By WWS editor: Marc R. Warzecha, PWTorch Specialist

TNA writer and generally likeable guy Vince Russo has just recently begun answering fan questions on his Facebook fan page! WWS always strives to be the best fake dirt sheet within a real dirt sheet in wresting today, and thus brings you the most newsworthy exchanges from the Facebook site...

KARL: Who would your top five dream wrestlers in TNA be?

VINCE RUSSO: Randy Orton, Randy Orton, Randy Orton, Randy Orton, Randy Orton.

KARL: What do you think of Shelton Benjamin?

VINCE RUSSO: Never heard of him. Don't watch WWE.

KARL: You just said Randy Orton five times, though. He's in WWE.

VINCE RUSSO: Ahhh... right. Look, everything I write does make sense, you just have to pay attention.

KARL: I'm paying attention. That didn't make any sense.

VINCE RUSSO: Do you have any idea how hard my job is? I write 400 matches a year!

KARL: Calm down, dude.

VINCE RUSSO: If you think you can do it better, maybe you should apply for my job.

KARL: Is there an address that I can send an application to, or...

VINCE RUSSO: Next question.

CHUCKY SMITH: How can you have a DQ in a cage?

VINCE RUSSO: I guess you will never see a DQ in an MMA fight? Do you have any idea what it takes to book over sixty TV shows a year - trying to make each one fresh and different? I'm always innovating. In fact, I've booked a main event for this week's show that I've never booked before. It's a singles contest, with no stipulations, and it can only end with pinfall, submission, countout, or disqualification. I'm calling it, "a professional wrestling match."

ARTMAN: Right now TNA seems a lot like WCW of old.

VINCE RUSSO: I don't think it seems like WCW at all. A.J., Joe, Daniels, Morgan, Hernandez, Brit Invasion, Pope, Machine Guns - were any of those guys from WCW?

ARTMAN: Ah, no, but none of those guys are over.

VINCE RUSSO: (Note to self, delete previous exchange.)

VINCE RUSSO: Before I go, I want to "thank" all of you dirt sheet writers who have been posting my facebook Q and A's and criticizing them to death. It's stupid.

(24 PEOPLE LIKE THIS)

VINCE RUSSO: I mean, I only think about these answers for 5-10 seconds.

(24 PEOPLE UNLIKE THIS)

JASON: You only think about these answers for 5-10 seconds? Then what are we wasting our time reading them for? Thanks a lot, dude.

VINCE RUSSO: I meant to say that I'm writing five TV shows right now, so I'm very busy, and I've got stuff to do, and I'm better than you.

(167 PEOPLE UNLIKE THIS)

VINCE RUSSO: Actually, I meant to say that in my new book I go into a lot more depth on these things. And thanks to the dirt sheets analyzing everything I write for three days each, I'm getting a lot of free publicity for the book.

BOB K: The dirt sheets aren't plugging your book.

VINCE RUSSO: They're not? Damn, this is a waste of time.

HULK HOGAN: Is there anything that could possibly be done to get Dixie to replace you in TNA?

VINCE RUSSO: I'm sure this isn't the real Hulk Hogan, and no, I don't think so.

HULK HOGAN: This is the real Hulk Hogan.

VINCE RUSSO: Come on.

ERIC BISCHOFF: Just answer the question. Please???

Marc Warzecha is a professional comedian who has been on "Reno 911!" and worked years as part of Second City. Full IMDB details here. He writes a feature-length satire once a month for PWTorch Newsletter and "Breaking News" shorter satires for PWTorch.com when inspired. Email WWS editor Marc R. Warzecha: TorchWarz@yahoo.com.

[Vince Russo photo credit Wade Keller (c) PWTorch]

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt