TV REPORTS KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 9/24: First show with Ferrara back opens with prelim wrestlers in no DQ street fight, ends with Foley's turn on Abyss
Sep 30, 2009 - 4:02:13 PM
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By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor
SEPT. 24, 2009 - ORLANDO, FLA.
[Q1 - 0.97 rating] -The show opened with clips from No Surrender of winners celebrating after their matches closing with the cool scene of fans holding A.J. Styles in the air in the ring after his title win.
-The title of the show is "The One About the Broken Picture."
-Eric Young stepped out of the limo followed by the rest of the World Elite. Sheik Abdul Bashir had to yell at Kaz for being pokey. Hernandez then jumped Kaz and Bashir. Because they lagged behind, it gave Hernandez a chance to escape before the rest of World Elite could return to the scene.
-The TNA Impact opening aired. Then Mike Tenay introduced the show and threw to the ring.
-Kurt Angle stood center-ring with the Main Event Mafia. He said they maintained their dominance by retaining most of the gold. He said the only thing missing is his World Hvt. Title. He then asserted that he did not lose his TNA World Title. He repeated that statement for emphasis. Kevin Nash nodded along in the background. Angle said Matt Morgan cost him his title, so he's facing Morgan one-on-one at Bound for Glory. It's great to see TNA announcing one-on-one PPV matches that are stip-free where the anticipation is built around the wrestlers themselves and their personality conflict and pride being the motivations involved. The World Elite walked out to their music, interrupting Angle.
Young got in Angle's face and said he doesn't think the MEM are a dominant force anymore. He said Hernandez was going to toss him off the ramp, and he said he can't help but wonder what would have happened to his "delicate neck" if he hadn't come out and "saved your life." He said at No Surrender he bailed him out, so tonight he's going to return the favor. Angle asked what he wanted. Young said TNA booked him against Hernandez in a singles match. He said he attacked an unarmed man with his hands behind his back last week. He said doctors told him to take six weeks off, but he's not a normal man. He said he told him he'd take his best shot, and he did, and he's still standing there. He proposed that they work together to take Hernandez out.
Booker T grabbed the mic and said, "This is TNA and Mafia rules TNA, ya' dig?" He told Young, "You just live here." He said he's never liked his punk ass or any of his faction members. He called them a Romper Room gang. Young said he's not concerned with what he thinks about him or his men. "In fact, I could care less," he said, getting the phrase wrong. (He meant, "I couldn't care less.") Booker snapped and told Young that the Mafia rules TNA and they're just visiting. He told him to pack up and get his ass out of there. The crowd wasn't sure what to think as both are cast as heels, both are feuding on their own with other babyfaces (Hernandez, Matt Morgan, A.J. Styles), so it's tough to get behind cheering either faction at this point when later in the show they're being asked to root against them. Angle, though, tried to be a cooler head and told Young he'd team with him later. He tried to calm Booker down and said they should do things the right way. Young and Angle shook hands.
-They showed Tenay and Taz at ringside. They hyped the rest of the show's scheduled matches including Booker T & Scott Steiner defending against Abyss & Mick Foley. Foley teams with Abyss for the first time and they get a tag title shot, and we have all of an hour's notice? On multiple levels this is just ADD booking without that "set-up - hype - anticipation - payoff" progression that makes a match a real attraction. [c]
[Q2 - 1.00 rating] 1 -- SUICIDE vs. "THE POPE" D'ANGELO DINERO - Street Fight No DQ
Suicide's ring entrance began. The Pope attacked him on the stage from behind. Let's see if this street fight is hilarious to Taz as their PPV match was. They made their way into the ring that was full of apparatus including a cane, garbage can, chair, and even a tambourine. The crowd chanted "That was awesome!" devaluing that chant to a new all-time low. Isn't this the kind of garbage match that should be reserved for the peak of a feud or two wrestlers lacking athletic ability? This type of match was turned into a joke by WWE during the Crash Holly days and it's a step back for both wrestlers to be put in this type of match. It doesn't help when the announcers are chuckling their way through it, including a "Yahtzee" joke. Suicide springboarded toward Dinero, but Dinero caught him with a mid-air tackle leading to a near fall. Suicide then hit a Suicide Solution onto a trash can for the win.
