TNA Impact TV Report
May 3, 2010
"Hogan/Sting - The Summit"
Live in Orlando, Fla.
Report by Nick D'Achino, Torch Impact specialist

PRE-SHOW THOUGHTS

-The big news heading into this week's Impact is that, well, it’s the final Monday Night Impact, possibly ever. After not getting the ratings they were expecting on Mondays, TNA and Spike TV decided the solution would be to move back to Thursdays. I think they are really jumping the gun. The move may have been pre-mature to begin with, but after making the move, I think they should have given themselves more than a few weeks post-WrestleMania and post-timeslot change. When you really take everything into account though, it isn’t the worst thing in he world for TNA, as a promotion, even though it looks bad. They made such a big deal, rightfully so, about coming to Monday Nights and how it was the ultimate destination for TNA. Now, they have no choice but to try to sell fans that going bacl to Thursdays is some sort of promotion.

DETAILED RECAP
　
[Q1]

-They went to Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff in a limo. Bischoff said "his" plane touches down in seven minutes and it's going to be great. Hogan said all of the big fish are defecting, just as they planned it. Hogan said Ric Flair is going to "jump off the cliff" when he sees whom he presents his Hall of Fame ring to, although he didn't say the words "Hall of Fame." Hogan said that since Jarrett couldn’t seem to get the job done, he is going to call out Sting for his recent demeanor and turning on TNA. He is going to get answers. "Hold on for the ride."

-Tenay and Taz introduced the show at ringside. Wasting no time, Tenay announced that Dixie Carter announced to the TNA roster that based on the overwhelming feedback (lack of interest) from fans as it pertained to Impact on Monday, TNA is moving Impact "back home" to Thursday nights beginning May 13. They acted like it was some sort of privilege to be able to return to the timeslot they gleefully left in the first place. Tenay said that with the move back to Thursdays, Spike TV would go back to airing their TNA Reaction show, which aired once on Monday and then never again. Taz put over how good Reaction is. It was the best way they could have handled a tough situation, I guess.

-Ric Flair’s music played, but Jay Lethal walked out dressed in designer sunglasses and a suit to imitate Ric Flair. He had the ring. He imitated Flair on the way to the ring as well. He played it straight and did what I would call a spot-on impersonation. I believe this entire interview was lifted word-for-word from one of the original episodes of Nitro in late 1995, for those wondering. Lethal isn’t the only one with a WWE 24/7 subscription. The crowd chanted, "We want Flair!" The real Ric Flair made his entrance. Tenay said Flair may not be as amused as the fans in the Impact Zone. "Playtime might be over right now for Jay Lethal," said Taz.

Flair pointed at Lethal and looked upset. "You are standing in front of God right now," he said. He said nobody does that to him. He took off his expensive sunglasses and broke them. "You want to be Ric Flair?" Flair asked. Lethal said if he's upset about the ring, he can have it back. He immediately broke character and apologized. "From the bottom of my heart, I meant no disrespect," he said. "I just always wanted to do that. I always wanted to be the 'Nature Boy' Ric Flair even if it was just for two minutes.” Lethal said that his mother was probably watching with a tear in her eye, knowing that her little boy has made it because he's standing in the ring with "the Man, the Legend, Ric Flair."

Flair thanked Lethal for giving him the ring back. "Thank you for giving me back my most prized possession.” Oh, okay. Flair then told Lethal that it wasn’t going to save him from the wrath of God. He slapped Lethal several times. Flair yanked off his shirt, then slapped Lethal again. He yelled in Lethal's face that he is Ric Flair and he is wrestling. He said he can tell his mother that the greatest moment of his life turned into the saddest second of his life. He slapped Lethal again. Lethal slapped back, then chopped his chest and gave him the big backdrop right onto the microphone. If you're thinking that couldn’t have felt good, consider the fact that the man is 61-years-old!

Lethal put Flair in the figure-four leglock. Beer Money, Styles, and Desmond Wolfe ran to the ring and pulled Lethal off. They whipped Lethal with their belts. Abyss, Abyss, the least deserving title contender according to TNA fans, ran out for the save, but he was outnumbered. Team 3D ran out and tried to make the save. When that failed, RVD ran out with a chair and cleared the ring of Team Flair.

[Q2]

-They went back to the limo ride. Bischoff said they'd be there in 10-15 minutes. Hogan was excited. However, there was a buzzkill when Hogan got a text message and that told him something went wrong. Obviously someone told him what happened with Jay Lethal. He told Bischoff, "Machismo's an idiot. He was supposed to show it off, not show it to the world." In perhaps the strangest moment of the show, they then turned the limo around and left whomever it was they were going to pick up, and it was never mentioned again.

