfect jobber name or what? Zeke then gets the uranage for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Ezekiel Jackson in not even 1:00. Really quick squash. Post-match was the more important thing.

Post-match: Vladimir Kozlov makes his way down to the ring. He stares Zeke down. He then picks up poor Danny and gives him his uranage variation. Zeke then gives Danger another uranage and walks away without even looking back at Kozlov.

Backstage: Tiffany is talking with the Bella Twins. Then, the same production assistant who almost fell off the ladder a couple weeks ago nearly gets run over by a rolling box, only to have Hurricane save her again. Tiffany comes over to see what's happening, and Paul Burchill addresses the camera, pointing out that this is ridiculous. Yeah, but I've missed Hurricane. It's weird to see him with dreadlocks, though.

[Commercial Break]

Sheamus is out next for action. Goldust is out as his opposition. Say what you will, he still has one of the best entrances in WWE.

2 -- SHEAMUS VS. GOLDUST

This is a re-match from last week. Sheamus starts the match off grinning. Goldust misses with a running elbow in the corner. Goldust goes down, and the ref checks on him. Sheamus comes at him with stomps. Of all things, a "Let's go Goldust" chant ensues. Sheamus applies an armbar, but Goldust counters into an armdrag. Sheamus takes Goldust down for two. Back to the armbar. Striker puts over a few of the Superstar Initiative guys that we haven't seen yet this week. Sheamus takes Goldust down with a hard shoulderblock for a nearfall. Sheamus hooks a variation on a hammerlock, and then tries to pick Goldust up, but Goldust runs him into the corner and rolls him up for a nearfall of his own. Sheamus with a different armbar. Sheamus gets a charge into the corner, but Goldust gets a few strikes back. Goldust with a bulldog to get the crowd going. Hard clotheslines by Goldust, followed by a dropping uppercut. Goldust gets a bodyslam for a close two. He heads for the corner, but Sheamus quickly takes him down for three to end it.

WINNER: Sheamus in 5:00. Match moved slow, but Sheamus looked good. This is the main issue with a show using so much developmental talent: some of the matches look like developmental matches. This one, with all the working of the shoulder, was one of those.

[Q3]

Post-match: Sheamus cuts a brief promo, but Goldust comes at him from behind and flings him into the crowd barrier. Sheamus hightails it to the back, with Goldust shouting for him to come back for more.

[Commercial Break]

Smackdown Rebound: Morrison vs. Hardy. Excellent match. I'm also glad to see a recap of Smackdown rather than last night's show. Punk vs. Hardy for the title this Friday.

Striker and Matthews interview Tommy Dreamer backstage. He's going to win the title back in front of his "Extreme Peeps" tonight. The shot then cuts to Christian elsewhere backstage, holding a car door. That's fantastic. The match is next.

[Commercial Break]

[Q4]

Tommy Dreamer is out first for the Extreme Rules championship match. With a hot dog cart. I know people looked down on the silly Hardcore Title matches from the Attitude Era, but I was always a sucker for those, and that sight makes me extremely happy thusly. Grisham quickly plugs the Summerslam cups at 7-11. Striker: "I've been drinking Slurpees out of Edge all week." Christian is out next with the car door and the ECW Title.

3 -- ECW CHAMPION CHRISTIAN VS. TOMMY DREAMER - EXTREME RULES MATCH FOR THE ECW CHAMPIONSHIP

Ring intros take place for both men. Dreamer takes Christian down at the start with a shoulderblock. Christian takes Dreamer down and works his arm. Crowd is having none of this, wanting tables. I agree with them: Dreamer wheeling down a hot dog cart portends insanity, not a ring exchange. This statement bought to you by the fan in me. Dreamer grabs a kendo stick, but Christian has a trash can lid. Dreamer cracks the lid twice, but Christian ducks out and rolls outside. Dreamer gives him a shot in the ribs followed by another across the back. Christian gets thrown back into the ring, and Dreamer brings a trashcan back in with him, but before he can get in Christian baseball slides the can into Dreamer's face. Christian springs off the corner to the outside and takes Dreamer down. Christian picks the trashcan up and just throws it at Dreamer. He then breaks a crutch over Dreamer's back.

Christian uses the crutch to give Dreamer a White Russian legsweep into the ringside barrier. Christian charges Dreamer, but Dreamer drop toe holds him into the hot dog car, which tips over on impact. Dreamer grabs one of the steel condiment holders and hits Christian in the face with it. Dreamer eats a hot dog bun and then smothers Christian with it. He slams Christian's face into the hot dog cart and then rolls him back into the ring. Commercial time.

[Commercial Break] On Superstars Thursday: Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox.

Out of break, Christian is tripping backwards over a trashcan into the corner. Dreamer follows up by swinging it into his head. Dreamer with a two count. Dreamer tries to bulldog Christian into a lid on the mat, but Christian just whips him, picks up the lid and cracks him with it. Christian goes for a cover and gets two. Christian kicks the lid into Dreamer's back, but again only gets two. Christian hits Dreamer across the back with a kendo stick and sends him outside. Dreamer tries to whip Christian into the ring steps, but Christian counters, only to get back body dropped onto the ringside mat. That was cool. Dreamer tries to hit Christian with a trashcan, but Christian jumps off the barrier and dropkicks it into Dreamer's chest.

Back in the ring, Christian wedges a trashcan between the second and third ropes, facing into the ring. Christian gets whipped straight into the can, in the sense of him being trapped in it, and rolls outside. Dreamer pushes him back in and uses the kendo stick to get a pumphandle slam. Dreamer with a close two count. Christian drops Dreamer backwards across the top rope and goes up top with a very dented trashcan.

[Q5 - overrun]

Christian cuts Dreamer's attempt to knock him down off with a hard trashcan shot. Christian steps down and gets a near two. Christian tries for a tornado DDT, but Dreamer forces him down onto the trashcan. Christian kicks out just before three. Christian gets put up in the tree of woe with the aid of a lid. Dreamer sets the trashcan up right in Christian's face and picks up a crutch, which he swings into the trashcan. Hard. Christian slumps down to the mat. Dreamer wants the DDT for the finish, but Christian forces him onto the trashcan and breaks another crutch over him. Christian places the car door into the ring. Curious to see where this goes. He charges at Dreamer with the car door, but Dreamer hits him in the head with another trashcan lid. Dreamer picks Christian up to give him a piledriver onto the car door, but Christian spins out and hits the Killswitch onto the door for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Christian in 16:00 to retain the ECW Championship. Really good as a PG-friendly garbage brawl. Knowing the piledriver has been illegal in WWE for years took away from the finish a little bit, but overall both men looked very good. It'll be interesting to see where Christian goes from here as far as challengers are concerned.

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