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PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 3/5: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Edge vs. Big Show

Mar 5, 2010 - 9:00:31 PM
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by Greg Parks, Torch Columnist

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WWE Smackdown review
March 5, 2010
Taped 3/2/10 in Wichita, Ks.
Aired on MyNetwork TV



- The show started with a video package on new World Champion Chris Jericho, and his opponent at Wrestlemania, Edge. Today’s word-of-the-day: “spear.”

- Smackdown Open.

- Todd Grisham and Matt Striker opened the show by publicizing Edge vs. Big Show for later tonight.

- Speaking of the 2010 Royal Rumble winner, he came out to a pretty good crowd pop. Edge started off by saying that he was a little concerned about Chris Jericho heading into ‘Mania. He mocked Jericho for what he’s been saying the last few weeks (and longer), yet, Jericho keeps getting…..and he let the crowd finish, which several did shout out “speared.” Edge finished the sentence off to a pop. He crowed about Jericho getting speared every week leading up to Wrestlemania and even got the crowd to chant “spear.” However, Big Show’s music interrupted, putting an end to that crowd reaction.

Show walked to the ring to confront Edge. Edge called Show’s appearance a “depressing surprise.” He talked about spearing Show’s partner, The Miz, last week, which led to tonight’s match being signed. But Show said Edge wasn’t the only reason he was here: He was also on the show to find out he and Miz’s opponents for the Unified Tag Titles at Wrestlemania. Show deemed Edge “lucky” for beating Miz last week. Show ranted about how great he was but when he got to the part about getting his hands on Edge, Edge interrupted by saying, “what are you going to do, eat me?” Show said that he eats pieces of crap like Edge for breakfast. Edge countered with, “you eat pieces of crap for breakfast?” There’s that edgy 1996 humor from WWE. I can’t believe they pulled that out of the mothballs. Anyway, Edge threatened to spear Big Show and made a move like he’d do it, which froze Show. Show charged at Edge, but Edge low-bridged him, Show went toppling over the ropes and to the outside.

- Teddy Long was reading a WWE Magazine backstage when Drew McIntyre approached. He said people think he suffered his first loss to Kane last week, but asked Long to set the record straight. Long addressed the camera and said that, by order of the WWE Chairman, McIntyre’s loss from last week will be expunged from the record. Kane is still in the Money-In-The-Bank match at ‘Mania, but Drew will get another shot tonight (next!) against Matt Hardy. Drew tried to shake Teddy’s hand, but Long walked away. McIntyre was left with this goofy look on his face as he nodded, heading to break.

[Commercial Break]

1 – DREW MCINTYRE vs. MATT HARDY – MONEY-IN-THE-BANK QUALIFYING MATCH

Justin Gabriel accompanied Matt Hardy to the ring for the match. Does this make Gabriel an MF’er? McIntyre locked in a rear-chinlock within the first minute, but Hardy broke out and hip-tossed McIntyre across the ring. Mac was then clotheslined over the top rope and to the outside. Drew turned the tables at ringside, dropping Hardy chest-first over the barricade. Hardy made it back in and McIntyre kicked away as Striker sent it to break, almost breaking out in a laugh for some reason as he got the last word or two out.

[Commercial Break]

Back to the match, Striker noted that McIntyre had been working on the rib area of Hardy during the break. Northern Lights Suplex from McIntyre for two, then he mounted Hardy from the front and pummeled Hardy with fists to the face. Hardy caught a charging McIntyre with a boot to the face. He got caught going to the top however, and McIntyre went up to meet him. Mac was shoved off and Hardy went for the second-rope elbow. Twist of Fate blocked, Future Shock DDT blocked. Twist of Fate blocked again, but Hardy reversed a Jackknife cover and locked McIntyre in a pinning combination for the win.

WINNER: Hardy, at 7:59. This has to be the least appealing MITB match on paper in some time (ever?).

McIntyre freaked out after the match again. He got in Striker’s face and promised that he’d be at Wrestlemania in some form. Why doesn’t the Chairman just put him on the card against someone if he has the power to wipe Drew’s record clean?

- Slam Master J was watching John Morrison’s DVD, particularly, the part where Morrison was doing parkour. Slam Master said he’s been doing that too, and showed off some newly chiseled abs. Morrison seemed surprised. J left and R-Truth and David Otunga walked in. Truth said Otunga has been having some attitude problems, but Otunga didn’t seem to react well to that. Truth and Morrison talked about missing their Wrestlemania opportunities last week, but they get one more shot tonight, in tag-team fashion. They tried to come up with a tag-team name, but couldn’t. They decided being known as the Unified Tag Team Champs would be good enough.

