TNA Impact TV Report
April 26, 2010
Taped 4/20 in Orlando, Fla.
Report by Nick D'Achino, Torch Impact specialist

DETAILED RECAP
　
[Q1]

-Highlights from last week's stellar Impact aired, focusing on Rob Van Dam's World Title victory.

-Tenay and Taz wasted no time advertising the night's matches, saying that in addition to Flair vs. Abyss, Jeff Hardy & Jeff Jarrett will face A.J. Styles & Sting. It was probably smart to add a co-main event to that Flair-Abyss match, which I didn't sense drew much interest from fans.

-Hulk Hogan's music hit as Hogan came out to open the show, which he often does. Hogan was all excited about TNA, which he often is. He talked about how awesome Impact was last week. Hogan said he knows all about being World champion, but to be TNA World champion at this point in time, may be greater than anything he knows. He said that with the new Top 10 ranking system being implemented, RVD is going to have a big target on his back. He said that last week when he watched RVD against Hardy, he was on the edge of his seat. Hogan was in such a good mood, he even called A.J. Styles one of the top wrestlers in the company and of all-time. The crowd played along gave Styles fake heat. Hogan said regardless of his actions of late, he is a great talent. Hogan then gave a very enthusiastic introduction to the new TNA champion, Rob Van Dam. Another really strong, focused promo from Hogan.

Rob Van Dam came out with the title around his waist. The crowd gave him a huge reaction. Hogan was really getting behind Van Dam as well, doing his finger point, shouting his initials, and clapping. You think even just a few years ago Van Dam ever thought he'd see this day? I doubt it.
RVD said he came to TNA because he knew management would let him just be Rob Van Dam. "And look where that got us," RVD said over "R-V-D" chants. Van Dam then addressed his detractors in the WWE, saying that 'some people' are never going to understand his connection with the fans or to "mother earth's finest." He said they don't understand how he can be a "cool, laid-back dude" and still kick ass. RVD said you don't have to understand what it's like to be RVD, but he's the best at what he does and from this day forward, he will continue to be the greatest World champion TNA has ever had. Good promo.

Van Dam thought his music was going to play, but A.J. Styles's music played instead. Styles came out alone first, wearing a plain black t-shirt, no jewelry or sunglasses. Sadly, this didn't signal the end of his Nature Boy gimmick, as Flair eventually followed behind him. Styles asked Hogan if he finished yet. The crowd was chanting, "ex-World champ" at Styles. Styles said RVD's is right, and that millions of people don't get RVD because he's a 'hippy-freak' from Southern California. Styles then took issue with RVD calling himself the greatest, and then said, "Are you high, right now?" The crowd went "Yes!" and Van Dam laughed. Styles said RVD 'must be high' because he was on the verge of beating him before he slipped on the top rope and thus RVD became World champ. No big deal. The crowd booed. He said now he's stuck in a tag match tonight when he should be getting his title re-match. Styles said he is fine with that he's getting his re-match when he wants it, so "stick that in your pipe and smoke it."

Flair then got on the microphone and directed his words at Hogan. Flair said Hogan may have a 'new deal with God,' but by god, he's Ric Flair, and he doesn't personally care about RVD's lifestyle. He said he had an issue with Hogan on where they are and where they're going to "end up." He told Hogan how much he hated Abyss having the Hall Of Fame ring, and how he was going to get revenge for the scars he had all over his head. His head looked absolutely disgusting here when they showed it in a certain lighting. Flair said he's going to walk that aisle, style and profile, to be the man you gotta beat the man, wooooo, the whole deal. Flair's music hit and he stormed out of the ring with Styles as Hogan held back RVD, who smirked at all of this.

-The Beautiful People were backstage, having a lengthily conversation about Madison Rayne's upcoming match. Lacey acted ditzy. Velvet kept tapping Lacey in the chest with the riding crop. They didn't seem to know whether to look at the camera, or completely ignore it. They settled on ignoring it, despite it being inches from their faces.

