TV REPORTS PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 1/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Batista vs. Rey Mysterio for a shot at the World Title
Jan 8, 2010 - 9:02:58 PM
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by Greg Parks, Torch Columnist
WWE Smackdown review
January 8, 2010
Taped 1/5/10 in Louisville, KY.
Aired on MyNetwork TV
- A weird MyNetwork TV disclaimer came on the screen at 8pm, warning viewers that this is a private transmission for commercial use only, then a black screen for another 30 seconds or so.
- WWE Open.
- Clips of last week’s the Beat-The-Clock challenge matches aired, as well as the finish of Batista vs. R-Truth, leading to tonight’s main event.
- The show bypassed the Smackdown open and went straight to the arena, where Batista walked out with a microphone. He angrily called for a cut to his music and then asked for a spotlight and then his music. Batista walked to the ring and said despite being a new year, nothing seems to have changed on Smackdown. He was unhappy with GM Teddy Long for staying silent on the issue of Rey Mysterio interfering in his match last week. He thanked Vickie Guerrero for doing what she did last week, and Batista said she should be the GM. He demanded Long’s presence to answer for his silence, or he wouldn’t fight Rey. He said the fans would all leave too because they came to see him. What happened to, “I never cared about the fans” Batista? Anyway, Rey Mysterio came out instead.
Mysterio told Batista that he is blinded by his selfishness and greed. He called Batista an arrogant crybaby. Mysterio said he got himself some payback last week during the Beat-The-Clock challenge. He asked Batista if the big man came to wrestle tonight, since he was all dressed up. He wondered aloud if Batista may be scared. Rey said Batista is scared he’s going to beat him again. The crowd seemed to agree with Mysterio. Batista got caught up in the moment and said the match is on and that he’d make sure Rey wouldn’t walk out of the arena. Mysterio countered by saying he would be winning their match. Really got across how short Batista’s fuse is.
- Todd Grisham and Matt Striker plugged Batista vs. Rey Mysterio for a shot at The Undertaker at The Royal Rumble.
1 – KANE vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER
This is a re-match from last week’s Beat-The-Clock challenge. Hard right hand from Kane after he picked Ziggler up off the mat. Striker tried to get across the idea that Ziggler may be a loose cannon. Hey, give him the old Brian Pillman gimmick. Low dropkick by Kane for a two-count. Ziggler came off the second rope with a dropkick for only one. He got a DDT on Kane with Kane on one knee. Still only got a one-count. Lots of quick, unsuccessful pin attempts. Sleeper by Ziggler, which didn’t really go anywhere. Kane made a comeback with a corner clothesline and a big boot. Only a two-count though. Sidewalk slam for only two. Top rope clothesline by the seven-footer. Ziggler avoided Kane’s chokeslam and landed the Zig-Zag, but Kane was able to kick out. He went for a sleeper again and got Kane off his feet. The Big Red Monster got back to a vertical base and Kane stumbled through the middle rope and to the outside, with Ziggler holding on the entire time. As referee John Cone’s count reached eight, Ziggler let go and scampered into the ring. Kane couldn’t make it back in before the ten.
WINNER: Ziggler, at 6:20. I feel like there’s been a lot of count-out decisions lately. Even so, good win for Ziggler that makes him look relatively smart.
- Tonight, C.M. Punk saves a member of the WWE Universe.
- Striker plugged the song “Hero” by Skillet as one of the themes for the Royal Rumble.
- Backstage, Michelle McCool and Layla apologized to Beth Phoenix for kicking her last week. McCool showed off a new gift for Mickie James - a pig trough with plenty of greens. Beth condemned them for playing games backstage, and said Layla better be ready for the match the two of them have tonight.
- Chris Jericho was in the Hart Dynasty locker room. He talked about being kicked off of Raw and said he’s still the face of WWE and the best in the world at what he does. He told the Harts that they have some business to take care of tonight, and he respects them trying to take him out two weeks ago. Natalya said they’re more than ready to make an impact. D.H. Smith said what happened to Bret Hart on Raw was an embarrassment to the Hart Family and that it would never happen to them. Tyson Kidd spoke up and said they’re better than the best, period. They walked out, leaving Jericho with a smirk on his face.
- R-Truth rapped his way to the ring. He joins Cryme Tyme in six-man tag action after the break.
