By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

Cyber Sunday. Um, yeah. Well, we will try our best to get excited about this PPV. The question will always arise if Cyber Sunday is a scam. I would like to think that WWE actually does take the votes, but shapes it so that it does not matter what the fans vote. If the fans vote for Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy, Kozlov will still make an impact. Stone Cold as ref? Orton makes a run-in. And the choices that can be made by fans are not exactly mind-blowing awesome. So I am going to make some predictions for this PPV. I will probably be off in some assumptions. I also assumed that Raw and Smackdown were not going to become something resembling saturday morning cartoon shows.

Halloween Diva Costume Dressup

Something for the Divas to do. You kind of wish that somebody like Chyna, Sable, or Trish Stratus would come in and slap one of the girls silly. Prepare for a lot of one-liners by Lawler. I can remember some of his now: "Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they are the closet thing to it.", "Trevor Murdoch is so slow, if Trevor Murdoch was in a race with a pregnant woman, he would come in 3rd", and, of course, "Puppies!". "I got to tell you, Micheal Cole, that I would give these divas a standing ovation, but I am afraid that I can't really stand right now, if you know what I mean".

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Beside the standard reasons for getting excited about this bit, the women's division is still running in circles in meaningless feuds and being involved in fluffy bits. It works, but it is no Knockout division (the real one, not the "bimbo" one).

Shelton Benjamin vs. Festus For The U.S. Championship

The other two wrestlers, sorry, "performers" are R-Truth who so far has as much street cred as kids playing with LEGO bricks and MVP, who WWE seems destined to punish him till the end of time. And the fact that fans can log onto the website to watch it? Meh.

VERDICT: It's So Absurd It Makes Me Want To Cry

Nothing screams "importance" like having a Diva Costume bit be more important than a championship match.

Santino Marella vs. The Honky Tonk Man For IC Championship

I am guessing that it what will be the final choice. I cannot see anybody picking Golddust, and Rowdy Roddy Piper just had a bit back on Smackdown months ago. Love to see Santino drop the title in this one, but WWE seems determined to pretend that Santino is not even holding the IC belt.

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Santino gets taken to the limit in this one. Nah. A comedy match that will probably clock under two minutes. Santino will probably pick the win by sneaky means, but much kudos will be given if WWE actually shows they are aware and have Santino drop the belt. This way, the belt can be up for grabs, since there is nobody facing Santino for the IC belt nowadays. But this will probably not happen. Piper and Golddust might also make an appearance to beat up Santino (since doesn't WWE pay them to appear at the PPV anyways?)

The Priceless Team vs. CM Punk and Kofi Kingston For The Raw Tag Team Belts

The other two choices were Cryme Tyme versus JoMizzy (which will get some votes, but people want to see CM Punk and Kofi wrestle more than these guys). I am predicting that it will be under 5% for the text results for Jamie Noble/Mickie James vs. William Regal and Layla.

VERDICT: Very Absurd

Something is wrong when I honestly do not wish to see the Raw tag team champions wrestle. They need to make some kind of impact fast.

Kane vs. Mysterio In A No Holds Barred Match

I doubt that we will see 2 out of 3 falls, and Falls Count Anywhere does sound tempting, but I am guessing that the choice will be for weapons and whatnot. Kane seemingly does not care about Mysterio's mask anymore (why was that bit put in there in the first place?) but both of these guys have proven to have something click when they face off together.

VERDICT: A Little Absurd

This feud will pretty much continue on, although there is nothing wrong with that.

Undertaker vs. The Big Show In A Last Man Standing Match

I cannot imagine anyone picking the "knockout" match (what a horrible finish that would be for fans. Somebody gets knocked out and in a flash the match is over.). I Quit match is tempting but considering the lack of submission holds (or matches) that are focused on in the WWE, A "Last Man Standing" would probably be the choice here.

VERDICT: Not Absurd

Undertaker has been shown to be vulnerable, The Big Show is on a roll, and their previous match was impressive.

Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kozlov In A Triple Threat Match

Fans sure are not in entirely in love with Triple H, but if he faces Jeff Hardy again, well that is just No Mercy over again, but now just with the possibility of Kozlov messing things up. If Triple H just faces Kozlov, then that leaves Jeff Hardy out of the PPV. So I am guessing that the choice will be a triple threat match.

VERDICT: A Little Absurd

Kozlov is the great unknown. If he is in the match, fans have frankly not seen enough of him to know what he can do (thus, in this PPV he could be the highlight of the match with his crushing moves). Do not know what it means for Survivor Series, but perhaps Triple H can lead a team against a team lead by Chris Jericho (since I feel that Randy Orton will get in the mix with Batista and Cena will fight JBL for the number one contender spot. Just ideas)

ECW Championship Match: Matt Hardy vs. Evan Bourne

The other choices are Finlay and Mark Henry, but I cannot imagine anyone who actually votes in this thing go with the slow guys (Finlay, Henry) instead of the fast guy (Bourne). And even then Finlay and Henry can get involved somehow.

VERDICT: Very Absurd

Also unknown. When Bourne has great matches (like the one he had with Chavo Guerro), things look great. But for as impressive and high-flying moves Bourne can do, Bourne can also have clunky matches. It could be a great match or it could be an after-thought, because I do not know the chemistry that Matt Hardy and Bourne have.

Batista vs. Y2J With Stone Cold Steve Austin As Ref

Two prime suspects that might run in: Randy Orton and John Cena. Actually this one is a coin-flip to see who will win. Y2J can still lose without losing much heat (he can claim that the deck was stacked against him) and Big Dave can get the championship. The buildup for the match has been good so far, but I cannot see this match without having some run in of some kind (in this case, actually an interference will be most appreciated). Orton can side with Jericho. Orton could screw Jericho. For some reason I feel that they will not pull the trigger on Cena yet (if he is ready to go), since WWE tends to have video packages of somebody returning up the whazzoo (thus making Survivor Series a PPV to buy with the return of Cena).

Verdict: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Batista vs. Chris Jericho alone does not scream out a buy. Sadly, Chris Jericho has been portrayed as a sniveling, small bastard. Where is the cold-hearted veteran that will snap Batista's legs and laugh while he is doing it? So in that case I wish that their match will actually be a real contest (both get taken to the limit) but the special guest ref pretty much erases that notion.

Cyber Sunday Verdict: Very Absurd:: Frankly, there is a lot of unknown in this PPV. It could be great or it could be a stinker. I would not put it past WWE to "dog" this PPV and instead focus on Survivor Series. I am excited about Undertaker vs. Big Show, but everything else I am hesitant on.

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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