[Q2]

-A video package aired focusing on the Tara-Angelina Love feud, which began with the whole Lockbox Challenge nonsense, when Angelina won Tara's title unfairly in a box, and continued with Tara's attack at Lockdown.

1 -- Knockouts champion MADISON RAYNE vs. ANGELINA LOVE vs. TARA -- Knockouts Title match

Angelina Love and Tara teased tension early on. The referred sent Lacey and Velvet to the back, which upset them. There was a commercial break as the match begun, in what is becoming an Impact trademark. But hey, if they were going to take one, best to do it here.

[Q3]

We picked up with Angelina Love beating up Rayne. Tara came back in and knocked Angelina out of the ring. Then, Angelina was down for a while as the other two went at it. Such is the weird dynamic of Triple Threat matches when they aren't booked very concisely. Tara did this suplex into a guillotine choke. Rayne appeared to be tapping out, I guess because Tara was legit choking her out with it. Referee ignored it. Angelina finally got up and fired up, beating everyone up. Tara got up and immediately hit Love with the Widow's Peak. Apparently Love was injured during this, but it was hard to tell when. It may have came when Tara stalked Love, waiting for her to get up, and Rayne pushed her into Tara, who fell to the floor. Rayne then came from behind and got the pinfall on Love with the cradle.

WINNER: Madison Rayne at 6:00 to retain the Knockouts Title.

Star Rating: *1/4 - For a clean finish, effort, and not too many botched moves.

-Tara and Angelina Love had a big pull-apart brawl after, which was infinitely better than the match itself.
　
[Q3]

-TNA X Division Champion Kazarian came out without the title belt. Tenay and Taz acknowledged it and said Douglas Williams still had possession of it. They said that Williams would be on Impact next week to forfeit the title. Really hoping they figure out some kind of angle with Williams where he doesn't give up the title belt to Kazarian, possibly leading to a ladder match (where the stipulation would actually make sense).

2 -- X Division champion KAZARIAN vs. SHANNON MOORE -- X Division Title match

Tenay and Taz were going back and fourth about whether it was fair to strip Douglas Williams of the title for something he had no control over. It's refreshing when a promotion isn't too insecure about their product to allow dissenting voices on commentary. I'd say Douglas Williams has a pretty strong case, personally. After about a minute, the ref was bumped (barely), then Shannon went up top, but Kazarian dropped Moore with a leaping enziguiri kick that looked to have missed, but it was hard to tell due to the late camera cut. Get rid of that production director, for goodness sake. Kazarian went up top, but Moore shoved him to the mat. Moore then stood on the top, but Matt Morgan came to ringside and shoved Shannon off the top rope to the floor for disrespecting him the previous week. Ref was playing dead. Morgan rolled Moore. They made sure to get over that the baby face Kazarian didn't see the interference, so that he didn't look like an opportunist when he finished Moore off shortly thereafter. On his way out, Morgan said into the camera "nobody turns US down!"

WINNER: Kazarian at 5:00
Star Rating: *1/2

[Q4]

-After Morgan left, Samoa Joe's music hit and out came Joe. He got in the ring and stared Kazarian down. Apparently they are positioning him as a heel, because Kazarian turned his head and Joe kicked him. Joe then assaulted Kazarian in the corner, and finished with a muscle-buster. He huffed and puffed, and gave a looonnggg stare into the camera. I wouldn't go as far as calling this a step back after last week, but definitely a side-step. I didn't take this as meaning Joe will be competing in the X Division, I took it as simply being a random beat down.
　
-After a commercial, Abyss was in the dark, giving some comments on his upcoming match with Flair. He made it clear that he knows it doesn't have "magical powers," which was a direct response to all of you people who have been poking fun at the whole "ring" gimmick. He did say it inspired him, and he would beat Flair later on. I thought this was one of his better promos.