-Then they went back inside the ring where RVD, Team 3D, and Abyss stood. RVD addressed the heels who stood on the stage. He called them the Four Horses Asses, rather than the Four Horsemen. Flair said if RVD wants more, he's got it. Another brawl broke out with everyone. The heels got the advantage. At this point Hogan, somehow back already, came out on stage. Wolfe ran at him and Hogan hit him. When he got in the ring, Storm and Styles ran at him, and took turns bumping off feeble looking punches. By the end of it, Hogan had beating up everyone by himself. The same exact thing Hogan has been doing for decades now, only now we’ve got a whole new generation of wrestlers making fools of themselves for the guy's benefit. It came down to Hogan and Flair. They did their usual routine, until Flair bailed out of the ring, wanting no more.

-After the commercial break, the chaotic scene around the ring was still going on 30 minutes into the show. Russo overbooked and ran over time with one segment over ten years ago in WWF with the "This Is Your Life" segment and it happened to do HUGE ratings, and he’s still trying to re-create it in 2010. Hogan got on the microphone said TNA is the best thing going today. That’s starting to ring hollow. He said the TNA fans want action and that's exactly what they're giving them. He then booked Wolfe in the match against RVD. He also signed A.J. vs. Abyss in a Monster's Ball match. He didn't explain what that meant either. He also booked The Motor City Machineguns vs. Beer Money vs. 3-D.

-They showed Sting walking in the rafters. Why did WCW never think to put a camera up there with him when he originally went missing?

[Q3]

-The Beautiful People were backstage “preparing.” They talked about the upcoming match where all the Women’s titles would be on the line in a tag match. Not again…

-Douglas Williams was in the ring with Brian Kendrick, who still has received zero character development despite pretty much being a regular on Impact now. Williams was wearing the X Title belt he was stripped of. That had to confuse some people. He ran down the story of why he was unfairly stripped of the title. All his points were valid. Why would anyone cheer any of the X-Division babyfaces over Williams? He’s more entertaining by leaps and bounds, and he had the title unfairly stolen from him. He then complained about being forced to team with Kendrick, whom he called a “lunatic.” I thought perhaps that was a tidbit of character development for Kendrick, but Kendrick took exception to it, so I guess he isn’t actually a lunatic and Williams is just spouting off at the mouth. Williams said he would beat Kazarian at the pay-per-view to prove once and for all who the REAL X-Division champion is. If there was ever time for a ladder match, you’d think this would be it.

1 -- DOUGLAS WILLIAMS & BRIAN KENDRICK vs. INK, INC. (Shannon Moore & Jesse Neal)

Matt Morgan, the tag-team champions, joined Tenay and Taz for commentary. I’ve pretty much given up all hope of TNA giving any real focus to the tag division. Right now, it’s just a one-note joke for Matt Morgan’s gimmick. Bischoff and Russo admittedly hate tag teams (unless they are two enemies, in Russo’s case), and I’m not sure exactly how Hogan feels, but he made his career as a singles wrestler. As for the match, Neal held his own in there with two very good athletes. On commentary, Morgan gave Hogan seven days to make a decision on who his partner will be at Sacrifice. Of course, the next Impact airs in ten days next Thursday. Moore hot-tagged in at 3:00 and rallied against Kendrick. Williams bailed on Kendrick. Neal speared Kendrick and scored the pin.

WINNERS: Ink Inc. at 4:30.

STAR RATING: *1/2

-Afterwards, Kendrick confronted Williams. Williams slapped Kendrick. Kendrick chased Williams up the ramp. Samoa Joe came out and just destroyed everybody. Wonder how much longer this can continue until he runs out of guys to beat up. Tenay said we still didn't know who was behind that abduction several months ago. That’s because the writers themselves are still trying to figure it out. Joe grabbed the microphone like he was about to talk, but then threw it down and walked off.

[Q4]

-There was an argument going on in Team Flair’s locker room. Flair told Borash to get out, but the camera still caught a sneak view of Flair chewing out Styles and the rest of the guys.

-They went to Tenay and Taz at ringside who talked about the Hogan-Sting summit. Tenay said they deserve an explanation. Taz said he didn’t think so, but had no reason why. They then moved on to talking about the TNA fan voting. Taz said that "believe it or not," Desmond Wolfe got the most votes, and therefore would be getting a title match.

