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PARKS' TNA New Year's Knockout Eve Report 12/31: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the special, including TNA Knockouts Tournament

Dec 31, 2009 - 10:02:56 PM
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by Greg Parks, Torch Columnist

TNA New Year's Knockout Eve Special
Staff09ParksC_120_1_1.jpg

December 31, 2009
Taped 12/21/09 in Orlando, Fla.
Aired on Spike TV



- TNA Open.

- Impact Open.

- Mike Tenay and Tazz opened the show by discussing what's to come on the show. They showed the brackets featuring the eight competitors, with the winner face new Knockout champion Tara on Monday night. They didn't keep it up nearly long enough for me to type them down. Also, they're showing the top three TNA matches from 2009, for the first time ever on free TV. And of course, they plugged Impact this coming Monday night.

1 - MADISON RAYNE vs. HAMADA - KNOCKOUTS TOURNAMENT FIRST-ROUND MATCH

Crowd was into Hamada early on. Hamada worked over Madison's right arm, with an arm-wringer and elbows. Rayne reversed with a wrist-lock take-down. Straight boot to the face by Hamada as Rayne was doing some taunting. Hamda went Old School, Undertaker-style, but she missed the arm drag off the top as it looked like she may have accidentally let go of Rayne. Neck-breaker from Rayne got two. After some more offense from Rayne, another front kick from Hamada put Rayne down. Then a standing side-kick nearly took Rayne's head off. Headbutts and chops from the import. Rayne dodged a moonsault, and Hamada tried to land on her feet, but lost her balance. Spin kick by Hamada, then a Hamada Driver for the win.

WINNER: Hamda, at 4:25. Wasn't Hamada's smoothest performance, but still better than most of the women's wrestling on TV.

- Christy Hemme was backstage with the Knockouts Champion, Tara. She said being called Knockouts Champ gives her goosebumps. Tara said she'll walk into the Impact Zone on Monday and walk out as champion. Tara did say she had a surprise on the show tonight: Introducing the top three matches from 2009, as voted by the fans. The two women mugged for the camera in an unnatural-looking way as they went to break.

[Commercial Break]

- They showed stills of Tara beating ODB for the Knockouts Title at Final Resolution.

2 - TRACI BROOKS vs. ODB - KNOCKOUTS TOURNAMENT FIRST-ROUND MATCH

ODB spit whatever she drank out of the flask, into Traci's eyes to start the match. Traci fired back with some weak forearms, but ODB slammed her down. ODB went to work on the arm of Traci that was exposed as having a birth defect. Double-leg take-down by Brooks and she continued her brawling offense. Single-arm DDT by ODB though, only getting a two-count on the pin. Spear by Brooks as the back-and-forth action went on. ODB got to her feet first, but Brooks landed a few chops. Atomic drop by Brooks, then she ripped off her half t-shirt (honoring the incoming Hulkster?), with a small bra barely containing her cleavage. High-impact move by ODB on the arm, then a TKO for the win. Who would've thought that they'd use the name Marc Mero used for that move, rather than Brock Lesnar's F5?

WINNER: ODB, at 4:16. Well, it had some psychology, which is a plus for a women's match.

- Christy Hemme was backstage with The Beautiful People. Velvet Sky covered for Rayne by saying she simply softened up Hamada for her in round two. Lacey Von Erich said Lauren was fired for assaulting her, as she claimed unsafe work environment. Not surprisingly, Christy has become the new target for the Beautiful People's abuse.

[Commercial Break]

3 - ROXXI vs. VELVET SKY - KNOCKOUTS TOURNAMENT FIRST-ROUND MATCH

Hard to believe Roxxi is the same woman that played the Voodoo Queen a few years ago. Big splash in the corner by Sky (well, I don't know that it was "big" per se), then a bulldog. She locked in the octopus, then bit Roxxi on the arm. Roxxi came back with rights then elbowed Velvet in the chest in the corner. Velvet dodged a slam but Roxxi locked in a front hammer-lock and hit the Voodoo Drop for the win.

WINNER: Roxxi, at 2:13. Fine for what it was.

Jeremy Borash interviewed Roxxi after the match and she said it was good to finally take out some of the trash (Velvet). She said he looks forward to facing Tara for the belt. Lacey ran down the ramp and hit Roxxi with the ugly stick, then choked her until referees intervened.

[Commercial Break]

- They showed an updated bracket for the Knockouts Tournament.

- Video footage aired on Jeff Jarrett's history in TNA. It included the last few weeks as Jarrett tried to get back into the company.

- Tara plugged that up next would be the first of TNA's top three matches of 2009.

[Commercial Break]

- Apparently, Turning Point was arguably the best TNA pay-per view of all-time, so Tara introduced the Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe match. Then they showed that match in full, entrances included. They did take a break in mid-match.

[Commercial Break - they showed Awesome Kong getting ready for her first-round match with Daffney as a cut-in during the break.]

