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PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 1/1: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Morrison vs. McIntyre for the I.C. Title

Jan 1, 2010 - 9:00:05 PM
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by Greg Parks, Torch Columnist

WWE Smackdown review
Staff09ParksC_120_3.jpg

January 1, 2010
Taped 12/29/09 in East Rutherford, N.J.
Aired on MyNetwork TV



- WWE Open.

- They showed clips of Rey vs. Batista from two weeks ago, as well as Rey vs. Undertaker for the World Title from last week. It was quite a long video, taking up the better part of three minutes opening the show.

- Smackdown Open.

- Todd Grisham and Matt Striker opened the show and, as the camera panned the crowd, Grisham said Teddy Long wanted to find a new number one contender for the World Title, and someone who would challenge Undertaker for the belt at Royal Rumble. Thus, we’ll be getting a “Beat The Clock Challenge” this week. As a babyface general manager, shouldn’t Teddy Long give Rey Mysterio one more shot, considering his chance to win the title ended in a DQ thanks to Batista? Also, John Morrison faces Drew McIntyre for the Intercontinental Championship.

- C.M. Punk and Luke Gallows came out. Like John Cena on Monday night, Punk started cutting his promo sitting on the top rope. Punk asked the crowd who has made New Year’s Resolutions, and who has already broken them. I’m sure the crowd was a bit confused at this point. Punk picked on a guy in the crowd and said his resolution must’ve been to lose 20 or 30 pounds, and he must’ve already broken it. They showed the poor guy, who just shrugged. Punk wanted to help the fans, much like he did to Gallows. He wanted to read a pledge and told everyone to stand up. He implored fans at home to put their hands on the screen so they can feel him. He started the pledge then yelled at the fans for not following along. The pledge was basically to adhere to the Straight-Edge lifestyle. Punk was vexed by the crowd’s response and told them they can’t even follow simple directions. He threatened to beat up everyone in the arena to get through to them. Punk said next week, he’ll save a lost soul from the audience. He said city-by-city, his message will grow and spread. Punk said he’s not just a “minor threat,” as the youth of today will coalesce as a Straight-Edge society. Punk said he’d start by setting the Beat the Clock number tonight, then go on to destroy The Undertaker at the Rumble. His Beat the Clock opponent, Matt Hardy, came out. The match will take place next. I like the BTC matches because I don’t have to worry about keeping match times! Punk’s promo was awesome, and I can’t wait ‘til next week when he “saves” someone. That should be good.

[Commercial Break]

1 – C.M. PUNK vs. MATT HARDY – BEAT-THE-CLOCK CHALLENGE MATCH

The bell rang as soon as they came back from break. Quick roll-up by Hardy for a one-count. Inside cradle by Hardy a minute later for two. They went through a bit of a feeling-out process. Striker lauded the opportunity Punk has given people to join the Straight-Edge society. Front suplex by Hardy, but Punk turned the tables by choking Hardy on the top rope. Punk didn’t seem to be in a hurry as he settled into a head-scissors about 3:15 into the match. He again took his time after hitting a move to stand around a bit before going for a cover. Striker acknowledged that Punk was trying to wear Hardy down, rather than go for a quick win. Hardy made his comeback just shy of six minutes in, which included a bulldog out of the corner for a near-fall. Striker talked about the time between six and eight minutes, when wrestlers may start to lose their juice. Punk finished off Hardy with the GTS.

WINNER: Punk, at 7:20. Technically fine, but aside from the first few seconds, neither man really showed the desire to finish the match as soon as possible.

Gallows tried to beat up Hardy after the match, but Hardy fought back until Punk kicked him in the back of the head. Gallows hit his finisher on Hardy, as Punk proclaimed, “it’s clobbering time!!”

- John Morrison’s re-match for the I.C. Title is still to come.

- They showed the other three matches in the Beat the Clock tournament: Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio, and R-Truth vs. Batista.

