KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
APRIL 5, 2010
LIVE ON USA NETWORK

[Q1]

-Justin Roberts introduced "the new World Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger." Michael Cole said, "That's right," and then went into explaining what happened on Smackdown. Jerry Lawler said it was the fastest turnaround and said it was just five days (actually two) between winning the Money in the Bank briefcase and cashing it in successfully. Swagger looked very serious as he walked to the ring. They replayed his win.

Swagger began: "Last week on Smackdown I made history." He explained how he became "your" World Hvt. Champion. He said before he gives his State of the World Title address, he has a few opening remarks. He said last week he considered cashing in his MITB briefcase on John Cena, but he said if he wanted to be truly recognized for what and who he is - a champion - he needed to take on a competitor who is superior to Cena, the man who calls himself the best at what he does, Chris Jericho. He said he would have beat Cena faster than he did Jericho, which was all of nine seconds?

He said he now is going to exclusively give his skills to Smackdown because no one on Raw compares to his abilities. He repeated himself, as if he was waiting for the music to play that was supposed to at that moment. Then he said, "So as for the state of the World Championship... " Then Cena's music began. So Swagger may have forgotten the actual "cue" line or else someone was late and he improvised. No big deal as it played out smoothly.

Cena entered the ring. Cole said now there are two champions on Raw. Cena smiled and looked at the crowd like he couldn't believe what this clown sophomore just said. Cena congratulated Swagger for being officially the luckiest man in the world. He said part of being a champion isn't bragging about what you've done, but what you're going to do. He said Swagger said he's going to Smackdown. "We'll be so sorry to see him leave," said Cena. He said he understands that the World Championship belongs to the Smackdown brand (not counting the times it didn't). He challenged his assertion that no one can compete with him on Raw.

Cena said there is someone standing in the ring with him wearing orange who disagrees. He sad that same Raw Superstar who is looking at him sweat nervously says he isn't championship material. Cena said he has earned his title, whereas Swagger hasn't. He said under that All-American American bravado, he is nothing but a weasel. He asked if he'd like to shut him up. He said if this is his last night on Raw, be a champion and face him in a match. Cena said he will step up and put his title on the line because he's so sure he'll do to him what he did to Batista and make him tap out, he'll put his WWE Championship on the line. Swagger said on several levels that doesn't work for him. As he began to explain, Randy Orton's music played.

Orton strode to the ring swiftly. He told Cena that he's sure Swagger, being the competitor he claims to be, would want to face the man who beat him last week. "Me," said Orton. ShoMiz's music played and out walked Cena and Show. As Miz said he is awesome, guest host David Otunga walked out.

Otunga introduced himself as the A-List and the most promising rookie on NXT. He said he's going to make this a spectacular show, A-List all around. He said Jack Swagger will face Orton, the man who pinned him last week. He booked ShoMiz against Batista & Cena in a Unified Tag Team Title match. Orton went for an RKO on Cena, but Cena blocked it, so he gave it to Swagger instead. [c]

-An ad aired hyping the latest WrestleMania magazine featuring 26 collectible covers, one on each of the big events.

1 -- KOFI KINGSTON vs. SHEAMUS

Lawler said regarding Sheaus: "Here's a guy who's not as bad as everyone says he is. He's worse." Cole and Lawler talked about how Sheamus has made his mark in WWE. They said while he put in a great effort, there is nothing to be ashamed of in losing to Triple H. Lawler said he hasn't handled the loss well and nobody can go near him in the locker room area. Sheamus dominated early, but Kingston made a comeback at 2:00. Cole said, "It's that controlled frenzy kicking in." Please, enough with that phrase! Sheamus came back with a kick to the face and then the Celtic Cross for the win. Afterward, Sheamus brought a pipe (or a vacuum cleaner attachment - hard to tell) into the ring and hit Kingston with it.

WINNER: Sheamus in 3:00. Kingston, with a short clean loss like that, is a ways away from a renewed push like the one he had against Orton last year. It's too bad because he was on his way to being a breakout babyface star.

-They showed Triple H walking backstage. Lawler said it looks like he's headed to the ring to talk to Sheamus. [c]

[Q3]

-Sheamus stood in the ring and said Shawn Michaels may have had a great career, but it took him four years to win his first WWE Championship. He said it took him only six months. He said the most illustrious first year of a WWE Superstar (ignoring C.M. Punk's, which was much better, but that ruins his narrative) was supposed to be capped off with a win over Triple H. He said he that didn't happen. He made fun of Triple H for crying when he said good bye to Michaels. He said Michaels left so he wouldn't have to face him. He said at WrestleMania, Triple H and Michaels had one great match left in them, but Michaels decided to leave before he took him out, but Triple H is a bit more stubborn. He said he doesn't believe Triple H has one great match left in him. He asked if he's going to leave WWE with his head held high or in a wheelchair. He said he can make the decision for him. Triple H's music played. Sheamus held his steel pipe and invited Triple H to the rng.

