The Specialists
1/3 TNA Impact Hitlist: Rankings by Gauntlet, Brother Ray, PPV Hype
Jan 4, 2008 - 1:48:14 PM |
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By Jon Mezzera, Torch Specialist
IMPACT HITS
Brother Ray: Brother Ray made me laugh during his promo after Crystal refused to interview him, Brother Devon and Johnny Devine. His over the top performance in complaining about her leaving, complaining about the tag team division rankings, and describing Team 3D’s training for Ultimate X was hilarious.
James Storm’s Music: One of my favorite things in TNA is James Storm’s entrance music. Part of the reason I enjoy hearing it is the fact that Storm has been entertaining the last few months, so I am happy that he is coming out to the ring. He does a lot of little things that make me laugh (his Santa’s beard during the horrible Christmas episode should have gotten a Hit, but I was not in a giving mood because of how bad that show was). His description of the DCS was pretty funny this week, particularly when he admitted that he hadn’t come up with the second and third drinking games for it. The other part of the reason that I enjoy hearing his music, is that I just happen to really like the music itself. This week we got to hear it twice, once for Jackie Moore and then again for Storm, so that was a nice bonus.
Nothing Offensive: I have to hand it to TNA, nothing on this Impact was offensive, which should be the norm, but it isn’t. I shouldn’t have to give this a Hit, because it should just be the reality. I am giving it a Hit, because I was surprised after the last few weeks to not find any of the show offensive. No oral sex jokes? Wow!
IMPACT MISSES
Styles Family Home: The ridiculous pick a side storyline reached new lows this week with Jeremy Borash at AJ Styles’ grandmother’s home. As often happens when TNA has a series of “comedy” scenes in one location throughout an Impact (Thanksgiving dinner, or Eric Young’s Christmas party), the “comedy” falls flat. That was the case here. I won’t say that none of it was funny, because there were a few funny moments. But, the bad jokes outweighed the good ones. I have been a fan of AJ Styles’ goofy character as I have contended that it is helping him develop his mic and acting skills. At the same time, I have warned TNA about the long term effects that it might have on Styles’ ability to be taken seriously as a Main Event star, which clearly he has the ability to be. We have officially reached that point (if we hadn’t already). This is hurting him. He looks weak. He looks stupid. Top it off with having to pay to hear a decision we’ve been promised two straight weeks on free t.v., and you have a big Miss.
Rankings By Gauntlet: It is seldom a good idea to do multiple gimmick matches of any type on one show (I am leery of Raw Roulette), particularly when it is the same match four times. They get old after the second, and you have to sit through two more. In addition to that problem is that the premise of the gauntlet matches was so thin, confusing, and convoluted that I didn’t care about the outcomes. The whole concept of rankings in each division was stupid. If you are ranked higher than someone else after a gauntlet, what does that mean? Are you the #1 Contender for that title? No. Awesome Kong is now ranked #4 in the Knockout division, but will that matter a month from now? The gauntlets themselves were not very good. The tag team one had a ridiculous ending after the commercial, when they quickly recapped eliminations, and had a three count that I missed when I blinked. The Knockout gauntlet was o.k. The X-Division gauntlet had some nice action, but I was expecting it to be better given the talent involved. But, when the most talented X-Division guys are in other divisions (AJ Styles, Homicide, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Kaz), it waters down the rest of the field. The idea of the rankings going into the match made little sense as Petey Williams is the #1 Contender for the Heavyweight Championship, but was ranked at the bottom of the X-Division. Shark Boy was ranked higher! His bandages are just stupid. The ranking situation hurt this match by distracting from the action. The Heavyweight gauntlet was boring and raised many questions about who TNA thinks are the top wrestlers in the company. Black Reign and Rellik outlasted guys like Kaz, Abyss and Booker T. So Rellik, who has won one match, is ranked higher than former World Champions Abyss and Booker T. The end was bad with the referee indicating that Christian Cage was eliminated, only to have him award Christian the win a few seconds later. If he thought Christian was still in the match, why did he enter the ring to start the one-on-one part of the gauntlet?
Title Situations: This Miss is connected to the previous one as the title situations were already murky and have been made more so with the rankings that were determined by the gauntlets. Three of the divisions have #1 contenders after Feast or Fired, yet none of them gets a title shot at the PPV. Instead, there are two other challengers, neither of whom earned their shot, with the X-Division title not on the line (although maybe possession of the belt is?). The Heavyweight Title is on the line against Christian who didn’t earn the shot. Petey Williams has the title shot brief case, but is still considered to be in the X-Division, which makes very little sense. The X-Division Title is possessed by Team 3D, and Jay Lethal never has to defend it. Petey Williams is now ranked #1 in the X-Division, so he is sitting pretty. The Knockout division’s #1 contender, Awesome Kong better beat Gail Kim at the PPV, because she is now ranked #4 and will have to wait while three other women get their title shots. The Tag Team Title situation is the worst, as BJ James and a partner of his choosing should be getting an earned title shot. But they aren’t, because we have to get a long drawn out story about James scouting his potential partner, while Kip James gets mad. The Motor City Machine Guns earned the #1 ranking in the division by winning the gauntlet, so they should be getting a title shot, I think. But, they aren’t. Instead, Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash are getting it, despite the fact that they don’t want to be partners. This makes no sense at all. The title situations were bad to begin with, and these rankings make them worse.
Where’s the PPV Hype?: If TNA insisted on having these gauntlets to determine rankings, why not wait and do it next week after the PPV? That would accomplish two things. One, it would clear up some of the murkiness in the title situations, as the title matches discussed above would have already happened. You would only have the Feast or Fired winners as #1 contenders, not them plus the guys getting the title shots at the PPV. More importantly, by not focusing this week’s Impact on the rankings, TNA could have actually focused on hyping the PPV, which they did a very poor job of doing. Other than listing the matches, they did nothing to make me want to see any of them. This was just a bad final sell for the PPV.
Jon Mezzera is PWTorch.com's Hitlist Specialist, providing his point of view in the Torch's hitlist format for Raw, Smackdown, ECW, and TNA Impact each week. Email him at jmezz-torch@sbcglobal.net.
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