By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
JUNE 3, 2010
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

[Q1]

-The show opened with a video package on Mr. Anderson's feud with Jeff Hardy, plus clips of the "madden intensifying" between Sting and Hulk Hogan, such as it is. The narrator asked, "What mind games will be played tonight between Icon and reigning champion?"

-Pyro blasted and Mike Tenay and Taz introduced the show. Tenay plugged the Sting vs. RVD main event at Slammiversary. Tenay shot Taz those creepy looks as if Taz was a mortal enemy who wronged him but was forced to sit next to him. Taz speculated on whether Anderson has a nefarious agenda when it comes to offering his hand to Hardy.

-Sting came out for a live promo. Sting said that "not everything is as it seems." He said there's a lot of smoke and mirrors going on right now. "It's like everything's gone a little Hollywood, no pun intended." He said what is black is white and what his white is black. He said at times he's been labelled the antagonist and he doesn't owe anyone an explanation. He said he can promise there is meaning behind his actions and those meanings will be known to everyone involved including the fans. He said Slammiversary is just ten days away and since Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Dixie Carter wanted change, he's going to give it to them. He said RVD is just in his way, no hard feelings, but he plans to become champion and then reveal everyone's true colors. The lights went black and a video package aired of Sting attacking Jeff Jarrett, RVD, and Bischoff.

-Bischoff walked onto the stage with the "post-mid-life-crisis" eye-candy on his arm. (Didn't he turn babyface, so shouldn't he lose the arm-ornament?) Bischoff had a crutch. He said he's known Sting for almost 20 years and he isn't the man he thought he knew. Should Bischoff really be the person trying to cement Sting as a heel? Hasn't he been Sleazy E most of the last few months, not to mention 15 years, that this type of promo from him just adds ambiguity to Sting's turn. Bischoff said superheroes don't act as Sting has with chairshots and blind attacks. He said his issues aren't really with TNA. He said he and Hogan aren't his problem, Sting is his problem, because he puts himself in front of everyone else in the company. He said he and Hogan aren't about that. They put the fans and the company first. He said fans want to see him wrestle, so they're going to put him in action right now. He said his opponent is standing right behind him. Samoa Joe stood behind him. When Sting turned, Joe punched him to jump-start the match.

Joe kicked and punched Sting in the corner with rapid aggressive offense. Matt Morgan entered the ring and jumped Joe from behind. The "match" didn't last long. RVD's music played and he made the save, spin kicking Morgan. Bischoff walked onto the stage and said this isn't over. He said the match will continue later tonight, but it'll be tag team action. He told Sting that Joe will team with RVD against him and Morgan. RVD said he thinks he should instead make it a four-way match instead of a tag match. Bischoff said he doesn't the authority to change that match. He has to check with Hogan. So he had time to check with Hogan during the time that Morgan and RVD ran out to end the Joe-Sting match before he booked the tag match that RVD wants to change.

[Q2]

Hogan walked out right away and told RVD he's "raised the bar" since winning the TNA Title. He said since he's the champ, he gets some stroke, "and that being what it may, without a doubt brother, you got your way, dude, it's a four-way." Bischoff smiled. [c]

-Christy Hemme interviewed A.J. Styles backstage. Styles said he was upset that he just found out he has a three-way match against Kazarian and Jay Lethal. Ric Flair walked in. Styles asked why he just found out about the match. Kaz walked in and thanked Flair for all of the faith he's shown in him lately. Kaz then thanked Flair for the watch as a gift. Styles looked on in jealousy.

1 -- ROSEY LOTTA LOVE vs. ROXXI

They showed a clip of Rosey injuring Daffney a few weeks back. She's a plus-plus-sized woman wrestler who likes to slap her butt and play with her drag-queen like hair. She set up Roxxi for a splash in the corner, but Roxxi moved. Tenay said they'll have to replace the turnbuckles. Oh, I get it. Because she's fat. This is like making fun of the circus fat lady. Madison Rayne hit Roxxi from behind with her title belt. Then she yelled at Rosey to put Roxxi. Rosey hesitated and Roxxi rolled her up with a "big package," according to Taz. Rayne chewed out Roxxi afterward, so Rosey lifted her and slammed her hard to the mat with a released chokeslam.

