By Lee Stevens, Torch specialist

Thank you for joining me as we put Smackdown "Under The Microscope." This is not a complete recap of Friday's show, instead it's a closer, sometimes offbeat, look at the broadcast.

It's a party! Whoo-hoo! It's at Punk's house! D'oh.

C.M. Punk continued his "straight edge" sales pitch to a crowd which clearly wasn't buying on Friday night. Whether it's simply a change in society outside of wrestling, or a byproduct of the "Attitude" era, it's not nearly as fun to get behind someone who professes the benefits of a clean life.

"Train, say your prayers, and take your vitamins" worked nicely for Hulk Hogan circa 1986, but since then, anyone who encouraged you to take a walk on the mild side was not someone to cheer.

Bob Backlund, upon his return to the WWF in 1992 trained hard and studied often. He would often refuse to sign an autograph unless the fan could recite the names of all U.S. Presidents in chronological order. Lesson: Read, study and do well in school. Result: Boo.

Right To Censor was formed by Stevie Richards and included Ivory, Bull Buchanan, Val Venis, and The Godfather. Richards would often run out to the ring to cover up scantily clad female wrestlers and the group would often speak out against hardcore matches. Lesson: Women should be respected for their minds and not their bodies and competition is better than senseless violence. Result: You suck.

Ricky Ortiz also continued the trend with his encouraging words hoping others will "rally up." Lesson: Believe in yourself and it doesn't matter that you've fallen down, it matters that you get back up. Result: We have some future endeavors that we would love for you to look at.

Yum

Although Punk made several good points about various abuses, I will not stand idly by while he besmirches the good name of something we've respected for so long. Not Jeff Hardy or even WWE. I'm talking about Pez. He mentioned that many people in the crowd probably popped pills like they were Pez.

First, your pills are probably either circular or oblong, while the Pez has a distinctive brick-like shape with the letters P-E-Z imprinted on the candy.

The Austrian candy took the name PEZ from letters at the beginning, middle and end of the German word for peppermint, Pfefferminz, which was the first flavor.

We have gone on to visit other areas of the flavor spectrum with coffee, raspberry and yogurt flavors. Plus, sour flavors, sugar free flavors and the most common American flavors of orange, lemon, grape, and strawberry are available in kosher forms in certain specialty markets.

As for the dispensers, Santa Claus and Mickey Mouse were two of the first characters featured as PEZ dispensers and over the years, Star Wars characters, Nascar drivers, and even Elvis Presley.

Although I'm not aware of any WWE-related PEZ dispensers, one former wrestler is quite familiar with the candy.

Of course, I'm talking about Pez Whatley.

You have been warned

Punk also referenced the continued ignoring of the Surgeon General's Warning on packs of cigarettes. Canada was actually the first country to have such warnings, with the U.S. adding them in 1966. The first warning was "Caution: Cigarette Smoking May be Hazardous to Your Health."

Since then, the warnings have included, "Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined that Cigarette Smoking is Dangerous to Your Health," SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema And May Complicate Pregnancy. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide.

Warnings would later be added to cigars and smokeless tobacco products.

Hey, I know you!

The false start to the championship match gave us a return of Vince McMahon to the Smackdown stage, but also a return of Mike Rotunda and Dean Malenko to help separate Punk and Hardy. People in the know realize that backstage agents do so much more behind the scenes, but I see how it would be easy to underestimate their duties based solely on the TV show.

"Yes, I hold people back for a few seconds, then let them go for a few seconds, only to hold them back again for a few seconds." Lather, rinse, repeat.

As for Rotunda, he is married to Blackjack Mulligan's daughter and their two sons currently wrestler in Florida Championship Wrestling as Bo and Duke Rotundo. Please note that it isn't Bo and Luke, like "Dukes of Hazzard" and it's not Rotunda, like their actual birth name. It is Florida, just like the state and I can not confirm as to whether either man has ever eaten PEZ.

...and you too!

Rey Mysterio sitting in with commentary doesn't always provide material for a closer look, but this week he surprised me with a pair of references to two big men he's faced in the past to earn the nickname "The Giant Killer." In addition to Mike Knox, who was in the ring at the time, Mysterio included Bam Bam Bigelow and Kevin Nash. During a stint in WCW after unmasking, Mysterio defeated not only Bigelow and Nash, but also Scott Norton to start the "giant killer" string.

That's when she said she was pretending...

A popular Eric Clapton song leads us into this week's episode of "Word Up" with Cryme Tyme as they introduce the word 'pretenda' to the world. They correctly gave examples of Ashlee Simpson and Milli Vanilli, who both famously were exposed as lip-synching.

Simpson had performed the song "Pieces of Me" earlier during her visit to "Saturday Night Live" and was gearing up to sing another song called "Autobiography". As she stood there, silently, we suddenly heard her singing "Pieces of Me" again. Although it's common for artists to pre-record performances, from minor elements to complete songs, whatever credibility Simpson had going into the performance certainly took a hit.



