By: Daniel Wilkenfeld, PWTorch Contributor

Where We've Been: For the last two months, sans one horrible week, they've mostly been biding time for tonight by just giving us good wrestling to keep our minds off the plot's water treading. It was really a pretty good deal all around. Let's hope the new one's as good.

The Show: Time for a Change

We see hype for all the acquisitions TNA has made, without overemphasizing Hogan. Okay, I'm good so far.

[Opening Credits]

We run down the card for tonight. We have a Steel Asylum Ultimate X Match, a Knockouts Championship Match between ODB and Tara, a Barbed Wire Massacre with Rhino and Abyss (why?), and Beer Money vs. The British Invasion in Full Metal Mayhem. I'm not sure about that Barbed Wire Massacre, but otherwise things look good.

Bubba the Love Sponge interviews people who want more wrestling, more Hogan, and more chair shots. This is not a good momentum builder, but it only overstays its welcome by a minute or two.

(1)ALEX SHELLEY vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. SUICIDE vs. HOMICIDE vs. AMAXING RED vs. KIYOSHI vs. JAY LETHAL vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED
Steel Asylum Match
Hey look—Amazing Red. Okay, raise your hand if you even remembered that he was the X Division Champion. We're told that Mick Foley was denied access to the Impact Zone. Lethal Consequences double team Sabin to start. Shelley is trying to sneak up the side, and the crowd is going ballistic for him. Lethal quickly closes the distance and forces him down with a series of strikes. Suicide nails Red with the Suicide Solution inside the ring, only to be taken down by with a Lethal Combo from (not surprisingly) Lethal, who eats a stiff kick from Sabin, who takes a cool sitting Flatliner from Kiyoshi, who gets a Double Knee Gut Buster from Creed, who gets knocked down by Homicide, who gets a Tornado DDT from Red, who gets knocked down by Suicide, who's climbing. The crowd is going nuts. Suicide tries to climb, but Red catches up to him on the ring post. Suicide knocks him off, and Red falls into a Hurricanrana on Sabin. Kiyoshi grabs Red and holds him up for Homicide, who whacks him with a baton. Once he gets going, Homicide takes down everyone else with a baton too, including fellow World Elite member Kiyoshi. The ref rules it a No Contest. The crowd is ticked, but the wrestlers don't seem to notice the ruling anyway. They're still trying to get through the top, but some weird emo rock hits and HOLY SHIT! That's Jeff Hardy coming through the crowd. Homicide has gotten out and tries to jump Jeff Hardy, but Hardy takes him down with a chair shot to the head. He climbs to the top of the steel.

WINNER: No contest, but really Jeff Hardy. It would have been awesome if the crowd could have gotten a “Screw Hulk Hogan” chant going when Jeff Hardy showed up, but I guess there's no reason to be inhospitable.

UNPROTECTED HEAD SHOT COUNTER: 16—though in all fairness, Hardy might just have gotten his shoulder.

[Commercial Break]

Jeff Hardy goes into the back, where he runs into...Shannon Moore? Neat.

We go to a cut of Hogan's motorcade. I'm not feeling it, but I appreciate their effort to make Hulk's appearance seem like as huge a deal as possible.

Christy Hemme is in the back with Kevin Nash, who's finally in a good mood. He calls himself the smartest man in the business, and there's a reason for that—cause he is. But before he was tutoring Einstein in physics, his very first mentor in the business was Hulk Hogan. Let's just look at the facts—wherever Hogan goes becomes the #1 company, and working for the top company again will be good for Nash's bottom line. Also, Nash just talked to Hogan a few minutes ago—he's on his way, and he's not alone.