-They cut backstage to Mr. Anderson was beating up "Pope" Dinero. Dinero was moving very gingerly, as he has legit injuries. Anderson rammed a cart into to Pope several times. Anderson was wearing a choirboy outfit while doing this. He then put on Pope's sunglasses and walked away. The camera showed Pope knocked out cold below. Typical of pro-wrestling. A guy has legit injuries, so they do a fake attack to give him storyline injuries that no one believe are real.

-Anderson stood in the ring. Taz said they had Hardy scheduled to be there, but Anderson stole the spotlight. He told the members of his congregation not to judge him for his beautiful attire. He said he stands before everyone at a loss for words as the crowd chanted, "You suck! You suck!" He said. "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they speak." He said he had a sermon planned, but as his music hit, he had an epiphany. The crowd chanted, "We want Pope! We want Pope!" He said for unforeseen reasons, The Pope would not be able to join them. He said that when he dies, he will not go to Heaven, but he will instead burn in Hell. Jeff Hardy's music then played as he made his entrance.

[Q5]

Hardy put over Pope saying that "The Congregation and the Creatures of the Night are one in the same." He said Pope won't be able to wrestle tonight, next week, or even at Sacrifice because of what he did to him. Hardy challenged Anderson to a match at Sacrifice. Anderson asked if he's challenging him in his ring. He said he can't do it because he has something going on that night. Crowd chanted, "Take that dress off!" Anderson got tremendous crowd heat in general. Hardy gave Anderson a Twist of Fate and stripped off his outfit. Knowing he was going to get stripped, he decided to wear skimpy black underwear that said, "Speak in..." on the back and "Mic" on the front. Such a showman. Hardy then went over to Anderson and made him look like he agreed to Hardy’s challenge. Anderson got up and seemed embarrassed to be seen wearing his underwear.

2 -- Knockouts tag champions LACEY VON ERICH & VELVET SKY & Knockouts champion MADISON RAYNE vs. TARA & SARITA & TAYLOR WILDE

Tara spit on Sarita early, then tagged her in a minute later. Wilde entered next and Sarita flipped her onto Sky. Tara wanted Wilde to tag her, but she tried to tag Sarita. Tara blocked the tag and came in herself. Sarita then tagged Tara's back to officially enter. Wilde pushed Tara, causing her to knock Wilde out of the ring. The Beautiful People then hit a double-DDT'd to Sarita for the pinfall Totally void of any worthwhile action.

WINNERS: Beautiful People at 3:00.

[Q6]

-Tara did a shoot promo about how she isn‘t respected by TNA management despite being the best female wrestler they have. She challenged Rayne to a title match at Sacrifice because the only time she gets respect is when she has the title around her waist. Christy Hemme asked why management should give her the shot. Tara said she'll put her career on the line. It’s times like this that I wish you could bet on the outcomes of pro wrestling matches.

3 -- TEAM 3D vs. BEER MONEY INC. vs. MOTOR CITY MACHINEGUNS

They did a hot tag about two minutes into the match, so you knew this wasn’t going long. Scott Hall and Kevin Nash came down to the ring, and the ref called for the bell. Hall and Nash attacked Team 3D. Tenay said that the attack on Sean Waltman last week was so brutal that he may never return to TNA. Eric Young ran out with a kendo stick. Rather than attacking Hall and Nash, Young attacked Team 3D and revealed himself as the new member of The Band. SWERVE. "You've gotta be kidding me…" said Tenay. My thoughts exactly. Shelley and Sabin decided to get involved at this point, and went after the trio. They cleared the ring of Hall and Nash. Beer Money then came from behind and hit the DWI. Nash put his arm around Young, and they left together.

WINNERS: No contest at 5:00.

[Q7]

-The O-Zone interview segment debuted with Orlando Jordan. He walked out, looking very, well, gay. He said this is the segment where he does and says anything he wants. He rattled off a bunch of catchphrases like, "One size fits all, batteries not needed," and "Don't worry, it'll be our little secret." He said he has a little freak in him. He introduced his first guest, who also happens to be a freak of a different nature, Rob Terry. He turned and interviewed a cardboard cutout of Terry. "I thought I had an amazing body and some amazing bulges," he said. Taz and Tenay acted uncomfortable. Jordan asked the cardboard whom he fantasizes about at night. He pretended to hear Terry tell him that he fantasizes about him. "Wow, I'm honored." Jordan has no real charisma so there was nothing funny or entertaining about this, which it actually could have been. Then again, few men can make interviewing a picture or cardboard cutout entertaining, and Orlando Jordan is no Chris Jericho. Rob Terry had enough of this, and ran on the scene. He attacked the cutout, God knows why, and knocked Jordan onto the couch. He turned his back and held up his Global Title belt. Jordan attacked him and choked him with a chain. Then, he dropped part of his set over Terry. This was bad, but not as memorably bad as I was expecting it to be, so that was disappointing. At least they didn’t cut away from Jordan mid-segment this time.

