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PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 8/14: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including C.M. Punk vs. John Morrison

Aug 14, 2009 - 9:00:25 PM
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by Greg Parks, PWTorch.com Contributor

WWE Smackdown review
August 14, 2009
Taped 8/11/09 in Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Aired on MyNetwork TV



-WWE Open.

-Smackdown Open.

-Jim Ross welcomed fans to the show and the camera panned the crowd. JR plugged John Morrison vs. C.M. Punk in tonight’s main event. In another contest, JTG faces Big Show in a singles contest.

-Todd Grisham sent it to a video package of what happened last Friday, including snippets of Punk’s interview and the main event.

-Tony Chimel, handling ring announcing duties for Smackdown this week, introduced C.M. Punk, who sported a new t-shirt. Grisham said it would be doubtful that Jeff Hardy would join them tonight. Punk handled the mic and said Teddy Long said a TLC match was Jeff Hardy’s specialty. He said Long would be wrong again, as he’s the king of the ladder match. He also said he can do damage with a chair too, evidenced by what happened last week. He said he competed in two back-to-back MITB Ladder Matches and Wrestlemania, and came away victorious both times. Crowd didn’t like that reminder. Punk sang a different tune, saying he’d be wasting his breath to try to convince the crowd to stick with virtues and the like, because they’re hypnotized by Jeff Hardy. To make fans see the light, Punk said, he now knows what he has to do. All he has to do....is end Jeff Hardy. He said straight up, one-on-one, is how to settle things, rather than have a family member as an outside enforcer. Punk said Jeff is already well on his way to screwing this one up, as he said he heard Hardy won’t be able to make it to Summerslam. Then Teddy Long interrupted, much to the chagrin of Punk.

Long came to the ring and told Punk that what he did last week was deplorable. He said he could’ve ended Hardy’s career last week, and Punk feigned concern. Teddy said Jeff will be here tonight. But, he said, Jeff is in no condition to compete. However, Hardy assured him he’d be ready to face Punk at Summerslam. Long said Punk would go one-on-one with a man he’s yet to defeat on Smackdown, John Morrison. Punk said he was sick of Long and characterized him as a Jeff Hardy suck-up, like all the fans. He said he’d beat Morrison and then beat Long’s poster boy, Hardy, at Summerslam. That brought out the charismatic enigma himself.

Jeff walked out, quite gingerly, with the World Title. Jeff looks like he went to the same tanning place as his brother, and like Matt, it did not look good. Hardy yelled through his teeth at Punk, assuring C.M. that not only was he here tonight, but he’d be able to defend his title at Summerslam. And that was it from Jeff. Hardy held the side of his head as he left the ring.

-JR and Grisham talked on camera about Kane attacking Ranjin Singh last week, and they showed clips of that as well. JR said he heard that Kane brought Singh to the arena tonight, and are likely somewhere in the bowels of the building. That’s a disturbing thought.

[Commercial Break]

-Teddy Long was backstage reviewing some paperwork when his phone rang (a ringtone that matches his theme music). It was Mr. McMahon on the other line.....apparently, Vince wanted Jeff Hardy in action tonight, regardless of his injuries. Long acknowledged that he was still on probation, and made the match of Jeff vs. The Hart Dynasty in a two-on-one handicap match.

1- FINLAY vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER

Grisham said Rey Mysterio was not in the building, as he was out on a promotional tour. Elbow right to the chin of Ziggler from Finlay. Hard European uppercut as well. Ziggler slammed Finlay’s coconut into the turnbuckle, and Finlay rolled out of the ring. He caught Ziggler in the ring skirt and pounded away with forearms. Ziggler headbutted Finlay in the gut as both men stood on the apron, then Ziggler kicked the seated Finlay right in the head. Mike Knox began to slowly walk to the ring as Ziggler put Finlay back in the ring. He continued the offense as the show went to break.

[Commercial Break]

Ziggler still had Finlay on the mat out of break. JR once again went on and on about Ziggler’s background at Kent State. Ziggler took the fight to Finlay in the corner, but all of a sudden, Finlay speared Ziggler and landed some right hands. A neckbreaker by Ziggler ended that short burst from the Irishman. Finlay got a boot up as Ziggler came off the second rope. Forward Samoan roll by Finlay for two. Cannonball from Finlay found the mark. Finlay, from the apron, pulled Ziggler over the top rope and to the outside, right in front of Knox. Finlay clotheslined him off the apron. Knox made a run at Finlay, but Finlay nailed him from the apron and hit Ziggler, who was in the ring, as well. Then Knox landed a shillaleigh shot on Finlay as the ref was occupied with Ziggler, allowing Ziggler to hit his finisher for the win.

WINNER: Ziggler, at 10:50. The Irishmen in WWE are 0-2 this week. Finlay showed a little more fire here than we’re used to.