(2)TARA vs. ODB
Knockouts Championship Match

ODB gets the cheap shot on Tara as she takes her tshirt off. The crowd doesn't seem to have gotten the memo that ODB's heel. Tara gets her boots up in the corner and shoots back at ODB with a clothesline. ODB gets up swinging, but Tara wins the exchange. She hits some side kicks; ODB catches one, but Tara nails the Ensuguri. A Standing Moonsault gets two. She gets ODB into the ropes and locks in Tarantula. What is Tajiri doing these days? Tara comes back from the apron with a Slingshot Leg Drop for two. She looks for a Power Bomb, but ODB backs her into the corner. She tries again, but ODB slips out over her, hits a School Girl, and holds the trunks for three.

WINNER: ODB. Remember Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong in Las Vegas? This wasn't that. Anyway, Tara hits the Widow's Peak and lets loose her Tarantula (the creature this time, not the move) on ODB. She leaves with the belt.

We cut to a limo arriving backstage, and WTF??? That's Ric Flair! It's times like this that I'm really grateful I don't follow the comings and goings of personnel, cause I'm now pleasantly shocked. I'm also wondering—if Flair and Hardy are throwaways, then who the hell could be with Hogan? That's good booking.

[Commercial Break]

We see Christy catching up with Mick Foley as he tried to enter earlier. He did get the memo that he was barred from the Impact Zone, but he'd like to respond with a bit of a video memo of his own. He knows that some of the things he's said would lead them to believe that he might be a disruptive force, but he knows the historical significance of today and will be on his best behavior. Security doesn't seem to think that that changes anything.

Bobby Lashley comes down to the ring with Cristal. They emphasize that he's undefeated in MMA. You know who else has never lost in MMA? Me. The crowd is going nuts for Bobby. Maybe TNA spiked their drinks? Kristal takes the mic. Let's all be thankful for that. Bobby knows that this is a big night, so he has a personal message for Hogan. Bobby is an unrivaled two sport athlete. No one can touch him in either. But especially in wrestling, which is filled with a bunch of redneck hicks. That's why right now he's asking for an immediate release from his TNA contract, since they have better things to do. Wow that's cheap heat. Still, heel Lashley makes a lot more sense than face Lashley.

Velvet Sky leads the camera man backstage to “melt our eyes”. They've decided that since it's all about the ratings, and people like poker shows, they'll play poker on live tv, without a net. Lacey asks who Annette is. Then she asks for five cards. Sky objects, but relents since Lacey is so pretty. Sky reveals her two tens, which they eventually decide adds up to more than Rayne's three sixes and Lacey's funny heart guys, so Sky wins. Since they don't have anything to bet with, Lacey has to lose her jacket. It's a shame they're so bad at this game, but at least when they lose, everybody wins. Did TNA learn nothing from the mud-wrestling incident? Maybe Taylor Wilde will have something to say about this.

[Commercial Break]

Scott Hall and X-pac are trying to get past security, but are told they aren't on the list. They're not happy about it. We're told that TNA is the #1 trending topic on twitter right now. I'm not sure that's really something to be proud of.

[Commercial Break]

Hogan's limo is about to arrive, when a second one pulls up. Someone joins Hogan in his limo.

Sean “X-pac” Waltmann and Scott Hall have forced their way into the Impact Zone, when we cut to...wait, really?

[Commercial Break]