WINNER: Roxxi in 1:00.

-Jeremy Borash interviewed Rosey at ringside, who said she's "big, bad, and certainly beautiful." She said she'll take every single one of the Beautiful People out. She then kissed Borash who managed to temper a chance to be overly cheesy at a slapstick moment. [c]

[Q3]

2 -- A.J. STYLES vs. KAZARIAN vs. JAY LETHAL

Taz said Lethal is an opportunist. He said he wasn't on the radar a few months ago, but now Hogan, Bischoff, and Carter have discovered the passion he brings. He said he's looking good and making an impact lately. Taz said Flair doesn't care whether it's Styles or Kazarian who destroys Lethal. Kaz dropkicked Lethal in the middle of his Lethal Combination on Styles. Styles and Kaz argued a bit afterward. Lethal took them both down. Lethal shoved Styles out of the path of Lethal and then gave Lethal a Diamond Cutter. Styles got upset at Kaz and gave Lethal a backbreaker. He asked him to try to top that. Kaz gave Lethal a high armdrag into a neckbraker, then celebrated. They continued to try to one-up each other to impress Flair. Styles told Kaz to back off because he was in control. Kaz wouldn't back off. They argued. Styles then went for a springboard flip onto Lethal, but he sllipped on the top rope. Kaz had backed into the ropes with his arms crossed as if to just sit back and watch. Styles blamed him. Lethal rolled up Styles from behind for the win. Tenay said that proves Lethal is on a roll as he just pinned the former TNA World Champion. Does Tenay really expect viewers to see that as anything other than a fluke win rather than a sign of some sort of "roll" he's on?

WINNER: Lethal in 4:00.

-Flair told Styles he gave him the gift of being his protege, but he just got beat by Lethal. Styles pointed at Kaz said, "Because of him." He's confused and lacks focus. He said he needs to go home and regroup and decide who he needs to be. He said he's not in his good-graces, so "you're gone." He told him to leave and get back to him on what he wants to be. Flair added, "When Ric Flair gives you that gift, you don't drop the ball, brother." He then told a "fat boy" to keep his mouth shut. Styles told Flair he shouldn't be with Kaz. Kurt Angle popped up from a lift in the ramp as his music played. He stared at Styles. Styles just stormed to the back in a fluster. Angle then walked to the ring as they cut to a break. [c]

-Angle told Kazarian that he came out there to show him his proper respect "before I make you my first victim." He reminded him that Kaz is the no. 10 contender, and he likes his opponent to know what he's going to do to him before he does it. Flair took offense that Angle walked right by him and didn't even say, "How ya' doin' champ." He said they have a lot of history. He said he told Angle years ago he wanted his son Reid to be just like him, the greatest amateur wrestler in the history of the United States. He told Angle to make Reid a man when he was 12 years old. Angle told him he would be glad to. Flair said his son respects him like no one else in the business. He said nobody in amateur wrestling has caught on to professional wrestling as well and quickly as he did. But he said tonight he doesn't feel that he understands that they're talking about his world, pro wrestling, not amateur. He said whatever Angle was as an amateur, he's ten times more as a pro. He said in the eyes of the fans and wrestler "I am God." He said he has gold medals worth more than Angle's. He showed off his Hall of Fame ring and a gold watch. He said he needs Shawn Michaels's respect, Hulk Hogan's respect, and Sting's respect. He said he's a big fan of Angle, but unless he feels respect, he should "hit it, just like A.J." Flair repeated, "God! God! God!" while pointing at himself. He told Angle to bow in his presence. "I've been World Champion more times than you've been down with different women," he said. He again told him to "hit it." He said, "Don't make me take off my sport coat." Angle kept staring him down. Flair let out a "whoo!" then said he won't tell him again. Angle turned and began to leave the ring. Flair then called him back into the ring.

Flair said he wants the fans to understand just where he is in his world. He said he will leave first and Angle should hold the rope open. "Then we might be on the same page," he said. Flair walked to the ropes and waited for Angle to open them. "Show these fans how much respect you have and are going to attain in months to come. Hold the ropes now." Angle did it. The crowd wasn't sure what to think. Flair began to strut his way up the ramp, but Angle threw Flair off of the ramp. Kaz jumped Angle from behind. Angle fought back and Kaz bailed. Flair threw his sport coat at Angle in anger. Angle threw it back at Flair. Flair stomped on it. Good segment.