-Matt Morgan was talking to Jesse Neal in the usual backstage shot, about defending the tag titles with him tonight. Morgan is becoming very entertaining with this "we" thing. Morgan tried his best at putting over Jesse Neal, but the best he could come up with was "I mean come on, you're Jesse Neal…" Jesse said he saw what happened to Amazing Red, and refused. Morgan told this tag title belt is his gold ticket to fulfilling that promise to his fallen comrades in the military. "WE don't want anyone else, WE want you," he told Neal. He told Neal to think with his heart, and left it at that.

-Before a commercial break, they plugged Jarrett & Hardy vs. Sting & Styles coming up next, as the 1st hour main event.

-After the break, A.J. Styles was the first participant to make his entrance. It was announced as No DQ, Falls Count Anywhere. Why was this the stipulation? Because they needed it for the finish they came up with. That is lazy booking, but it happens. Tenay and Taz revisited their "Does Sting owe the people an answer?" debate. "Icon" Sting came out next. Whatever happened to the "Man Called" nickname? Apparently somewhere along the line, (within the past few years) Sting became an "Icon," which apparently means he can do things like wrestle in a t-shirt, stand-up garbage brawl, over-rely on a prop, be unable to cut promos, and still remain one of the highest-paid and pushed wrestlers in the promotion. Jeff Jarrett and Hardy then came out individually.

[Q5 -- 2ND HOUR]

3 -- JEFF JARRETT & JEFF HARDY vs. STING & A.J. STYLES -- Falls Count Anywhere match

The match immediately spilled to the floor (who didn't see this coming?) so that Jarrett and Sting could treat us to some more lame stand-up brawling. Styles and Hardy were doing same the outside the ring brawling, but somehow they managed to make it looked athletic.
　
Jarrett hit Sting in the back with a chair for a near-fall. They had two referee's running around for this. Why? They needed it for the finish they came up with. According to Tenay, Sting and Jarrett will face each other at the Sacrifice pay-per-view. Maybe it's just me, but I have no interest in seeing those two wrestle on PPV. Eventually the wrestlers got in the ring, it turned into a standard tag match, with Sting and Jarrett in there. Styles and Hardy got tagged in, and Hardy fired away at Styles. Sting apparently had enough of this standard wrestling, and just walked right out of the ring. He walked up the entrance ramp to the back. Jarrett left the ring and walked after Sting. Sting was apparently going back up the rafters. They brawled. Meanwhile, Jeff Hardy had a ladder on the stage, and put Styles on a table. Stay with this! They cut back to Sting and Jarrett phoning it in. Sting started working Jarrett over with the stupid rubber bat. He jabbed him in the stomach, then just totally shattered any sense of realism by raising it over his head and hitting Jarrett full force on the back with the BASEBALL BAT. Sting covered Jarrett on the stairwell for the win. Buzz kill. The bell rang, and Hardy was atop the ladder looking confused. Slick Johnson pulled A.J. off the table, and Hardy was left standing on top of the ladder. Double buzz kill.

WINNERS: Sting & Styles at 7:00.

Star Rating: * - I was tempted to give my first official 'DUD' here, but I was feeling generous. A bad match, to be sure.

-Jesse Neal was sitting down in the locker room with Team 3D in the "Reaction" setting as Devon was taping up and Ray playing on his cell phone. This really felt like we were privy to a real backstage conversation. Neal was asking Team 3D for their blessing to be Morgan's partner. Ray told Neal he was fine with it, and to bring his best, because they are going to bring it harder than they've ever brought before, since Neal is their protégé.

-After the break, Pope Dinero came out wearing a sling and an eye patch, selling both his real and fake injury. The Pope came out as Tenay talked about Pope not being on Impact last week following the battle with A.J. Styles at Lockdown two Sundays ago. Taz talked up Pope's injury situation as money fell down on Pope on the way to the ring. Pope was selling to the pen to his eye from Styles with the eye patch. He said Styles is nothing more than a 'gas bubble' in his stomach.