This would be very frustrating live. Waltmann and Hall have set up in the front row. A guitar riff that sounds like Hendrix starts up, and here's the Hulkster. He's sporting suspiciously NWO-y colores. The crowd makes about as much noise as they did for Lashley—that's a little odd. Maybe Lashley's family is in the crowd? There's no way they got Austin, is there? Hogan plays to the crowd for a few minutes, which has the good form to chant for TNA. He asks the TNAmaniacs what's up. He reminds us that we're making history. He says he's been in the back all day long—I guess no one told him about the limo bit. There are a lot of young faces busting their asses, and a bunch of old faces ready to gear up. TNA is about to become the #1 company of the world. This is the dream that he's been praying for—to feel the power and energy of TNA. Waltmann and Hall try to jump the rail, but security's not having it. Hogan says that if they have something to say, someone should give them a mic. They come to the ring, and all three share an now gesture. Hall's “Hey yo” drives the crowd nuts. Hogan loves the party, but if they have something to say, they should just say it right now. Hall says to say hello to the bad guy. When they heard that Easy E, Hogan, and Nash were all here, that meant big paychecks and big parties. Hogan says that this is a different time and a different place, and that things don't work that way anymore. Pac says that it is the same place, with the same people, and they're here to party. How awesome would it be if they sent out the Phenomenal One right now? Hall is confused—Hogan is the biggest and highest paid person in wrestling—why would he want to change things? Hogan responds that it's time to grow up and do the right thing for the business. Like jobbing to HBK...oh wait. Hall agrees that things have changed, and that they're going to keep changing with Hogan or without him. Nash's music hits, and he joins them in the ring. It's really fun listening to Tenay and Taz try to avoid saying “NWO”. Nash tells Hall and “Kid” to ease off Hogan, who has a role to play tonight. Hogan says that he's not playing any role—he promised Dixie that they'd change this company for the better. Nash say that he's been talking on the phone for a while, and that's not the conversation they were having. He wants to know when Hulk turned so corporate. Hall is amused by that. Hogan reiterates that it's time for a change. Hall looks ready for a fight, but here's Eric Bischoff coming to the ring. He says that this brings back memories. These are the men who changed the industry, taking the 800 lb. gorilla, putting it in a monkey cage, and spanking it. Bischoff knows a bit about about this group, and he thinks there's been a miscommunication. Everyone has to earn their place in this company. The crowd cheers, but Nash is oddly mollified. He says that he reads Bischoff loud and clear, and takes Hall and Pac to the back. Bischoff reiterates that everyone needs to earn their spot, and that everyone from the janitor to the World Heavyweight Champion will be under a microscope. He grabs the card from SoCal Val, and says that it was okay. It gets an A for effort, but that's not what's going to happen. He gives her a new script to take to the back. If you can't talk and you can't wrestle, you should be ready to head up north. Hulk's music hits. We see Sting watching from the rafters.

[Commercial Break]

(3)AWESOME KONG & HAMADA vs. TAYLOR WILDE & SARITA
Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match
We randomly hear that the main event at Genesis will be Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles. Sarita locks up with Hamada to start. She takes Sarita down by the arm, but gets an Arm Drag herself. Taylor Wilde tags in with an Arm Drag off the top rope. We cut to the back, where the MCMG have been taken out. Meanwhile, Hamada uses the ropes to climb flip over both Wilde and Sarita, then tags in Kong. Kong wards of Wilde with a kick and takes Sarita down with a Samoan Drop for two. Wilde takes Hamada out of the ring and tries to take down Kong with a dropkick, but it's not happening. It does buy time for Sarita to get up, and a double dropkick is enough to take Kong out of the ring. Sarita hits a Suicide Dive on Hamada as Wilde jumps off the top rope over Sarita and into Awesome Kong with a Cross Body Block.

[Commercial Break]

We come back to see Kong holding Wilde while Hamada dropkicks her in the face. A cover gets two. Wilde fights back from her knees, but Hamada takes her back down with a headbutt and some chops. Hamada pulls Wilde's hand close to Sarita's, but then slaps Sarita and pulls Wilde away. Kong tags in. She looks for an Awesome Bomb, but Wilde slips out and gets a quick Code Breaker. She gets the tag to Sarita, who immediately takes down Kong with a Springboard Dropkick but then walks right into a clothesline from Hamada. Sarita tries to get a Springboard Cross Body Block on both opponents, but gets caught and dropped to the mat. Wilde takes down Hamada with a Hurricanrana; Sarita wants to do the same to Kong, but Kong powers her up into an Awesome Bomb position. Sarita rolls through and tries for a Sunset Flip, but Kong sits on her. Taylor dropkicks Kong off at two. The crowd thinks that this is awesome. A cover by Sarita gets two. Kong gets her with a Spinning Back Fist from her knees. On the outside Hamada has somehow taken out Taylor Wilde. Kong hoists up Sarita into Power Bomb position, and Hamada helps her out with a dropkick off the top rope as she nails the Awesome Bomb. No one's getting up from that.