-Backstage Morgan approached Sting. The sneaky camera caught him telling Sting that they share in common that they'll do anything to win the World Title. He said they should go out there and act as a team and let the chips fall where they may afterward. Sting said nothing and walked away.

-Tenay hyped the four-way main event. [c]

-Styles was shown having an introspective breakdown backstage. Will fans bond with a character so insecure and easily shaken, or will they relate to him as they've been bypassed before by a boss or a mentor or a teacher or parent who found a "new favorite"? Styles said he is the best wrestler in the world and he's gotta "kill Jay Lethal, that's what I gotta do." He said at Slammiversary when he faces Lethal, he can prove himself.

-A video package aired on Hogan telling Mr. Anderson that if he keeps doing what's been doing, his name will cease to exist around here. Anderson said he's trying to do the right thing and has been sincere in his support of Hardy.

[Q5]

-Christy Hemme interviewed Mr. Anderson. Anderson said he knows she wants to ask hard-hitting questions like Katie Couric. He then got distracted by her cleavage. Taz said, "Shades of Joe Namath." He said he's not being chauvinist or a pig, but the way he's acting might make him an "asshole." She said, "It sure does." Anderson said the fans are calling him an asshole, but they're all begging for a wardrobe malfunction, and that makes each of the fans assholes, too. A chant of "We are assholes!" broke out in the crowd. Anderson said, "This is going to be a censor's nightmare." He said Beer Money were signed for a tag match, but opponents weren't determined yet. He said he signed up, but he needed a partner. He introduced Hardy as his partner. Hardy's music played. Tenay said this is a one-of-a-kind relationship between Anderson and Hardy that he never saw coming. Taz said it's pretty cool.

Anderson and Hardy bumped fists. "This is the funniest asshole I've ever met," said Hardy. He said Anderson, other than him, is the craziest S.O.B. in TNA. He invited all of the Creatures of the Night. Anderson said in addition to being an asshole, he's a cheap asshole, so it's "BYOB." Out came Beer Money. Tenay said they'll team up against Beer Money at Slammiversary, but tonight they each have singles matches against each other.

Robert Roode said it's TNA's newest, latest BFFs, and a very entertaining one at that. Roode asked Jeff what he knows about tag team wrestling. He said he had a cup of tea early in his career with his brother, "and you guys sucked anyway, so that doesn't count." Roode said tag wrestling isn't about looking or being cool or just being friends in and out of the ring. He said it's about being like brothers, putting egos aside, and being a team first. He said it's obviously they're mismatch. He asked what makes them think they're in their league and have a chance against them at Slammiversary.

Anderson asked Roode, "Why is your hair always wet?" He asked James: "Why are you wearing sunglasses? There are only two types of people who wear sunglasses indoors - blind people and jackoffs." Taz said he took exception to that. Storm said, "You're not Mr. Anderson, you're Mr. Funny Man." He said he doesn't a stand-up routine, too. He then attacked Anderson. They paired off and brawled. Security ran into the ring and pulled them apart. Anderson broke free and went after Storm as they cut to a break. [c]

[Q6]

3 -- JAMES STORM vs. JEFF HARDY

Storm and Hardy fought at ringside. Tenay said he never heard a bell. Seems like it'd have been a good idea to advertise prominently at the start of the show that Hardy would be wrestling. That should be treated as a big deal. When Hardy dragged Storm into the ring, he signaled for the bell to officially start the match. Storm gave Hardy a running boot to the side of his head at ringside. Tenay touted the four-way main event. "You want star power, you've got it!" he said. Storm scored a two count at 2:00. Tenay said he thought Hardy would have the advantage in a singles match, but Storm has the advantage so far. Storm brought a chair into the ring. The ref took the chair away. The fans chanted, "Let's go Hardy!" Hardy began a comeback at 3:00. He hit two clotheslines and an elbow, then launched off of a chair into Storm with a flying leg lariat for a near fall. Hardy yanked off his shirt and climbed to the top rope. Storm knocked him off the balance. Hardy fought off Storm and hit a flip dive legdrop for a two count. Storm sprayed Beer in Hardy's face and then gave him the Eye of the Storm for a two count. Storm swung a chair at Hardy, but Hardy moved and the chair bounced into his own face. Hardy hit a Twist of Fate and a Swanton for the win. Storm banged on the canvas in frustration afterward.