2 – R-TRUTH & CRYME TYME vs. THE HART DYNASTY & CHRIS JERICHO
The first minute or two of the match consisted of quick tags and high-energy offense from the babyfaces. Pump kick by R-Truth on Jericho as he maintained control over the self-professed face of Smackdown. Another kick sent Jericho to the outside as they went to break 2:45 into the match.
- The show returned with Jericho in peril once again. David Hart Smith low-bridged Shad on an attempt to run the ropes, and Nattie got in a cheap shot on the outside. Another heat segment started up with Shad Gaspard being worked over by the heels. At the 9:30 mark, Shad made the hot tag to JTG as Striker spazzed out on commentary. R-Truth dispatched Kidd from the ring and Shad booted him out for good measure. Jericho sent Gaspard to the outside and JTG rolled him up for a near-fall. JTG went off the top but got caught by Jericho and put into the Walls of Jericho – the REAL version of the move, not the wussy Boston Crab it has turned into. And hey, Jericho picked up the win with it!
WINNERS: Jericho and the Harts, at 10:41. Good work from all six men. Felt different than the numerous other Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme matches that I’ve had to sit through.
- Tonight, Batista faces Rey Mysterio to see who will take on Undertaker at the Royal Rumble.
- Backstage, C.M. Punk and Luke Gallows were walking, headed to the ring to save someone. And Gallows had a chair with him.
- C.M. Punk and Luke Gallows were introduced by Tony Chimel. Punk quietly told the fans to “quiet down.” He reminded fans that he would save a member of the crowd tonight. “Who wants to be saved?” he asked. He looked around for someone to ameliorate. He finally found a guy, several rows up, in a maroon hoodie. Security aided the young man in getting over the barricade, making him look like a small child in the process. The man’s name was James. Punk assured him he has nothing to fear from him or Gallows. James admitted he was addicted. Punk said it’s OK, he’s among friends. This is hysterical. They convinced James to sit down. Punk said what’s about to happen is the most important moment of his entire life – he’s about to accept Punk and Punk will save him. James raises his right hand upon Punk’s request and agreed with Punk that he’s tired of living his life like “all of these losers.” He looks kind of like NASCAR driver Brad Keselowski. James said he’s tried a couple times to stop smoking and Punk hollered at him that that is not good enough. He said Straight-Edge is a commitment, and he needs to stop trying and start doing. Punk demanded James assure him that he will stop poisoning his body. James did so. He also promised to “just say no” in the face of temptation. Punk said that’s easier said than done and that actions speak louder than words. He told James that there’s one more thing he needs to do. Gallows took out a razor out of a small bag. James tried to beg off but Punk told him to sit down. Punk said what is about to happen is a symbol of commitment against this society: It’s a fresh start and a clean slate for James. Punk asked James if he unconditionally accepts Straight-Edge into his life. Punk then cut the spiked hair that once adorned James’ skull. Grisham questioned the need for his head to be shaved. James did not look happy. Punk told James that when he looks in the mirror, he’ll know he’s stronger than everyone else in the crowd. Punk and Gallows got James out of the chair and raised his arms as James looked on with a smile on his face. “Next week, it could be you” proclaimed Punk. Words can not describe the awesomeness of Punk’s performance in that segment. Quibble with the segment length and whatnot, but Punk was great in his role.
- Luke Gallows is in action next, against Matt Hardy.
3 – LUKE GALLOWS vs. MATT HARDY
This is Gallows’ first singles match. The two men went back and forth, with Hardy failing to suplex Gallows, and Gallows dropping Hardy stomach-first over the top rope and gave him a punch to send him to the outside. After sending Matt into the ring, Gallows landed a back suplex for two. Sunset flip by Matt, but he couldn’t even get a one count. Gallows mounted Matt and punished him with rights. The former Festus missed a splash in the corner and Hardy capitalized with a moonsault off the top rope. That got him a two-count. Tornado DDT by Hardy for another two. Hardy to the second rope, but Punk provided a distraction and Gallows downed him with a big boot. That led to the Gallows’ Pole (or, the 12th step) for the pin.
WINNER: Gallows, at 5:46.
- Teddy Long complimented Maria for being named to the cast of The Apprentice backstage. Vickie Guerrero walked in and congratulated Maria, saying she’d like that opportunity, but she’s busy running Smackdown. Vickie showed off the new Mattel WWE Superstars. Guerrero asked Maria to give her a sales pitch for the figures. Long said Vickie’s action figure would probably be the biggest of them all. Then he looked off camera and said, “maybe not,” as Great Khali walked in. Khali said he can’t wait to get a Vickie action figure, as it reminds him of the cows back home. Then he said, “MOOO” right in Vickie’s face. I wish I was making this up.
