By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW TAKE
MARCH 12, 2012
LIVE IN CLEVELAND, OHIO
AIRED LIVE ON USA NETWORK

-It still bugs me that WWE took Jim Ross's voice out of the opening. It reflects poorly on Michael Cole because it suggests he didn't want fans to reminded of the guy he replaced who is much better than him (and I think Cole is a good, if not very good, announcer at his best minus the heel character).

-The Thuganomics theme song is such a throwback. I hadn't listened to that song for so long until coming upon it on YouTube a few months back. It's like looking through an old yearbook or old pictures where it just totally takes you back to another time in your life.

-Does a sleeveless basketball jersey add 40 pounds of muscle to someone's frame, or is Cena on the infamous WrestleMania Diet Plan?

-Quotebook - John Cena to Rock: "And after April 1st, you won't be making more movies. You're gonna need surgery on your face just like you got on your boobies. Those pecs, they had more work than a locker room full of Divas."

-Quotebook - John Cena: "Could we please have a week where you don't come out here and choke? You may be GI Joe this summer, but lately you've been G.I. Joke."

-Quotebook - John Cena: "I'm Mr. Kung Pao Chicken, you're just Miami Fried Chickensh--!"

-Cena "went there" with the gynecomastia surgery! I do have to say now that it's widely known there's real tension between Cena and Rock, Cena and Rock are likely to play into that because, well, if Rock put up a fuss and Cena pulled back now it'd make people assume he had a thin skin. So Rock pretty much has to be okay with almost anything, but he also is surely planning a big comeback if not this week, sometime before WrestleMania, to really redeem himself. And Cena will be okay with that happening as it means more buys and more money if Rock steps up and stops stumbling and stammering through his rebuttals.

-Good for Cena to bring up that Rock is losing the crowd, including noting that they were chanting "Tooth Fairy" last week.

-Did PG John Cena just get bleeped for swearing?

-Quotebook - Cena: "I may not have balls, but I have something in their place. I'm gonna beat your ass at WrestleMania and put my nuts dead in your face."

-Does Cena holding up a bag of peanuts make it PG to say he's going to put his nuts in Rock's face?

-And then Cole almost ruins Mike Tenay-style by saying, "That was attitudinal, to say the least." It's like WWE is trying to tell fans they're going back to the Attitude Era. I wonder if sponsors know that, or even care?

-The aspect of this Cena-Rock feud that isn't being talked about a ton is how much Cena is risking alienating the kids and women who buy his merchandise, which lines his pockets by maybe 3-5 million a year (and is the main reason he doesn't want to turn heel). The "nuts in your face" and swearing and general cocky thug smirk character that's surfaced may be real turnoff to the "Hustle, Loyalty, Respect" role model.

-Sign of the Night: "Explain GTV."

-Is Vickie trying to sound drunk now, and not just screechingly annoying?

-That welt on the back of Sheamus's back was nasty looking. Twenty years ago it'd have been used as evidence by wrestlers to prove pro wrestling matches were "real." Even Charles Robinson checked on his condition at ringside just in case.

-I love the double-meaning in Daniel Bryan saying "A.J. loves me, and the feeling's mutual." They both love Daniel, or Daniel loves her, too?

-Dolph Ziggler remains the wrestler who is best at taking finishers, by far. If I'm a wrestler, I want Ziggler taking my finisher. No matter what it is, he puts it over in spectacular fashion. That was also a finish that wasn't designed to bury Ziggler, but simply give Sheamus a big win by hitting his finisher out of nowhere after a competitive back and forth match.

-Quotebook - Jerry Lawler: "Look at that smile. Is it true he has a dentist for each tooth?"

-David Otunga is clearly on the WrestleMania Diet, too.

-When Mark Henry was introduced as David Otunga's partner against Santino, I would have put even odds on something happening leading to Santino pinning Henry, given the way Henry has been booked lately. Instead, though, he got the pin. Not exactly a huge comeback for his character, but better than jobbing to Santino. I still wouldn't consider Henry's position as one of 12 people in a big tag match at WrestleMania a satisfactory position for him consider where he was just four months ago, seen as a potential World Champion killer heel or even a wildcard opponent for Undertaker if Triple H didn't get the rematch.

-Quotebook - Miz: "I actually plan on getting an Emmy for my guest role on 'Psych.'"

-The acting in the Zach Ryder-Eve Torres-Beth Phoenix segment was like The Muppets or a kids show on Disney Channel, especially Beth's part of it. It felt so scripted. I'm not sure someone could intentionally act worst than Beth did, I assume, on accident.

-Glad to see they didn't mess with Brodus Clay's act since his last appearance. If anything, it looks like he's gained weight during his hiatus. Jinder Mahal's back to being squash fodder.

-Good line by Undertaker saying he's prepared to lose, but he's not prepared to deal with Shawn Michaels sticking his ego into the match's outcome. "If the outcome isn't pure, there will be hell to pay!" he said. Michaels: "Isn't it ironic I could possibly still be the guy to end the streak."