WINNER: Suicide in 6:00.
STAR RATING: * -- Ten years stale comedy garbage match with zero build up that wasted the talent in the ring... and for what?
-Lauren interviewed Team 3D backstage. She told Devon they saw the end of a decade-long friendship between he and Rhino. She asked what happened to him. Devon said he doesn't care what happened to him. Brother Ray seemed dismayed with Devon's attitude, pacing in the background. Devon vowed to knock Rhino out. [c]
-Lauren interviewed Nash on a couch backstage. She scolded him for using a low blow to retain his title. Nash admitted it might have been a tainted victory, but he said he's 50,000 dollars richer. He said they could take a trip to Ireland together. Lauren said she does like Ireland. Nash said he's not sure about her fascination with the freaky Abyss. Lauren said he's not a freak. Nash said he likes freaks, and he can get freaky. He gave her a glass of wine. She tried to resist his charms, and she said they need to be professionals, but she also sipped the wine and smiled at his flirtations. A couple of dwarf women dressed for a night on the town walked up to him. He made a suggestive comment about "how big it'll look in their hands." Lauren was offended, but Nash told her to get her mind out of the gutter since he was referring to the wine glass. He said the Big Sexy Tour continues.
2 -- BROTHER DEVON vs. RHINO
They brawled in the aisle and in the ring and then at ringside in the opening minute. Devon bled from the forehead. Taz said Rhino doesn't remember that he made mistakes when Team 3D showed him the ropes because he was intolerant of Jesse Neal's mistakes. The ref counted both men out. Rhino bled, too. Security ran out and separated them.
WINNER: Double Countout in 2:00.
[Q3 - 0.97]
-Rhino and Devon had a pullapart brawl. Brother Ray ran out and tried to play peacemaker. "This is how you settle stuff?" he asked. Ray told them to shake hands. they did. Ray then raised both of their arms. Rhino, though, then surprised Ray with a Gore and bailed out of the ring. Tenay said a decade long friendship has turned vicious and violent.
-Lauren interviewed Hernandez backstage. She asked him about his match later against Young & Angle. She asked who his partner would be. he said he lived up to his word that he was ready for a fight at No Surrender. Matt Morgan walked in and offered his services. He said he wants Angle as had as he wants Eric, so they should work together. Hernandez shook his hand and agreed. Morgan said Angle can get revenge on him at Bound for Glory. [c]
(Lots of Kimbo Slice vs. Ray Nelson commercials for the next episode of "The Ultimate Fighter.")
-Backstage Jeremy Borash told Mick Foley to "snap out of it." Foley poured out the contents of a box that included broken glass, a broken frame, and a ripped up caricature. Foley was distraught. Borash said there might be a silver lining. He said the value of their trading card version of that caricature has since gone way up. Foley told Borash to find the guy who's selling it for $300. Foley said if he finds that guy, they'll have their "perp." Foley agreed, but then asked what a perp is. Borash said "perpetrator." So Foley had a tag team title match coming up (Foley in any match should be a big deal) and he's doing comedy bits about a trading card instead of talking about teaming with Abyss? It's just a head-shaking approach to booking, and to see Foley part of it is all the more surprising as he should have veto power of the timing of this type of thing.
