By Lee Stevens, Torch specialist

Thank you for joining me as we put Smackdown "Under The Microscope." This is not a complete recap of Friday's show, instead it's a closer, possibly offbeat, look at the broadcast.

Will Ross and Rachel make it work this time!?!? OMG!!

Before the show begins, I usually have a notebook to the right and a beverage of choice on my left. I nearly didn't get the tools of the trade prepared in time before my first surprise. The "new season" of Smackdown begins on October 2. I understand that they need to get the affiliates of MyNetworkTV excited, but it's tough to get too hyped up about a show returning when it never really left.

I certainly appreciate the dedication of WWE to have new programming throughout the summer with no re-runs (unless you count John Cena, Triple H, and Randy Orton facing each other again). One of the few negatives of that consistency was revealed with the "new season" announcement. In other shows, the new season means a resolution of story lines.

Who shot J.R.? ("Dallas"/Answer: Kristin Shepard)
Who shot Mr. Burns? ("The Simpsons"/Answer: Maggie)
Will President Bartlett survive being shot? ("The West Wing"/Answer: Yes)
Who wants another shot? (My freshman year at Shippensburg/Answer: I ended up with two freshman years)

Old friends

While promoting the "new season," we saw the likely suspects in The Undertaker, Triple H, and John Cena. We also got a solid share of The Rock, which is fitting since he probably said "Smackdown" more than anyone else even before the show premiered.

Some other faces included Billy and Chuck, during a happier time when love was in the air, The Dudley Boyz, Hulk Hogan, Eddie Guerrero, Linda McMahon, and Kurt Angle.

Would a T-square help?

Justin Roberts kicked off the show by introducing CM Punk as the "new and only straight edge World Heavyweight Champion in history," and Todd Grisham was quick to echo the sentiment. Words like "only" generally catch the attention of The Microscope, so let's look at our other options.

Triple H was the first to hold this particular title and he shares the honor of most reigns with Edge, who also held the belt five times. Triple H took advantage of a passed out Stephanie McMahon to marry into the family and Edge brags about being the "Rated R Superstar," so there are enough crooked lines to disqualify them as "straight edge."

Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio are well acquainted with the WWE Wellness Policy, whether justified or not and Randy Orton enjoyed a mandatory vacation without pay due to "unprofessional conduct." Suspensions are not straight edge.

Kurt Angle left WWE and revealed that he was battling a painkiller addiction. Punk has gone on the record about his dislike of painkillers. Just this week he mentioned that despite the brutality of his match at Summerslam, he took nothing for the pain. Despite sharing a last name with right, acute, obtuse, and even a version that's straight, this Angle is not straight enough.
Although Shawn Michaels is now a born-again Christian, he admits to less than "straight edge" behavior before his conversion.

Chris Benoit.

Moving on, we have King Booker, who, before he was royalty, was locked up for 19 months for robbing a fast food restaurant.

Batista's name was linked to an investigation of an online pharmacy and their role with steroids, plus he admitted to stealing cars as a teenager.

Goldberg was champion, but she's always stirring up so much trouble on "The View." That's not straight edge. It's probably not all that accurate either.

The Undertaker buries people, John Cena hangs out with thugs and discusses economics (or something like that), and Chris Jericho forgot to recycle once, which leaves just one man.

So, there you have it; C.M. Punk is not the only straight edge World Heavyweight Champion in history. The Great Khali's edge is straight too.

(Thus ends the longest set-up for a Great Khali joke in Microscope history. Celebrate accordingly.)

Get out of town

I fully understand the circumstances surrounding the C.M. Punk vs. Jeff Hardy match and we shall discuss the "Loser Leaves WWE" stipulation in a few minutes (or a few seconds if you skip paragraphs. Paragraph skipper), but I couldn't help thinking about Vince McMahon's reaction to Teddy Long happily agree to the conditions of the title match.

The Smackdown General Manager has been on probation for several months, although his infractions are vague, at best. I can't imagine that agreeing to a match which will end up in losing one of your top superstars will work to Long's advantage. If they're going to continue the probation storyline, I hope they'll make note of this detail to use later.

Everybody must get stoned

Drew McIntyre made the most of his short stint on Smackdown, quickly dropping R-Truth. This isn't his first appearance on Friday night, as he actually debuted in October 2007, teaming with Dave Taylor.

