By Lee Stevens, Torch specialist

Thank you for joining me as we put Raw "Under The Microscope." For new readers, this is not a complete recap of Monday's show. Instead, it's a closer look at the broadcast.

The People Have Spoken

Thanks to everyone who voted in this week's Microscope Poll. The landslide winner was a closer look at the man running Raw on Monday night, Ted DiBiase.

DiBiase was born into the business, but it wasn't his father who was the professional wrestler. His mother, Helen Hild, was the active grappler and later she married fellow wrestler Mike DiBiase, giving the Million Dollar Man his famous last name. Mike officially adopted Ted, but wasn't around to see his adopted son's success as "Iron" Mike died of a heart attack in the ring when Ted was just 15 years old.

DiBiase attended West Texas State, joining wrestlers such as Tully Blanchard, Dory Funk, Terry Funk, Stan Hansen, Dusty Rhodes, and Tito Santana at the school just outside of Amarillo, Texas. After dropping out, he started training with the Funks and eventually made his debut with Mid-South Wrestling.

He would visit the WWF briefly before returning to Mid-South and the NWA facing off against Tommy Rich, Jim Duggan, Junkyard Dog, and other familiar names. DiBiase earned several titles during this time, including the Mid-South North American Heavyweight Championship on four different occasions. He had a much simpler look compared to his future million dollar wardrobe, with his only accessory coming in a single black glove, which was often "loaded," giving him a quick victory over his opponent.

In 1987, DiBiase debuted as "The Million Dollar Man" in his return to the WWF, throwing around money to get whatever he wanted with the idea that "everyone has a price." He would pay off the manager of a local pool to shut down for the day, despite the protests of a crowd of children. He would also humiliate people in the middle of the ring for cash, including a very young Rob Van Dam, who had to kiss DiBiase's feet to collect the money.

One small detail which was handled very well was DiBiase's actions away from the arena. The WWF made sure to give DiBiase plenty of spending money so he could toss around $100 bills away from the TV cameras too.

He attempted to buy the WWF Title from Hulk Hogan and when Hogan refused, DiBiase bought it through the services of Andre The Giant. Andre won the belt and presented it to DiBiase, but the championship switch wasn't recognized and the title was declared vacant. This was the match which revealed that referee Dave Hebner actually had a twin brother, Earl, as DiBiase pulled the switch to try to take the title.

Later purchases included buying the services of Hercules Hernandez and obtaining the coveted #30 spot at The Royal Rumble. He would also buy the services of Sapphire, Dusty Rhodes's manager, which jumpstarted his feud with Rhodes, which we will discuss later.

While DiBiase chased the title, tried to purchase the title and even invented his own title, he never officially held the WWF Championship. He did claim the Tag Team Championship three times with Irwin R. Schyster and was the 1988 King of the Ring. In his first visit to the WWF, he was given the WWF North American Heavyweight Championship, which essentially became the Intercontinental Title.

After Money Inc. with Schyster, he would return to the ring as a manager with The Million Dollar Corporation. While Money Inc. featured someone else with obvious ties to finances, The Million Dollar Corporation has a decidedly random flavor with Bam Bam Bigelow, Kama, Sycho Sid, and even a down on his luck Nikolai Volkoff.

One of the final marks he left was managing The Ringmaster, who would later enjoy much more success as Stone Cold Steve Austin. DiBiase put his career on the line at In Your House: Beware of Dog, saying that he would leave if Austin couldn't defeat Savio Vega. Vega won the match and DiBiase left for WCW.

He would alternate between working with and against the NWO during his time in WCW until he stepped away from the cameras. He has split his "retirement" time by working as a road agent, other wrestling appearances and serving in his ministry, often alongside Nikita Koloff.

Thanks to everyone who voted! More on DiBiase as we take a closer look at the show.

You can't have million dollar pants without it

The sign of the night goes to the fan prepared for this week's Guest Host. "Bring Back The Million $ Belt" was proudly displayed by one fan as DiBiase started the show with the famous strap over his shoulder.

DiBiase debuted the title after failing in his attempt to purchase the WWF belt. He lost the title once to his former bodyguard Virgil, but eventually won it back before setting it aside when he won the Tag Team Championship with I.R.S..

He would bring back the title for The Ringmaster (Steve Austin), but when DiBiase left for WCW, The Ringmaster abandoned the title, the gimmick, and had a beer instead.

Unlimited! Except for those limitations

Michael Cole boasted about DiBiase's "unlimited power" in his role as Guest Host, which would have seemed exciting, if not for the timing. It followed DiBiase reminding us that he wasn't allowed to set any title matches until the pay-per-view.