-Tenay and Taz reacted briefly to the odd Jordan's new interview segment.

4 -- A.J. STYLES vs. ABYSS - Monster's Ball Match

They made no effort to explain what Monster’s Ball was, apart from Dave Penzer saying in his introduction that "weapons are legal and encouraged." Abyss brought a trash can full of weapons to the ring. That used to get people so excited. Styles jumped off the ropes toward Abyss, but Abyss caught him and threw him out of the ring. Abyss lifted up a crutch, but Styles kicked him. Abyss swung a chair, but Styles avoided It. Abyss went for another swing, but Styles ducked and hit the Pele kick. Styles followed up with a dropkick. Abyss whipped Styles a minute later into a chair wedged in the corner and Styles did a crazy bump into it. Abyss hit the Shock Treatment. Styles kicked out at two-and-a-half. Abyss poured thumbtacks onto the mat. Flair came out, apparently to put a stop to this. Chelsea distracted Abyss, allowing Styles hit him from behind with a chair. Styles then gave Abyss a cross-body block and Abyss bumped onto the tacks. Styles then scored the pin. Chelsea entered the ring and smiled, having successfully distracted Abyss. She opened her raincoat briefly revealing a sexy black dress. Styles and Flair double-teamed Abyss as they cut to a break. In the end, I was relieved Flair didn’t end up getting thrown onto the thumbtacks.

WINNER: Styles at 4:00.

[Q8]

5 -- TNA World Hvt. champion ROB VAN DAM vs. DESMOND WOLFE -- TNA World Hvt. Title Match

This came off as something done out of bitterness toward the fans for picking Wolfe. He got no entrance. It's just so inefficient. A TNA Title match should be hyped for at least a week ahead and there should be more fanfare when a new challenger is officially announced. Wolfe got an early advantage on RVD, but RVD made a comeback and hit Rolling Thunder. Wolfe set up the Tower of London off the top rope, but RVD blocked it. RVD hit a sidekick off the second rope. Wolfe charged at RVD, but RVD flipped him out of the ring. RVD then hit the Five-Star Frog Splash for the win. Styles ran out and jumped RVD, then held up the TNA Title and looked at the camera. He said that he was “cashing in” his title shot at Sacrafice.

WINNER: RVD at 3:30.

STAR RATING: * - These two could have a really good match someday if allotted the time to have it, but this wasn’t it.

-Before the commercial break, they showed Hogan backstage tending to what appeared to be an injured Jeff Jarrett. He said it was Sting who attacked him. Hogan left to go take care of business.

-So it was time for Hogan-Sting, “The Summit”, you know, because they can’t wrestle each other at this point in their careers. Or can they? So, it was time to talk instead. Hogan walked to the ring. Tenay said the tumultuous relationship between Sting and Hogan goes back to the "WCW days." Yes it does, but unless they are going to acknowledge and play into that history, I’m not sure what the point of mentioning that was. Taz wondered whom Hogan and Bischoff were going to pick up at the airport at the start of the show before turning around. Hogan said he wanted to quote one of his favorite wrestlers about things that are "real, damn real."

Sting made his entrance. Taz said Sting pulled him aside earlier and said he was going to break his silence tonight. Was Taz up in the rafters? If so, what was he doing up there? He doesn’t exactly strike me as an investigative reporter. Hogan said they say you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but he's been around too long to be fooled any of the time. He asked him what makes him tick.

Sting said what makes him tick is Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. He said his agenda never changed. He was there for the fans. He said his goal is to give back to the sport of wrestling "that I love so much, especially TNA because I love this brand - T-N-A!" He said when he thinks about all of those years when he was in the WWF, Hogan had a veil and canopy of protection over him all the time. He said that Hogan got the same sort of treatment in WCW. In TNA however, Sting says Hogan doesn’t as much authority and protection. Despite running around essentially as the G.M. for the past several months, booking matches.

