By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist

Welcome y'all. No Way Out comes to you live this Sunday. Where does No Way Out take place? I dunno. But what I do know is that this Absurd preview is to let readers know if NWO is worth buying before they read the reviews of the show. Should you save your money and spend it on a purchase of Street Fighter IV? Read on and find out.

Jack Swagger vs. Finlay for ECW Championship

Jack Chump. Jack misplaces his title. Jack loses to Finlay. Jack loses to Christian. WWE is making sure Jack doesn't get too big for his britches. It's actually refreshing to see that a rookie would have a hard time dealing with veterans instead of going on this monster tear. Swagger could have won the ECW championship from Matt Hardy by the explanation of Matt being too focused on Jeff.

A tough battle here. Swagger slaps Hornswoggle, Finlay busts open his nose, and Swagger picks up his 2nd PPV win. I'm wishing that WWE could at least have Christian show up on top of the ramp after the match to encourage viewers to check out ECW, but I'm not sure about that. It's not Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy, but this match is serviceable enough (credit to z.about.com for pic).

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Winner Takes All: JBL vs. Shawn Michaels

This feud is marked by very good mic work but not a whole lot of in-ring action. That's actually a testament to both JBL and Shawn Michaels for having very solid promos nearly weekly on Raw.

I would like to see JBL win this one. HBK can have his moment in the sun at WrestleMania, where Cole exclaims, "HBK is no longer an indentured servant! He got his manhood back! He's no longer a chump! No longer does he have to suffer! Now he's filthy rich again! Yay!" The outcome of this feud could be like one of those '80s movies where the morale of the story is questionable. But credit to this feud making it less about "care for HBK because he is broke" to more of a "care for HBK because he has to work for an evil boss and his pride is at stake." That's more universal.

Plus I would get a kick of seeing HBK sell JBL's energy products with less than half zeal or HBK driving JBL's limo. If HBK wins, then from my standpoint this feud would be over. This feud has been a good thing and I'm not ready to have it end just yet. HBK could get one more shot at WrestleMania to become free blah blah blah. Plus with a JBL win, the impression that would be set in is that JBL owns HBK in the ring as well as outside (credit to marketsmediaonline.com for pic).

VERDICT: A Little Absurd

Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon

Randy has had an interesting month. At one point he was the biggest chump WWE had (with Shane-o knocking him out the very next night after he won the Rumble), but WWE salvaged it by Legacy beating up Shane and Steph backstage.

I find it hard to emotionally involve myself with Randy Orton vs. The McMahons. The McMahons have been painted as saints recently (to the point where WWE had the Raw roster come out during Shane's payback against Orton), but for long time viewers, it's a little bit contrived. Orton vs. McMahons is more like somewhat "kinda fake evil heel" vs. "a--holes." That's to show how much one show can hurt a feud. Orton has IED? Orton has therapists? Shane beats up Legacy by himself? Legacy doesn't fight back because the entire Raw roster would come in defense of their hero Shane? Even the heels like Jericho, Knox and JoMizzy? Sure.

Probably some Legacy and Steph involvement. I don't expect Shane to fall off the Titantron or something ridiculous. Orton's big evil heel moment that they will show endlessly in video packages could come simply as punting Shane in the head. And then, Vince's real son John Cena comes in defense for the McMahons at WrestleMania.

Shane doesn't really have the aura anymore of "expect me to do a sick PPV bump" like in years past. This feud never really quite hit the mark. I'm undecided on this one in buying it.

VERDICT: Very Absurd

John Cena vs. Kofi vs. Mike Knox vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho for World Championship

The Kofi/Knox problem. The only hardcore match I can recall with Kofi is his ECW Extreme Rules match with Shelton Benjamin. I'm actually warming up to Knox, as it seems he doesn't dog it when he has matches. But when push comes to shove, the really only main event talent in this doohickey is Cena and Jericho. Kofi, Knox, Mysterio, and Kane are in the mid-card. Nice job out of WWE in making Knox and Kane a tag team (also with Kofi and Mysterio). This match has the advantage of not having the "lumbering meatheads" aspect of the Smackdown Chamber (Show, Kozlov, Trips, Undertaker).

It looks like Jericho is still involved with the Flair-Rourke deal with Mania. It's nearly a foregone conclusion that Cena wins this one. If this was a plain ol' battle royale, I would be still tempted to check it out due to the solid work of the wrestlers recently.

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Triple H vs. Kozlov vs. Undertaker vs. Big Show for WWE Championship

Jeff Hardy being in the elimination chamber is a dicey thing. For one, lately Jeff's main act on Smackdown is being involved in small bursts of hype. A video interview here, cop footage there. I'm going to guess and say that something will happen to Jeff to protect him when he does lose on Sunday (I can't see Matt replacing Jeff in the chamber, since a Matt lost would be detrimental to his feud with Jeff). I do see somebody hitting Jeff with a steel pipe or something and Jeff wrestles in the chamber injured.

The focus should remain this: "Matt cost me the title." If Jeff just goes out there and loses in the chamber (since Matt vs. Jeff seems to be looming at Mania, and I feel that WWE doesn't trust Jeff with the WWE belt at Mania), then he becomes a chump. Plus Matt can get some more heel vibe in injuring Jeff. Basically if Jeff goes in the chamber "untouched" and loses, then he's a chump.

There have been rumblings of an Edge vs. Show feud. Personally I would like to see Undertaker vs. Triple H at WrestleMania. The match would have WrestleMania history (Undertaker vs. Triple H at WM 17). It would be in the hometown of Taker. And it can be "Title vs. Streak." So thus, I look for Triple H to win this one (credit to upload.wikimedia.org for pic).

I say that because Trips has not lost any ground since losing the belt at Armageddon. Weekly he was involved in "against impossible odds." Was the longest one in the Rumble. And had JR and Tazz basically kissing his ass non-stop (not even Taker, HBK or Cena got nearly as much love). So the seat has been kept plenty warm for Trips to get back the belt.

I can't see Triple H vs. Edge headlining WM, nor do I necessarily want a triple threat match with Trips, Edge and Undertaker. This is all guesswork, but I look for Triple H to win this one. This chamber match looks on paper to be better than the Raw elimination chamber.

VERDICT: A Little Absurd

FINAL SAY: I think the strongest parts to this PPV are the JBL vs. HBK and the Smackdown Elimination Chamber. Kudos for WWE for imprinting on the fans's minds that an ECW PPV match is not just filler to advance storylines. I'm not very sure about how Orton vs. Shane will play out. Obviously the focus here is to push Orton as this mega heel. But how can I trust WWE will do this when Shane-o-mac owned Legacy on that horrible Raw? It could turn out to be a great brawl...or it can turn out to be a bunch of WWE garbage. I'm a bit unsure about this match.

The Raw Elimination chamber match is fine enough, even though the chamber has the biggest hype in this match. Typically the No Way Out PPVs (or the PPV before WrestleMania) usually have to hit it out of the park to encourage WrestleMania buys. By contrast, often I am not impressed with PPVs that's main feature is somebody coming back (Survivor Series with John Cena, for example). The chamber matches will encourage people to buy. Swagger vs. Finlay looks to be solid. JBL vs. HBK has a great storyline. And who knows with Orton vs. Shane.

MATCHES I WOULD PAY TO SEE

-- JBL vs. HBK
-- Smackdown Elimination Chamber
-- Raw Elimination Chamber

MATCHES I AM UNSURE I WOULD PAY TO SEE

-- Orton vs. Shane
-- Swagger vs. Finlay

MATCHES THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD PAY TO SEE

-- None

NO WAY OUT VERDICT: A Little Absurd

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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