-I liked Taker grabbing Michaels's arm and telling him clearly and decisively that he will beat Triple H, continue the streak, and end an era, then telling Michaels if he doesn't do the right thing, he will officially end him. Michaels sold it well, a mix of being offended by the threat and concerned about the promise. The patronizing pat on the arm was a curious way to conclude the promo, though.

-That was the first promo in a while where Michaels wasn't the one casting a shadow of his eyes. Usually he's got the hat on, which started as a way to mask the condition where his eyes aren't aligned, but Taker is hiding his bald head with his hood, so it cast the shadow of his eyes this week.

-The Triple H cameo didn't do a lot for me, and the crotch chop seems ripe for the type of treatment that Cena has given Rock's schtick. It just seems like Triple H does it only because he has nothing new. Maybe James Roday (guest ring announcer, star of USA Network's "Psych") doing it in the next segment during his ring entrance will cause Triple H to totally abandon it.

Quotebook - James Roday: "Finally the White Guy from 'Psych' has found his way to Monday Night Raw in the city of Cavaliers." Even the mention of the Cavs wasn't enough to get him much of any kind of pop. He might have been cute in how he pronounced it.

-Quotebook - James Roday on Miz: "He is the most evenly-tanned, immaculately manscaped Superstar in the WWF today!"

-When Chris Jericho showed up on the big screen and taunted Punk, at first he sounded nasally and high-pitched like Evan Bourne. I did a double-take at first.

-The Jericho-Punk segment where Jericho "revealed" that Punk is "straight edge" because his dad abused alcohol got uncomfortable to watch, in part because of the subjectmatter and in part because you're just waiting for the segment to challenge Punk's acting ability. I wonder how much more effective it would have been if Punk smirked the whole time like Cena last week? I get the idea of wanting to add some heel heat to Jericho going into that match, but shouldn't the WWE Title being on the line be enough to sell a match at WrestleMania? It felt a little extraneous and needlessly heavy-handed. It does give Punk fans a sense that Punk is going to be out for blood against Jericho, though. Obviously, it was smart to have Jericho give that speech from the safety of the big screen and not in Punk's presence.

-If Cole says "attitudinal" one more time, I might boycott WrestleMania.

-Rock spent the first couple minutes kissing up to Cleveland, praising them for the largest sellout crowd in Raw history and saying they should chant "Cleveland" instead of "Rocky."

-Quotebook - Rock: "That guy who came out, that wasn't John Cena. The John Cena we all know is the guy who for the last eight years has been running around looking like what would happen if Vanilla Ice banged a Teletubby."

-Rock kept waiting for a chant to get started and gain momentum, and it didn't happen, and he gave up. Boy, you could tell he wanted a big chant to start there, but he couldn't risk seeming desperate and waiting any longer.

-Quotebook - Rock: "John Cena has a menstrual clock, but we're dancing because Cleveland rocks." More local pandering, enough to make Mick Foley blush.

-We finally got to accusations of infidelity in this little war of words. Of course, it was all storyline-based around the Eve kiss on camera, though.

-Yes, Rock was reading the lyrics. And no, that's not a bad thing.

-Rock asked if there were any grown men who were John Cena fans. That was a little risky given the direction of the crowds the last few weeks. But it was a smart risk, as it opened him up to make guys in the crowd feel insecure about admitting they're Cena fans. He accused them of never having a chance at having sex with a woman and being Trekkies. Cole laughed uproariously at Rock's lines, but I'm not sure if that helped. It seems that Trekkie and nerd and virgin jokes are a little played out, and are there really adult male Cena fans fitting that description running around at all the shows?

-It still seemed to me to be a muted reaction to Rock compared to the standards he has set in the past. He did get a pop for the line about having sex with Cena's mom. I could see Cena really acting ticked off about that next week. I can also hear Cena, with a smirk, next week saying the person laughing the loudest in Cleveland was Michael Cole, and he'd paid to laugh at bad jokes.

-He had too much pride to not revisit the Kung Pao Bitch joke that Cena disarmed last week. "The Rock came back to scratch a major itch, gonna make John Cena his Kung Pao Bitch," he said.

-By the end, the "We Will Rock You" song, as clumsily executed as it was by Rock, did get some of the fans to chant "Cena sucks!" And I can hear Cena also bashing Rock next week for needing the lyrics on the big screen karaoke style, and he still couldn't quite stay on beat. Will there be a P.N. News joke in there?

-I think Rock gave Cena more ammo and quieted the Rock supporters who were still in denial that he's just not the same Rock as he once was, for whatever reason. Rock got schooled by Hogan, and he might have thought he'd do the same to Cena in this feud, but he's coming up short. I just don't know…… To me, the crowd liked Rock, but weren't reacting to him like a mega-star returning home. The affection and excitement has been marginalized, and I don't know how much damage that has done to WrestleMania's marketability.

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