- Tonight, Rey Mysterio goes one-on-one with Luke Gallows.

[Commercial Break]

2 – SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER

Both of these men are in the MITB match at Wrestlemania. Striker referenced “Seinfeld” when he said that Ziggler has a tendency to go “Crazy Joe Davola” during a match, lose his focus, and it costs him. Striker gets a million points for that one. Ziggler put Benjamin in the sleeper almost immediately, but Benjamin jaw-breakered his way out of it. Ziggler with a roll-up for a two-count. Striker went on to mention that Benjamin needs to be complimented and patted on the back, “Barry Horowitz style.” He is “on” tonight folks. Neck-breaker by Ziggler, who was firmly in control at this point. Ziggler attempted a monkey-flip, but Benjamin landed on his feet. He evened things up with a back-breaker. Belly-to-back suplex by Shelton fro two. Ziggler tried to take advantage again with a sleeper. Benjamin broke free and ended up hitting Paydirt for the win.

WINNER: Benjamin, at 4:36. As much as I like Ziggler, this was a win Benjamin needed heading into Wrestlemania, where few probably think he has a chance in the MITB match, considering his track record.

- Yet to come, Edge squares off against the Big Show.

[Commercial Break]

- Tonight, we’ll find out which team will face ShoMiz at Wrestlemania when The Hart Dynasty take on Cryme Tyme and Morrison & R-Truth in a three-way match.

3 – JIMMY WANG YANG vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON

When I saw Yang already in the ring, I knew he’d be facing Jackson. Yang tried to take out the legs of Jackson, to no avail. Then he tried a sunset flip, but again, that did not work. Dropkick by Yang, but it only took Zeke to a knee. Yang then did about a 450 off of a shoulder tackle. That was a thing of beauty. Yang fought out of the corner with some kicks, but made the mistake of going for a cross-body. It turned into The Book of Ezekiel (his finisher, a uranage) for the pin.

WINNER: Jackson, at 1:32. Grisham insisted that Yang would need a few nights off after this one. Given his recent history on Smackdown (or not on Smackdown), that shouldn’t be a problem.

- Rey Mysterio and his daughter were backstage. Rey got her an action figure of him when former ECW GM Tiffany walked in. She’s on Smackdown now, and had been watching Rey’s daughter for him. Rey told his daughter that he had a match and she gave him a prayer, and sent him out there. Tiffany continued to look after her while Rey left to go to the ring. From ECW GM to glorified babysitter. How the mighty have fallen. Match against Gallows is next.

[Commercial Break]

- The Straight Edge Society came out. C.M. Punk started his homily at the ramp, and made his way to the ring, talking about Rey Mysterio’s popularity booming because of parents’ neglect. He even lectured small children near the ramp. Punk even called Mysterio a bad parent and the fans cowards like Mysterio. Punk said Mysterio is weak for not facing him man-to-man, and Rey stripped him of his opportunity to be a three-time MITB winner. He said that Luke Gallows was attacked unprovoked last week by Mysterio, and Gallows has been carrying that guilt around all week. Punk forgave Gallows, but not Mysterio. Punk told Gallows to make Rey pay for his actions. Then Rey’s music hit as he came out for the match.

4 – LUKE GALLOWS vs. REY MYSTERIO

Back suplex by Gallows, as he gained the upper hand early. Mysterio attempted to pick up the pace, but Gallows stopped him. Punk’s NXT rookie, Darren Young, was shown watching on a monitor backstage. He looked….happy, I guess. Knees to the gut by Gallows, as Mysterio was grounded in the corner. Mysterio got after Gallows and caused him to miss a charge, sending him out of the ring to recuperate (and to get an earful from Punk). They went to break about three minutes in.

[Commercial Break]

Gallows nailed Mysterio with a right hand on the apron, then whipped Rey spine-first into the ring post. Back in the ring, big belly-to-belly for two. Fallaway slam followed that up for another near-fall. Gallows missed a charge and went shoulder-first into the post. Mysterio landed two springboard moves, but Gallows came back with a big clothesline. Mysterio went to the top, but Gallows cut him off. Mysterio headbutted him down, but came off the ropes right into a right hand. Big splash from the former Festus for only two. Bear-hug, but Rey turned it into a front submission move. Gallows got to the ropes and Mysterio cut Gallows down into the 619 position, but Serena stood on the apron to stop Rey. Punk provided a distraction that allowed Gallows to pick him up in a powerbomb move, but Rey shifted his weight and fell onto Gallows, getting the pin in the process.

WINNER: Mysterio, at 11:12. Gallows looked good here, but Rey got the win. Good booking, especially for Gallows, who hasn’t showed a lot in singles action since joining Punk.