This contradiction brings up another small problem with the guest hosts. What is preventing next week's host from changing everything DiBiase did on Monday? I really enjoyed having DiBiase on this week and I think he did a great job, but I'm not sure this "unlimited power" concept has been explained well enough. I'm sorry to nitpick, but this is The Microscope, we pick nits.

Give it away, give it away, give it away now.

One of the more unlikely pairings occurred during the tag match featuring the Colons. As Carlito performed several high speed moves in a row, Jerry Lawler proclaimed him a "red hot chili pepper." I'm sure The King would have used lower case letters for the description, but if we go with the formal name, we look to the group currently made up of Anthony Kiedis, Chad Smith, John Frusciante, and Michael Balzary, better known as "Flea."

Carlos and Primo Colon credit their father for bringing them into the business of wrestling, while Kiedis has said that his father gave him his first taste of drugs. Both sides enjoyed several years of success with their respective choices, although Kiedis has since quit.

Primo Colon used to wrestle as Eddie Colon until he changed his name, reportedly to honor the memory of Eddie Guerrero. Flea was born Michael Balzary until he changed his name in high school, reportedly as a joke with his friends who developed "cartoon" names.

With The Colons now taking their disagreements to the physical level, it provides another comparison, albeit one as stretched as the others. The Red Hot Chili Peppers provided a song for the soundtrack of a movie featuring two young men who shared great success, with random explosions of violence thrown in as "Love Rollercoaster" was part of the 1996 movie "Beavis and Butthead Do America."

Beavis and Butthead always made up in the end. Time will tell for The Colon Brothers. Spitting apples is cool. Heh-heh.

My dad can beat up your dad

"Quite frankly, he was a hell of a lot better than your father."

Ted DiBiase Jr. and Randy Orton exchanged several heated words before their match, perhaps none more pointed than DiBiase's attack on the legacy of Orton's father, Bob. I'll leave it to you to discuss work rate, in ring performance, and lasting influence. I'll be over here using my own criteria.

-- DiBiase Titles:
WWF North American Heavyweight Championship--and bonus points for being awarded the title upon arrival. Welcome to our home. Here, we got this for you.
WWF Tag Team Titles--3 times
Million Dollar Championship--2 times, but minus points for having to make up his own title.

NWA National Heavyweight Championship--2 times
NWA National Tag Team Championship--2 times
NWA Central States Heavyweight Championship--2 times
Mid-South North American Heavyweight Championship--4 times
Mid-South Tag Team Championship--4 times
AJPW Unified World Tag Team Championship
NWA United States Championship

-- Orton Titles:
AWF Heavyweight Championship
NWA Florida Heavyweight Championship
NWA Florida Tag Team Championship--3 times
ICW Southeastern Heavyweight Championship
ICW Southeastern Tag Team Championship--2 times
ICW Television Championship
NWA World Tag Team Championship
NWA Southeastern Tag Team Championship--4 times
UWF Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship
UWF Southern States Championship--2 times

DiBiase--held titles in Japan
Orton--held titles in Georgia

DiBiase--used a loaded glove
Orton--used a loaded cast

DiBiase--held titles with Matt Borne, Dick Murdoch, and a man who wore a necktie in the ring
Orton--held titles with Bob Orton (father), Barry Orton (brother) and wrestled with a man who wore a kilt in the ring

One last interesting note, Bob Orton's father, Bob Orton Sr., not only held a title with his son, he also served as AWA Midwest Tag Team Champions with DiBiase's step-father, Mike.

Oh yeah, well both of our fathers can beat up your father

Cody Rhodes wasn't left out of the unofficial "Father's Day" festivities as Ted Sr. verbally sparred with the younger Rhodes about his dad, Dusty, with several choice words. "I despise Dusty Rhodes. And the fact that that fat, blond headed, bloated, gyrating fool is in the WWE Hall of Fame and I'm not is a travesty."

Continuing our comparison:

Bob Orton--Class of 2005
Dusty Rhodes--Class of 2007
Ted DiBiase--Not in the Hall of Fame
Koko B. Ware--Class of 2009

As "The Million Dollar Man" continues to be utilized on WWE TV, it's apparent that his selection will be a matter of "when" and not "if," but it's one of the many oversights in the Hall of Fame. DiBiase doesn't seem to fit in the category of wrestlers who have burned bridges after leaving, so this will likely be a problem that is fixed in the next few years.