- They went back to more of the November 15th Turning Point match between Angle and Wolfe. They had to take another break during the match. Why yes, this IS how I'm spending four hours on New Year's Eve! If doing live coverage Christmas night for Smackdown didn't tell you I have no life, this pretty much seals it,

[Commercial Break]

- The final few minutes of Wolfe vs. Angle from Turning Point was shown.

- They played a Before The Bell segment about Hulk Hogan, and the press conference at Madison Square Garden that made his arrival in TNA official. Funny to see Eric Bischoff lurking in the background playing the role of what appeared to be Hogan's lackey. They also showed Hogan making the media rounds and Hogan making the Monday night announcement on UFC. Even the voic-over man acknowledged going head-to-head with WWE. So they've clearly built this up as TNA wanting to go head-to-head with WWE...what happens when the fans see Impact go back to Thursdays? "I thought they were going to go to war with WWE, but it was only one night!" Won't it make it seem like TNA couldn't "measure up"?

[Commercial Break- hey, they turned the Slap-Chop mix into a commercial!]

4 - DAFFNEY vs. AWESOME KONG - KNOCKOUTS TOURNAMENT FIRST-ROUND MATCH

Daffney tried a test of strength, but thought better of it. She took Kong down to one knee and tried the test from there but again, it didn't work. Couple chops to Daffney's chest. Kong put the boot right in the neck of Daffney in the corner. She dropped down, landing right on Daffney's leg and knee. Kong picked Daffney up and put her on her shoulders, taking Daffney's foot and bending her so she kicked herself in the back of the head. Daffney tried to run away, but Kong whipped the Scream Queen into the steel steps. Back in the ring, Daffney got a few kicks in, but her offense seemed largely ineffective. Daffney missed a clotheslined and Kong rocked her with an Implant Buster. Game over.

WINNER: Kong, at 3:30. Dominant performance from Kong, probably what it needed to be. Too bad it was against Daffney.

- Christy Hemme was backstage with the TNA Knockout Tag Champs, Sarita and Taylor Wilde. Wilde mentioned that Sarita won the CMLL Bodybuilding Championship. She brushed that aside and said she's concentrating on defending the Knockouts Tag Titles. They face Kong and Hamada on Monday night, but apparently have mystery opponents tonight.

[Commercial Break]

- Tenay and Tazz talked about how good Final Resolution was (and it was good), then they showed highlights from the PPV as a way to preview 2010.

- It wouldn't be a Knockouts-only showh if some of the men interruupted unexpectedly. Sure enough, The British Invasion came out. Tenay was in near hysterics that these guys would interrupt the Knockouts show. Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams, the TNA Tag Team Champions, joined the commentary team.

5 - LORELAI & APRIL HUNTER vs. TAYLOR WILDE & SARITA

April Hunter, that's a name from the past. The Invasion noted that they considered Taylor and Sarita possible opponents for their tag titles. Double-teaming by the faces on Lorelai. Williams gets pointes for mentioning how the skullduggery for the heels went south. April took over on offense but quickly tagged out and Lorelai got a face-buster for two. Tag to Hunter, who teased Wilde. But Wilde came back with a Codebreaker. Both women made tags and Sarita landeda hip=lock take-over. Sarita dodged Hunter, who hit the floor. Some not-so-great double-teaming ended with the win for the champs.

WINNERS: Wilde and Sarita, at 2:46. The Invasion were awesome on commentary. That's all I have constructive to say about that segment.

- Tara plugged the second-greatest TNA match of the year being shown next.

[Commercial Break]

- The second top match of the year, also from Turning Point: A.J Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Daniels. They showed a few minutes of the match before hitting a break.

[Commercial Break]

- Back with more of the action. I would suggest checking in with the SyFy Channel's "Twilight Zone" marathon during breaks in action.

[Commercial Break]

- The last 10-15 minutes of the match aired, with A.J Styles retaining. The Knockouts Tournament continues next.

[Commercial Break]

- Mike Tenay and Tazz again showed the brackets for the Knockouts tournament.

- They showed a video package of Mick Foley spliced together with Hulk Hogan.

- Christy Hemme was backstage with ODB. ODB took issue with Tara as Knockout Champion and vowed to get her belt back. She told Christy to take a drink, but insisted on drinking it herself.

[Commercial Break]

6 - ROXXI vs. HAMADA - KNOCKOUTS TOURNAMNET SEMI-FINAL MATCH

Hamada wrapped Roxxi up on the mat, but Roxxi came back with a few headlocks. Test of strength won by Hamada as she twisted the boot. A few reversals later and Hamada got the ropes to break. Hamada and Roxxi traded arm-drags, and simultaneously dropkicked each other. The fans expressed their appreciation for the match. Abdominal stretch by Hamada, then a double-stomp onto Roxxi's back. Boston crab by Hamada, turned into a single-leg. Boot to the face by Roxxi that turned the tide for a two-count. Hamada met Roxxi up on the top rope, but couldn't suplex her off. Jumping kick by Hamada though. Hurricanrana off the top for only two by Hamada. Dropkick off the top, but Roxxi slid out of a move for a two-count roll-up. Hamada Driver, but a reversal into a roll-up for two. Voodoo Drop, but Hamada kicked out. Another near-fall for Roxxi. Hamada was able to avoid another Voodoo Drop and rolled up Roxxi for three.

