By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT - HOUR TWO
DECEMBER 14, 2009
LIVE FROM CORPUS CHRISTY, TEX.
AIRED ON USA NETWORK

[Q5]

-C.M. Punk told the fans he doesn't care if they don't want to hear his message. He called Hardy the "charismatic enabler" and said his proudest achievement of 2009 was ridding WWE of him. He said up next is becoming 2009 Superstar of the Year. His thick beard works. He gave a ringside helper the stern speech Razor Ramon used to as he handed over his trophy to him. WWE should have put a graphic on the screen during Punk's promo that said Cena vs. Punk was up next. Some viewers might not believe Cena wrestles at the start of the usual beginning time for Raw and, once they saw Punk, might have flipped to something else (football?) assuming Punk was going to preach for ten minutes.

3 -- JOHN CENA vs. C.M. PUNK -- Superstar of the Year Tournament Match

Striker asked Lawler about how he reacted to losing a major title. Lawler said you have to have a short memory. Punk got in some early offense. Near 2:00 Punk went for a Go To Sleep, but Cena escaped and applied an STF. Punk nearly reached the bottom rope, but Cena reapplied it mid-ring and got a quick tapout.

WINNER: Cena in 2:00. That's just too short given what they invested in Punk, but Punk is one of those heels who's good enough on the mic, he'll be asked to do quick jobs like that with the assumption that he can get his heat back on the mic whenever needed.

-Afterward Cena congratulated Sheamus and then apologized to fans whom he might have let down. He said it's hard to understand, but sometimes you can try so hard at something and be so prepared and still fail. He said every time you fail, it's painful and causes sadness and disappointment, as he saw last night. He said a man's character is not judged after he celebrates a victory, but what he does when his back is against a wall. He said no matter how great the setback or severe the failure, you never give up. He said you pick yourself up, brush yourself, adapt, and overcome. "That is what I believe!" he said. I know he's not for everyone, but he really is shifting from being a lost Rock-wanna-be doing "Poopy" humor to someone who really does most often act like a role model parents can be okay with their kids watching. He said he still believes and speaks to those who still stand in his corner. He said they haven't given up on him, and he hasn't given up on them. He said WWE Universe is all he's got and his everything. He promised that what happened at TLC will never happen again. He said his Road to WrestleMania starts right now. He said he won't be stopped and can't be stopped. He did break a promise already, since he did say he was going to use his rematch immediately if he lost to Sheamus. He vowed this time he will not lose another match until he becomes WWE Champion. Cole said it took a lot of guts to say what Cena just did. Striker said it was bold for him to make that promise. The announcers plugged the Superstar of the Year tournament brackets. [c]

-Mid-commercial they plugged Dennis Miller and that Match of the Year would be announced next.

[Q6]

-Dennis Miller introduced Triple H as "The Show." Ooops. Not as bad as "SummerFest," right? Or worse, because Miller gave away he doesn't really know Triple H's nickname. Triple H fired back: "I just want to thank Dennis Milburn for that introduction." Good for him. Triple H talked about defending the tag titles later, but asked the crowd if in the mean time, "Are you ready?!" Match of the Year nominees: Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker (WM25), Cena vs. Orton (Breaking Point), Edge vs. Jeff Hardy (Extreme Rules ladder match), Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown (Bragging Rights... huh?). Winner: Undertaker-Michaels.

Michaels walked out. Hunter told fans if they haven't seen the match, they need to buy the WM25 DVD and watch it. He said he can vouch for how good it was because he had to follow it and he "didn't stand a chance." Michaels said he had the honor of winning this two years in a row. He brought up beating Ric Flair, then said he came up a bit short in ending Taker's streak. He said he is still proud of what he accomplished in Houston that night. No sign of Taker, whose character doesn't participate in things like this or the Hall of Fame ceremonies. The crowd chanted, "HBK, HBK." He then got worked up and said, "Undertaker! I can beat you. I know it, and more importantly, you know it." He stared at the camera and challenged him to a match at WrestleMania one more time.

-Striker plugged Taker vs. Orton was up next.

-A commercial aired for the new "History of the World Heavyweight Championship" DVD.

[c]

-WWE Fact: Cena has granted over 140 wishes for the Make-a-Wish Foundation and is the most requested star from either the WWE, NBA, or NFL. I assume that means an MLB star tops him in requests.

-Ring intros took place for Undertaker and Randy Orton.

[Q7]

4 -- UNDERTAKER vs. RANDY ORTON -- Superstar of the Year Tournament Match

Striker complained about Teddy Long re-starting the title match last night, costing Batista his WWE Title win. Lawler said he thinks Long made the right decision. Long touted many countries where Raw airs including the Philippines, China, Japan, Italy, and Serbia. Orton began with... (guess... guess)... yep, a headlock. Taker fought out of it immediately and worked over Orton's arm. He went for a quick top rope walk, but Orton fought out of it with an armdrag. He stomped on Taker's mid-section and punched him a few times. Orton clotheslined Taker to the floor, but Taker landed on his feet and yanked Orton to the floor. He followed with his signature guillotine legdrop. Striker gave Cole a hard time about whether he's used the term "vintage" twice in one match. Rhodes and DiBiase walked toward the ring. Taker turned toward them and scared them into retreating. Orton surprised Taker with an RKO at ringside. Both were slow to get up. Orton rolled into the ring and beat the count.