WINNERS: Awesome Kong & Hamada. Do different people book the Knockouts single and tag divisions?

Madison Rayne (now down to her underwear and, for no obvious reason, hat) suggests the women play “seven card babe” in the back, which is like seven card stud dealt by a woman. Val Venis comes by, inexplicably wearing a nothing but a towel. He wants in. He points out that that he has only one piece of clothing, so that he'll have to win every single hand. For some reason they agree that that'll be good for ratings, so they let him sit in.

[Commercial Break]

Mick has made it into the building, but gets stopped again trying to get backstage. The Nasty Boys try to get in next. Really?

(4)RAVEN & DR. STEVIE (w/DAFFNEY) vs. HERNANDEZ & MATT MORGAN
#1 Contenders' Match for the TNA Tag Team Championship
Raven kicks Hernandez in his gut, only to be shoulder blocked across the ring. Matt Morgan and Dr. Stevie tag in. Morgan hits a quick Carbon Footprint, and Hernandez wards off Raven. That's it.

WINNERS: Matt Morgan & Hernandez

Christy is in the back with The Pope, who's been booked to fight Desmond Wolfe tonight. She says that Hogan must see something very special in him to book him in a match tonight. Pope's not surprised—the greatest entertainer of all time would be bound to see The Pope's greatness. He is surprised that so far Christy Hemme hasn't put her hand in The Pope's cup. Right now he has other things to worry about, namely Desmond Wolfe—he's standing between The Pope and the mountain top, and The Pope will reach that top. Here's...Orlando Jordan? I say again—really? Jordan says that Hogan invited him, as they go way back. Jordan isn't surprised that Hogan likes The Pope, since he reminds Jordan a lot of himself. Pope does not seem to take that as a compliment.

(5)D'ANGELO “THE POPE” DINERO vs. DESMOND WOLFE
Wolfe goes behind Dinero and yanks him down by the arm. He stomps on it, but when he goes for a standing hammerlock Pope kicks out of the corner and takes him down with a flying clothesline. He lifts Wolfe up for a Slam, but Wolfe slips out and gets a Hammerlock Take Down. He shoots Dinero into the ropes; Dinero tries for a Sunset Flip, but Wolfe stops himself and grabs the arm again. He locks in an upside down Fujiwara Arm Bar. The Pope rolls into a Leg Lock, so Wolfe kicks him off. When he tries to follow him with a running knee Pope sidesteps and gets his Delayed Elbow Drop in the corner. The crowd believes that this is wrestling. Wolfe gets up and immediately yanks the arm again. He sets Pope up for a Tower of London, but Pope slips out. Wolfe looks for a Backslide, but Dinero reverses into a Small Package for three.

WINNER: D'Angelo Dinero. Have they let Wolfe actually win a match yet?

Jeff Jarrett is walking around backstage.

[Commercial Break]

Rhino has been taken out backstage. Bubba the Love Sponge takes the mic from JB. We recap Hogan's appearance for those who are tuning in at...9:52? I don't know why either.

[Commercial Break]

JB is in the locker room with AJ Styles, who can't wait to see what Hulk does next. JB asks about the match at Genesis. AJ says that he holds his belt with pride, but can't be satisfied till he beats Kurt Angle, because the world deserves to know who the best wrestler is. Eric Bischoff walks in clapping, glad to meet the man he's heard so much about. AJ doesn't seem as pleased about Bischoff as he did about Hulk. Bischoff has some good news and bad news. The bad news is that the match at Genesis between AJ and Kurt isn't going to happen. But the world does deserve to know who the best wrestler is, so AJ will meet Kurt for the World Heavyweight Championship tonight. AJ looks happy about that. He hopes Kurt's ready, cause he is.