Knox beat up on Finlay even more after the match, including sidewalk slamming him on the steel steps. Knox got the mic and told Finlay there are 206 bones in the human body. He said even the simplest trauma to the vertebrate can leave someone in excruciating pain. Uh....OK.

-JR plugged Punk vs. Morrison in the main event.

-Also, in a 2-on-1 handicap match, Jeff Hardy takes on the Hart Dynasty.

-Somewhere in the building, Ranjin Singh was tied up in a chair. He begged Kane to let him go, but Kane insisted he say what he wants him to say. Kane was operating the camera and told Singh to say it. Singh said, “My name is Ranjin Singh, and I’ve been punished because of my association with the Great Khali. I am being treated fairly and I’ve been well taken care of.” He started speaking another language, and Kane slapped him. Kane turned the camera on himself and said he wants to hear from Khali. He said he wants to see him, come and look at his handiwork.

[Commercial Break]

-An R-Truth hype video aired.

-Maria and Melina were chatting backstage again. Melina asked what she was doing for Summerslam weekend, and Maria told her the plans she had with Ziggler that weekend. Layla walked in and said Ziggler can do better and once he realizes that, he’ll leave her. She said she was here to deliver a message for Melina: Michelle McCool is coming back next week. She was gone? Melina said she’d give Layla her message to give to McCool in the ring.

-John Morrison came out for his match against C.M. Punk. When did main events stop being the last match on the card? Because this match is next.

[Commercial Break]

2- JOHN MORRISON vs. C.M. PUNK

The two did some chain wrestling early on. Morrison tripped Punk up when the former champ went off the ropes. Springboard moonsault for two by Morrison. Flying Chuck kick early in the match got him another two. Punk tried to roll out of the ring and finally did, but not after Morrison tried to stop him. Morrison came out to the apron, where Punk kicked his legs out from under him. Then he kicked Morrison right in the throat or chest area. Morrison hung face-down over the apron and Punk came off the top with a knee to the back of his head. Nicely done, and a nice cliffhanger as they went to commercial.

[Commercial Break]

Punk had Morrison in a headscissors, then they showed the replay of the move that sent the show into break. Morrison fired back with a crossbody off the second rope for two. He was put back down with a clothesline. Punk had Morrison on the mat with a rear chinlock. Morrison flipped out of a suplex and landed a Russian leg sweep. The two exchanged kicks, and Morrison got the better of it. Standing shooting-star press by Morrison (called a standing moonsault by the announcers) got two. He went to the top with a high crossbody for two. Punk retained control and proclaimed it “nap time!” He got Morrison up, but Punk rammed his head into the buckle instead. Running knee in the corner, then a bulldog out of it by Punk. A sloppy tilt-a-whirl DDT by Morrison, but it ended up looking OK. He got a near-fall out of it. Starship Pain attempt, but Morrison landed on his feet when Punk moved. Oklahoma roll got two, then Morrison struck Punk with the knee. He went for Pain again, but Punk got right up and pushed him onto the top rope, crotch-first. Punk kneed Morrison in the gut in the corner several times as Morrison hung in the tree of woe. Punk picked him up from that position for the GTS, and that did it. Punk elbowed Morrison in the face during the pin, in a nice touch.

WINNER: Punk, at 13:37. Another solid match between these two. They have real good chemistry in the ring and despite wrestling three times, it doesn’t feel stale at all.

-Jeff Hardy is in action against both David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd tonight.

[Commercial Break]

-Melina made her way out for her match with Layla. JR said Michelle McCool would be back on Smackdown next week. During Layla’s entrance, they cut to Singh and Kane backstage again. Kane kicked over the chair Singh was sitting in and he asked why Khali is such a freak. Singh said he’s not a freak and that Khali is his brother. Kane asked Singh if he’s jealous and asked why Khali hasn’t saved him yet. Kane said he better make it quick, because he’s running out of patience.

[Commercial Break]

3- MELINA vs. LAYLA

The match started right after the break. Layla slapped Melina, then tried to run, but Melina corralled her on the outside. Layla clotheslined her anyway. Layla turned an arm-drag into a cover of sorts in a rather unique move. Melina was hung on the top rope with her leg, and Layla reached down and pulled her hair the other way. Layla stretched Melina out even more, as she put Melina’s foot on her shoulder and really worked her over. Layla choked Melina on the bottom rope. The crowd chanted something I couldn’t make out. “Let’s go....” somebody. Melina came back with a pair of clothelslines. Kick to the gut by Melina, then a sunset flip, but Layla flipped out and got her with a low dropkick. Flapjack for two by Melina. Melina caught Layla in her finisher (the split-legged legdrop one) and picked up the win.

WINNER: Melina, at 3:35. A bit more competitive than I expected. Layla didn’t do too badly here, but I wouldn’t say it was a “good” match either.