[Commercial Break]

2 – KANE vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER – BEAT-THE-CLOCK CHALLENGE MATCH

Striker suggested that because of Ziggler’s amateur background, where he’s used to trying to win as quickly as possible, this kind of match could favor him. Ziggler and Kane did some chain wrestling and Kane held his own with the Kent State graduate. Standing vertical suplex by Kane about 1:30 into the match. Low dropkick by the big man for two. Ziggler held on during a back-body drop attempt, and turned it into somewhat of a DDT. Punk and Gallows were shown watching this match on the monitor backstage. Grisham laughably said that Ziggler ended 2009 on quite a winning streak. Kane awkwardly slammed Ziggler but missed an elbowdrop. Fameasser by Ziggler for two. The other thing about this is how the announcers talk about 7:20 as being a difficult time to beat, when on Raw, hardly any matches last that long. Big boot by Kane on Ziggler. He couldn’t pick up the win, however. Sidewalk slam for another two-count. Running powerslam by the Big Red Machine for only two. He went to the top, but Ziggler stopped him with 1:30 to go. Kane found the mark on a top rope clothesline, but again, couldn’t seal the deal. Under a minute to go, Kane went for a chokeslam, but Ziggler choked him on the ropes. Sleeper by Ziggler with :40 to go. It was more of a headlock, really. Ziggler got Kane to the mat, but he did not give up by the time the buzzer rang.

WINNER: No Contest, at 7:20. Didn’t really expect Ziggler or Kane to set the mark here, but a win over someone the caliber of Kane at some point wouldn’t hurt Ziggler.

After the match, a frustrated Ziggler gave Kane the Zig-Zag.

- The announcers plugged the other two Beat the Clock Challenge matches.

[Commercial Break]

- Grisham and Striker, on camera, discussed the final Raw of 2009 with Striker correctly calling the new year “Twenty-Ten” rather than “Two-Thousand Ten,” if you believe the grammatical police out there. Anyway, we got a Raw Rebound to watch at this point.

3 – THE CAROLINA PANTHER vs. THE GREAT KHALI

The Panther was some jobber wearing a Julius Peppers jersey, likely to get heat in front of the New York Giants-loving crowd after the Giants laid an egg against the Panther. The Panther got down in a football stance and tried to punch away at the mid-section of Khali. Khali just gave the Khali Bomb to Panther.

WINNER: Khali, at :28. Just like the real Carolina Panthers in 2009, this Carolina Panther was going nowhere.

[Commercial Break]

- Both John Morrison and Drew McIntyre made their entrances for the I.C. Title match. It’s next.

[Commercial Break]

4 – JOHN MORRISON vs. DREW MCINTYRE – INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Flying leg kick by Morrison soon after the bell rang, then he sent Mac to the outside. Morrison went off the barricade to land on McIntyre, but Drew moved and Morrison landed on his feet. He went back up and ended up flipping onto McIntyre, though it looked like McIntyre was going to pull him down. Morrison’s leg ended up getting caught in the middle and bottom rope and McIntyre took full advantage, weakening the leg. Striker said the last time this title changed hands in this city was in 1999. Morrison tried to fight out of McIntyre’s leg holds and did end up catching McIntyre with a Flying Chuck for a two-count. Nice back-breaker by McIntyre for two. The champ removed the top turnbuckle pad and the referee had to physically restrain Morrison from beating on McIntyre. McIntyre pushed Morrison into the referee, who only saw Morrison running him over, and disqualified Morrison.

WINNER: McIntyre, by DQ, at 4:47. Disappointingly short, but this DQ finish by the heel to keep his belt is a lot easier to stomach the ones that are happening on Raw.

After the match, Morrison and McIntyre brawled on the ramp as the entire referee locker room emptied to break things up. I miss the agents breaking stuff like this up.

- The announcers hyped the two other Beat the Clock matches that are left for tonight.

[Commercial Break]

- Layla and Michelle McCool were sitting at ringside, both wearing shirts they made themselves. One was a Piggie James one, and Layla had a “We (heart) Glamazon” one. They both wore a headband in honor of her, and both had crosses around their necks.

5 – BETH PHOENIX vs. MICKIE JAMES

Back-breaker by Phoenix for a quick two-count. Mickie came off the top with a Thesz Press for two. Layla jumped up on the apron to distract the ref. McCool got on the apron as well and went to kick James, but she kicked Beth accidentally. James then rolled Beth up for the win.

WINNER: Mickie, at 1:02. I wonder if they were running long, because this seemed shorter than usual.

Mickie fought off Layla after the match, until McCool interrupted. Beth got involved and threw McCool half-way across the ring and slammed her into the buckle. Mickie was paired off with Layla and Beth was beating up McCool. Phoenix tried to press slam McCool, and came close. Beth and Mickie stood together in the ring after fighting off the two heels. Beth slapped hands with Mickie as she walked by, but a happy ending it was not to be, as Mickie turned her back and Beth hit the Glam Slam. They’ve come close a couple times to pulling the trigger on a Beth face run, but I guess that’s still a ways away yet.

- Chris Jericho was walking backstage. His Beat the Clock match is next.

