By Jeremy Maes, PWTorch Specialist

Hello Maria,

You don’t know me, but I have seen your work on television for some time now and felt propelled to send you this. Wait; is this how a stalker letter starts? (Eric, is this how you start a stalker letter?) I see you have decided to try to further your career and take it all off for Playboy. I applaud you. I really do. This news makes me and the rest of the DEJ crew - hell, the majority of wrestling fans, very, very happy. See, we like naked women. I especially like seeing beautiful naked women, but really a nice pair of breast will compensate for average or below average looks. I can focus away from any negatives. Some people are ass lovers, I, happen to like a nice set of breasts as evidenced by my fascination with Traci Brooks, but enough about me.

Maria, I implore you to reconsider this decision. See I have watched wrestling long enough to know that this decision is not in your best interest. Yes, you may have already had the photo shoot, but it isn’t too late to talk with Vince and ask him to pull some strings and have this delayed a year or two if not until the end of your WWE career. See, you haven’t overstayed your welcome yet. You are a newbie in the business and it would be a shame to see your career end somewhere near the end of 2008 or, if you are lucky, the beginning of 2009.

Allow me to fill you in on some history. Have you heard of Chyna? Sable ring a bell? There was a certain someone named Christy Hemme? Any of these women sound familiar? They were at one time WWF/E divas. They all had a decent push behind them, Christy Hemme withstanding, and all crashed and burned after they were processed through the WWE/Playboy machine. Christy is still in wrestling for TNA for those of you who don’t know that TNA exists.

Yes, there were circumstances behind all of their respective career crashes. Ego was a big factor in all of this and this is what you will need to avoid if you plan on keeping your WWE job. You need to remember you got in Playboy due to the publicity department of WWE. Before you were doing Hawaiian Tropic or Hooter Girls contests, aww, it doesn’t matter really. What matters is the fact you were nowhere before WWE got a hold of you and turned you into a, well, you aren’t going to be a Playmate since you aren’t the centerfold so I guess that means you are just another chick, hardly famous by entertainment standards, who got naked in Playboy. If you are indeed a playmate, you join the elite ranks of Charisma Carpenter, Tiffany, Deborah Gibson, the girl from the American Pie movies, and some other women who inevitably realized it wasn’t exactly a career advancer.

This is the attitude you need to keep. This isn’t meant to demean you, quite the contrary. I am trying to empower you with the knowledge that without the WWE machine, you don’t matter. You heard from Sable lately? Seen Chyna in anything other than a home made... (I can’t bring myself to type it so nevermind), or a TMZ video where she is drunk or for that matter any sort of appearance where she is drunk? No, they don’t matter outside the wrestling industry and both forgot that. Now look at 'em, or better yet don’t look at 'em.

Torrie Wilson is a perfect example of this. Torrie has been in two separate spreads and she still maintains a job and has actually been pushed after her issues came out. She hasn’t gotten the same treatment as others because she understands she has no options in the outside world. She has seen all of the fame that came with her friend Stacy Kiebler and certainly knows that her options are limited. Yeah Stacy got her fifteen minutes by dancing in a show that forty-fifty-year-olds find delightful, but that has been it. Where are all of those TV pilots she was offered? Where is her new-found fame without the WWE machine?

Look, I know there are other women in WWE who have thankfully gotten naked. By this measure, though, I hope you get the point. Be a good girl and go about your business. The buzz of a being in Playboy subsides and then you are back to square one. You are back to being arm candy in WWE. If you have bigger goal, then god bless ya'. Take those headshots to different casting calls and make your way in Hollywood. Just remember, without the WWE machine behind you, the doors may not open as wide if at all.

Thanks for your time,
J-

Jeremy Maes is the "J" in the DEJ Audio Experience, found at PWTorch.com's VIP Audio Show section. He has been doing this for some time now, long enough that he can’t remember the start date. His famous words for all listeners have never changed “Don’t follow my path, son. Don’t follow my path.” Find him on the PWTorch.com VIP Message Board, or shoot him an e-mail at theaudioexperience@gmail.com

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