4 – BETH PHOENIX vs. LAYLA
Layla looked a bit hesitant coming to the ring, but Michelle McCool accompanied her down and tried to instill some confidence in her. Beth shoulder tackled her, then gave her a version of an airplane spin. Beth pointed at McCool at ringside. Layla, on the outside, was thrown back into the ring by McCool. Layla went after the knees of Beth and then kicked her in the head. A few more kicks, then she jumped on Beth’s back. Phoenix flipped her to the mat, stood Layla up and gave her the Glam Slam. Fin.
WINNER: Phoenix, at 1:44. Interesting four-person feud here; better than the usual storylines we get from the Divas.
McCool got in the ring after the match, but Beth saw her. Layla grabbed onto Beth’s foot and Michelle kicked Beth in the head. The two heels worked over Phoenix until Mickie James came out and made the save. Beth and Mickie looked at each other….and Mickie nailed Beth in the face with a kick, paying back Beth for the same deal from last week.
- Still to come: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio, to find a number one contender for the World Championship.
- The announcers talked about Mike Tyson as guest host for Raw this coming week, then passed it off to a video package of Bret Hart on Raw this past week.
- Josh Mathews was backstage with Drew McIntyre. Mathews showed what happened last week in the finish of the Morrison vs. McIntyre match. Mac said Morrison became incredibly frustrated in their match last week; he didn’t just defeat Morrison, he dominated him. He said when Morrison came to the realization that he couldn’t beat McIntyre, Morrison snapped. Morrison then interrupted the promo and he disputed McIntyre’s claims that he’s definitively better than Morrison. Morrison dared McIntyre to say something like that to his face. But the I.C. Champ stayed silent. Morrison did his Scottish accent and made fun of McIntyre, so Drew got in Morrison’s face. McIntyre said he’s moving on to bigger and better things than Morrison. Morrison said one of them is bound to lose their temper, and if it isn’t going to be McIntyre, it’ll be him. Morrison slapped him and the two started brawling until refs and agents (including Dean Malenko and Ricky Steamboat) broke it up. Good segment.
- Striker plugged WWE.com and their story about predictions for 2010.
5 – REY MYSTERIO vs. BATISTA – WINNER WILL FACE UNDERTAKER FOR THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHP AT THE ROYAL RUMBLE
Mysterio used his quickness out of the gate, but Batista caught him and slammed him back-first into the turnbuckle. Back-breaker by the Animal, as he taunted Rey. Rey got his feet up in the corner on a charge and he tried to springboard hurricanrana the big man, but Batista wouldn’t let him. Rey did manage to set Batista up for a 619, but Batista escaped to the outside. As Rey followed him, Batista managed to send him back-first into the ring post as they went to break.
Rey was seated on the top rope and he fought away from Batista. Frogsplash off the top by Rey, but he came up lame afterward as well. Grisham said Batista raised his shoulder, catching Rey’s ribs and perhaps knocking the wind out of him. Batista caught Rey on another springboard attempt and planted him on the mat. And another. Batista speared Mysterio, then flexed before doing his Warrior routine. As he set up for a Batista Bomb, the lights went out and the gongs went off. When they came back on, both Mysterio and Batista were down in the ring. Batista was holding his head. Mysterio got to his feet and pummeled Batista in the noggin. Wheelbarrow into a bulldog by Rey Rey. Batista, however picked up Rey, but Rey DDT’d him. Striker noted that Batista had “those Johnny Walker eyes.” Mysterio connected on the 619, but again the lights went out and the gong played. This time, Mysterio and Batista were both again down. Crowd booed this time. The lights went out a third time and this time, Taker’s full entrance played. However, he never came out….and the show ended?
WINNER: No Contest, at 10:45. Not only did they not announce the winner, a pet peeve of mine, they went off the air with the match not officially ending. I predicted a Triple-Threat match at Royal Rumble on the Pro Wrestling Torch Livecast yesterday, and it looks like that’s where they’re headed.
Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also read his frequently updated blog in the VIP forum. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Also, look for his Tuesday chats with James Caldwell each Tuesday afternoon, posted on the Torch website. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to email@example.com.
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