-A vignette aired on A.J. Styles, talking about him as the centerpiece of the company. They showed him heading toward the entrance tunnel. If he was going to do an interview as new champion, that should have been more heavily hyped throughout the first 40 minutes. He won the World Title on Sunday and they've barely addressed it 40 minutes into the show. If you were to assign 100 points of emphasis throughout two hours, often you'd give your top four feuds 80 of those points, and then everything else gets the other 20. When a World Title changes, though, it alone should get 50-75 point of emphasis because World Title matches are ultimately what sells PPVs, and making title changes on PPVs seems mega-important and can't-miss involves not just hype beforehand, but also follow-up, especially after title changes. There's still time to make it seem more important than a ripped up caricature, Eric Young and Kurt Angle arguing, and Kevin Nash's freaky sex life, but the clock is ticking. [c]
[Q4 - 0.94] -A.J. Styles came out to a full ring intro. The crowd chanted, "You deserve it." Styles soaked up the chant. He then said he was going to dedicate the title to each of the fans. He said he also wants to share the moment with Sting. Sting walked out in street clothes and sunglasses. Sting said he appreciates the invite, but he shouldn't be sharing the spotlight with anyone. He then presented Styles to the fans and left. Styles told Sting that he knows what he did for him. Sting shook his head and played dumb. The 98 percent of viewers have no idea, either. Styles said Sting had a choice to pin Angle or take out Morgan and he chose to take out Morgan, which allowed him to score the pin and become champion. That caused Sting to reverse course and re-enter the ring.
Sting said, "Let me make this clear. I gave you nothing at No Surrender." He patronized him, telling him he earned the title, end of story. Styles said it was him who did something that nobody does in the business - he rose about the selfishness and handed him the World Title. "You passed A.J. Styles the torch," said Styles, referring to himself in the third person. He said he wanted to do something for him. He offered him the first title shot at Bound for Glory in California in front of his friends and family. Sting said he'd take him up on it. Styles said to be the best, he has to beat the best. He said Sting is an icon and they should give the fans something they'll never forget. Styles's music played. Taz asked Tenay for his opinion. Tenay said he loves it. Taz said it might have been a mistake by Styles. [c]
3 -- SARITA & TAYLOR WILDE vs. TARA & ODB -- TNA Knockouts Tag Team Title match
Sarita & Taylor Wilde showed off their newly won tag team titles in center-ring. Tara then walked out with her spider friend. ODB followed, carrying her TNA Knockouts Title belt. About two minutes of the match aired before they entered hour two.
[Q5 - 1.02]
Tenay brought up that ODB has joined forces as a champion with one of her top challengers in Tara. Awesome Kong strode to the ring at 3:00. She got into it with Tara and they brawled to the back. ODB was on offense and managed to score a near fall. Sarita and Wilde double-teamed ODB a minute later with a dropkick into a back suplex and scored the pin.
WINNERS: Sarita & Taylor Wilde in 5:00 to retain the TNA Tag Team Titles.
STAR RATING: *1/4
-Afterward Tara came back to help ODB. ODB was upset with Tara leaving her. Tara tried to explain herself. [c]
-Black Machismo and Consequences Creed were sitting backstage with Foley and Borash in a dark room. Borash accused them of trying to make a buck off of their trading card. Foley said, "Mr. Lethal, I assume you're legal name is Lethal." He asked him where he was on the night of Sept. 17. Creed and Lethal said it's ridiculous and they have no idea what they're talking about. Creed said they have better things to do than deal with this crap. Borash blew cigarette smoke in Lethal's face. Lethal said he's "freaking him out." Borash then told Foley he thinks it was the Machine Guns. Foley said they're always up to no good, so he gold Borash to round them up.
4 -- SAMOA JOE vs. DANIELS vs. HERNANDEZ -- X Division Title match
Joe went for an early Muscle Buster on Daniels. Daniels escaped. Homicide at ringside tripped Daniels coming off the ropes. Tenay said Daniels and Homicide should work together to take out Joe. Taz said Homicide is in business for himself. Joe stomped on Daniels mid-ring at 2:00. Homicide joined in and they double-teamed Daniels, contradicting Taz's analysis of Homicide's personality seconds earlier.