DiBiase has been a part of the Hall of Fame ceremonies, as he inducted the late "Sensational" Sherri Martel in 2006.

Ah, memories

Just to put a final note on the deluge of dutiful Dad dialogue, "I'm gonna put you in polka dots just like your old man," DiBiase warned Rhodes. Just one of many references to Dusty's time as "The Common Man" in the WWF. This was another solid attention to detail during the evening. DiBiase showed signs of being the typical returning legend who plays to the fans, but he also stayed true to his character in referencing one of his enemies from years ago.

"The Million Dollar Man" clashed with "the son of a plumber" numerous times in the early 1990's, with DiBiase purchasing Sapphire and attacking Dustin Rhodes who was sitting ringside. The two sides obviously had differing opinions on money, status and wardrobe.




What's in a name?

Sapphire wasn't the only sidekick involved in the "Clash of the Classes" as Virgil was in the middle of many battles between the wrestlers. Mike Jones wrestled as "Virgil" in an apparent dig at Dusty Rhodes, born Virgil Runnels who was still working for WCW at the time. Ironically, Jones was in the middle of another case of "sticks and stones" later in his career. When we moved to the WCW and the NWO, he was renamed "Vincent" in an apparent revenge jab against Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Later, he would manage Ernest Miller as Mr. Jones, in a clear case of trying to get under the skin of my high school Algebra teacher. That'll show him.

Inflation

"The Million Dollar Man" visited Raw throughout the show and Donald Trump was referred to as "The Multi-Billion Dollar Man" during the broadcast. The only one missing was Lee Majors, who portrayed the "Six Million Dollar Man" in the famous 1970s TV show. In a lovely coincidence for wrestling fans, Majors played a character named Steve Austin.

Andre The Giant made a guest appearance on the show as Bigfoot.

"The 13 Million Dollar Man" was the title of an episode of Diagnosis: Murder
"The Sixty Million Dollar Man" was the title of a 1995 movie from Hong Kong
"The Dollar Woman" is Sacagawea, who is featured on the dollar coin.

Red carpet to the ring

MVP made the most of his time this week as he received decent publicity after attending the BET Awards with Sherri Shepherd and then followed that footage with a solid VIP Lounge with Jack Swagger. Both MVP and Swagger played their roles quite well with MVP criticizing Swagger's qualifications and "The All-American American" calling out MVP for his past mistakes.

Swagger--"I went to the University of Oklahoma. Do you know that means?"
MVP--"That you couldn't get into a better school?"

Swagger was actually recruited by the Sooners for football, too, as he played defensive tackle before switching over to wrestling full-time.

Are you okay?

Lawler used one of Jim Ross's lines to describe someone's agility as he claimed that they were "quicker than a hiccup." Although the speed is difficult to measure, hiccups should stop within a few minutes. WebMD suggests you see a doctor if they last longer than 48 hours. Charles Osborne holds the dubious record of having hiccups for 68 years from 1922 to 1990. He was married twice during that time.

In the beginning

As Triple H and John Cena began their match to determine the #1 contender, Michael Cole spoke to Lawler about the magnitude of the battle. "One of the biggest Main Events we've had. You've been here since the beginning," insisted Cole. Granted, it was a big Main Event, but saying Lawler has been here "since the beginning" deserves a closer look.

Raw debuted in January 1993 with Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Rob Bartlett as announcers. The announcing crew would shuffle in Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Gorilla Monsoon, and even Johnny Polo before Lawler would put on the headsets for the Monday night broadcast in October 1994.

Lawler was with the company during this time, as he was feuding with Bret Hart and the Hart family, resulting in the introduction of Lawler's dentist, Isaac Yankem. Amazingly, the good doctor is still with WWE as Kane. Lawler also spent time antagonizing Doink the Clown during this period, resulting in the introduction of Dink, Wink, and Pink, none of which are still in WWE.

Lawler countered with Sleazy and Cheesy, who are not still in WWE.

Weezy was the nickname of George Jefferson's wife on "The Jeffersons." She is not in WWE.

Breezy is the name of a 1973 film starring William Holden and Kay Lenz, neither have appeared in WWE.

Jeezy is the stage name of Jay Jenkins who has performed with Akon, Usher, and others. He has not appeared in WWE.

They've never had a Breezy, although they've seen Sunny and Kloudy.
They've never had Sneezy, but they've had Doc (Hendrix) and plenty of Dopey.

Sleazy? I think we're all set.

Lee Stevens examines Raw and Smackdown with "Under The Microscope." You can leave comments below or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com

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