Mysterio was taken up for the GTS by Punk right after the match, but he got out of it and kicked Punk in the leg for good measure before escaping.

- Jericho went up to Big Show backstage and congratulated him for winning the tag belts with Miz. Jericho asked him to annihilate Edge out there. Show saw through Jericho’s façade, and said he wouldn’t be doing in Edge for Jericho tonight, he’d be doing it for himself. Well, as long as it gets done, right?

[Commercial Break]

- The Raw Rebound aired.

5 – JOHN MORRISON & R-TRUTH vs. THE HART DYNASTY vs. CRYME TYME – TRIPLE-THREAT TAG MATCH FOR A SHOT AT THE UNIFIED TAG TITLES AT WRESTLEMANIA

Morrison and Shad faced off to start. The two men were pretty evenly matched until Shad hit a powerful one-armed spinebuster for a near-fall. He continued to work on Morrison, making the tag to JTG, as they went to break.

[Commercial Break]

The show returned with JTG clamping down a chin-lock on Morrison. The Hart Dynasty finally got a chance in the match when Tyson Kidd made the blind tag on JTG. He tagged out to D.H. Smith after receiving a dropkick. Belly-to-belly suplexes, holding on, by Smith. Smith and Morrison’s heads collided on a shoulder tackle. Kidd tagged in and went after Cryme Tyme, who were trying to get Morrison to tag one of them. Instead, Morrison made the jump to tag R-Truth. He was a ball of fire, hitting his signatures stuff ‘til Smith made the save on a pin attempt. Things began to break down when Kidd landed a springboard missile dropkick on Truth for two. Truth nailed Kidd with the Lie Detector for the finish.

WINNERS: Morrison & Truth, at 8:22. Fine action here. Sad to see that the Dynasty hasn’t received any rub from Bret Hart since his return to WWE.

[Commercial Break]

- Grisham sent thanks to Kevin Rudolf to one of Wrestlemania’s Theme Songs, “I Made It.”

- Striker plugged WWE.com’s MITB Trivia section.

- Backstage, Michelle McCool, Layla and Vickie Guerrero squawked about Mickie James losing her Women’s Championship to McCool last week. Simply Flawless was really sucking up to Vickie here, telling her how good she looked last week. They even gave her a tank top with “Simply Flawless” on it, just like they were wearing. “I so deserve this!” said Vickie. When Beth Phoenix walked up, McCool and Layla ran away. Beth asked Vickie when she’d get her shot at the Women’s Title. Vickie said Beth isn’t the most dominant Diva on Smackdown….she is. And she won’t be getting a title shot unless Vickie says so. Beth tried to intimidate Vickie, but it didn’t work. Vickie told Beth that if she thinks she’s kidding, just ask Mickie James.

- The announcers ran down the Wrestlemania card to date.

- Big Show made his entrance for his singles contest against Edge. It happens next.

[Commercial Break]

6 – THE BIG SHOW vs. EDGE

Show choked away at Edge in the corner soon after the bell rang to begin the match. He stepped on Edge’s chest as the crowd was nearly silent. Running shoulder tackle by Show. Slap to the chest (by not as hard as usual) by Big Show, then more choking with the boot. Edge escaped Show’s wrath on the outside, but back in the ring, he didn’t have the same kind of success. Not much more than a scantling of crowd noise, even as Show wore Edge down. Rear chin-lock from Big Show, to slow down the match even more. Didn’t think that was possible, but here we are. Edge hit a jawbreaker to get out of the move, then fought back with right hands. Bodyslam in the corner by the big man. Vader bomb, however, missed. Edge tried a tornado DDT, but couldn’t connect. Second-rope bulldog by Edge for only two, and there was a mighty kick-out as well. Show signaled for a choke slam. Edge countered into a DDT. It’s spear city, and Edge managed to take the giant down with his finisher and get the victory.

WINNER: Edge, at 5:31.

As Edge celebrated, Chris Jericho ran out and attempted to hit Edge with his World Title. Instead, Edge speared him. Then Edge got on the mic to taunt Jericho about said spear. “Though his mind is not for rent, don’t put him down as arrogant,” said Striker about Edge, quoting “Tom Sawyer” by Rush. They replayed what just happened and focused on Jericho looking back at the ring, with Edge staring back at him being shown on the Titan-Tron.

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also read his frequently updated blog in the VIP forum. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Once a week, Greg participates in the Pro Wrestling Torch Livecast on blogtalkradio.com. Also, look for his Wednesday chats with James Caldwell each Wednesday afternoon, posted on the Torch website. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.


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