By Lee Stevens, Torch specialist

Thank you for joining me as we put WWE Smackdown "Under The Microscope." Instead of a complete recap, this is simply a closer look at Friday's broadcast.

We're all winners

Edge and Jeff Hardy started the show and although they disagreed on several points, they apparently found a common ground with one topic. Edge called Hardy "a failure" and "a loser" and Hardy didn't argue with him. In fact, he accepted all of them, going on to say that "I'm a loser," but deep down "I'm a competitor."

Hardy is likely the second-most accepting person described in such a way. Beck had a breakthrough hit single with the song "Loser" in 1994. In fact, Hardy may be the more understanding of the two. Hardy basically said "I'm a loser, Edge, so why don't you face me?" while Beck insisted that "I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?" One choice obviously leaves the door open for a re-match later.

Loser was also a little-seen movie starring Jason Biggs and Mena Suvari in 2000.

Did you bring enough for the whole class?

Teddy Long and Hardy both asked for the same thing, with varying degrees of believability. Since both asked nicely, I believe this gentleman has plenty of "holla's" for everyone.



Um, thank you?

Ricky Ortiz was described as the "Richard Simmons of WWE," for his constant motivational attempts to the fans and for himself. He also shares a similar hair style with the famous fitness figure. Although they would appear to share a similar first name, Ricky Ortiz was born Richard Young, while Richard Simmons was actually born Milton Simmons. They were both born on the 12th, with Ortiz coming into the world on May 12, while Simmons was born on June 12. Ortiz is usually seen with his rally towel and Simmons is usually quite shiny and needing a towel.

This isn't the first time someone in WWE has prompted the Simmons comparison. Simon Dean, who also wrestled as Super Nova, portrayed a physical fitness expert who was constantly promoting the Simon System. His on-air name was a take-off of Dean Malenko's real name, Dean Simon.

I just got into town about an hour ago

Jim Ross has admitted that he's a fan of John Morrison and apparently he has also spent some time listening to Jim too. Ross used a popular sports phrase in talking about a wrestler's positive momentum by insisting that he's "got his mojo rising tonight." The line comes from a song by The Doors, but the word "mojo" is nowhere to be found in the title. The line actually comes from the song "L.A. Woman."

Hall in the family

Charlie Haas was described as "Seton Hall's contribution to WWE" and his exploits as a college wrestler have been well documented on WWE television and with "The Microscope." Seton Hall has also contributed to other groups, including Samuel Dalembert in the NBA, Mo Vaughn and Craig Biggio (Caldwell's Note: fave all-time baseball player) with MLB, and George Terwilliger, who was the U.S. Deputy Attorney General and first person to be named "Terwilliger" to be mentioned with "The Microscope."

The man behind the mask

Rey Mysterio attempted to explain the seriousness of his mask by sharing the history of luchadores and what the mask means to his heritage. The message itself was fine, but it seemed rather random considering it hasn't been a prominent part of his WWE character. One of the most important points he made was that "without my mask, I am not Rey Mysterio." It not only gave the mask a new level of importance, it's also technically true. Without his mask, he is Oscar Gutierrez. He took the name as a tribute to his uncle, who trained him and also wrestled with the name Rey Mysterio.

If Mysterio does lose his mask in the coming weeks, it won't be the first time. He lost a mask vs. hair match against Kevin Nash in 1999 while in WCW. When Mysterio debuted with WWE, he dropped the "Junior" from his name, but picked up the mask again.

As for the pride in his heritage, he chose three solid names as role models with Pedro Morales, Tito Santana, and Eddie Guerrero. Morales held the belt longer than anyone during his two separate reigns. Ironically in a discussion about Mysterio, Morales's total is 619 days. His individual run does fall short of The Honky Tonk Man's record. Santana held the belt twice for 443 days and Guerrero had two separate runs as Intercontinental Champion for a total of 114 days.

Is it worth 2 points if it's a really big head?

After a particularly well-placed kick, Ross reminded us that C.M. Punk is well-versed in the "nine points of Muay Thai" and that the head is one of the points. From what I have read about the style of fighting, the points are actually the origin of the strike and not the destination, so using the head would actually be a headbutt and not a final landing place. In modern Muay Thai, the head butt is no longer allowed, which leaves eight points; fists, elbows, knees, and feet. Not to be confused with head, shoulders, knees, and toes, which has a catchier tune, but won't help you in a fight.

Lee Stevens examines Raw and Smackdown with "Under The Microscope." You can leave comments below or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt