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TNA Impact
KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 6/24: "They" are coming, Abyss attacks Hogan, Anderson vs. Abyss, Sting vs. Jarrett (psych!), Love vs. Sky

Jun 24, 2010 - 10:35:01 PM
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By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

StaffKeller08_120_37.jpg
KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
JUNE 24, 2010
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV


[Q1]

-The show opened with the finish of last week's TV main event with all three wrestlers counted out - Abyss, Mr. Anderson, Jeff Hardy. Then it showed Abyss's meltdown afterward.

-Hulk Hogan made his ring entrance as Mike Tenay introduced the show. Tenay wondered if Hogan would address the finish of last week's TV main event and the lack of a clear no. 1 contender. The crowd chanted "Hogan, Hogan." Hogan milked it like no one else can. Hogan said: "You guys are full of it. With that kind of energy, I've felt it before. I've been to the big shows. And when a company like TNA starts kicking with so much horsepower and so many moving parts, it starts to get crazy. You can hear it right out here, brothers."

He said he had a lot of business to address. He said because of the countout last week, he's decided to make it a four-way match at Victory Road for the TNA World Title. He then listed the four wrestlers. Abyss interrupted and walked to the ring. Hogan said he was "just getting ready to talk about my blood-brother, Abyss." He said he believed in him more than anyone, but now he asked where he is going and why he took the sharp left turn last week. Abyss said people don't realize the seriousness of what he's doing. He said he is doing what he is doing for one reason. "It's because they told me to," he said. "They were ones that me to break Jeff Hardy into two. They were the ones that told me to destroy anything that gets in my path." Oh no, it's the Extreme invasion with Tommy Dreamer et al. I'm skeptical of the freshness date of this, to say the least.

Abyss said when "they" arrive, there is nothing he or Dixie Carter can do about it. Hogan said he knows what it would take to bring TNA to the next level. Abyss said, "They told me they don't need me anymore." Abyss replied that that's something he knows and everyone else will find out soon enough. "They said I don't need this garbage ring of yours anymore." He grabbed Hogan by the throat and then shoved the Hall of Fame ring into Hogan's mouth. Taz said he's deranged and nuts. Taz and Tenay worried about Hogan choking on his ring. Abyss shoved his boot into Hogan's throat, then grabbed his bag of broken glass onto the mat. RVD charged out and kicked and punched Abyss for the save. (Steve Austin posted on Twitter: "RVD has got to tighten up those punches.") Abyss powerbombed RVD off of him out of the corner. Abyss then pointed at Hogan. Mr. Anderson's music played and he charged to the ring with a chair to Abyss's back. After three shots to the back, Abyss didn't drop, so Anderson bailed out to ringside where he, Hogan, and RVD retreated. Taz said they'd live to fight another day. Tenay said after all Hogan has done for Abyss, who saw this coming. Tenay and Taz didn't seen particularly concerned with who "they" was, which was strange as that was the main aspect of this angle that deserved attention. Abyss repeated "they're coming" as they cut to a break. [c]

[Q2]

-Tenay and Taz commented on Abyss attacking Hogan. Tenay finally asked, "Who is this 'they' he keeps talking about?"

-Backstage Hogan told Eric Bischoff how disappointed he was in Abyss. Hogan said he feels he's been shot in the chest. Bischoff wondered who got to him and whether it was ego or money that motivated him. Bischoff said he never thought of him as that kind of guy. They wondered if it could be Flair, but they dismissed that. Bischoff: "Some people you can't read, and he's one of them." Bischoff said maybe they should just move on. Hogan said, "Not yet."

-Madison Rayne did a little backstage skit with Lacey Von Erich.

1 -- VELVET SKY vs. ANGELINA LOVE

These two former original Beautiful People wrestling one-on-one should be treated as a much bigger deal than just throwing it on TV with no hype ahead of time. It's just so inefficient to produce TV like this. They get so much less out of these things than they comprehend. They brawled at ringside early. Love then brought a chair into the ring. The ref protested. Steve Austin on Twitter wrote: "Why didn't the ref just move the damn chair?" Exactly! Oh, Taz asked the same question. Good for him, too! He said the obvious, and thus bonds with viewers for being on their side and not being a shill for stupid stuff. Sky ended up making a comeback and set up a DDT. Love countered and DDT'd Sky on the chair, so the ref DQ'd her. Tenay announced during the match that Anderson would face Abyss in a no-DQ match in the main event. Rayne taunted Love from the aisle, saying she still has the title.

