By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist

Jack Swagger is shockingly the new World Heavyweight champion. Team Flair vs. Team Hogan is about to reach its apex. How are wrestling fans responding to all of this? With snores and drool on their pillows. Wrestling fans are sleeping on both WWE and TNA's product right now, and it's understandable. The "high" that was WrestleMania + HBK emotional retirement = new low for both companies.

-Raw was...interesting. It was almost like WWE bowed to the NCAA and said, "Fine. We won't compete. We'll take care of our feuds and wrestlers." Sheamus, Jack Swagger, and ShoMiz all got their pushes. David Otunga was featured heavily and he didn't even do a single move (nicely done). And John Cena was stood up twice on one night.

-Viewers have to be wondering what goes through Jack Swagger's head during promos. He's probably thinking, "Okay. Where's the camera? Okay. Don't look up. Don't cough. Don't even breathe! Ahhh!" Jack Swagger's moving to Smackdown because nobody could beat him. Santino would disagree.

I'm thinking that they're going to announce Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger for the World Title at the PPV. Randy Orton has that "mentor" label now: he helps bring young pups up. His program with Sheamus was somewhat fugly, but it got the job done. His Kofi program...not the best of situations. And now Randy Orton has to help convince fans that Jack Swagger is indeed World champion material.

I've been wondering why Jack Swagger has suddenly lost his smile and his swagger. Admit it, it's fun to say "All-American American" aloud. But now Swagger is doing his best cationic impression and being dooly dull on the mic. Why? Perhaps to get young fans to cheer Randy Orton when Ort and Swag lock up. Randy Orton is Marty McFly and Swagger is Biff Anderson.

-WWE girls are classy. TNA girls are trashy. But they're similar. How? Quick - name the current champion(s) in their respective divisions. Vickie Guerrero? Tara? Heath Slater? Just joking. I pay more attention to the Knockouts because they have "First Scrape" matches and play Let's Make A Deal with their title belt. Yes!

-According to Jerry Lawler, if you look Randy Orton in the eyes, you'll be paralyzed with fear from the deadly viper. So, Orton's the wrestling version of Medusa. Meanwhile I'm back driving the Randy Orton bandwagon. Hop on board and we'll stare at Orton's eyes together.

It was fun watching Randy Orton work. On Facebook, somebody sent me a message predicting Randy Orton would be traded to Smackdown after he won the gold from Swag. I don't know, I can't see Orton making his home on Smackdown. Batista, Cena, and Triple H are staying on Raw (don't really want Triple H on Smackdown again).

-In other news, Dolph Ziggler's sleeper hold shall be feared. You know it's dangerous because Matt Striker's voice goes three octaves higher and he foams at the mouth of just how deadly Ziggler's sleeper can be. I like the former male cheerleader Ziggler because he takes bumps hard. He's the kind of wrestler that will gladly throw himself into oncoming traffic or shoot himself in the face with a bazooka.

That's it for me. Thanks for reading.

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