[Q6]

Pope said he might not have the gold right now and A.J. doesn't have the gold either, but he hasn't forgotten about Styles. Pope talked about the gospel saying that it's a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye; so he isn't done with Styles yet. Pope went into full preacher mode. He asked the crowd to "Amen," but it got a lackluster response to that. Pope said despite his loss at Lockdown, his 'congregation' is still representing. He asked for an "Amen" again, and even fewer people responded. Crowd was into cheering Pope, but not into saying "Amen" for whatever reason. Pope was ready to call it a promo, but he was interrupted. Can anyone just finish a promo and leave? In this rare case though, all was fine, because he was interrupted by none other than Mr. Anderson. This has the potential to be a good feud. He looked to have his fingers inside of the Pope's eyeball.

Anderson made his way to the ring as Taz said Anderson had a Match of the Year candidate with Kurt Angle at Lockdown. Not an exaggeration. In the ring, Anderson said he's going to start calling Pope "the Kool-Aid man," not as in the Kool-Aid mascot, but as in former Cult Leader Jim Jones. (Paul Heyman would have probably been a better reference to this crowd.) Anderson said knows where Pope is coming from, and he knows that the fans are gullible. Anderson mockingly asked Pope if he was "okay," and if he had a "boo-boo." He said Kurt Angle got a boo-boo at Lockdown, and he's at home licking his wounds and nursing his injuries. Anderson was taking a long time to make his point, as he often does. Pope surprised Anderson and told him to hurry up and get to the point or "shut the hell up." Anderson then went right back to where he left off. He asked Pope if he's going to 'take his testicles' out of his 'mom's purse' and face him at Sacrifice. Anderson asked Pope for an 'Amen,' or if he was too chicken. Pope thought it over as the crowd chanted him on.
Anderson kept doing these annoying chicken noises over, and over, and over. Pope said despite his injury, his 'pimp hand' was still strong, so he backhanded Anderson. Anderson then got the better of Pope, and immediately tried to re-injure the eye by jamming his finger in it. Anderson backed off Pope as Taz put over how good Anderson is at getting under people's skin, and how Pope fell for the trap. Anderson is the most effective heel in TNA, bar none. Another instance of TNA letting two guys go out there and play off each other with loose guidelines. It was also a good way for Anderson to get himself right back in the mix after the Angle feud.

-After a commercial break, Team 3D's music played, but they didn't come out. Suddenly, TNA cut backstage where Team 3D was standing over a bloody and unconscious Sean Waltman. He was bleeding from the mouth and there was a puddle on the ground. Ray screamed at Waltman he never should have come back, and that this was a message to his boys Hall and Nash. Team 3D then left him lying. No exaggeration, he looked like he was dead or dying. I don't know if the Wolfpack did anything to quite warrant THAT, especially from two babyfaces. It would have been nice to go more than one week without a murder attempt.

4 -- TNA tag team champion MATT MORGAN & JESSE NEAL vs. TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON) -- TNA Tag Title match

Team 3D finally made their way out. The few fans in the front row started a "Jesse Neal - yay! Matt Morgan - boo!" chant at the start of the match. How lame is that? About a minute into the match, The Wolfpack's music hit. Despite having the Wolfpack's entrance music play, the way TNA does anytime anyone "unexpectedly come out," for some reason this time they felt the need to have Tenay acknowledge that Hall and Nash asked for their music to play so that Team 3D "knew they were coming." The heels mind you. A fan had a "Last Call With Scott Hall" sign. No Bubba The Love Sponge, as they were all business. Hall and Nash went after Team 3D and they had a brawl on the ramp way. Neal ran to help Team 3D, but Morgan grabbed him and threw him back into the ring, where he destroyed him. Morgan then took the tag title belts and stood over Neal's body.

WINNERS: No Contest at 2:00.