If after his ring introduction your first response was, "wow, he's skinny," he was introduced as "weighing 19 stone." The stone is roughly the equivalent of 14 pounds, so Mr. McIntyre tips the Scottish scales at approximately 266 pounds.

The People Have Spoken!

Thank you to everyone who voted in this week's Smackdown Microscope poll. Obviously, farewells were on the minds of Microscope readers this week as you voted to take a closer look at "Goodbye."

This week we said "goodbye" to Jeff Hardy, although he did temper the disappointment by adding that "it's not goodbye forever, it's only goodbye for now." In my opinion, the only negative for the entire night in relation to Hardy and Punk was that it wasn't promoted earlier than the first segment. I think Smackdown could have seen a ratings bump if fans thought that either Punk or Hardy could be leaving.

Taking a closer look, I have written in the past about the importance of using the real-life work status of wrestlers on TV. Too often superstars are given the world famous "wished well on their future endeavors" after the opportunity was lost. I'm not referring to someone like Sim Snuka who appeared on the website, but not on television, for weeks before quietly being cut. If someone is good enough to be featured on your show, they are good enough to receive a farewell, even if it's not a fond farewell.

Umaga was billed as an unpredictable monster, was a two-time Intercontinental Champion, and faced John Cena for the WWE title, yet he was quietly released after losing to C.M. Punk in a Samona Strap Match at Extreme Rules. Later, it was revealed that he violated the Wellness Policy, so I don't fault them for the move, but couldn't someone have benefited from the mistake?

I understand you can't have a "Loser Leaves Smackdown," "Loser Leaves WWE," or "Loser Leaves The Seat Up" match every time someone moves on, but if Umaga was the beast we were promised, someone giving him a beat down to force him out of action boosts the person who delivered him the beating.

Mr. Kennedy left under different circumstances, but with a similar lack of fanfare. A Money in the Bank winner and U.S. Champion, he was quietly released after his match back after returning from injury. Kennedy was probably known for his mouth much more than his in-ring work during his time in WWE, but that would have worked to someone's advantage too. The person who finally shut up Kennedy would get a boost from doing it, regardless of Kennedy being a fan favorite at the time of dismissal.

That's part of the reason I enjoyed Friday night's show so much. Jeff Hardy benefits by giving his all up to the very end. The crowd benefits by hearing from him before he goes. Punk can now boast that he was the one who finally rid WWE of the "living in the moment" lifestyle. Hardy also helped his brother Matt before he walked out the door by reminding the audience that "at least Matt is on my side."

Except for the crying fans in the arena (brilliant camera work or brilliant editing), there were no losers in this situation. I'm not insisting that it was perfect, but it was a strong example of how to use a potentially bad situation and make it into an advantage.

If Hardy decides to return, this time will off should serve him well. The Undertaker does it every year and seems to come back refreshed. The Big Show recently stepped away from the squared circle and appeared to benefit from the time off. Shawn Michaels also took a well-deserved break and although I don't necessarily think another D-X reunion was exactly what he needed upon return, it keeps a veteran fresh.

If WWE isn't going to allow regular breaks throughout the year, I wouldn't be surprised to see more superstars walk away and cross their fingers that they've built up enough credibility to return in good favor.

Carry the 5 (again)

Loyal readers of 'Under The Microscope' seem to understand several truths about me. One, I try to not take things too seriously. Two, I wanna rock right now, I'm Rob Base, and I came to get down. Three, numbers confuse me almost as much as lists. Numbers with lists really send me into a spiral.

Several weeks ago, we looked at Chris Jericho's boast that he and The Big Show were "the only tag team with 40 titles between them." First, a team of Microscope scientists proved that Jericho and Big Show had more than enough championships to reach the 40 belt marker. Then, the Microscope accountants (if you're going to have a fictional staff, I suggest having several departments), crunched the numbers to prove that D-X did not qualify, but Ric Flair likely would earn a spot in the "40 club" with any tag team partner of his choosing.

Microscope reader Craig Bursch also took the challenge and shared his thoughts. "My first thought was that Edge + Hulk Hogan would have to be over 40 major titles, but by my count, Edge + Hulk Hogan "only" have 35 major titles between them...not 40.
My second thought was that Edge + Chris Jericho must have more combined titles than JeriShow?

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