-Later tonight, Grisham promised we’d see how DX was reunited this past Monday on Raw.

-Cryme Tyme came out and did their schtick. Shad said JTG has made skills and JTG bragged up his win over Chris “Christina” Jericho last week. Shad said, on the real, that Cryme Tyme is coming up mad strong. He said Jericho and Big Show’s title histories don’t matter, because they’re leaving Summerslam tag champs. JTG will do battle with Big Show next.

[Commercial Break]

4- JTG vs. THE BIG SHOW

Chris Jericho joined the commentary team, so I’ll at least be entertained during this Big Show match. Show worked the left arm of JTG, really trying to knot up the shoulder. Jericho explained that the last place team got a win over the first place team last week in JTG beating him. Jericho also said he had a sore throat last week. Show had JTG face-down on the mat while stretching the shoulder. The crowd was more interested in chanting at Jericho than paying attention to the match. Show whipped JTG into the corner, but he missed a splash. JTG ran right into Show’s hand and Big Show sent him over the top rope in front of the commentary table. Jericho got up as if he was going to get involved, but Shad shooed him away. Once Show got JTG and put him back in the ring, Jericho pushed Shad head-first into the ringpost. JTG started to come back with right hands, but Show threw him down again and locked him in his submission hold. JTG didn’t last long in it. “See you at Summerslam Cryme Tyme” Jericho said as the match ended and he left the broadcast table.

WINNER: Show, at 3:27.

Shad came back after the match and sent Show over the top rope as the big man was walking over it to exit the ring. He was really fired up.

-Back to Kane’s dungeon, where Singh was hanging upside down from the ceiling. Khali finally walked in and took him down. Then Kane attacked with a steel pipe, assaulting Khali with it several times. They had a cage backstage that Kane rammed Khali into several times. Do I smell a steel cage match in the future? Kane yelled at Khali, saying he’s never been afraid of him, but Khali should be afraid of Kane. Then Kane walked out the door.

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham and JR talked on camera about where DX stacks up in the realm of tag teams throughout history. Then we got what amounted to a Raw Rebound, starting with Triple H’s post-match interview two weeks ago, also showing him looking for HBK this past week.

-The announcers talked about the matches on the Summerslam card.

-Jeff Hardy came out for his match against the Hart Dynasty. JR made note that there is something clearly wrong with Hardy in his gait down to the ring. The two-on-one match is next.

[Commercial Break]

5- JEFF HARDY vs. THE HART DYNASTY- HANDICAP MATCH

Hardy was bent down near the ropes, in obvious pain, as he waited for the Hart Dynasty to come to the ring. Hardy started off quickly, but his corner dropkick took too much out of him and Kidd tagged in Smith. Neckbreaker by D.H. for two. Double-team by the Hart Dynasty and they got a two-count. The duo worked over the neck of Hardy. Rear chinlock by Smith on Hardy. Hardy went to the top, perhaps for Whisper in the Wind, but Smith tripped him up and crotched him. Grisham said he was only going at half speed due to the injury, allowing Hart to catch him off guard. Rocket Launcher by Smith did not find the mark, as Hardy rolled away from Kidd’s splash. Kidd made the tag though, but Hardy fought back against Smith. Smith missed a charge and Jeff hit a face-first suplex. Hardy took off his shirt and wanted to go to the top, taking Kidd out while he was on the apron. That pause allowed Smith to bring him back in, where he gave the champ the big boot. They set up for the Hart Attack, but Kidd added a springboard with it, and Kidd pinned Hardy.

WINNERS: Hart Dynasty, at 5:03. Sure, it was two-on-one, but it was a good win nevertheless for the youngsters.

C.M. Punk came out and beat up Jeff Hardy some more, until John Morrison came out and fought him off. The Harts got involved with Morrison, but Punk came back with a chair to the back of Morrison. Punk locked Hardy’s neck in with the chair once again, but Matt Hardy came out and attacked Punk before he could send Jeff into the ring post. Morrison fought off the Harts while Matt pounded away on Punk. Eventually, Matt cleared the ring and stood tall. Matt looked at Jeff, who was sitting down in the corner. Matt wanted to help him up, which gave Jeff pause. Matt lifted Jeff to his feet and the two had what appeared to be calm words, and they played Jeff’s music. OK, can we get an explanation please? I don’t care if he helped me up, if I was Jeff, after what Matt did, I’d hold a grudge.

-Teddy Long was watching backstage when Vince walked up to him. The camera angle gave away the fake office, which looked a bit absurd. Vince asked what Teddy had for next week. It’s going to be the Hart Dynasty and C.M. Punk against Morrison and the Hardys. Vince thought for a second, and told Long he was still on probation, then walked away.

-All six men (and Natalya) stared each other down, faces in the ring, heels on the ramp, as the show ended.

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also read his all-new blog in the VIP forum. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.


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