By Lee Stevens, PWTorch specialist

Thank you for taking the time to join me as we put Smackdown "Under The Microscope." This is not a recap of the show, it's a closer look at the action, the themes or things you may have missed about the broadcast.

Hey, look it's...never mind

Scotty Goldman started the show in the ring for the Battle Royale marking the first time in weeks that he...and he's eliminated.

This marked the former Colt Cabana's first televised appearance on Smackdown in nearly five months, although he is staying busy with his show "What's Crackin?'" on WWE's website.

I'm a loser baby

Vladimir Kozlov gets the "loser of the week" award, even though he was victorious in the Battle Royale. Kozlov qualified for the Elimination Chamber with his victory, despite losing his original EC qualifier in a Triple Threat match against Triple H and The Great Khali. He's not the only one to lose and then win as Kane dropped his qualifier to Kofi Kingston, only to earn a spot in the Elimination Chamber by delivering The Undertaker to Monday night's edition of Raw.

VPM

When Shelton Benjamin called out MVP as someone who couldn't deliver when it counted the most, he called on a local Indianapolis hero, referring to him as VPM, or Very Peyton Manning. He received the boos he wanted, but if you look closer, the Gold Standard was closer to the truth than the Indy fans would want to admit.

Manning is one of the most prolific passers during the NFL regular season and by most accounts, he is also a decent human being. In the postseason, his record is an unimpressive 7-8 and he's thrown 22 touchdowns and 17 interceptions in January. In those eight losses, the Colts averaged 13 points per game. Yes, he won a Super Bowl and even won the MVP award for the big game. Please remember that during that run, he threw three TD's and seven INT's. If Benjamin was only referring to when it counts the most, VPM may be accurate.

Shhh

Credit to whoever made the decision to send Hurricane Helms to the ring without his music. With a serious promo preceding the very serious confrontation with Matt Hardy, the last thing he needed was a catchy tune. Helms's music isn't as bad as some for breaking the mood ("I'm not a sexy boy would be close to the top"), but the moment needed a focused Helms without music and the silence worked. The elbows from Hardy certainly helped too.

The blueprint

The only bad bit of timing was when we were treated to a recap of the Owen Hart-Bret Hart feud from WrestleMania X which followed a Matt Hardy interview. I hope fans are willing to give Matt and Jeff time to succeed or fail on their own and not fall into the easy trap of comparing it to the Hart vs. Hart battles, which is a very solid example of how to have a brother turn on another.

The blue print

The other WrestleMania footage gave us a glimpse at WM2, including a rare shot of The Hart Foundation in black and light blue outfits, instead of their better known pink outfits. In the WM X video, Bret and Owen were in the traditional Hart family pink and black.

Something old and something new

As the WWE reflected back on past WrestleManias, they cut from Trish Stratus to The Fabulous Moolah. Then it was The Big Show and Andre the Giant only to be followed by Triple H and Hulk Hogan. I salute them for recognizing Hogan, despite past problems between The Hulkster and Vince McMahon, and I suppose The Game is a natural match for Hogan. Big Show and Andre made an easy combination with their size and most know that Show was billed as Andre's son when he debuted in WCW. I was a bit surprised at the Stratus/Moolah comparison. Stratus deserves the recognition, but I thought this would be a chance for the WWE to elevate one of the current Divas. I doubt any have earned the comparison, but I was still shocked that they didn't attempt to put someone on the current roster in that spot of the video.

In stores now

When we first saw the promo for the Starrcade DVD several weeks ago, it was shocking seeing wrestlers traditionally known for their time in NWA/WCW on a WWE show. On Friday, as I watched the footage another time, I realized that we've seen most of them before, just not exactly as they appear on the video. Vince McMahon is quite fond of repackaging someone when they enter his ring and this video features prime examples.

-- Dusty Rhodes was "The Common Man" complete with his polka-dotted trunks.
-- Harley Race was "The King," featuring a full robe and crown, only after he was "Handsome" Harley.
-- Ricky Steamboat took his "Dragon" nickname to the full extent, including blowing fire before his matches.
-- Lex Luger debuted in the WWF as "The Narcissist," arriving in the ring with a full-length mirror.

The only wrestler prominently featured on the commercial who wrestled on both sides, but still kept his basic identity was Ric Flair.

Get out the yearbooks

Thanks to the six-man tag match, we were able to hear some names not normally uttered on a WWE broadcast. After a successful double team effort, Jim Ross insisted that it was "shades of Demolition" and Tazz followed with "Ax and Smash." Yes, Ax and Smash are commonly known as Demolition, but let us not forget about Crush who joined the duo in 1990.

Continuing our theme from the Starrcade DVD, Demolition has its share of changes as the original duo was Bill Eadie and Randy Colley. Colley was replaced, reportedly because fans recognized him from his time as one of The Moondogs. Eadie had a past in the WWF too, but since it was as The Masked Superstar, there was little chance of recognition. Colley was replaced by Barry Darsow, whose career ranged from Russian sympathizer Krusher Kruschev to Repo Man. As for Crush, he later adopted a laid back island attitude as Kona Crush, a not-so-laid back attitude as an ally of Yokozuna and finally a spot in the Disciples of Apocalypse before leaving the WWF.

In the same tag match, The Brian Kendrick ushered in a Camel Clutch prompting the obvious Iron Sheik reference. Let us not forget that The Iron Sheik also entered the WWF ring as Colonel Mustafa during Sgt. Slaughter's famous heel turn in the early 1990s.

Take your time. We'll wait

Two minutes and 37 seconds. By my calculations, that is the time of The Undertaker's entrance, from the first note to the removal of his hat and the rolling back of the eyes. It still brings chills after all of these years. In comparison, Umaga beat Kung Fu Naki in about a minute and a half. It still brings chills after all of these years.

It's a big pole. It's a big, bad pole tonight

In the final tag team match of the evening, the announcers built up The Big Show's girth by comparing his weight of 441 pounds to about two or three telephone poles falling on you. According to www.powertrusion.com, a composite pole is the lightest on the market, with a typical 40 foot pole weighing about 368 pounds. Two of those poles would be 736 lbs., or just about a Yokozuna. Three would equal 1,104 lbs., or a Yokozuna and a Big Show or nine Brian Kendrick's and maybe a Hornswoggle.

Back to school

During the same match during a particular quick series of tags, Jim Ross complimented the wrestlers and claimed that it was "Tag Team Wrestling 101," obviously meaning that it was the classic signs of a solid tag team. The Microscope looked closer.

Tag Team Wrestling 101 (3 Credits)

TTW101 is an elective course open to all students. Quick tags, holding the ropes for your partner, and deciding on which side of the referee to stand after a victory will be discussed. Students must wear matching outfits and share theme music.

Instructor: Prof. Tanaka

Prerequisite courses: None

Hot Tag 204 (3 Credits)

HT204 will cover the beating down of one partner while the other frantically leans over the top rope. Students must learn the precise art of reaching towards their partner without actually touching, regardless of proximity. Prompting the referee to turn around at the proper time, crawling to the wrong corner, and exasperated looks will be covered in this class.

Instructor: Prof. Richard Morton

Prerequisite courses: Face in Peril 202

Team Loyalty 386 (4 credits)

In this advanced class, students will learn about the theories of blind loyalty to a partner, despite obvious concerns to outsiders. Students must practice chair shots, making the chair shot look accidental, and walking away from the tag when their partner needs it the most.

Instructor: Prof. Steve Borden

Prerequisite courses: I'm Sure I Can Trust You This Time 242

Lee Stevens goes "Under The Microscope" for Raw and Smackdown. You can leave comments for him below or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com

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