THE SPECIALISTS UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 5/1 WWE Smackdown: Hi, I'm Troy McClure, Morrison wins divorce settlement, Umaga baggage claim incident
May 4, 2009 - 10:57:42 AM
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By Lee Stevens, Torch specialist
Thank you for joining me again as we put Smackdown "Under The Microscope." This is not a complete recap of the show. This is simply a closer look at the broadcast.
A is for apple
Todd Grisham insisted that if you "look up arrogant in the dictionary, Chris Jericho in a suit and tie is what you see." Naturally, I looked up arrogant in the dictionary. The only picture on the page is for the entry for Argentina and it looked nothing like him. It did remind me of wrestlers from Argentina, which isn't a long list.
Most recently, Jorge Gonzalez made his mark as El Gigante and Giant Gonzalez. The seven-footer made his mark on the basketball court, playing with the Argentina National Team and eventually being drafted in the third round by the Atlanta Hawks. Although he didn't make it on the NBA courts, Hawks owner Ted Turner noticed him and he eventually entered the WCW ring. His WWF career wasn't stellar, with most people remembering him more for his body suit he wore to the ring. He also lost to The Undertaker at WrestleMania IX.
Also on the list of Argentine wrestlers, Miguel Perez is most famous for teaming with WWE Hall of Famer Antonino Rocca. Many would include Rocca on this list, as one of his moves was the Argentine backbreaker rack, but he was actually born in Italy.
You could also include Pampero Firpo, Ervan the Armenian, Ivan the Terrible, The Missing Link, The Great Pampero, or The Wild Bull of the Pampas because they are all the same man, Juan Kachmanian.
Fame. I'm gonna live forever.
Edge took the time to welcome Jericho to Smackdown and win points with the New York fans as he mentioned how proud and honored he was to perform at the "World's Most Famous Arena." Just as the New York faithful began to celebrate his acknowledgement of Madison Square Garden, he quickly shifted gears and claimed that the Air Canada Centre deserved the title.
Other famous arenas include Bruce Arena who led the University of Virginia soccer team to five national titles before coaching D.C. United to a MLS crown. He also led the U.S. men's national soccer team. Arena magazine was a monthly periodical started in 1986 with the last edition sold in March 2009.
Arena was shared by Duran Duran, Asia, and Todd Rundgren as names of albums. If you are looking at the world's most famous arenas, you could certainly include Washington Wizards forward Gilbert Arenas. The former All-Star once scored 60 points in a game, was on the cover of NBA Live '08, and received the 2007 Weblog award as "Best Celebrity Blogger."
Plus, his nickname is "Hibachi." How do you compete with that?
I said howdy, he said hi
Everyone was practicing their introductions as C.M. Punk joined the discussion as he said hello to both Edge and Jericho. I can't be the only one who thought of a more animated person when Punk said, "My name is C.M. Punk and you may remember me from awesome moments like this..."
"HI. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get some confidence, Stupid!'"
Plus, Troy was good enough to bring us back to wrestling with, "Hi. I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such celebrity funerals as 'Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye' and 'Shemp Howard, Today We Mourn A Stooge.'"
Introduce yourself please
We can't discuss introductions without include Dolph Ziggler. Todd Grisham referred to his amateur wrestling career and although Ziggler was a successful wrestler at Kent State, I'm not clear on his advertised credentials. WWE announcers have often referred to Ziggler as having the most wins at Kent State and the most pins. According to the Golden Flashes website, Ziggler, then introducing himself as Nick Nemeth, finished with a record of 121-31. Alex Carmago holds the mark with 126 wins.
He did have 36 wins in a single season which is one shy of the Golden Flashes record held by Tim Tusick and Steve Reedy.
Sniff
MVP seemed to have more trouble with the strip on his nose than Ziggler as he struggled to keep it attached during the match. He finally ripped it off just as he got the pin. He's not the only one who has worn the accessory during a physical contest. According to the Breathe Right website, in an independent study conducted by Project Research, Inc. with over 1,000 randomly selected subscribers to Runner's World magazine:
-- 87 percent said wearing a Breathe Right strip made it easier to breathe when they ran
-- 90 percent were satisfied with the performance of the nasal strip
-- 92 percent said they would recommend the strip to a friend
-- 2 percent understood why Sherri Shepherd was on WWE TV
We can still be friends
John Morrison debuted as a full-time singles wrestler on Smackdown after his heated split with The Miz. Apparently Morrison got custody of the slo-mo entrance in the divorce.
Explain and show your work
Thanks to the graphics department for taking the time to explain the rules of the four-way match for the #1 Contenders spot. Most avid WWE fans know the specifics of every match, regardless of stipulations, but I appreciate the writers and producers allowing a moment of explanation so a casual fan won't get confused about the continuation of that match after the first pin.
Smackdown also did a very credible job of building up the recent draft picks, including graphics and claiming that they got the best of the selections. Many of the recent selections were featured in prominent roles and it felt like an important show. Time will tell if this can continue, but the first episode with the brand split (MVP is apparently just visiting, thank you) seemed to give a solid start.
I'm still not sure what Umaga has against briefcases, but perhaps there was a baggage claim incident years ago.
Lee Stevens examines Smackdown and Raw with "Under The Microscope." You can leave comments below or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com
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