Jeff Jarrett hits the ring, and the crowd welcomes him back. He agrees that it's good to be home. He reminds those who might have forgotten how he founded TNA, and the crowd thanks him. He also reminds them of critics who said that they wouldn't last six weeks, and the crowd responds that we should screw the critics. They're really organized tonight. Anyway, now they're on Monday night, live, with Hulk Hogan. Jarrett had tried for years to get Hogan to TNA, and finally the timing is right. He says that throughout his career he's done some good things and some not so good things, but by far the best thing he's done is give dozens of young wrestlers their chance. Guys like Beer Money—who he thinks are the greatest tag team in the world today—the Motor City Machine Guns, Daniels, Joe, and, last but not least, the World Heavyweight Champion AJ Styles. He just wants to finish by saying that we ain't seen nothing yet, since with Dixie, Jarrett, and Hogan working side by side, nothing can stop him. Hogan appears on the monitor, and is glad Jarrett's done talking. If he had heard anymore “I, I, I” he woulda sent out security. The truth is that Jarrett did found the company—and then ran it into the ground. It was Dixie Carter who resurrected TNA. The crowd thinks that that's bullshit. Hogan says that Jarrett should check his stock, cause this is Hogan and Carter's company now. Jarrett has no vote and no stroke, and he should be ready to lace up his boots and prove himself, just like everybody else in the back.

Christy is in the back with Daniels, who's confident that he'll impress Hulk Hogan. JB runs over to Christy, panicking because Mick Foley is trying to get him to let him in. Christy suggests he not bring any heat on himself, but it's too late. When JB opens the door to tell Foley off, Mick just barges right past him, saying that he'll go through whoever he has to to get to Hulk.

[Commercial Break]

Jeff Hardy is painting what appears to be Sting in the back. Moore thinks that he should sell it. He also says that the big man just called, so they should go meet with him.

Abyss comes down to face someone who isn't Rhino. The crowd gets the old-school “whoa Abyss” chant going, which we haven't heard for years. Joe's music hits.

(6)SAMOA JOE vs. ABYSS

Joe starts things off with some fast jabs that back Abyss into the corner. Abyss charges out, but Joe dodges and floors Abyss with his version of the Pele. He Face Washes Abyss, but when he gets a running start for the big one Abyss catches him with a Big Boot. Joe rolls out of the ring, and kicks Abyss when he tries to follow. Joe grabs a chair, but Abyss dodges and Joe gets nothing but ring post. Abyss slams Joe into the steps, so Joe rolls back into the ring. Abyss tees off for a minute, but lowers his head a bit early on a Back Body Drop and gets kicked in the face. Joe hits an Inverted Atomic Drop and quick Senton Splash for two. He tries to whip Abyss, but it gest reversed into a Short Arm Clothesline. Abyss charges, but Joe gets up an elbow. He uses the distance to go to the middle of rope for a big dropkick, which takes Abyss off his feet. He tries to follow up with more jabs; Abyss no sells them, so Joe instead hits a standing Ensuguri for two. Joe goes to the middle rope again, but comes back down into a Choke Slam for two. Joe rolls to the outside. The ref tries to keep Abyss from going after him. Abyss shoves him aside, so he doesn't see Joe whack Abyss with the chair from the floor. Joe comes back in and locks in the Kokido Clutch, and it's over. Abyss taps.

WINNER: Samoa Joe. That was a decent outing.

Bischoff is fine-tuning the format sheet in the back when Kristal Lashley comes up. She demands to speak with Hulk Hogan. Bischoff suggests that she take a number like everybody else, and that when she does get in she gets rid of the attitude. She says that he doesn't know who he's talking to, and that when she tells her husband TNA will lose the biggest star it ever had. Didn't she already say he was quitting? Anyway, Bischoff is not impressed.

Beer Money have been taken out in the back. Bubba the Love Sponge thinks he has an idea who did it.

[Commercial Break]

The Nasty Boys are still trying to get past security. Bubba the Love Sponge creates a distraction for them so they can sneak by.