WINNER: Orton via countout in 3:00. These matches are just too short, no matter what the excuse. It makes it seem so arbitrary that PPV versions of the exact same matches last much longer. I get why they do it, but the consequences of it seem to be disregarded when they give away these marquee matches on TV without any intention of delivering a full-fledged match.

-Afterward, Rhodes and DiBiase stomped away at Taker mid-ring. Taker sat up and grabbed their throats and shoved them over the top rope to the floor. He then chokeslammed Orton, giving the fans something to cheer about. Cole wondered what effect that would have on Orton's chances against Cena tonight.

-Cole hyped the Cena vs. Orton finals for Superstar of the Year. [c]

-Miller was back at the podium. He joked that they were two hours into the 17 hours extravaganza. He introduced Vince McMahon, whom he said gave him some notes on how to do comedy. He sarcastically joked about that completing his life. McMahon said he had a vision "some months ago" to have a guest host every week on Raw (uh, wasn't that Donald Trump's idea?). He said some have been better than others. He shot a look at Miller. He asked what's wrong with the non-responsive fans. "What a lousy audience," he said. Guest Host of the Year Nominees: Bob Barker (he was the best as he was fully into it, with command of the crowd, and entertaining and geniune-seeming), Seth Green, Shaquille O'Neal, and The Osbournes. Poor Jeremy Piven. He won't be able to add a Slammy next to his Emmys. Barker won. They made the right call.

They went to a video of Barker accepting his award. He plugged his book again and thanked WWE for selling a lot of copies. He reminded everyone proceeds go to charity. He said he had a great time and everyone with WWE was wonderful to work with. He closed with, "Go for it!" McMahon asked Miller what he'd do if he were going to name a guest host: Al Franken, Sarah Palin, Howard Finkle? Miller suggested an age-old favorite of his, Bret "The Hitman" Hart. McMahon looked uncomfortable. Lawler said: "There's Vince on the spot. Have you ever seen that." Vince said the last time Bret was on WWE TV, "Bret screwed Bret." I think we have our Jan. 4 counter-attack to Hulk Hogan on TNA Impact on Monday night. If there's anything that can get Bret back on WWE TV, it might be sticking it to Hogan. At least Miller got Bret's nickname right. It'd have been really bad if he called Bret his old favorite and called him Bret "The Game" Hart or something.

[Q8] [c]

-Chris Jericho approached Miller backstage. He thanked him for showing respect for him, unlike other guest hosts, because he has the power to cancel his tag title defense, but he knows better than to do that. Miller went into his signature "rant" routine. He called Jericho an "energy black hole" and said he "sucks the vibe out of the show." He said he's decided to keep his tag title match on because his agenda belongs anywhere but on Raw. Jericho said he is cognizant of everything that happens and he can't wait to prove him wrong. He got on his cell phone and began making some "jokes" about what the guys on the Slammy statues were doing to each other. I'm not sure any of that really made any sense, but whatever. I'm wonder if after filming that segment, they complained together as fellow millionaires who they believe are "overtaxed by Obama," as Jericho once complained.

5 -- DX vs. CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW -- Unified Tag Team Title Match

Jericho and Show brought their Slammy trophies to ringside. DX shoved the referee over with Michaels kneeling behind the ref. The ref got so upset, he DQ'd DX. Roberts announced that DX lost, but retained their tag titles.

WINNERS: Show & Jericho via DQ.

-Michaels feigned being upset with Triple H for costing them the match. Hunter apologized for costing them the winner's prize money. The crowd laughed when Hunter said that was JeriShow's one title rematch. The problem with doing this isn't that it doesn't play well for some laughs when it's done, but it makes every champion seem crazy for not doing the exact same thing and punching the referee before every title defense. I mean, if there aren't ramifications to an intentional DQ, why doesn't every heel do that. This booking relies on fans not asking that question or caring. Hunter said Jericho shouldn't even be on Raw. They said he is trespassing, again ignoring that on three-hour shows, all three brands are represented. After all, a bunch of ECW wrestlers and Undertaker have wrestled on the show. Anyway, that glaring issue aside, a bunch of mid-carders came out dressed as a DX Army ready to escort Jericho out of the arena. Michaels caught an unprepared Jericho with Sweet Chin Music. He rolled out of the ring and the DX Army (Finlay, Truth, Cryme Tyme, Hurricane, Shelton Benjamin, Christian) forced Jericho up the ramp. Michaels said regarding Jericho, "He is outta here!" Cole said those words were made famous by Miller.

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