Triple H stepped onto the ring apron, paused, and stepped down. Lawler said that was smart. Triple H, though, bent over and grabbed his sledge hammer. He entered the ring, blocked a Sheamus pipe shot, and then knocked him out of the ring. Triple H swung the sldgehammer at Sheamus, where if Sheamus hadn't moved, his head would have splatted like a watermelon. Instead, it hit a monitor, which sparked and smoked afterward. Sheamus retreated through the crowd. "Isn't that like a silly Irishmen, bringing a pipe to a sledgehammer fight," said Triple H, who has no plans to visit Ireland as a babyface anytime soon.

-Cole plugged the Divas Red Carpet Dresed to Impress Battle Royal to earn a Divas Title match. [c]

-They showed Lawler and Cole at ringside. Lawler talked about how bad it could have been had the sledgehammer connected with Sheamus, but he said he deserved it. Maryse joined Cole and Lawler at ringside.

2 -- RED CARPET DIVAS BATTLE ROYAL

Maryse made smart aleck comments about each of the women's outfits. One looked like a bumble bee, another like a 1980s prom dress, another like Wal-mart and K-Mart, borrowed from grandma's closet, one from "What Not To Wear," etc. Rosa Mendez was first out, then a Bella Twin, then another Bella Twin, then Kim. It came down to Alicia, Kelly Kelly, Jillian, and Eve. Kelly was first of the final four knocked out. Alicia and Jillian worked on Eve. Maryse said she's having a good time. Eve knocked out Alicia. Eve blocked a handspring elbow by Jillian. Eve won when she sidestepped a charging Jillian, who flew to the floor. "Eve is like the type of girl you want to watch football with and drink beer with," Maryse said. She said if Eve won the title, she'd need an extension to fit the belt around her wide hips.

WINNER: Eve in 3:00. Maryse was entertaining on commentary throughout.

-Lawler plugged the ShoMiz vs. Cena & Batista main event.

[Q4]

-WWE Fact: Last week Raw was once again the no. 1 show on cable TV, beating every show on TBS, FX, MTV, History, TLC, ESPN, and TNT.

-They went to Lawler and Cole at ringside who talked about Otunga being the guest host. Cole said he won the NXT Battle Royal to earn a shot as guest host. A video package aired on "A-List" Otunga where he dropped names of famous people he's crossed paths with due to his relationship with Jennifer Hudson. He showed pictures of himself with President Obama and Jese Jackson. He said he spent three years at Harvard Law School. He said some people may like him, some may not, but he doesn't get caught up with the haters. (He said "haters." Was this filmed in 2007?)

-Backstage Otunga asked to a room full of people if he's the most flyest guest host ever. He said he's so Raw, you might catch food poisoning being around him. He said he asked for 427 green M&Ms. He said this show is going to be A-list from top to bottom. Santino walked in and asked where the "A-Team" is. Otunga said it's "A-List." Santino said he thought Mr. T was going to be there. He said he's the president of the A-Team fan club. He said he pities who tells him Mr. T wouldn't be there. They panned over to Hornswoggle eating his green M&Ms. One of Otunga's pals leaped at Hornswoggle over the snack table, but Hornswoggle escaped.

-They showed ShoMiz heading to the ring with their five title belts. So WWE put Cena's match up against TNA's final segment. [c]

[Q5]

3 -- SHOWMIZ (Big Show & The Miz) vs. JOHN CENA & BATISTA -- Unified Tag Team Titles

Cole said regarding Otunga teaming Cena and Batista together: "It's like putting Sandra Bullock and Jesse James on the same team together." Show and Miz isolated Cena in their corner early and took turns beating on him. Miz charged at Cena in a corner, but Cena moved. Cena walked over to tag in Batista, but Batista abandoned him. Miz jumped Cena from behind, but Cena turned and clotheslined him, then chased down Batista. Sandra and Jesse brawled on the stage. Jesse escaped to the back. The referee counted out the challengers.

WINNERS: ShoMiz in 2:00.

-Otunga walked onto the stage and told Big Show and Miz to hold on because they're getting off that easily. He said they'll be defending the tag team titles again later against Cena and himself. Cole asked if that's an abuse of power. This from a show run by Mr. McMahon for more than a decade? [c]

-They went to Cole and Lawler at ringside again who talked about the developments in the previous segment.

-Ted DiBiase brought the Million Dollar Belt with him to the ring. They showed a clip of Ted Jr. shoving his dad last week. DiBiase talked about his father being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. He said that prestigious honor had some kind of effect on his father because last week on Raw he did something he had never done before. "He tried to act like a father," he said. "Well, Dad, news flash. One act of random kindness doesn't make up for all of those lost years." He said he missed big events such as birthday parties, his graduation, sporting events. "The time to make up for missed opportunities is over." He said the way to make it up to him is not through his heart, but through his bank account. He thanked his dad for his trust fund and his Million Dollar Title. He said it truly is good being the Fortunate Son.