[Q7]

-Neal got a microphone and started yelling at Morgan to get back in the ring. He kept on yelling, but Morgan didn't come out. Even Team 3D was trying to shut him up. Channeling Abyss, Neal said to Morgan that he was going to "KICK…..YOUR….ASSSSSS!!!! Ahhh!" Backstage, Christy Hemme ran to Morgan to tell him Neal is yelling for him. "Who?" Morgan dead-panned. I thought Morgan was just going to walk off, which would have been awesome, but on his way out, he was cut off by Hulk Hogan, who told him he could either deal with Neal or deal with him. Morgan IMMEDIATELY walked backwards to deal with Neal. That was funny as well. Team 3D told Neal that they were going to let him deal with this on his own. Morgan got in the ring and begged off, then hit Neal when he fell for it. Morgan blasted Neal with the tag title belt. Shannon Moore's music hit and he ran out to save Neal. Moore dropkicked Morgan out of the ring. Moore and Neal bonded over having Mohawks, and held each other's hand up. This was unfortunate as the focus here should have been putting Morgan above everyone involved here.

-Eric Bischoff, looking directly into the camera at the viewers, was ready to explain his new TNA ranking system. He said it's something that has never been done before in "sports entertainment." Why use that line if every wrestling fan hates it, after decades it still hasn't stuck with non-wrestling fans yet, and you aren't forced to? Anyway, Bischoff said they're going to let the fans help them determine the Top 10 rankings. Bischoff told the audience to go to TNA's website to vote on who deserves to receive a title shot. Bischoff told the fans to vote early and often. Jay Lethal came into the office as Black Machismo, shouting out suggestions for his top 10 rankings, with names such as Andre The Giant ("he's real big, yeah!"), Koko B. Ware, and the Red Rooster. Impact then cut to a commercial as he was in mid sentence, which was funny. I was expecting more from the rankings announcement though. I guess they have the upcoming weeks to actually go about DISPLAYING the rankings on television, changing them based on wins and losses (and votes), which is what will really make them end up mattering in the end. Thankfully, there were many more details about the rankings on the website, and Bischoff just stuck to getting across the "fan involvement" aspect. I don't think they realize that even without fan involvement, just having a basic rankings system actually be a factor in a pro wrestling promotion would be pretty revolutionary in it's own right. No need for gimmicks.

-Orlando Jordan was backstage, almost naked, covered only by a multi-colored skirt. Orlando Jordan talked about being an expression of his art. He said that he has been stalking Rob Terry because he is so impressed by his power moves. He claimed that Rob Terry will be on his talk show dubbed "The O Zone" next week. He said that it will be delicious. That has the potential to be epically bad, for several reasons.

-Ric Flair was shown talking in the "Reaction" style camera, talking about coming out of retirement for a singles match. Flair talked very quietly about Abyss being a joke and disrespecting the Hall Of Fame ring. He was talking so quietly that they actually used subtitles, although I heard him fine. Flair said that's the bottom line, and he's been saying that since before Stone Cold Steve Austin. Flair looked and sounded very old here, but the content of the promo was good.

[Q8]

-After a commercial, a cameraman found Kevin Nash and Scott Hall in the hallway. It was the same guy who was pestering Flair the other week. I love when they do the pesky camera guy bit. He asked a totally distraught Nash for thoughts on what's going on here. Hall tried to calm down Nash as they went to check on Pac. The camera guy wouldn't leave or keep quiet, though. He kept asking questions. The camera guy was being a total pest. Hall was dumbfounded that even after threats of violence this guy wouldn't leave them alone. Hall in particular was great here, but Nash was very passionate as well. Nash promised they were going to replace Pac with someone sooner rather than later.

5 -- ABYSS vs. RIC FLAIR --

Flair came out first, I guess because Abyss is the ring holder? I'm not a big fan of having this as the main event, and to close Impact. They locked up and Abyss shoved Flair backward, just like Hogan did in every single Hogan-Flair match ever. I'm beyond tired of seeing these Flair spots that were repetitive a decade ago. Tenay and Taz were trying to talk about anything but this match. Abyss back-dropped poor Flair, who is still required to bump for big stiffs at his advanced age. They ended up on the outside where Abyss pounded Flair against the guardrails. Flair started bleeding. Flair has probably bled more times in TNA than he did the entire previous decade. By the time he went back in the ring, his entire face was red. I have no problem with blood, but I'm not particularly into watching Flair bleed every time he's on television. In an act of desperation, Flair kicked Hebner in the groin. Flair then pulled out brass knucks and hit Abyss, but shockingly, Abyss shook it off. Flair begged off, then smashed him low with the brass knucks. Flair then made a cover and Hebner counted the pinfall.