WINNER: Hamada, at 7:49. I've arrived at my family's New Year's party, so some of them gathered in the living room to watch me and the show; I was too distracted by their little side comments to really enjoy this match.

[Commercial Break]

7 - ODB vs. AWESOME KONG - KNOCKOUTS TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINAL MATCH

ODB met Kong in the aisle and started brawling with her. ODB got thrown into the steps, hitting thigh-first in a painful looking move. ODB turned things around and slammed Kong's head off the ring steps. Kong turned ODB around and slapped her in the chest. Kong began to drag ODB back into the ring but ODB took over on offense as they went to break at about three minutes.

[Commercial Break]

ODB tried a sleeper hold, but that worked about as well as you'd think. Same went with the shoulder-block attempts. Splash into the corner by ODB, then she preceeded to kick away at Kong. Bronco Buster by ODB. Pin attemtpt for two. She tried to slam Kong, but Kong fell on her for two. Hard clothesline by Kong after one attempt by ODB. Kong backed into ODB in the corner, butg it showed a lot of light. ODB pulled the ref into the corner on a charge and Jamie Tucker took the brunt of Kong's splash. Kong got ODB up for a powerbomb, but ODB used the alcohol bottle on Kong's head. She got the pin as the referee came to.

WINNER: ODB, at 9:41. You had to know neither woman was going over cleanly here, so the finish was smart.

- Tara previewed the number one TNA match of the year, which is next.

[Commercial Break]

- Tara introduced the final match-of-the-year for 2009: Sting vs. A.J. Styles from Bound for Glory. For what it's worth, my family is still around, and one of my aunt's is gushing over the attractiveness of Styles.

[Commercial Break]

- I forgot how short this match was compared to the others: Only one commercial break in the middle of it. Ah, but there is Sting's speech at the end. The Knockouts Tournament Final is next.

[Commercial Break]

- A video package aired on Sting, with comments from him about the addition of Hulk Hogan.

- Tazz and Mike Tenay talked about this Monday night's Impact.

- Both ladies in the finals of the Knockout Tournament were walking backstage in a split-screen. Their match is next.

[Commercial Break]

8 - HAMADA vs. ODB - KNOCKOUTS TOURNAMENT FINALS MATCH

So if Hamada wins, does this mean she has two matches Monday night: One for the Tag Titles and one for the Knockouts Title? ODB pie-faced Hamada, and Hamada responded with headbutts. Springboard DDT by Hamada for a quick two-count. ODB wanted a break, so she went to the outside. She took her sweet time recovering on the outside. Kick to the face by ODB for two, but Magistral cradle by Hamada got two as well. ODB hung Hamada upside down in the corner and worked her over as they went to break.

[Commercial Break]

ODB was getting frustrated by the near-fallas at this point in the match. Splash missed by ODB in the corner and Hamada came back with an enziguiri. The women traded chops and open-handed slaps until Hamada ended that with four straight headbutts. Spring-board cross-body for two by Hamada. Another spin kick variation by Hamada for two. Jaw-breaker by ODB turned the momentum her way. At this point, Awesome Kong walked down the ramp with a table. This distracted ODB, who demanded referee Slick Johnson kick her out. Kong set up the table as a few more refs came out to try to get Kong to the back. She left, with the table still standing. Kick to the head by Hamada and ODB rolled to ringside. Hamada came off the apron and somersaulted onto ODB. She pointed toward the table, of course, getting a pop from the blood-thirsty fans. Bigger than usual table too. Headbutt sent ODB onto the table. Hamada went to the top for a moonsault and missed, as ODB was able to slide off the table just in time. ODB rolled Hamada into the ring and hit the TKO to win the tournament.

WINNER: ODB, at 14:34. Longest women's match in some time. Pretty good too, though they may have telegraphed putting Hamada in this match when she's already in one on Monday night.

We'll hear from ODB after the break.

[Commercial Break]

- J.B. was in the ring with ODB out of break. He introduced ODB as the number one contender for the Knockouts Championship. She yelled at the crowd for making so much noise that she couldn't hear Borash. Borash had an announcement, that being ODB would get her title shot this Monday night. Oh, I thought that was already made clear. She said she'd be taking her title back this Monday. She said she just proved to everyone that she can outwrestle every knockout in TNA. She was visibly upset by the fans and said unlike other companies, these women don't show their skin off (despite ODB's short outift and boobs hanging out). Tara was offended and came out to confront ODB.

Tara said she kicked ODB's "fat ass" at Final Resolution and she'll do it again. She insulted ODB's looks and Tara said she came to TNA to be Knockouts Champion. ODB called Tara a joke as a champion and as a woman. Yikes. She called Tara a crybaby, but Tara slapped her, sending ODB down. The two brawled on the mat until referees and security broke them up. Tenay got his final plugs in for the Monday night show as they were separated.

- A music video aired featuring some of TNA's superstars in anticipation of this Monday. "Prepare for warfare" was a key lyric in the song.


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