[Q6]

4 -- TED DIBIASE vs. CHRISTIAN

Cole talked about the Million Dollar Title, saying it was created in February 1989 and was unsanctioned. He said DiBiase created his own title because he failed to win the WWE Title. He said Virgil and "The Ringmaster" Steve Austin also held that unsanctioned title. DiBiase was Austin's manager when he first joined WWE. Christian dove onto DiBiase at ringside in the opening minute. DiBiase took over in the ring. DiBiase settled into a chinlock at 2:00. Christian made a comeback and set up a Kill Switch. DiBiase countered. Christian countered again and scored a leverage two count. DiBiase escaped a tornado DDT attempt from Christian, then gave Christian his Dream Streets finisher for the clean win.

WINNER: DiBiase in 4:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Good short match. This type of loss by Christian does establish pretty firmly that Vince McMahon has no plans to elevate him into a World Title feud with Edge. Edge will have to drop a bit in the depth chart to face Christian in the feud many thought was inevitable when Christian jumped from TNA back to WWE. This is confirms a bit that McMahon doesn't see Christian a top tier guy and possibly he's sending a message to others who want to stop by TNA to see if the grass is greener.

-The "Don't Try This At Home" video aired. [c]

-Lawler announced the three-hour special WWE Draft edition of Raw on Apr. 26. Cole then threw to a video highlight package on Shawn Michaels's farewell. By airing this video package, plus all of the name-dropping by people such as Swagger, I'm growing skeptical that everyone is assuming Michaels is truly done for good.

-Highlights aired of the Triple H-Sheamus angle earlier. Lawler and Cole commented on it. Then they showed Orton backstage in his "lethal, unsettling zone," as Cole described it. A clip aired of the tension between Orton and Cena earlier and Orton giving Swagger an RKO. They hyped that Orton vs. Swagger was up next.

[Q7] [c]

5 -- JACK SWAGGER vs. RANDY ORTON -- Non-Title Match

Swagger showed off his new blue and red robe. Lawler observed Swagger's new demeanor, noting that he doesn't dance around the ring and smile anymore. Cole said he's more confident and more serious now that he's World Champion. Swagger's ring intro came before Orton's. Usually, but not always, the champion is introduced second. Swagger clotheslined Orton over the top rope to the floor at 1:00. Swagger charged at Orton and knocked him off the ring apron. He then took over and settled into an abdominal stretch. Lawler said he used to like his youthful enthusiasm, but now that he's champion, he's trying to act more businesslike and prove he deserves to be champion. Orton came back with a DDT off the middle rope. Swagger put his leg on the bottom rope to stop the three count.

[Q8]

Orton followed up with a clothesline and a snap powerslam. He then slapped the mat and set up the RKO. Lawler said he goes to another place, another level, a place you don't want to be. Swagger countered the RKO with a boot to the face for a near fall. Swagger then hit a corner swing splash for a two count. He hit a second swing splash. Cole did a nice job here selling Orton being in trouble against Swagger. Swagger then went for a gut-wrench powerbomb, but Orton escaped and hit the RKO for the win. Cole called it a great performance from Swagger. Lawler said Orton made a huge statement.

WINNER: Orton in 11:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good match for sure. Yeah, Orton won clean, but Swagger was treated in that match as near Orton's equal despite a fluke World Title win, so it moved Swagger up without going too far too quickly. Swagger looked like he belonged in there. [c]

-Cole and Lawler talked about David Hasselhoff being the guest host next week.

6 -- SHOMIZ vs. JOHN CENA & DAVID OTUNGA -- Unifed Tag Team Championship Match

Lawler said "Access Hollywood" is interviewing Otunga tomorrow. He sounded impressed. WWE has really stepped up the camera angles of the crowd lately. They were especially proud of the last row of this arena being filled, as they went to more wide shots of the upper deck than usual. Cole said he likes Otunga's potential, but he thinks he may play off of his celebrity relationship too much. Show punched Cena from the ring apron, giving Miz an opening to take control early. Show tagged in at 2:00 and stood on Cena's chest.

[Q9]

At 5:00 Cena finally had a chance at a hot tag. Otunga called him to his corner. When Cena got close to a tag, Otunga pulled his hand away and jumped to the floor. He smiled and walked away as Show KO'd Cena with his fist. Cole said Otunga just blew an opportunity of a lifetime to win the tag team titles with Cena.

WINNERS: ShowMiz in 6:00.

-Batista walked to the ring and gave Cena a BatistaBomb mid-ring. Batista then said: "Spotlight, please." Otunga stood on the ramp and said he's still their guest host, and Batista has an announcement to make. Batista bent over Cena and said he's invoking his rematch clause for the WWE Championship at Extreme Rules. He said he won't be making anybody tapout because he can't win that way. He said the only way to win will be the Last Man Standing. He stood over Cena for visual effect. Nice imagery to end the show and drive home that stip. Batista's music played and Cole and Lawler reacted to the news.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Good show. The type of show you can kick back and watch start to finish, see a decent amount of good, competitive in-ring action, plus some storyline (Cena-Batista, Eve-Maryse) and personality (Otunga, Sheamus, DiBiase, Swagger, in particular) developments. The WWE usage of Divas is much classier than TNA's at this point. WWE has found a way to utilize the Divas in a classy way while still being both PG and sexy.

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