Shortly thereafter, Hebner saw the brass knucks and waved off the match finish. Hebner called for a restart. Flair pushed Hebner, and Hebner shoved him back much harder than Flair shoved him. This seemed to catch Flair by surprise, and he shoved Hebner real hard. So then Hebner shoved him back. Meanwhile Abyss starting hulking up, hit the Black Hole Slam on Flair for the pinfall and official victory. So, now, Abyss gets Flair's Hall of Fame ring or whatever. Hogan then stomped out to the ring and embraced Abyss. Taz called THIS the greatest victory in Abyss's career. I realize he was putting over Flair's stature by saying that, but that is absurd. He beat a 60-something year old after a match restart.

WINNER: Abyss at 5:00.

Star Rating: *1/4

-After the match, Hogan came out to add to poor Flair's humiliation, and literally take the Hall of Fame ring right off his finger. Flair looked on bloody and bewildered. Hogan and Abyss touched rings. Hogan said that next week, he knew exactly who he would give Flair's ring to. I'm going to go out on a limb right now and say his other little buddy, Jay Lethal.

POST-SHOW THOUGHTS

-The Abyss-Flair main event was definitely not a great way to end the show. I don't see how any baby face looks good beating up Ric Flair at this point. Aside from being "an old guy," he's also one of the most beloved figures in wrestling history. Combine the two, and they could actually generate some real sympathy for Flair if they feuded him with an up and coming heel. The best option in my opinion though would be to keep Flair out of the ring all-together, and save the guy from himself.

-So, one of the stories coming out of the conclusion of this weeks Impact was that Hulk Hogan now has possession of Ric Flair's Hall of Fame ring, after Abyss defeated Flair. I was hoping this would be the end over the hall of fame ring feud, but Hogan announced that he would be presenting the ring to a surprise wrestler the next week.
　
WHAT WORKED

-Opening Segment: I thought everyone involved looked good here. One of the best things about TNA is when they just let guys go out in the ring, ad-lib, and play off each other on the microphone. I think that's something that's really been missing for wrestling for quite some time now with how WWE scripts promos, and for the past few years in TNA where Vince Russo has tried to impose his writing on every aspect of the show.

- Anderson/Pope confrontation: To me, this is what builds interest in an eventual pay-per-view match. These guys had a good back-and-fourth banter, then Anderson did his damage, and left. Well done.

-TNA 'Reaction' style segments: For a second consecutive week, these continued to be the highlight of the "outside of the ring" portion of Impact. These segments have been such a breath of fresh air that when the Beautiful People were shown talking to each other in front of the "invisible" camera inches from their face, it really stood out. The "Reaction" shots are also a great way to differentiate TNA from WWE, which hasn't experimented with or innovated many new things in the past decade from a production standpoint.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK

- Ric Flair wrestling in the main event: This didn't work, and hasn't worked since he has been in TNA for several reasons. After defying father time for over a decade, his age is becoming a real issue in his look and in his wrestling. Second, he is completely miscast as a heel at this point in his career. No one wants to see Ric Flair get beat up. I sure don't, and I particularly don't need to see him bleeding like stuck pig either. I don't think Flair needs to do much more than Hogan does at this point in his career, but being Ric Flair, of course he will.

- Sting-Jarrett feud: I sense that interest in this feud and interest in Sting's explanation is fading by the week each time they touch and each time they do the lame stand-up brawls. It's not like the pay-per-view match will be much different. If they keep up this same pace, the momentum for this match at Sacrifice is going to be at rock bottom.

Thanks to everyone who has given me feedback on my Impact reports. As always, let me know what you thought with an email to nick.dachino@yahoo.com. Thanks for reading.

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