[Commercial Break]

- Jericho got the mic before the match and said Smackdown just isn’t big enough for him. He’s also bigger than all the gelatinous tape-worms that watch him every Friday night. He talked about his match with Big Show against DX this coming Monday, going so far as to “guarantee” it. He said he’d once again be the face of Raw, Smackdown, ECW, Superstars, live events, WWE Classics on Demand, etc. That was pretty funny. Jericho’s New Year’s resolution was to win every championship in WWE. He said that starts tonight against Rey Mysterio. Mysterio came out for the match, which is next.

[Commercial Break]

6 – CHRIS JERICHO vs. REY MYSTERIO – BEAT-THE-CLOCK MATCH

Jericho gave a beating to Rey, then threw him under the bottom rope and this time, Rey did not do a flip recovery. Punk and Gallows were again shown watching this match backstage. Rey got back on the apron at seven and got a ton of air on a springboard cross-body for two. Jericho quickly turned things back in his favor and headbutted Mysterio down. Enziguiri by Rey set Jericho up for a 619, but Jericho with a lucha-libre style back-drop (according to Striker). Four minutes in, Jericho had Rey locked in a potential submission hold on the mat. Rey got out of it and went to the top, landing a flying headbutt to the chest, shades of El Hijo del Santo (again, according to Striker). Springboard cross-body off the second rope for two. Rey powered out of a Walls of Jericho attempt, but couldn’t capitalize. Back-breaker by Jericho for two. With 1:30 left, Jericho taunted Rey , but got set up again for the 619. Jericho caught the attempt and locked in the Walls of Jericho. Mysterio re-positioned himself to escape and finally hit the 619. With 30 seconds left, Rey tried a springboard, but Jericho caught him in mid-air with an awesome-looking Codebreaker. Jericho couldn’t make the cover in time, as he was still nursing injuries. Ten seconds to go, he tried to get Rey off the mat for a move, but Rey got an inside cradle and registered the pin with one second left.

WINNER: Mysterio, at 7:19. Great timing by all three of the men in the ring on that one, as it all looked very fluid and no one had to go purposely fast/slow to meet the necessary time.

- R-Truth faces Batista next in the final Beat the Clock match.

[Commercial Break]

- Mysterio was sitting at ringside to watch the next match up close.

- R-Truth and Batista both made their entrances for the main event, which is next. Lots of commercials right before the start of the matches, but it makes sense with the Beat the Clock format – you don’t want to take a break in the middle of one of those matches.

[Commercial Break]

7 – R-TRUTH vs. BATISTA – BEAT-THE-CLOCK MATCH

Batista slammed into Truth in the corner and kept an eye on Mysterio. Roll-up out of the corner by Truth for two. Leg-drop followed that up. Batista was back on offense in no time and landed a suplex on the former K-Kwik. Truth dodged a charge in the corner and did his usual dance, but Batista kicked him in the face when he went for a split. Truth got out of a Batista Bomb attempt and kicked his opponent in the head, sending him to the outside. He launched himself onto Batista on the outside. The two went at it on the outside, but Batista caught Truth coming in and slammed him shoulder-first into the ring post. Batista threw Truth into the steel steps as Striker proclaimed this beating a message to Rey Mysterio. With three minutes to go, Batista continued toying with R-Truth. Truth fought back with rights and a dropkick. Bossman slam by The Animal got two. With 2:00 to go, Truth got a desperation DDT for a two-count. Spinning axe kick for another near-fall. Batista didn’t connect on either of two charges in the corner, but he swatted Truth away on a dropkick off the top rope. Under a minute to go, and Batista speared Truth. He kept making sure to look at Rey after each high-impact move. Spinebuster by Batista with :25 to go. Batista Bomb found the mark with under ten seconds to go, but on a two-count, the referee got pulled out of the ring by Mysterio. Isn’t that a DQ?

WINNER: No Contest, at 7:19. Boy, WWE is actively trying to make their referees look like idiots apparently. How is that not a DQ, allowing Batista to move on? I mean, I’d prefer to see Rey vs. Taker as well (for the reasons I listed at the top of the report), but the last few weeks has been TNA-level booking of finishes and referee incompetence.

- Rey celebrated on the ramp as Batista glared at him from the ring. That looked like the ending, but Vickie Guerrero came out. She said Rey just cheated Batista, so Rey will take on Batista next week to determine the true number one contender. Didn’t we just have this match for the number one contender, like, two weeks ago?

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also read his frequently updated blog in the VIP forum. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Also, look for his Tuesday chats with James Caldwell each Tuesday afternoon, posted on the Torch website. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.


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