JB is in the former MEM locker room with Kurt Angle. Kurt says that ever since he lost his title in September—when a great athlete named AJ Styles did win it, and Kurt lost it, even though there were two other people in the match so AJ never really beat him man-to-man—he knew they'd have to meet one on one. He just didn't think it would take this long. Now he gets his title back, because AJ is great, but he's not the greatest wrestler in the world today.

Hardy and Moore are walking backstage with envelopes they got from Hogan, which Moore seems pretty confident contain “what [they] were asking for”.. Some screaming teenage girls come by, so Hardy gives them his painting.

[Commercial Break]

The Nasty Boys are looking for a locker room backstage, and decide to take Team 3D's, since they're in Japan. The security guard comes by with doughnuts to apologize, but they shove them in his face, then trash the locker room. You know one feud I've always dreamed of seeing? Not this one.

(7)AJ STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE
World Heavyweight Championship Match

AJ and Kurt lockup. AJ takes over with a side headlock, so Angle elevates him over into a Back Drop. AJ keeps his grip. Angle reverses the hold. AJ shoots him off and leapfrogs him; Kurt catches himself on the ropes, but AJ just holds back a second and still hits the high dropkick. Kurt rolls to the outside. AJ looks to fly out after him, but Kurt looks like he's about to dodge; AJ catches himself on the apron, Kurt tries to knock out his legs, AJ flips back into the ring and then back out onto Kurt with a Somersault Plancha. AJ has Kurt backed into the corner when the masked man attacks (conveniently knocking down the ref on the way). Angle fights him off with a European Uppercut, then helps AJ up before the ref is any the wiser. AJ goes for a Body Slam; Angle floats over, so AJ shoots him off into the corner and clotheslines him, then Snapmares him to the mat. AJ then charges into a kick from Kurt, who then Power Bombs AJ into the turnbuckle. Ouch.

[Commercial Break]

Angle has control with a side headlock, but AJ powers out. He hits a series of right hands and back elbows. When he tries to charge into the corner he runs into Kurt's boot, but quickly hits a Neck Breaker to his knee for two. AJ goes for his Flying Forearm, but lands right into a Belly-to-Belly Suplex from Kurt. Kurt wants to finish AJ off with the Olympic Slam, but AJ slips out and connects with a Discus Clothesline. The crowd now thinks that this is wrestling. Kurt yanks AJ and catapults him into the ring post. He catches AJ on the rebound with a trio of German Suplexes. Kurt looks for an Olympic Slam, but AJ slips out and goes for the Pele—and misses? Angle gets the Angle Lock, but AJ rolls into a cover. Kurt goes for another Olympic Slam, but this time the Pele connects for two. AJ wants a Power Bomb, but Kurt takes him over with a Back Body Drop. AJ charges back at him, but Kurt dodges and finally connects with the Olympic Slam for two. Kurt lifts up AJ and hits him with a European Uppercut. He lets AJ charge so that he can Back Body Drop him over the ropes, but AJ lands on the apron and comes back in with a Flying Forearm. He goes to the top rope, but Kurt races up and catches him with a Super Butterfly Suplex for a long two count. Kurt goes to the top rope for a Frog Splash, but AJ rolls out of the way and connects with a quick Styles Clash for another long two count. AJ sets up Kurt on the corner for a Superplex, but Kurt fights it off and connects with the Frog Splash for two. Kurt stalks AJ for another Olympic Slam, but it's reversed into a DDT for two. The crowd wants to know “who needs Bret?”AJ sets Kurt up for a Power Bomb, Kurt reverses, AJ re-reverses into a roll-up, but Kurt re-re-re-reverses into an Angle Lock. AJ eventually kicks him off, but Kurt comes back with a Release Flip German Suplex for a long two. He shoots AJ into the corner, but when he tries to charge he goes right into AJ's Float Over Inverted DDT for two. AJ goes to the top rope, but Kurt cuts him off. Now Kurt goes for the Superplex. AJ tries to climb over Kurt for a Sunset Flip, but Kurt stops him with a Super Olympic Slam for 1, 2...no! Kurt gets the Angle Lock, but AJ kicks him off and then nails a Standing Ensuguri. Seemingly out of ideas, AJ hits a second Styles Clash, but it still only gets two. He goes for a third, but Kurt grabs the ankle. This time he grapevines the leg. Ric Flair appears in the entrance-way as AJ kicks Angle off. AJ sidesteps a charge and hits a Back Drop. He nails the 450 Slingshot Splash for 1, 2, no! Tenay says that we're going to stay with this match till we get a winner...and then it immidiately cuts to ads. That's a little strange.