WINNER: Sky via DQ in 3:00.

-Jay Lethal's brother joined Lethal in the locker room. They talked about his dream match facing Ric Flair at Victory Road. He's so getting beat up. [c]

[Q3]

-Nash told Young that what happened to The Band had nothing to do with him. Young asked him what happened. Nash said "Kid" (Sean Waltman) and Scott (Hall) were out of control. He said he had to distance himself from Hall. "I didn't have any choice," he said. He said he's dealt with them for 15 years. He said he's doing him a favor. Young said, "It's your choice, bro."

-Matt Morgan stood in the ring and said he told everyone so. He said he promised to win at Slammiversary and he did. He called Hernandez out. Tenay and Taz that Morgan knows Hernandez is not there, but he's in Mexico doing P.R. work for TNA. Morgan told him to put the burrito down and come to the ring. Homicide charged to the ring and attacked Morgan. When he dove off the ring apron at him, Morgan punched him and gave him a Carbon Footprint. Morgan looked at the camera and shouted, "Hernandez, this is going to look like a wet dream compared to what I'm going to do to you, son." [c]

-A.J. Styles nervously asked Ric Flair if "that package" arrived yet. Flair told him he was tired of hearing about the package.

[Q4]

2 -- KAZARIAN vs. JAY LETHAL

Kazarian's body looks quite different from the recent past, thicker and flabbier around the waist. At 2:00 they showed Flair and Styles attacking Lethal's brother. Told you. Lethal, meanwhile, hit Kaz with a handspring elbow. Taz said he thinks he did it better than Great Muta. Kaz went on offense for a minute, but Lethal surprised Kaz with a sudden Lethal Injection for the win.

WINNER: Lethal in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2

-Flair taunted Lethal on the big screen, beating up his brother backstage, saying that would be him at Victory Road. Lethal just watched for a few seconds in shock, then charged to the back as Flair went into a crazed "whoo!" rant. [c]

[Q5]

3 --STING vs. JEFF JARRETT

The worst-hyped "big name" match in Impact in a long time in the sense that they didn't do anything to set the stage for it in the first 55 minutes of the show. They showed Jarrett in the back heading to the entrance ramp. Tenay said: "Jarrett-Sting is now!" Then Jarrett made his ring entrance. Sting wouldn't come out to his music, so Jarrett climbed up the rafters where he met Sting at the top. Wait, there's Sting in the ring! He leaned in the corner relaxed as Jarrett dragged the imitation Sting into the ring. Is it Barry Windham? Jarrett looked in the eyes of the fake Sting and stopped in his tracks. Sting then choked Jarrett from behind with a bat. They never showed a close-up of the fake Sting. The rationale to not hyping the match is that they didn't want to promise something they didn't plan to deliver on, but that's an old philosophy WWE has done and it makes non-matches predictable and psychologically I don't think it does any good. It just makes fans think Sting-Jarrett, no matter what happened, isn't that big of a deal. Sting left Jarrett lying on the mat. No match ever began.

WINNER: No contest.

[Q6]

-TNA has begun the "Bound for Glory" hype as something that only happens once per century because it happens on 10-10-10 (Oct. 10, 2010). [c]

4 -- KURT ANGLE vs. DESMOND WOLFE (w/Chelsea)

Tenay asked Taz to tell him what in the hell was going on tonight. Taz wondered what was in the water. The good wrestling you'd expect between these two early. The crowd chanted "USA! USA!" at 6:00. Angle eventually won with an anklelock tapout.

WINNER: Angle in 7:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Good start to a full fledged match, but felt rushed at no. 7. Wolfe looked quite taller than Angle here. Wolfe has main event size and carries himself like a top tier player and obviously has the skills and promos to be a fresh, credible central heel, but TNA keeps blowing it with him.

