By Curtis Shanks, Torch specialist

Welcome to the TNA Impact edition of Under the Microscope. We're here to review all those little observations and tidbits you may have missed. This is not a detailed recap of the show, but a review for those of you that saw the show but didn't actually "watch" it. After last week's show, we know that the folks in charge of TNA Mobile are fibbers, Suicide moonlights as a song writer, and Homicide has regained his luggage. But what else is there to notice? Let's see what we can spot. Cue the opening pyro.

The record books say that Mick Foley tapped out in the main event last week, but not if you ask Foley himself. Eric Young signaled for the bell, despite the fact that Foley never actually said "I Quit." Foley adds in some history to his argument, referencing an instance against Dory Funk, Jr. in 1991 when he actually did utter those words. I can't say I know what match Foley is talking about for sure, but a little research has led me to what seems like the likely choice.

Dory Funk, Jr. and Terry Funk faced off against Cactus Jack and Texas Terminator Hoss (that's quite the ring name!) at an All Japan Pro Wrestling show on April 18, 1991. The Funks picked up the win, as Dory forced Foley to submit. Seems like an odd match for Foley to reference, as it was not an "I Quit" match, but rather a standard tag match. There are two other recent "I Quit" matches on Foley's resume, both losses. There is of course the infamous Foley-Rock match-up from the 1999 Royal Rumble, as well as a match vs. Ric Flair at Summerslam 2006 where Foley quit to prevent Flair from injuring then-interest Melina Perez.

Our first match this week isn't really much of a match, as Samoa Joe obliterates Amazing Red in less than 30 seconds of actual ring time. Red is in his second run with the company, as he left TNA in July 2005 - right about the same time that Joe was making his debut. Despite their employment histories never really overlapping, we have seen the Joe vs. Red match-up in TNA before. When Joe was running rampant over the X Division in late 2005, he faced Red on the December 8 edition of Impact. The match was basically a squash, as it was a one-off appearance for Red rather than a full-fledged return. That was the last we saw of him until his return in the tag tournament earlier this year.

One week after Tara won her first Knockout title, Homicide joins the first-timers club this week by cashing in his Feast or Fired case to win his first X Division title. The Feast or Fired concept is of course a likeness of the Money in the Bank stipulation in WWE, but with three titles and a pink slip up for grabs. WWE likes to hype the fact that every person that has cashed in his title contract has ended up victorious. But how have the TNA briefcase winners fared since they began the concept?

The odds are an even 50/50 for winning a title in that fashion in TNA. Petey Williams, like Homicide, cashed in his case last year to win the X Division Title. The only other successful match was Lethal Consequences defeating the injured Beer Money for the tag titles at the start of the year. The case winners who have failed in their attempts are Scott Steiner and Hernandez (who regained his shot due to interference) in World Title shots, and B.G. James in his tag title shot with Bullet Bob Armstrong last year.

Homicide has held gold numerous times in TNA with tag team partner Hernandez, but as mentioned earlier, this is his first taste of X Division gold. While his home has been in the tag division, Homicide has been classified as an X Division guy on quite a few occasions. But I can find only one other instance where he even had a shot at winning the title. Homicide faced Johnny Devine on an episode of Impact back in February of 2008. Homicide was the official winner in the match, but the end result was a DQ (wow!, surprising for TNA) and the title never changed hands.

I was confused along with everyone else when Angelina Love mentioned her petition to "Peter" about Tara using her tarantula for psychological warfare to win the KO title. Mike Tenay later clarified that Love was referring to PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), which made a little more sense. While a spider is an unusual site in the wrestling ring, we have seen other animal "valets." Jake Roberts is probably the most famous for his snake Damien, but we could also include Misty the Rat (Black Reign), Ricky Steamboat's Komodo dragon (during his feud with Roberts), and even Rene Dupree's French poodle Fifi.

While I don't know the exact stance of the PETA people, there are a few other wrestling "Animals" who I'm sure would not qualify in their books. George "The Animal" Steele, Road Warrior Animal, and "The Animal" Batista need a whole new organization to look out for their well being. By this time next week I will have the groundwork laid for my new organization P.E.T.W.U.A.N.S.M.I. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Wrestlers that Use Animal as a Nickname to Seem More Intimidating.)

