By Jon Mezzera, Torch Specialist

IMPACT HITS

Jeremy Borash: Jeremy Borash is usually Hit or Miss with me, but this week he was a definite Hit. What can I say? He made me laugh. His look of shock and attempt to point out the hypocrisy of Brother Ray’s statements about Britney Spears being fat was hilarious. His interaction with Kurt Angle while Angle was looking for Sting was very funny. The problem was that Kurt was trying to be funny too. TNA should have left the comedy to Borash and let Angle concentrate on actually being focused and serious with his feud with Sting.

Kevin Nash and Sting: While neither Sting nor Nash should be featured heavily at this point in their careers (unless Nash takes over for Don West as the color commentator), and while TNA should not bring up glory days from other organizations, I have to admit to being intrigued by the interchange between Sting and Nash. Nash’s motives have never been clear in his TNA career, whether it be in his dealings with the X-Division, or now with Angle in his Dr. Nash gimmick. But this at least seemed to be laying the groundwork for what could be a meaningful change to Nash’s character. I particularly liked when Sting told him not to lose his edge.

Homicide [photo by Wade Keller (c) PWTorch]

Homicide: I feel bad for this guy. He did everything he could to make an otherwise Miss-worthy Main Event watchable. And of course, in the end he took the loss. He really looked good in dishing out some high energy and good offense, while selling for most of the match. Seriously, he seemed to be the legal man for his team for 90% of the match. He took bumps, he delivered some good moves, and he did a very good job of selling the Ankle Lock. Kurt Angle didn’t seem to play enough of a roll to help the match. Team 3D was Team 3D. Fatu was Fatu (which means slow and sloppy). The announcers were bad (when Homicide hit a Tornado DDT on Brother Devon, Mike Tenay claimed that he had just walked into a slam by Devon, and never corrected himself). But Homicide had a very good performance that is worth mentioning. And he was solid on the mic as well.

IMPACT MISSES

Jay Lethal vs. Havok: This match embodied so much of what is wrong with TNA. First of all, it was an X-Division match that only went 3 minutes. Second of all, instead of letting the X-Division Champion shine in the match, Havok got in as much offense as Jay Lethal. In fact, he kicked out right after the 3 count, basically no selling Lethal’s finisher. If his finisher is barely enough to keep Havok down, how are we supposed to take it as a serious threat to Christopher Daniels? TNA has to have everyone save face in every match. And third, it once again pointed out how bad the announcers are. After Havok hit a confusing looking move on Lethal, Don West claimed that Lethal had made a great counter. But he hadn’t. This was a bad match, and not a good way to sell the X-Division Champion.

The Angles: So once again, there is trouble in paradise. Kurt and Karen Angle are arguing again. They have such an up and down marriage, it is unbelievable. I got tired of hearing them bicker in their in ring segment. It turns out that Kurt told Karen to pretend to be slapped by Sting. So I guess that means Kurt really didn’t want to be Tag Team Champion since he was behind the plot that led to him losing the Title. That made no sense. Then how were Kurt, West, and Tenay the only people on the planet who actually thought it was Sting and not a dummy that came down from the rafters? And was I the only one who knew that one of the Latino Nation was actually Sting? I can’t be. This is back to back bad weeks for Angle.

XXX vs. Team Pacman: This was a terrible terrible terrible match. First of all, the whole Pacman Jones situation as being a wrestler who isn’t allowed to wrestle is ridiculous. TNA can’t keep this farce going (I hope). Everyone knows he won’t be involved in any physicality, so there is no suspense to the match. Shouldn’t throwing an illegal object into your opponent’s genitals be a disqualification? It is the same as a low blow which is. And it was just embarrassing being a wrestling fan to watch Jones make it rain money. TNA should be ashamed of themselves. That was beyond tasteless. I could go on, but it isn’t even worth my time.

Sanjay Dutt: I have no problem featuring a wrestler like Sanjay Dutt in a vignette to show off his character to the fans. But why do it on the last Impact before Bound For Glory, when Dutt isn’t involved at the PPV? That makes it a waste of time. Save it for next week. That being said, it wasn’t really good in and of itself. Don West was ridiculous. I guess it was supposed to be funny, but it wasn’t. It didn’t make me want to buy the PPV, tune in next week to Impact, or keep from changing the channel, so it was a big Miss.

Chattin’ With the Champ: I have mixed feelings about giving Christian Cage a talk show. Part of me likes it, as he is great on the mic and there is potential for some good segments. The other part of me says that it is rehashing what he did in WWE, and TNA should be doing something original. But, this gets a Miss just for the execution. To give it a Samoan look, they made it look like Carlito’s Cabana. Then, Samoa Joe made fun of Christian for lacking his old wit (a good line), then he pointed out how cliché the coconut reference was. Then he referenced “Cheers”, a show that went off the air in 1993, so Joe should think twice about making fun of someone else for outdated references. Then the interview broke down into a back and forth argument that was boring as Christian kept repeating that he was trying to put their differences aside. After saying it several times, I wanted to yell at him to say something different. Then the fight happened, which worked o.k., but Matt Morgon’s presence was unneeded. The segment became what it had made fun of when it ended with a coconut to the head of the Samoan.

Raven & Black Reign vs. Rhino & Abyss: This was another terrible terrible match. First of all, why should we pay to see these guys in the same exact match on Sunday, when we just saw it for free? The only difference is that this was a tag match, and that will be every man for himself. Accept they screwed that up by having Black Reign and Raven fighting for no reason at all! And Abyss his the Black Hole Slam on his partner Rhino! A traditional tag match would have been much better here, as TNA could have given the fans hints at what the Monsters Ball match would be like, without actually giving them the same exact type of match. Abyss has to be the stupidest man alive for continuing to try to use thumbtacks since he always ends up in them. He’s like the wrestling version of Wile E. Coyote.

Censor: Why can TNA show a close-up of Abyss’ bloody face with thumbtacks sticking out if it, and yet nobody can say the word “ass” on Impact? It has always bothered me how much stuff gets bleeped on Impact, but this week seemed worse than usual. Maybe more guys said “ass” than usual, but they definitely said it a lot. And it got bleeped every time. With the bloody mess that Abyss turns out to be half the time, they can’t claim this is for children. So why bleep “ass” which you hear on t.v. all the time! Even on broadcast t.v.! Give me a break!

Jon Mezzera is PWTorch.com's Hitlist Specialist, providing his point of view in the Torch's hitlist format for Raw, Smackdown, ECW, and TNA Impact each week. Email him at jmezz-torch@sbcglobal.net.

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