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LOGIC CHECK - IMPACT: Keeping tabs on what made sense, what tested suspension of disbelief, and what was just ridiculous

Aug 15, 2008 - 4:25:52 PM
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By Alex Dunn, PWTorch Specialist

Greetings Torch patrons and welcome once again to the Logic Check, your one stop shop for all things rational. Today I've got my sights set on TNA's latest contribution to professional wrestling history; so pull up some natio furniture, kick back and let's take a trip to the Impact Zone...

Michael Phelps is unimpressed...

Last night's Gold Medal Challenge was a smooth transition to the next stage of the Angle-A.J. fued after their Last Man Standing match. Kurt would want to humiliate his hated rival by challenging him to a match that Angle truly believed A.J. couldn't win and there is only one thing that Kurt Angle, at in his own mind anyway, does better than anyone else. So the ropes came down and we were treated to an amateur wrestling exhibition on our professional wrestling show. Angle was excellent with his attention to nuance. Cocky and playful as he went up 6-0 but when A.J. scored 4 quick points, his demeanor changed and he started to take A.J. more seriously. Angle then made it 8-4 and he went right back to being cocky which is consistent with his pompous, alpha male persona (Sorry, Monty). Styles's reaction to "winning" the gold medal was also a nice touch.

Thoughts:   At least the gold medal wasn't on a pole. I was never really a fan of the Gold Medal Challenge but I'm enjoying this feud so it served it's purpose as a segue to whatever they have planned next. Angle didn't really have to exert himself physically in this match, at least by his standards, so hopefully he can stay healthy and we can see this fued through to it's conclusion.

Ambiguity, thy name is Sting...
 
Another night come and gone with no explanation from TNA's resident man of mystery.  Apparently, Mr Voiceover knows Sting's motivation because he painted the picture of Sting seeking retribution during the video package on this whole situation. We also got to see exclusive footage from Hard Justice where Kevin Nash tried to get some answers from the Stinger. Being dark and mysterious, obviously Sting wasn't going to come out and say it, so he danced around it with vague statements about biological clocks and patience. 
 
Thoughts:    I believe this angle is leading up to Sting revealing that what he is trying to do is save the souls of TNA's babyfaces by stopping them from commiting acts of "evil." If that's the case, why wouldn't he just come out and say it? Why did he choose A.J. instead of his previous target, Joe, you know, the one "he's" been tormenting for the last 4 weeks? I think this entire angle is stupid and a waste of Sting's talents.
  
Three's Company:

It was revealed, on Karen's Angle, that the Beautiful People have hired Rockabilly to be their personal stylist. Yes, you read that right. Angelina Love and Velvet Sky will now be getting their fashion/style advice from a man who wrestles in the pink elastic equivalent of Daisy Dukes.

Thoughts:   The Beautiful People are one of my favorite acts in TNA right now because they are both so ridiculously believable in their roles. The best heels are the ones who remind us of someone that we can't stand and both ladies are the embodiment of the spoiled, conceited rich brats that everyone loves to hate. It's unfortunate that creative decided to saddle them with the charisma vortex that is Kip James because they don't need him. For the life of me, I will never understand why TNA, who knows their target demographic, would waste valuable camera time zooming in on the ass of a guy in pink shorts. At least it wasn't "Bad" Pun Johnson.

So, does that make Homicide his Jimmy Olsen?

"SuperMex" Hernandez made his presence felt last night in the Zona de Impact as he was really on top of his game. Whether it was his superb performance during LAX's promo or the way he rushed to the ring, ripping off his LAX gear, looking for a fight, Hernandez was believable to the point where I was almost fearing for Beer Money's health. At least until after Hernandez won, as he then lapsed into showman mode, playing to the camera and standing on the ropes, looking for cheers.

< b> Thoughts:   I think that the finish of Joe/Nash vs Team 3D would have been better suited for this match. Hernandez wins but he's so enraged about what Beer Money did to his brother Homicide that he just rains destruction down upon them until the match decision is reversed and security has to come down to pull him off. Hernandez also showed that he is a huge untapped resource as a singles star so that's something to look forward to once LAX has run it's course.

An Austin Watson by any other name...
 
Consequences Creed was the subject of TNA Rough Cut, last night, and the segment did a wonderful job of revealing a bit more about what drives the big haired, US Code breaking wrestler.* The high school footage and the comments from his long time friend Brandon really set up Creed as the classic underdog babyface who is defying the odds just by being on the roster. Also, it always good to hear from guys who only wanted to be wrestlers growing up.

Thoughts:   Creed is a promising rookie and he certainly has charisma to spare; however, I can't help but think that there are other wrestlers on the TNA roster, with more tenure, who are more deserving of a push.
 
Logistical Ruminations:
 
- I wonder if Matt Morgan and Abyss stand backstage and just roar at each other. 
 
- Can we please go somewhere with this Rock & Rave Infection gimmick? Week in and week out, it's the same schtick. It was amusing the first couple of weeks but now it's just boring. And that's pretty damn hard to say about Christy Hemme.
 
- Speaking of Christy Hemme, I'm sure she woke up with a sore crotch this morning. Not like that, you pervs.
 
- Matt Morgan is progressing fine as a character but he is just so bland in the ring. I do dig the Hellevator though.
 
- Call me crazy but I think a Middle Eastern Nightmare would be a US invasion.
 
- TNA should fire the referee from last night's main event. When the ref was bumped, Angle wasn't bleeding. After the ref got up, Angle was gushing from the head and there were pieces of wood all over the ring but the ref was unable to recognize what any sensible person would conclude to be suspicious.

- Jim Cornette should not be relegated to a brief promo that was joined mid-progress. The guy is one of the greatest talkers of all time and he is also one of the most credible people in the wrestling business. Show him some more respect.
 
- This Sonjay/Lethal feud needs to hurry up and end. Nobody is going to come out of it looking any stronger than they did before it started.
 
- Does this sound redundant to anyone else? "Hailing from American Samoa, he is the Samoan Submission Machine...Samoa Joe!!!!!"
 
- I saw my new my favorite wrestling sign last night. It was at Hard Justice and it read: "Joe Doesn't Fear of Anybody."
 
- It sure was nice for TNA to show us the finishes of most of the matches from Hard Justice. Now I don't have to order the replay.
 
- Looking at the graphic for the Bound for Glory main event, my pics for Joe's challengers are Booker T, Kurt Angle and A.J. Styles.
 
VERDICT: Another solid wrestling show from TNA that began the set-up for Bound for Glory. Everything moved along at it's usual frenetic pace but there wasn't anything too ridiculous or asinine.
 
Score: 6.0
 
(*US Code, Title 4, Chapter 1, Section 8 to be precise)
 
That's all for this edition of the Logic Check so join me on Saturday as I take my first look at Friday Night Smackdown. Also, I'm devising a new scoring system based on logic and believablity which I will unveil during the next RAW edition. 
 
Got a comment? A difference of opinion? Something you'd like to see in the column?  Drop me a line at adunn.torch@gmail.com.
 
ABOUT ME:
 
I'm a 20 year wrestling fan who resides in Dallas, TX and I know that's not Bigfoot.


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