By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

If you are a WWE Superstar or aspire to be one some day, it's important that you follow the Official WWE Handbook on how to handle mainstream interviews. However, since they don't actually give you the book, you can learn by following what the biggest names do in their interviews.

Some of these rules are lame, but feel safe knowing you won't be challenged on any of this by the mainstream reporter, who is just looking for a few quotes to fill story he or she probably feels ashamed to have been assigned in the first place or is so enamored by talking to you he or she will buy anything you say.

RULE #1: WWE is NOT pro wrestling. Be sure to let Vince McMahon know, via your interview with the reporter, that WWE is "not pro wrestling, it's entertainment." Stress that you are a "Superstar," not a "pro wrestler." Proof is that you or a colleague (a) starred in a movie; (b) guested on a TV show (ideally on USA Network); (c) you or a colleague wrote a book; and (d) appeared on the cover of Playboy (actually, don't point that anymore - that's from the previous handbook before WWE went PG).

RULE #2: Listen to the corporate media conference calls and shareholder conference calls. Whatever Vince McMahon or another suit says, parrot it. Try to use as much "corporate speak" as possible, even if it no longer resembles sensible communication.

RULE #3: You don't do what you do for the money. You do it because you love being a WWE Superstar or "entertainer." Speak as often as possible about wanting to be a proud representative of the WWE product. If you must reference profits or money, use a sense of humor to talk about the "bean counters" or "suits" or "accountants at headquarters" or "people in charge of finance."

RULE #4: WWE doesn't have customers or fans. WWE has a Universe. Refer to the ubiquitous "WWE Universe" whenever tempted to say "our fans" or "our customers."

RULE #5: When stating a knowable fact, refer to it as "just speculation on my part" just in case what you're saying is a fact that Vince McMahon will have reason later to dispute due to legal or image-management reasons.

RULE #6: Learn the "catch phrase of the moment" and use it. For instance, currently the in vogue company line on the next PPV is that "anything can happen" in a four-way match. Repeat that company line as often as possible so a print reporter knows it's important to include it in the final version of the story. If doing live radio, say it just once as not to sound like you're trying to push a company line too hard.

RULE #7: Talk about wanting to be the best and how hungry and motivated you are, but never detail what it is you're trying to be best at or what you are hungry to achieve. Be vague in those respects, since we don't want a reporter to question whether you actually try to win matches and how that is actually out of your hands.

RULE #8: Whenever speaking of Vince McMahon, take the tone of someone living in a dictatorship who fears his leader, but also loves him. It is okay to joke about him in regards to something that doesn't undermine his power but shows he probably has a sense of humor about himself. Categories that are allowed: His suits, his hair (a little dated now), his walk, his athletic grace (but not his toughness). Stay away from: His being raised in the "Hillbilly South," his relationship with his wife, his relationship with Shane McMahon, his Federal steroid trial, his past admissions or inferences of using any drugs or substances now illegal or banned by the Wellness Policy, his temper, his mortality.

RULE #9: Whenever possible, make it clear you aspire to nothing more than being the best you can be and as successful as you can be within the confines of WWE. You want to come across as a "Lifer" to Vince McMahon, not someone looking to use WWE as a stepping stone or a path to other opportunities. Speak about being motivated to achieve, but only have goals that can be achieved under the WWE corporate umbrella. If you want to write a book, be clear it's a WWE-published book. If you want to be in movies, it should be a WWE movie. If you want to dabble in acting, be sure you are clear you hope WWE finds rolls for you that could also benefit WWE through further exposure and showing that "we are entertainers." Do not takes digs at The Rock for leaving WWE, for example, but stress in vague language that you don't plan to do what he did to the WWE Universe.

RULE #10: If you ever violated Rule #9, speak to Vince McMahon via your comments to a reporter and hope he gets the message that you wish to repent for your disloyalty to WWE.

RULE #11: Do not refer to the following: Concussions, Chris Benoit, Steroids, WWE's Drug Policy (it's "WWE's Wellness Policy"), Violence, Blood, Vacations, Unions, Pensions, Chairshots, Medical Insurance, TNA Wrestling, Spike TV, Dead Wrestlers, Congressional Investigations.

RULE #12: If you screw up and mention one of the above words, try your best to make it clear none of the above is relevant or a problem at all.

RULE #13: If you are relatively new to WWE, speak as highly as possible of the veterans and how great they are and how their dedication of their lives to WWE is admirable and how you aspire to be just like them and how their generosity is what will make that possible. Especially focus on complimenting Triple H whenever possible.

EXAMPLES:

This quote from Sheamus covers multiple rules, most prominently RULE #1:

"Like you said, there are WWE movies. That's why we call ourselves entertainment. We're not really considered pro ... We don’t like pro wrestling. People say, 'pro wrestling.' It's not really pro wrestling anymore. It is entertainment. It's Superstars and Divas. We have a global movie company. We've got a lot of publications. We're entertainers," Sheamus said. "But that's the whole movie situation. There are a lot of movies in the works right now. But for me? (laughs). It might be a little more difficult to fine me a role."

WWE COO Donna Goldsmith also covers RULE #1 here:

"The reason that we show you all these assets is I use this to make sure everyone understands that we are not considered professional wrestling. It doesn't give us the credibility we deserve. We are an entertainment company."