[Commercial Break]

I guess they just meant that we'll stay on the air. Angle and AJ are jockeying MMA style. AJ gets into position for another Styles Clash, Kurt gets the ankle, but AJ rolls through and hits it anyway. AJ goes to the apron and hits a second Slingshot 450 Splash. That's all she wrote.

WINNER: AJ Styles. Great match, but the ending lost a bit since they annoyingly cut to a reaction shot of Flair walking away during the final sequence. They don't quite have the production of live TV down. Then again, they never really had pre-taped production down either. Still, it was a **** match, or at least almost certainly was live.

AJ and Kurt share a hug after the match, and Kurt raises AJ's arm. Hogan hits the entrance way. He says that those are the two greatest wrestlers in the business today. “We” have nothing but respect for Kurt Angle, and AJ just raised the TNA World Heavyweight Championship bar. He starts his closing remarks about how we're all gonna go to the top, when someone finally tells him that Foley is in the building. Foley bursts into the strip poker game, and Val (still in towel) is not happy. He eventually points Foley in the direction of his own office. When he walks in his chair swivels around and we see Eric Bischoff. He informs Mick that his “Executive Shareholder” certificate isn't worth the paper it's printed on, and that he has no influence anymore. He had best lace up his boots and prepare to earn his spot along with everybody else. Mick says that he got used to working for Dixie Carter, and might even have been able to get used to working for Hulk Hogan, but he promised himself long ago that he would never work for Bischoff again. If he's going to get fired, he might as well give them a reason, so he decides to punch Bischoff's teeth in. It might have been a better idea just to do it, since by the time he says that Nash whacks from behind, and he, Hall, and Waltmann beat Foley down. Hogan arrives just in time to stare silently.

Where We're Going. It looks like we're going to be playing the “is Hogan heel” game for at least a few weeks, which could be fun. The audience proved willing to boo him when he took on Jeff Jarrett (oh what a difference four years makes), so I would end up going heel for a while before the dramatic face turn. They threw out a lot tonight, but still left open a couple mysteries. The one thing I'm not sure of is if we ever found out who Hogan was bringing with him. Was it Bischoff? Pac and Nash? Or is that supposed to be still a mystery? Hopefully we'll get a couple more answers on Thursday.

Star of the Night: Kurt Angle. It was obviously going to Kurt or AJ, so it might as well be the one who did the job.

Overall: The show started oddly slowly, given that it had the appearance of Jeff Hardy, a Steel Asylum Match, and a title change. That last one really deflated things a bit. Anyway, there were still a plethora of holy-shit moments, and the last two hours ramped up to a pretty satisfying conclusion. There's something that seems annoyingly symbolic about missing the end to AJ vs. Angle because they needed to get a shot of Flair. This might have easily been an A+ standard Impact, but with the extra hype and, more critically, the extra hour, I think they came in just a bit shy of nailing it. Mostly I'm nicking them for their continued disrespect of The Beautiful People and the Knockouts Championship A-.

Daniel is a graduate instructor at The Ohio State University. He typed this report on his new Samsung netbook, and now his wrists hurt. Suggestions about how to avoid this problem and other comments can be sent to dawilk316@gmail.com

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