By Richard Gardner, Torch specialist

"Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along.
Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
They're not even a real country anyway."
-- Extract from "Blame Canada" from South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut (1997)

The feud continued, as it has for the past twelve years. No I'm not talking about Triple H's rivalry with Randy Orton, although that certainly feels as though it has been going on for over a decade. If you watched Raw from Calgary, Alberta on Monday night you would know that America still hates Canada.

Except it doesn't. Not really. It's a work of fiction that only exists within the plot of the South Park movie and the mind of Vince McMahon. It worked in 1997, when Bret Hart cut the promo of his life setting him up as a heel in America but as popular as ever throughout the rest of the world. The idea of the company's top babyface turning on the fans and forming a gang sounds remarkably similar to Hulk Hogan's famous turn at Bash at the Beach '96 on paper, but in reality the United States vs. Canada slant was fresh. Twelve years on, and the WWE are still flogging this dead horse.

The truth is that Bret didn't really hate America; his mother was born in the U.S. and he holds an American passport. Americans and Canadians do not hate each other. But thanks to the events of Survivor Series '97 and contradictory crowd reactions at Summerslam 2004 in Toronto, every Raw in Canada seems to be booked around Vince McMahon's vendetta against one of the company's most loyal markets. Then there are the "bizzaroland" references that appear in commentary whenever a Canadian crowd doesn't follow protocol.

Chris Jericho, who is one of the hottest heels in the U.S., came out to a total babyface reaction in the opening segment on Monday night. It was understandable as he was one of the few Canadians on the show and has an affiliation with Calgary dating back to his training in the infamous Hart Dungeon. Instead of running with it, an angle was shot where Jericho inexplicably turned on the fans. This led to a mixed reaction in the main event, after the crowd had been so solidly behind him earlier in the night.

If you want to talk about bizarre, how about putting Shawn Michaels in a chef's outfit for his first appearance on WWE television since his classic match against The Undertaker at WrestleMania 25. Now, granted the reason for doing pre-tapes for Shawn's comeback was probably to do with the less than friendly reactions that he receives north of the border, but surely we could have been spared the idiocy of Shawn Michaels working in an office canteen and Triple H getting hit on by a 1980s gay stereotype? This was "The Search for Shawn Michaels," a woeful and timely reminder of the sort of bad comedy we're going to have to endure over the coming months.

You see, Shawn Michaels has been working in a kitchen for the past four months. That's right, a man who would easily be in the top ten legendary wrestlers that the company has ever had, needs to work a regular job to make ends meet. Or, to put it another way, a man who would easily be in the top ten legendary wrestlers that the company has ever had, feels the need to appear in lame comedy segments that only serve to tarnish his credibility. It's somewhat akin to when WCW booked Ric Flair to go to a mental hospital, except Shawn has enough power to turn down anything that would make him look this ridiculous. The segment ended with HBK administering the superkick to a prepubescent girl. Don't ask.

Meanwhile, back in Alberta, special guest host Sgt. Slaughter was heeling on the Canadian fans, for no particular reason. If defacing the Canadian flag wasn’t enough, Sarge brought out Jillian Hall to sing God Bless America. The coup de grace was the umpteenth Bret Hart tease, where Slaughter promised "the best there is, best there was and best there ever will be," but brought out Jim Duggan instead. Nobody fell for it except Michael Cole, who couldn't have less credibility if he broadcast Raw in a chicken suit every week. These segments didn't lead to anything anyways, making them even more pointless.

This has been the most lackluster build for Summerslam that I can remember, largely due to personal decisions clouding what's right for business. Jeremy Piven's movie, ZZ Top's back catalogue, Shawn Michaels and Triple H's attempts at comedy, and Vince McMahon's vendetta against Canada have all taken precedent over the WWE's second biggest event of the year. All signs are pointing towards Summerslam continuing the downward trend for WWE Pay-Per-View buyrates that was identified in the quarterly results last week.

You can't blame Canada for that.

This weekend marks the year of my writing for PWTorch.com. I'd like to thank Wade for giving me the opportunity to contribute, as well as James for his help and encouragement. I'd also like to thank anyone else who has provided encouraging comments over the past twelve months.

Thanks,
Rick

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