By Lee Stevens, Torch specialist

Thank you for joining me as put Smackdown "Under The Microscope." This is not a complete recap of the show. It is simply a closer look at various points of the broadcast.

Climbing the corporate ladder

If you weren't sure the stipulation of the Edge vs. Jeff Hardy match at Extreme Rules, the opening set decoration removed all doubts. Hardy weaved in and out of several ladders to make his way to the ring to confront Edge. Jim Ross admitted that he had "never seen so many ladders, even at Home Depot." Taking a closer look at Home Depot's website, they feature 28 different types of ladders which are available "in store," including two topping out at 32 feet all the way down to a two step version suitable for the next time Edge challenges Hornswoggle in the same style of match.

Whoops

As Hardy strolled to the ring, he purposely walked under several of the ladders, defying a common belief that walking under a ladder is bad luck. According to one explanation, the space between the ground and the ladder form a triangle, which could symbolize the holy trinity. By walking under the ladder, you are breaking that holy bond. Although the length of time of the bad luck can vary, one of the most common sentences is seven years. I counted Hardy walking under a ladder seven times, so please be sure to tune in for Jeff Hardy's next positive event in June 2058.

As for popular ways to combat the effects of walking under a ladder, you could spit three times through the ladder's rungs, cross your fingers until you see a dog, spit on your shoe and keep walking, but don't look at your shoe until it is dry or walk backwards out of the ladder and make a wish as you back out. I'm not sure what happens if you spit on the dog. Hold, please.

Apparently, your dog gets very angry. Let's move on.

Keepsake

I hope you looked closely at Hardy during the segment as you saw a special memento from last week's show. He still sported signs of the cut suffered as he collided with the camera person.

The Extreme Sailor-Man

Hardy's work on the microphone has improved during the past year. Many people have suggested that it's because the company has shown confidence in him, others have argued that it's because of more focus from Hardy. I contend that it's because of spinach, at least based on one of his quotes from Friday night. Hardy countered Edge's criticism by insisting "I've done what I've done. I am what I am." The latter part of his quote was often used, with the usual sloppy diction, by Popeye.

The popular sailor has been seen in comic books, cartoons and even a feature-length movie starring Robin Williams in the title role. Popeye also was the inspiration for several video games, including one which saw our hero trying to save Olive Oyl from the evil Brutus (he was also known as Bluto in various forms) by collecting hearts and musical notes. He would move around the boat via steps and (wait for it) ladders. The circle of The Microscope is complete.

The one class you really need a study partner

Ross shared a bit of his scientific knowledge by insisting that the quadricep was the "biggest muscle in the body" and adding the technical name of quadricep femoris, "from my Anatomy days." I wish he would have said his final grade. According to the FAQ section of The Free Health Encyclopedia website, the largest muscle in the body is the Latissimus dorsi, the large flat muscle pair that covers the middle and lower back. The longest muscle is the Sartorius, the strap like muscle that runs from the waist across the front of the thigh to the knee.

The smallest muscle is the Stapedius, the muscle that activates the stirrup, the small bone that sends vibrations from the eardrum to the inner ear. My biceps are a close second. I have the arms of an eight-year old ballerina. Just look away.

Help me

Chris Jericho wanted to make certain that Rey Mysterio understood the gravity of their upcoming match by warning him, "Be afraid Rey Mysterio, be very afraid." He isn't the first to use that phrase. Although others may have uttered the same words before, the phrase become popular as a tag line for the 1986 movie "The Fly" starring Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis. Ironically, with all of Jericho's talk about people hiding being masks, "The Fly" did win the Academy Award for Best Makeup.

I had a paper route. That's just as cool, right? Right?

Rey Mysterio's career is impressive when you look at his relatively small size in comparison with his competition and even more impressive when you consider his start. Ross reminded us that Mysterio "had his first match at 13." He wrestled as Colibri, which is Spanish for Hummingbird and didn't take the name of his uncle until he turned 18. Although he was too young to receive an official license, there was little enforcement of the rule.

Stop moving, I'm not finished reading

Todd Grisham documented a brief moment of good fortune from C.M. Punk, while still respecting one of the wrestler's creeds, by reminding us that Punk "has a tattoo that says 'Luck is for losers.'" It's certainly not his only decoration as he has the words "Straight Edge" on his stomach, "No Gimmicks Needed" on his back (which I believe is a tribute to the late Chris Candido) and of course, his famous Pepsi symbol.

The "Luck is for losers" tattoo also shares space with various lucky charms, including a horseshoe, a four-leaf clover, and a rabbit's food. Not included with the lucky charms are pink hearts, yellow moons, and orange stars. Incidentally, the first boxes of Lucky Charms featured the hearts, moons, and stars and green clovers, but only the hearts and clovers have survived. Since then, blue diamonds, purple horseshoes, red balloons, rainbows, pots of gold, leprechaun hats, shootings stars, and hourglasses have been added to the mix. As for Lucky the Leprechaun, he has also been known as Sir Charms and L.C. Leprechaun.

He means it in a good way

The sign of the night belongs to the person claiming that "Edge Is a Blowfish." I'm not even sure exactly what it means, but it's not often that you see that particular animal used as a comparison, positive or negative. The most famous Blowfish would actually be the three men who performed behind Darius Rucker in the late 1990's. The man, better known by his nickname, Hootie, fronted the band who scored #1 hits with songs such as "Hold My Hand," "Only Want To Be With You," and "Let Her Cry." Although they don't seem to have much in common with Edge, the "Rated-R Superstar" could share a parental warning if you take a closer look.

Hootie & The Blowfish released albums entitled "Kootchypop," "Cracked Rear View," and "Fairweather Johnson," which all have not-necessarily family friendly definitions. I'm not sure if any would be worth of an R-rating, but PG-13 Superstar really doesn't have the same kick to it. Although, PG 13 was the name of the tag team of J.C. Ice and Wolfie D, who wrestled in the USWA, around the same time that Hootie & The Blowfish were on the top of the charts. Wolfie D would later change his name to Slash and wrestle with Leviathan and Bane. Leviathan now answers to the name Batista and Bane gets mail addressed to Tyson Tomko.

Darius Rucker now records country music as a solo artist and does rare live performances with the Blowfish.

Actual blowfish are the second most poisonous vertebrate in the world, behind the Golden Poison Frog. One of which nearly claimed the life of Homer Simpson in an episode entitled "One Fish, Two Fish, Blow Fish, Blue Fish" - a take-off of the famous Dr. Seuss book. In the episode, several characters spend quality time singing Karaoke, with Bart and Lisa taking on "The Theme From Shaft," which was made famous by Isaac Hayes, who also did the voice of "Chef" on South Park, which also gave us the song "Blame Canada" from their hit movie.

Since Edge is from Canada, that seems like a fitting place to stop. Edge is a blowfish.

Lee Stevens examines Smackdown and Raw with "Under The Microscope." You can leave comments for him below or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com. He prefers Fruity Pebbles to Lucky Charms, but it's a big world, we can still work together.

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