Milli Vanilli had a similar technical glitch, as their pre-recorded track actually started skipping. It was later discovered that not only were they not singing live, they hadn't been singing at all. The two men, sporting the famous dreadlocks, were just the visual for a set of studio singers who actually recorded all of the tracks on the debut album, which had produced the Grammy for "Best New Artist." Milli Vanilli returned the Grammy and were quickly dropped from their label. Sadly, Rob Pilatus was found dead in 1998 of an apparent drug overdose.

Although Cryme Tyme went on to include future opponents Chris Jericho and Big Chewbacca, they neglected to list several other famous pretenders.

Michael T. Weiss, who starred as Jarod, the title character of the NBC show "The Pretender which aired from 1996-2000.

The Great Pretender, the popular song originally sung by The Platters, but also covered by Dolly Parton, Sam Cooke, The Band, and Lester Bowie.

Of course, we must include Chrissie Hynde, James Honeman-Scott, Pete Farndon, and Martin Chambers. This is actually the originally line up for the famous rock band known for their songs "Brass in Pocket," "Middle of the Road," and "Back on the Chain Gang," as the band has changed members several times. I prefer the original version. I guess the rest were just, well you know.

WWeHarmony

Maria and Melina chatting about love makes for an interesting discussion, as Maria admitted that "I think I deserve a good guy for once." On-air, she has been romantically linked to Santino Marella and she kissed Snoop Dogg when he was Master of Ceremonies at the Playboy BunnyMania Lumberjack match at WM XXIV.

She also dated C.M. Punk while the two were in OVW. I would like to list the ways in which Snoop and Punk are different, but I have to get ready for the 2012 Olympics and I don't think I would be finished the list in enough time.

Maria and Melina crossed paths early in 2007 as Maria was attempting to interview Kevin Federline, adding him to the "deserve a good guy for once" list. Melina interrupted the conversation, slapping Maria and calling her a "bitch." Ah, love.

Tick, tick, tick

Jim Ross reminded us that "it takes three seconds to lose a match." Ricky Ortiz did a nice job of extended it to about 31 seconds, for those of you keeping track at home.

So special

Matt Hardy's surprise appearance provided a nice shock as he returned from surgery earlier than expected. Hardy joins a select group of people to attach the name "special enforcer" to their resume.

Mike Tyson served as SE at WrestleMania XIV for the Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin match. In 1998 at Capital Carnage, a Fatal Four-way with Austin, Undertaker, Mankind, and Kane needed a pair of Special Enforcers as The Big Bossman and Vinnie Jones stepped up to the challenge. Chuck Norris worked the same position in 1994 for the Survivor Series casket match with The Undertaker and Yokozuna.

By the way, there is no chin under Chuck Norris's beard, just another fist.

Eye to eye

If you watched Jeff Hardy closely, you could see what he was saying to Matt as his brother diverted his stare away from him. "You can't even look at me." "You can't look me in the eye." "You haven't changed."

I'm not positive, but I believe Jeff also said, "Matt, a little sun screen on the face won't kill you. Seriously."

The people have spoken!

Thank you to everyone who voted in this week's Smackdown Microscope poll. Although he wasn't receiving much love from the Smackdown crowd in the arena, Slam Master J is the big winner this week.

The man who was introduced to WWE audiences as Jesse Dalton is actually Terry Ray Gordy, the son of the legendary Terry Gordy of The Fabulous Freebirds. Although he would debut in WWE as man who befriended Festus and explained the big man's problems with ringing bells, he actually started in WWE developmental in a style similar to his current Slam Master J.

Wrestling as Ray Geezy, he teamed with the very conservative and well-spoken Damien Steele to form an unlikely tag team. He would later team up with Henry Godwinn, who was trying to return from years on injuries. Reverting to Godwinn's familiar overalls, Geezy became Cousin Ray. Although Godwinn was released from his contract, Gordy went on to debut with Festus.

The two enjoyed limited success until Festus was drafted to Raw and Gordy started to attempt to get in the good graces of Cryme Tyme, eventually reverting to his Ray Geezy ways, but taking the name Slam Master J, an apparent salute to Jam Master Jay, the famous DJ for Hall of Fame rap group Run-DMC.

On a final note, when Todd Grisham claimed that Slam Master J was "The Daddy Mac" and "The Mac Daddy," it brings to mind another rap group. Kris Kross had a hit song with "Jump" and were well-known for wearing their pants backwards. The group was made up of two teenagers named Chris. Chis Kelly was "Mac Daddy" and Chis Smith was "Daddy Mac".

"Mack Daddy" was also an album by Sir Mix-A-Lot, which featured the hit song "Baby Got Back".

Vinny Mac's Daddy was Vince McMahon Sr., who founded what is now known as WWE. He did not enjoy PEZ, but he liked big butts, and he could not lie.

Perhaps I shouldn't assume.

Lee Stevens examines Raw and Smackdown with "Under The Microscope." He misses the comments section. E-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com

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