We've talked about Christopher "Chameleon" Daniels before in the Microscope. We've laughed at Jay Lethal's shapeshifter references and looked at the original chameleon, WWF's Steve Lombardi. But there is a new TNA roster member looking to assume the role of resident shapeshifter. We've seen vignettes for Sarita the past few weeks, and she makes her in-ring debut this week against another supposed new Knockout, Alissa Flash. We've actually seen Alissa in TNA quite frequently, as this is in fact her third character portrayed with the company. Alissa is Melissa Anderson, better known to Impact fans as Raisha Saeed. Along with the Saeed and Flash characters, Melissa wrestled an Impact match in May 2008 against Daizee Haze using her indy persona of Cheerleader Melissa.

Cheerleader Melissa was in heel mode with her new character, as she forced ring announcer Dave Penzer to announce her as a "Future Legend." While it may seem like an arrogant gesture, it is in fact the truth...at least according to the Cauliflower Alley Club. The CAC is an organization of wrestling names from the past and the present, which honors people who have made contributions to the wrestling business. The CAC hands out yearly awards, including one with the title of "Future Legend." The 2004 winner of the award was in fact Cheerleader Melissa. She is not alone in TNA however, as past winners of the award include Kurt Angle, Frankie Kazarian, and Trevor Murdoch (Jethro Holliday).

In our usual mess of a main event, Samoa Joe takes his aggressions out on Sting. Along with the beat down, we get a pretty good hint as to who the mystery man is that has been advising him. The unidentified man does not appear, but we are treated to intro music and graphics for the new acquisition. Taz has been the rumored name since the storyline started, and TNA all but affirmed this. The graphics displayed the acronym FTW and the number 13. Tazz created the F*** The World Championship during his days in ECW while chasing Shane Douglas for the ECW title, and the number 13 was prominent during his WWE days. The official name of his WWE produced intro music was in fact "13."

When a wrestler leaves a company, common practice is to bury him on TV to make him seem weak in the off chance that he will jump to a rival promotion. While we've seen this many times with wrestlers, TNA gave referee Rudy Charles the same treatment this week. Charles was fired by TNA last week, and this was the last show taped before his departure. It was not a good farewell for Rudy, as he was assaulted by Samoa Joe 15 seconds into the opening match to prompt a DQ. The last we saw of him was another run-in with Joe, as he was thrown into the ring steps before Joe entered the cage to interfere in the main event. It's been nice knowing you Rudy.

Numbers crunched harder than an unprotected chair shot to the head: When it comes to title reigns in today's professional wrestling world, commitment seems to be a thing of the past. Titles seem to change hands on a monthly basis, and when a wrestler lasts a few PPVs with the title it is almost considered a "lengthy reign." But how often do we see short reigns, and just how often do we see long ones? Instead of just comparing WWE and TNA, we'll widen our search parameters to include titles in the defunct WCW and ECW. If we look at every single title that was defended along with each and every reign with those titles since the beginning of 1995, we notice that short runs are far more common than long-term title runs.

When it comes to reigns less than thirty days, WCW was the king. From 1995 on, 49.3 percent of their reigns didn't even last a full month. Looking at the other three promotions, ECW is next with a percentage of 38.3, followed by WWE at 33.6, and TNA at 32.7. If we look at the really, really short reigns (one day or less), WCW gave us that an amazing 12.8 percent of the time, with WWE at 4 percent and TNA at just under 3 percent.

It's hard to classify exactly what signifies a lengthy reign, so we'll use six months as the measuring stick in that category. ECW was the king of longer runs, as 12.7 percent of their total title reigns lasted at least half a year. WWE and TNA are next, at 6 percent and 4.4 percent, respectively. It's no shock WCW is dead last, as a measly 1.7 percent of their title holders reached the six month milestone from 1995 on.

Curtis Shanks is a self-described wrestling nerd. Who else understands what Matt Striker is talking about all the time. Feedback is welcome, as comments, suggestions and questions can be sent to Curtis at curtisshanks.torch@gmail.com or in the comments section below.

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