By Shawn Valentino, PWTorch Specialist

Merry Christmas, Torch readers! It is that most special time of year, where we all gather around the Christmas tree with friends and family and discuss our favorite wrestling memories. Well, maybe not, but this holiday season I’m sure all of us fans have a few wishes for Santa in the hopes that he would make our passion more enjoyable, or in TNA’s case, at least tolerable. In the spirit of the season, here is a wish list I would love to send old St. Nick to make the New Year a more memorable one to be a wrestling fan.

Dear Santa,

I realize that you know who has been naughty and who has been nice, and most of these boys and girls have not been very nice. However I have been good all year and put up with month after month of mediocre wrestling so you would make me very happy if you can please deliver the following.

For Vince McMahon: A new face character as the grand leader of the industry...and his old hairstyle back.
For Vince Russo: A new job doing anything other than what he is doing now.
For John Cena: A well-built heel turn...and wrestling trunks.
For Cody Rhodes: Kneepads.
For Hulk Hogan: Stock in TMZ.
For Ric Flair: A prenuptial agreement.
For The Rock: A better agent who can help him pick movies that don’t make me want to gag.
For Undertaker: A Brock Lesnar match for WrestleMania.
For Michael Cole: Character consistency.
For Jerry Lawler: A new role as part-time wrestler/ manager.
For Jim Ross: His old job back.
For Jeff Hardy: Proper rehab.
For Jeff Jarrett: A clue.
For Randy Savage: A long-overdue Hall of Fame induction.
For Shawn Michaels: A huge paycheck so we can actually get a good match on WWE pay-per-view again.
For Triple H: A management position....so he can stay off television.
For Randy Orton: A sense of enjoyment.
For TNA Knockouts: A bigger television slot.
For WWE Divas: A smaller television slot.
For Eric Bischoff: A higher bar because the current bar is so low.
For Kurt Angle: People in his life that care about his welfare.
For John Morrison: A WrestleMania briefcase.
For The Miz: A long run as champion to make the next title change mean something.
For Kevin Nash: A case of wine boxes for our entertainment.
For Rey Mysterio: A lighter schedule to heal his body.
For Darren Young: A good storyline to play off his Cena-like appearance.
For Wade Barrett: A new finishing move.
For Evan Bourne: A shot at the main event.
For Edge: His edge back.
For Sting: A WWE run to finish his career.
For Matt Hardy: A breathalyzer on his computer.
For Samoa Joe: A return to his no-nonsense badass character.
For Brock Lesnar: One more match!

Santa, I know there is not much going on in the North Pole during the year, and I am sure you are avidly watching WWE and TNA programming, so fulfilling these wishes will actually make your life merrier as well!

If any fellow fans have a list of wishes, please post it here or send it to Santa Claus or Shawn Valentino. Happy holidays, everyone!

Please seed questions, comments, and feedback to valentino.torch@gmail.com and check out my debut book, The Showstopper Lifestyle, on Amazon.com.

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