By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist

"So what you cleaned your act up so far?
So what if I'm pissing into the wind, again?
Have you ever thought that I'm not who you are?
'Cause even when I lose I know how to win again"
-"Whiskey Hangover" by Godsmack

So, Smackdown is headed to Syfy. That's cool. WWE NXT a/k/a "The David Otunga Video Package Show" can go to the Home Shopping Network. The only bad thing about this is that the Syfy Network will probably demand Smackdown to have an overrun so that more people watch "Sexy Aliens from Hell 3." On MyNetwork TV, Smackdown always ended at the 1:57 mark.

At first, I thought Smackdown moving from MyNetworkTV was a loss for WWE, but, hey, they get a cool $10 million out of the deal and MyNetworkTV may be dead soon. Like Conan O'Brien moving to TBS, this seems to be a good deal.

-The last Impact was definitely more exciting that Raw, which seemed to be screaming out "our writers are burned out!" loud and clear.

Sure, Evan Bourne vs. Carlito went longer, but I've given up hope that Evan Bourne is going to get a credible push. I think one reason why many adults don't watch NXT is because they have no confidence that these guys have futures. Raw has a lot of young pups getting love (Miz, Sheamus, D.H. Smith, David Otunga) and viewers can feel confident that they'll see more of these dudes in the future. There's no reason to watch a NXT Rookie if he's gonna be canned soon.

-On Raw, the ShoMiz vs. The Hart Dynasty feud got going with a promo bit that I swear they ripped off from one of their video games. Next week, Bret Hart has to say aloud that ShoMiz is the greatest tag team of all time. Boring. Why not tease that Bret Hart has to kiss The Miz's feet?

-David Hasselhoff was steadily working through an impressive number of tequilas as the show went on. I almost expected a comedy skit with him eating a cheeseburger on the floor with Hornswoggle running in.

-David Otunga is really good on the mic. He has got presence and he just seems to get what WWE wants from him. As far as wrestling...well, he wrestled John Cena. Know how much WWE trusted Otunga? Otunga didn't land a single offensive move. Otunga resembled a sack of flour. There are some alarms when a guy can't even take a suplex correctly. (First suplex: "Ugh what was that, Otunga? Second one: "You're not supposed to land on your side.")

-I bet Sheamus just loves to say the word "fella." He's gonna have a street fight with that fella Triple H, who has disappeared. WWE street fights typically are not impressive, fella. I'm sure they'll brawl around for a while before Sheamus pushes Triple H onto a exploding baby carriage, fella. Matt Striker: "Oh my! Triple H landed on that baby carriage and now he's gonna be carried out on a stretcher! What must his wife be thinking? These scripted lines are so believable!"

I do believe Sheamus took that Kofi kick right on his pale head. Sheamus and Kofi going at it at the end did wake me out of my sleep...until Carlito talked to Kozlov backstage. Zzzz.

-So these losers, Carlito and Kozlov, are complaining that guest hosts are not giving them love. So Kozlov is going to hurt MacGruber e.g. WWE will create stupid MacGruber skits with Kozlov as the enemy. Why do I not have a good feeling about this?

-That's it for me. It's Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger for the gold at the PPV. Meh. I'm not sure I want to pay for that match. The standout of the PPV so far is Batista vs. John Cena. Smoochie smooch!

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

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