[Q6 -- 1.07] Daniels made a comeback and scored a near fall on Joe. Joe rolled out of the ring for a breather. Daniels followed. Joe chopped him. Homicide flip dove through the ropes at Joe, but Joe ducked. Homicide grabbed a chair and broke it over the security railing and the back of the chair flew off (luckily it didn't fly into the crowd and hit someone in the face). All three returned to the ring. Joe hit a Muscle Buster on Daniels, but Homicide broke up the count by stopping the ref's third count. Joe didn't like that. Homicide pie-faced Joe and then gave him a hangman neckbreaker. Homicide trash-talked a fallen Joe, bragged up the World Elite, and then turned to the hard camera to celebrate. Joe gave Homicide a nasty half-nelson back suplex and then put Daniels in the rear naked joke. Homicide tapped out frantically, so Joe retained the X Title.
WINNER: Joe in 6:00 to retain the X Division Title.
STAR RATING: ** -- Good while it lasted, but just six minutes? This is the type of match TNA uses to try to sell PPVs, and when they train viewers to believe it's just six minutes of entertainment, it's hard to get them to part with their money for it - especially when TNA might offer a better version of the same match on Impact four days later. The goal of this show is not to sell PPVs, but they also give away way too much to get the ratings they do when one-third of the quantity of big match-ups, five times the build-up, way more time for viewers to anticipate the scheduled matches, and then letting the matches go 10-15 minutes would lead to everything meaning more while giving away way less while also not undercutting PPV sales efforts as much. It's not a tough formula to grasp or execute, either. [c]
5 -- MATT MORGAN & HERNANDEZ vs. KURT ANGLE & ERIC YOUNG
Bashir joined Tenay and Taz on commentary. Kaz stood behind Bashir. Hernandez displayed his power early against both Angle and Young. The crowd chanted, "We Want Morgan!" and they popped when he tagged in at 2:00, hit the Carbon Footprint on Young, and scored a sudden pin. It appeared Angle yanked Young into the path of Morgan's foot. Bashir was good on commentary.
WINNERS: Morgan & Hernandez in 2:00.
-Afterward Bashir got in Angle's face at ringside. Angle kicked Bashir and punched Kaz. Bashir clutched his knee. The British Invasion walked down the ramp to confront Angle. Booker T and Scott Steiner walked up behind the Brits, who then decided to let Angle walk by. The tension between the MEM and World Elite isn't a bad thing as long it doesn't overshadow the current money face vs. heel feuds they're building for the PPV, and on this show, it is tending to get in the way.
[Q7 - 1.08] [c] -They went back to Borash smoking a cigarette and Foley in a dark room interrogating the Motor City Machine Guns. Chris Sabin provided an alibi. Foley said they may not have destroyed the caricature, but they are guilty of having the worst ring entrance music in the history of the industry. Sabin told Foley if he wants to know who the perp was, check the videotape. Shelley pointed to the surveillance camera that Foley had Kip James install.
-They went to ringside with Tenay and Taz commenting on the previous segment. Tenay said Traci Brooks is "blowing up the Internet" with her Playboy photo spread. They hyped that Traci would face Christy Hemme next week in a battle between Playboy Playmates.
-Lauren began to interview Hamada when Alicia interrupted. She complained about paying attention to Knockouts who come from other countries. The best part was when she called Lauren, "Dude." She said her nickname should be changed to "Welcome Mat." Hamada grabbed the mic and challenged her to a match. Alicia appeared to be walking away, but then she jumped Hamada. Good basic angle to build meaning to a future match between those two. Hamada took a nasty rolling bump down the bleachers where they filmed the segment. It gave a different perspective to the Impact Zone, and with the worn paint on the benches it looked more like the Dallas Sportatorium. [c]
-Don West hyped upcoming TNA live events. Good to see West's face back on the show.