-Mr. Anderson talked backstage about facing Abyss in the main event. [c]

-Douglas Williams stood in the ring and spoke about Brian Kendrick attacking him last week. "You'd probably say you were inspired to do it by your third eye or some other such nonsense. Well, that's fine because that's the crazy world you inhabit." He said the world he inhabits is one with a Code of Conduct where one never violates terms of professionalism. He said Kendrick should be schooled in sportsmanship. Kendrick walked out and talked to him with obnoxious intonations. He said the phrase "vibrationally speaking." He said he's facing Williams at Victory Road in an Ultimate X match where submissions also apply. Williams said trying to talk like that won't deter him from getting revenge at Victory Road. Williams suggested they walk away now and conclude their affairs on July 11. As Williams started to leave, Kendrick leaped on him from behind and applied a submission cobra clutch with a leg bodywrap.

-Backstage Abyss said nobody realizes the magnitude of what "they" are telling him. He said they've asked him to pave the way for him. He said when they arrive, there will be no stopping them. So this is Dixie Carter's big surprise. EV2, or something along those lines. A bunch of garbage wrestlers playing off of a 15 year old phenom that's exhausted all relevance trying to take over TNA? I hope there's something more than that happening. That's something to lose sleep over, but not in a good way.

[Q7] [c]

-They joined Brother Ray brawling with Jesse Neal backstage. They were broken up quickly by security. Devon showed up. Ray said, "That's right, my brother's got my back!" Devon shoved Ray immediately, clearly agitated by him. He told Devon to leave Jesse Neal alone "and do not test me."

5 -- BEER MONEY vs. SHANNON MOORE & JESSE NEAL

Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley joined Tenay and Taz at ringside. Early in the match Dreamer walked through the crowd with Dr. Stevie and Raven. Neal staggered to the ring a couple minutes into the match. Beer Money finished him off with the DWI a couple minutes later.

WINNERS: Beer Money in 5:00 to earn a shot at the vacated TNA Tag Team Titles against the Machine Guns at Victory Road.

STAR RATING: *1/4

[Q8]

-The package finally arrived for Styles. He tore open the box and showed off his new action-figure. He sounded like Hornswoggle as he celebrated and taunted Kaz with it. Kaz said he should go play with himself now. Styles said at least he can because he has an action figure. [c]

6 -- ABYSS vs. MR. ANDERSON - Falls Count Anywhere No DQ Match

A brawl from the start. At 3:00, after Anderson had Abyss down after a barrage of punches, he went to ringside to grab a chair from a fan. Abyss recovered and punched the chair into Anderson's face. He slid the chair into the ring. Anderson took control in the ring and gave Abyss another chair to the back. Does his insurance cover chiropractic visits? They brawled to the floor where Anderson hit Abyss with the kendo stick. Abyss went on sustained offense late in the match, jabbing Anderson in the gut with a chair. Anderson, though, crotched Abyss with the chair as he went for a sit-down splash on him. Anderson rolled up Abyss for a near fall. Abyss came right back by leaping off the top rope, but Abyss lifted his knees and finished him by throwing him into a chair wedged in the corner and delivering Shock Treatment.

WINNER: Abyss in 9:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4

[Q9 - Overrun]

-Anderson crawled toward the back afterward. Abyss caught up to him and tried to slam him off the stage. Anderson fought free and was going to knock Abyss of the stage with a Mic Check. Abyss elbowed out of it and then chokeslammed Anderson through a table below. The Mic Check would have worse for Anderson, probably, so he should thank Abyss. As Abyss celebrated, Hogan came out with a chair and bashed Abyss in the back with it. Hogan has never been a good chairshot deliverer. He always pulls back at the end and seems half-hearted with it. It's probably for the best, but relatively speaking his chairshots dating back 20 years have been weak. Abyss no-sold it and turned and pointed at Hogan. Security ran out and Abyss tossed them around. The show ended with Hogan trying to talk some sense into Abyss.

FINAL THOUGHTS (4.5): Weakest Impact of the month. Odd finish with Hogan going from "attacking" Abyss with a chair to standing and reasoning with him seconds later. The Sting-Jarrett "match" was yet another Nitro acid flashback with the fake Sting. Some people just can't get past their "glory days." It's a neat trick, but between fake Sting, the Extreme "they" (presumably) arriving, plus The Dudleys, Jarrett, Nash, Hogan, and Flair, this still feels too "nostalgic" and not enough 2010. And meanwhile, they underhype the Beautiful People (one of their top drawing acts of the past two years) facing one another and they job out Wolfe again (perhaps their best bet to elevate into a top tier heel). Douglas Williams and Matt Morgan are always good for a fun promo, but they're positioned as supporting acts at best right now.


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