Hogan interrupts Sting, and says that he can't go around and attack people from behind. Especially not Dixie Carter, "the lifeline of this company." Hogan said he has blood on his hands. He said he just left Jarrett lying in the back. "Is that what makes you tick?" Sting did a forced laugh. He said if Hogan wants to play games, it's his move. He put his bat up to Hogan's chin. Hogan told him to take his best shot. He challenged him to try to put an end to him. Jarrett, obviously frustrated at Sting’s lack of explanation, walked out to the ring and hit Sting with the bat. Answers, Sting, answers! Hogan cut off Jarrett from hitting Sting again with the bat. Tenay hyped, "We'll see you May 13 when TNA moves to Thursdays!" With that, Impact went off the air. Sting either does not know how to do a heel interview, they somehow purposely aren’t trying to position him as a heel, or he just flat out refuses. For the life of me, I can’t figure out which it is.

POST-SHOW THOUGHTS

-With the main event angle between Hogan and Sting, I got the impression they really wanted to advertise Hogan vs. Sting (WCW, anyone?) but because Hogan can’t wrestle, they had them meet in the ring and “talk.” Having Hogan and Sting on-screen together is almost certainly going to draw some fan interest from now until the end of time, but no one who decided to stick around for it could have possibly been pulled into what they were talking about. It has Russo/Ferrara fingerprints all over it.

-This Impact was back to that Russo formula of focusing on angles, and making all matches irrelevant by keeping them within three-to-five minutes, and not giving some of them finishes. A proven failure.

-RVD practically squashing Desmond Wolfe in three minutes was pretty much how I expected them to handle a guy who they didn’t want to win that poll, but felt had to get the title shot to save face. Take note of that next time fans, and don’t vote for scrubs.
-As of Wednesday, fans have not taken note, and Wolfe is running away in the new poll, yet again. I can’t wait to see how they handle that one.

-I still have Impact being better than Raw most weeks (post-Wrestle Mania), but it doesn’t matter. TNA is so far behind the WWE in terms of fanbase that Impact has to be SIGNIFICANTLY better than Raw, and for a long stretch of time. Any delusion shared by those in TNA about being at ‘WCW” level yet have hopefully been dashed with them being sent back to Thursday nights. The show itself wasn’t necessarily a bad or “below average” show, but the poor direction things seemed to move in definitely brought it down a few notches. Perhaps Eric Young has a good reason for aligning with The Band (and The Band for aligning with Eric Young), after being ambushed and having a blood feud with them, but most likely it was just a swerve for the sake of a swerve. The ship has sailed on renaming them by the way.

-This whole two-month stretch is ultimately going to be remembered as a disappointment. They needed to put their best foot forward on Mondays. Their “house” was not in order, they had no real vision or plan originally, and it showed. They should have spent the past four months getting their stuff together on Thursdays, not head-to-head with Raw on Monday. Perhaps now they can focus on converting the viewers that they have into pay-per-view buyers, instead of forever searching for that perfect timeslot, or day of the week that will magically get viewers to watch and enjoy their show.
　
WHAT WORKED

- Mr. Anderson. This is exactly what TNA needs to put more focus on - guys who are fresh enough that you look forward to seeing each week to catch what they are going to do or say that you haven’t seen yet. Anderson has definitely been one of those guys since he has arrived in TNA.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK

- Giving the top focus to the Sting-Jarrett feud. Removing these guys from television would be an honest-to-goodness case of addition by subtraction for the overall direction of TNA, and it’s not like it would even affect the ratings even briefly either. Sting is a has-been at this point, and Jarrett is a never-was.

- Short, meaningless matches. Like most people, I was hoping that TNA was beginning to get away from this philosophy, but apparently not. Presenting this type of television off-and-on under Vince Russo for the past several years is a huge part of why TNA’s pay-per-view business - where they sell you matches and what the television shows are supposed to be built around - have been in the dumps.

- Ranking System. A good idea in theory, but this certainly hasn’t panned out in practice. They decided to conduct a legit fan poll, and go on the results. When the fans surprised them and voted for Desmond Wolfe, which actually makes sense as a heel opponent for RVD that he hasn’t faced yet, they appeared to panic, and send Wolfe out there to get squashed. I'm not crazy about the idea of having fan votes determining title matches to begin with, simply because its another display of a lack of vision and focus for what they want to do, so they want you the fans to decide for them. Or, so they think, until the fans vote for someone they are not expecting.

Thanks to everyone who has given me feedback on my Impact reports. As always, let me know what you thought with an email to nick.dachino@yahoo.com. Thanks for reading.

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