John Cena covers RULE #2 here:

"I think the championship itself is out-dated and gaudy. It was fine for the time, but it's certainly not what we need right now. I'm pushing forward to the evolution of that another step."

Ted DiBiase covers RULE #2 here:

"You know, it's nothing new to be honest with you. It's change. And that's the only thing that stays constant. Change. Over the years they continue to change things. It's just keeping things fresh. I like it. I think it will draw people in and I think it will create new avenues. New matches."

Jack Swagger covers RULE #2 here:

"It was very fast. Hopefully it says something about the confidence WWE has in me. I intend to prove to WWE and the fans that I am a champion, I am credible and I'm going to be here for a while. I wasn't surprised. I knew quite a while ago what I was capable of. I knew I could make it to the top and that I could be a player in the business. It certainly happened faster than I expected, out of nowhere, but it's time to shine."

Cena covers RULE #3 here:

Cena said WWE "made a business decision" releasing Danielson, but "at the same time, they can't deny good business. So if you get 200,000 consumers saying, 'Listen, we'd like to see this person on television,' I don't think the bean counters are gonna ignore the potential dollar signs."

DiBiase covers RULE #3 here:

"It's definitely not about the money or fame; it's about being good at what you do. I want to be the guy that everyone looks at and says, 'That's who I want to main-event WrestleMania with."

Cena covers RULE #4 here:

"I think what is right for the WWE Universe to do is show that they have a bit of power."

Swagger covers RULE #4 here:

"You gotta be yourself out there. Otherwise, the fans will see through you. Our WWE Universe is very smart, very educated these days and if they don't believe what you're saying they're going to tell you about it. And they're not going to accept it. So, a lot of it is me. A lot of it is amplified as well."

Cena covers RULE #5 here:

"I believe - and this is just my belief and complete speculation - that it has to do with violating our PG content agreement. It's very important for us to play within those guidelines. For us to violate that content, we'll get in trouble with our TV providers and sponsors," Cena said on the Busted Open satellite radio show this afternoon.

Sheamus covers RULE #6 here:

"I think sometimes when people see the same things over and over again, it just becomes maybe a little bit repetitive. And I think these pay-per-views are separating each other. You're not seeing singles matches all of the time. I think it creates that ... anything can happen in a four-way. There are so many variables that can happen in there, you know what I mean. It's not your standard one-on-one. It's the four top guys in each brand basically fighting to be the one. I think it creates a different scenario, a different backdrop, a different setting. To me, it's exciting."

Cena covers RULE #6 here:

"The reason the WWE came up with this concept is because they really want to place the emphasis on the fact that anything can happen on that one given night. And, it gives the top three competitors, rather than just the #1 contender, an opportunity to become WWE champion."

Sheamus covers RULE #7 here:

"For me there are so many hungry athletes or performers coming up. Like you watch all these new guys on NXT paying their dues and coming up. All these guys are just as hungry as I was. But I believe that I'm hungrier than everybody in the company. ... I never wanted to just say, 'Oh yeah, I'm a WWE entertainer, a WWE Superstar. It's great and I'm just happy to be here. I've always wanted to be the best in the world."

Sheamus covers RULE #9 here:

"For me there are so many hungry athletes or performers coming up. Like you watch all these new guys on NXT paying their dues and coming up. All these guys are just as hungry as I was. But I believe that I'm hungrier than everybody in the company. ... I never wanted to just say, 'Oh yeah, I'm a WWE entertainer, a WWE Superstar. It's great and I'm just happy to be here. I've always wanted to be the best in the world."

Christian covers RULE #10 here:

"I started on the road when I was 24, and I was on the road for eight years straight without a break. I was physically and mentally a little beat up, and just kind of needed some time away to heal up and have a little time for family and unwind and live like a normal person for a little while."

Miz covers RULE #12 here:

"I'm going to do it as long as it's fun. As long as I'm having fun, and I'm doing good, and I'm being successful, then I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing, no matter if my body is hurting or not. We're always hurting. It's a painful, painful job. We don't have an off-season, we don't have off time. We don't have the three months to heal our bodies, we just keep going and going. I love it" ... "After the concussions, obviously, you have to take an 'Impact' test to make sure you're okay to keep going. And until you pass the 'Impact' test you're not allowed to be back in WWE's ring."

Chris Jericho covers RULE #12 here:

"Chairshots aren't really necessary any more because we're more of a PG-13 product now that doesn't need that type of barbaric bashing of each other. The policy's been in effect for a few months now. You don't even notice the chairs any more."

Swagger covers RULE #13 here:

"The last year was really eye-opening. I had matches with Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, some of the guys I grew up watching like The Undertaker last Monday night. It was unbelievable; just an honor to be in the ring with him. You really have to sit back and enjoy what you have and sometimes it's hard to do. People lose sight of that. I stay very humble and enjoy every minute I have because it really is a life changing experience working with this company."

We suggest these recent related articles...

WWE NEWS: Superstars SPOILERS - Results from Chicago Raw

WWE NETWORK: Monday, Oct. 12 Schedule - Raw pre-show, Sting DVD preview

WWE NEWS: Lana & Rusev reportedly engaged - follow the interesting 2015 timeline