By Lee Stevens, Torch specialist

Thank you for joining me as we put Smackdown "Under The Microscope." This is not a complete recap of the show, instead it's a closer, usually offbeat, look at Friday's broadcast.

Cover Girl

The sign of the night goes to the non-Jeff Hardy fan stating his claim that "Real Champions Don't Wear Makeup." While I will certainly grant him the point that Hardy doesn't necessarily fit the rugged championship mold of Bruno Sammartino, Ed "Strangler" Louis, or Lou Thesz, Hardy isn't the first person to hold the belt in one hand and eyeliner in the other.

The Ultimate Warrior and Sting are perhaps the most famous "real champions" who wore makeup in singles history and, of course, The Road Warriors and Demolition add Tag Team Titles to the discussion.

Other qualifiers include Goldust, The Powers of Pain, The Headbangers, Kamala, Umaga, and even Insane Clown Posse if you count Juggalo Championship Wrestling titles.

A little extra time at the makeup table isn't a new proposition as it dates back to the 1940s. Gorgeous George was no stranger to makeup, whether you prefer George Wagner, the original Gorgeous George, or Stephanie Bellars, who used the name while serving as valet and girlfriend of Randy Savage. Technically, only Wagner would qualify for the list as Bellars never held a major championship.

Other wrestlers who registered with Revlon, but not reigns, include Doink the Clown, The Kiss Demon, and Blue Meanie.

Thank you Professor Bearded Person

The quote of the week may come from a surprising source as Mike Knox shared with us, "It's common knowledge there's 206 bones in the human body." Granted, his anatomy lesson went on to include the prospect of a great deal of pain, but it was still valuable knowledge, although I'm not sure how "common" it is.

I didn't know the total was 206 and I also didn't know that at birth, we have many more. In fact, the number is roughly 350, but as we grow, quite a few fuse together producing the more manageable number of 206. Also, the human skeleton makes up approximately 14 percent of a person's body weight.

Although there are 206 bones in the human body, dogs have about 318. The number of bones in a cat varies, as the number of bones in the tail can range from 14 to 28.

The number of "bones" on the Starship Enterprise was one. That doesn't take into account anyone's skeletal system, it's merely a salute to Dr. McCoy.

People I've never met for 500, please

Jim Ross offered up two names not usually reserved for Smackdown as he referenced Barry Melrose and Maria Sharapova. Melrose is a former NHL head coach and current Hockey Analyst for ESPN. He coached the Los Angeles Kings when they advanced to the Stanley Cup Finals in 1993 and most recently led the Tampa Bay Lightning, but was fired after just 16 games in the 2008 season.

Although Melrose is no stranger to physicality, such as the norm on Smackdown, Sharapova is a bit more random, until you look closer at the circumstance of the mention. Ross called Melina's scream, "the primal Sharapova", a homage to Sharapova's verbal tendencies on the court. Sharapova's noises were registered at 101 decibels during a match at Wimbledon in 2005.

As a reference, a jack hammer can measure at roughly 100 decibels and you can start to suffer hearing damage at 120 decibels. Leaves rustling come in at about ten decibels, while a jet engine clocks in at around 150.

You're going to make me count again, aren't you?

Every so often, I'll find an interesting historical fact about wrestling. Sometimes, I will be able to reference any number of pop culture events and bring it back to that week's show. At least two times during the past year, I've even been entertaining, but I know my weaknesses. Lists and numbers. So when Chris Jericho announced that he and The Big Show were "the only team to have 40 titles between the two of us," I knew what I had to do, but I also feared doing it. Please do not try this at home. Some assembly required. Consult your doctor if you experience a list lasting longer than four hours.

I've already confirmed Jericho's boast and reached an even higher number for the tag team. As for his most recent boast, I went with two obvious choices to start.

When they're not serving up grilled turkey and cheese sandwiches, Triple H and Shawn Michaels make up D-X.

-- Triple H
World Heavyweight Championship--5
WWE Championship--8
European Championship--2
Intercontinental Championship--5
Tag Team Championship--1

-- Shawn Michaels
World Heavyweight Championship--1
WWF/WWE Championship--3
European Championship--1
Intercontinental Championship--3
Tag Team Championship--4

Let's toss in a pair of AWA Tag Team Titles for our final total of 35 combined. Michaels has a few others from Central States Wrestling and the CWA, but they would still fall short of 40.

My other initial reaction was Ric Flair and anyone from the Four Horseman. First, let's look at Flair:

-- Ric Flair
WWF Championship--2
Intercontinental Championship--1
World Tag Team Championship--3
WCW World Heavyweight Championship--8
U.S. Heavyweight Championship--1
WCW International World Heavyweight Championship--2
NWA World Tag Team Championship--3
NWA World Heavyweight Championship--7
NWA TV Championship--1
NWA Mid-Atlantic TV Championship--1
NWA Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Championship--3
NWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship--4

With his 36 Championships, we might even be able to have success combining him with Paul Roma, but let's stick with our original thought.

Arn Anderson's Tag Team belts would push us over the magical number of 40, but in fairness, Anderson is probably best known for teaming with Tully Blanchard and not Flair, even though the two did team up together.

I'd love to hear your suggestions, past or present, but let's keep it to actual tag teams.

Finally

Just so we're on the same page...Vince McMahon thinks Teddy Long is presenting questionable shows, so Long is on probation.

Kane kidnapped Lita, during which time he impregnated her. He also has shown his contempt for authority by piledriving Linda McMahon and shocking the junior grapefruits of Shane McMahon. He was accused of improper relations with Katie Vick, although charges were later dropped. Now, he kidnaps another employee of WWE and he's still in good standing with the company.

Kane is a master of office politics.

Lee Stevens examines Raw and Smackdown with "Under The Microscope." He misses the comments section. E-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com

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