-Daffney was sitting on Nash's lap backstage. Nash asked if she was free to do whatever she wants. Daffney said she is. She slinked down into blowjob position, but then elbowed Nash. Dr. Stevie then entered the room and zapped Nash with something that smoked and sizzled his nuts. Stevie choked Nash as Daffney said, "Maybe next time, Big Sexy."
[Q8 - 1.10] 6 -- BOBBY LASHLEY vs. "OUTLAW" JETHRO HOLLIDAY
All things considered, I'd rather have Holliday on my roster than Lashley. Lashley dominated Holliday from the start. Holliday caught Lashley with a big boot, but Lashley shook it off and hit a full nelson slam followed by an inverted choke submission.
WINNER: Lashley in 2:00.
-They showed Foley walking out of the production truck with a videotape. He said, "Mystery solved and it all makes perfect sense." [c]
-Lauren interviewed the perpetually nervous wreck Abyss. She brought up how he and Foley will be competing for the TNA Tag Team Titles "in just a few minutes" (there were just eight minutes left in the show). Abyss said he thinks everything is okay between he and Foley. He said it's his dream to win the tag team gold with Foley and it'd be the best day of his life. He got excited, clapped like Eugene, and kissed Lauren on the side of her head. [c]
7 -- SCOTT STEINER & BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. ABYSS & MICK FOLEY
Foley clapped like Abyss as he walked onto the stage. He then put his arm around Abyss's shoulder as they began to walk down the ramp. Foley told them to keep an eye on the videotape as he wrestled the match. This match began 55 minutes into the second hour. Tenay was handed a note saying that next week Nash will face Stevie, plus an X Division ladder match with the winner becoming a no. 1 contender. Steiner took control at 2:00, dropping an elbow on Abyss. Abyss took out Booker and Steiner with a double clothesline, then tagged in Foley. Foley gave Abyss a DDT, leaving him easy prey for a Booker scissors kick for the win.
WINNER: Booker & Steiner in 3:00 to retain the TNA Tag Team Titles.
-Afterward, Foley grabbed the videotape and the mic. He asked Abyss if he was surprised. "Imagine my surprise, Chris," Foley said. "It was you all along." He hit Abyss with the videotape, then punched him. He said he broke into his office and took his bat and cost him the Legends Title and destroyed his most prized possession. Borash walked to ringside and told Foley not to do that. A bloody Abyss tried to get to his feet. Foley grabbed the barbed wire baseball bat and returned to the ring where he swung the bat at Abyss's stomach and then bashed him across the back and then the head. He followed by diving bat-first onto his face. The blood flowed from Abyss's forehead like a faucet. "The dark side of Mick Foley has come out," said Taz. The scene of the blood was really excessive and shouldn't have been featured as long or as close up as it was. Abyss cried, "Why?! Why?!" as the show ended.
So, did Foley know he was going to turn on Abyss all along? Not according to the storyline, as he didn't discover the footage until right before the match. So that means Foley spent two hours caring more about the torn caricature of he and Borash than preparing for a tag title match. What does that say about the value of the tag titles to someone of Foley's stature? This was another case of TNA's booking wanting to end up at a certain place, and then working backwards to create a scenario that would get them there, but ending up with a really weak voyage that included underhyping the main event and diminishing the value of the tag titles by having Foley ridiculously obsess about a portrait in a bunch of comedy skits that made him look like an idiot, not a legend or mega-star.
Taz to Mike Tenay: "Why don't you hit me in the head with that trash can and maybe wake me up."
Devon to Rhino: "The only difference now is you don't gotta worry about me going down."
Kevin Nash to Lauren: "Have you ever been with a real man? I'm not talking about a freak."
Kevin Nash when a dwarf woman walked up to him: "Can you imagine how gigantic it's going to look in those hands."
Mike Tenay in response: "I'll tell you one thing. Kevin Nash doesn't discriminate."
Taz: "A lot of titles changed hands at No Surrender. It was pretty cool."
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