WINNER: Hardy in 6:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Served it's purpose well. Paced quickly, but it didn't feel overly rushed for a short TV match format. [c]

[Q7]

4 -- ROBERT ROODE vs. MR. ANDERSON

Roode got control at 2:00 and played to the crowd before making a cover. Anderson kicked out. Roode blocked a Mic Drop attempt at 4:00. Anderson came right back with a fireman's carry, but Roode raked his eyes to escape. Anderson went for a top rope sunset flip, but overshot it. Roode dropped down and grabbed the middle rope for leverage for the three count.

WINNER: Roode in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

-Anderson said afterward that any man can lose on any given day, and he just lost to "Bobby Roode." He said it seems the only way people beat him is using underhanded chicanery. He said the reason people have to do that is because he's not a mere mortal, but is Mr. Anderson. Roode said, "All you do is talk!"

-The roving camera focused on Douglas Williams who said he is in TNA as X Division Champion to try to reeducate wrestlers in TNA to stop doing acrobatic moves and concentrate on joint manipulation. "They're doing a very selfish, attention-grabbing style," he said. He concluded that no current contenders can match him and he'll bring them to the mat to finish them there.

-They showed Abyss, Chelsea, and Rob Terry heading to the entrance tunnel. [c]

[Q8]

5 -- ROB TERRY & ABYSS (w/Chelsea) vs. DESMOND WOLFE & ORLANDO JORDAN

Jordan brought a "shake weight" with him to the ring, which is hilarious if you saw the SNL spoof on it. Look it up. Wolfe and Jordan worked over Abyss's arm early. Abyss threw Jordan to ringside and he seemed intrigued by her bare legs. Taz said he didn't think she was his type. She slapped him. He smiled. Wolfe told Jordan that's his girl. Abyss attacked Wolfe as Wolfe chewed out Chelsea for looking at Jordan. Terry yanked Jordan into the ring and gave him a one-arm slam Freak Buster for the win.

WINNER: Terry & Abyss in 3:00.

-A video package aired on the Ink Inc. vs. Team 3D feud. Devon said he doesn't want to be in the middle of the war between Jesse Neal and Brother Ray. [c]

6 -- ROB VAN DAM vs. MATT MORGAN vs. STING vs. SAMOA JOE

There were three minutes left in the second hour by the time ring intros for the big star-power-filled main event began. Sting attacked RVD at ringside. Joe, meanwhile, worked over Morgan in the ring. RVD hit a side kick off the ropes on Sting, then a Rolling Thunder. Morgan broke up the pin attempt, then he clotheslined Sting for a two count. Joe broke it up.

[Q9]

Sting stood up and punched Joe a few times. Joe kicked Sting and scored a two count, broken up by Morgan. RVD dove at Morgan, but Morgan caught him and slammed him to the mat. Morgan threw a barrage of back elbows at RVD in the corner, then got distracted by someone in the crowd. Joe then kicked Morgan from behind. Taz asked if that was Hernandez. Joe gave Morgan a Muscle Buster. RVD surprised Joe with a flying kick and then he gave Morgan a Five-Star Frogsplash for the pin. Tenay said RVD, ever the opportunist, stole Joe's win. The show ended with RVD and Joe in a staredown.

WINNER: RVD in 6:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2

FINAL THOUGHTS (7.0): Another good Impact. Not infuriating at all, which is newsworthy for this product. The focus is on the right guys, for the most part, and they're not trying to jam too much into the show. The matches between marquee players are still too short, but it's better then extending them by three minutes and cutting that three minutes out with mid-match commercial breaks. Once again, no mid-match breaks. Anderson's really interesting to watch develop right now. At least Rosey is being pushed as a babyface so babyfaces aren't put in a position to "make fun of the fat lady" every week. No rankings talk this week at all.

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