WWE Raw Report CALDWELL'S WWE RAW RESULTS 5/3: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Wayne Brady guest-hosting, Cutting Edge with Randy Orton
May 3, 2010 - 10:10:26 PM
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WWE Raw Live Report
May 3, 2010
Live in Jacksonville, Fla.
Aired on USA Network
Report by James Caldwell, Torch assistant editor
WWE Raw opened with a video recap of last week's WWE Raw main event with Batista becoming #1 contender again thanks to Edge interfering against Randy Orton. After the Raw intro video aired, they went to the arena for a full pyro show and Michael Cole introducing the show following the "controversial and explosive" Draft. Controversial? Anyways, Jerry Lawler plugged Orton on Cutting Edge tonight. Lots of hyperbole to start the show.
In-ring: Batista's music hit to kick off the action. He came out dressed to wrestle instead of talk to start the show. Batista stared down a few fans ringside on the way to the ring with the dark spotlight over him. Batista opened his promo saying he became #1 contender last week when he should already be WWE champion. He quizzed the audience on whether they know what a Last Man Standing match even is. "You suck!" shouted one fan right next to an arena mic. Batista paused and said he's going to explain it real slow. He said a LMS match is...now pay attention...when you beat your opponent so brutally and so decisively that he is unable to stand before the count of ten. "That is not what happened last week," Batista said. Roll footage of Extreme Rules when Cena taped Batista's to the ringpost to win.
Back live, Batista said that was by far...pause for loud "Cena, Cena" chant...the most embarrassing moment of John Cena's career. He took that back. "It was the most embarrassing moment of John Cena's life." Batista added: "Duct tape? Are you serious?! That's something Hornswoggle would do!" Batista then mocked tonight's proceedings tonight: a Beat the Clock challenge between him and Cena to see who gets to pick the stip for the re-match. Batista said his opponent is The Miz and he mocked Miz before calling him out to get this over with.
Instead, Sheamus's music hit and out came Sheamus to interrupt. Cole noted Sheamus taking out Triple H "for God knows how long." Sheamus said Batista is pathetic for still griping about the PPV loss. Tye-dye guy wasn't so convinced about this on the front row. Sheamus told Batista he did something Batista never could do: take out Triple aaache. Sheamus said he doesn't have a title match at the PPV because he took out the "son-in-law" or perhaps Cena is afraid to face him. Sheamus said he wants Batista one-on-one tonight. He said if Batista wins, he'll shut up and go away. If he wins, he gets Cena at Over the Limit for the WWE Title. Batista said his answer is...Sheamus had his chance and blew it. "You lost!" Batista said. He told "fellla" to get out of the ring because he has a match to win. Sheamus didn't budge and locked eyes with Batista. Sheamus smirked a bit and said this isn't over. He said he will be WWE champion again and it'll be sooner than Batista thinks. Sheamus backed away and left the ring keeping eye contact with Batista on the way up the ramp. Cole and Lawler then plugged Batista vs. Miz in the first Beat the Clock challenge tonight. PYB (3) talk time: 8:55.
In-ring: Back from break, U.S. champion The Miz walked out not dressed to wrestle. Miz had a piece of paper in hand here. Miz said he would like nothing better than to face Batista and prove he's a true champion, but unfortunately, the trauma to his face via Big Show won't allow him to do so. He held out a piece of paper that literally read "DOCTOR'S NOTE," which drew some laughs. Miz dryly said he's unable to compete tonight. He said lucky for Batista, he has just the guy in mind to face Batista. He called out Daniel Bryan to face Batista. Cole laughed at this thought as Bryan walked out to the ring. Miz told Bryan to put up a fight. Bryan ripped the mic away from Miz and said he's going to do Batista one better by making Batista tap out. Batista laughed and laughed at this thought.
1 -- BATISTA vs. DANIEL BRYAN (w/The Miz)
Batista went for an early Batistabomb, but Bryan rolled down Batista's back and tried a sunset flip for a two count. Bryan then followed with an anklelock and Batista rolled to the floor for a break. Nice, intense start. Batista regrouped, then re-entered the ring and pounded on Bryan in the corner. Bryan surprised Batista with a sleeperhold, but Batista flung him to the mat and landed a kick strike for a two count only. Batista checked the clock, then pounded Bryan into the ringposts. Bryan blocked a third whip and tried a front facelock submission, but Batista suplexed him across the ring. Batista started coughing up a lung, then he made a cover for a two count only. Batista then dumped Bryan to the floor and rammed him into the ring apron. Back in the ring, Batista spun Bryan inside-out with a clothesline. He made a cover, but Bryan kicked out again.
Bryan then landed forearm smashes and a boot to the face that stunned Batista, who came back with a big boot of his own. Batista made a cover, but two count only. Bryan suddenly came back with an enziguiri kick before slapping on an armbar submission. Bryan transitioned into a Crossface, but Batista reached the bottom rope to break the hold. Bryan then stomped away on Batista and had to break on a four count. Bryan showed fire, but then took a kick to the knee from Batista. Batista then popped up and delivered a spear, followed by a Batistabomb center ring. Batista with the pin at 5:06. Post-match: Batista took out his frustrations with another Batistabomb on Bryan. Batista left the ring, then came back into the ring and scooped up Bryan again. He delivered a third Bomb
WINNER: Batista at 5:06. Great way to introduce Bryan as a sympathetic underdog babyface. The bit worked just fine to get over Bryan's submissions and get the audience to buy into the possibility Batista was going to tap out to Bryan. The final point was mission accomplished with Batista getting over his heel persona. Solid TV storytelling here. (*3/4)
Beat the Clock: John Cena gets Chris Jericho in his BTC challenge match. That's a huge match and should have been more properly hyped, but the announcers acted like it was just another match. Up next: Raw guest host Wayne Brady.
Backstage: New Divas champion Eve was backstage doing a photo shoot, then Wayne Brady walked in to talk up Eve. He was interrupted by Jillian Hall, who wanted to sing Brady's theme song. Brady bought into it, then walked an unsuspecting Jillian through a curtain to quiet her. The camera shifted back to Eve for her photo shoot, but the Divas Title was missing. Suddenly, Maryse blasted her in the face and stood over Eve's fallen body to continue their feud.
Backstage: Edge talked to a stagehand that he wanted to use clips from his live sex show for Cutting Edge tonight. The guy said they can't do that. How about TLC clips with bodies crashing and burning? He wasn't sure about that either. Edge was approached by Josh Mathews, who asked him about being back on Raw. Edge said he's Rated R, not PG. He said it's live TV and he's starting a new era of controversy. He said they'll see what Randy Orton has to say tonight.
NXT plug: David Otunga vs. R-Truth tomorrow night on Syfy.
In-ring: Ted DiBiase's music hit to bring out DiBiase with the Million Dollar Belt slung over his shoulder. Cole robotically introduced a video clip last week when DiBiase went looking for a "Virgil" and was met with a slap from R-Truth. Back live, DiBiase cut a promo on Truth "being from the streets" and having no money. He mocked Truth's one song, "What's up?" and mocked the audience for liking the song. DiBiase said he will hire a personal associate who will help him slap some sense into "this wannabee rapper." He concluded: "And that's what's up." Cue up John Morrison's music to interrupt. DiBiase vs. Morrison up now.
2 -- JOHN MORRISON vs. TED DIBIASE
Morrison knocked DiBiase to the floor early on and Morrison landed a high-impact splash on the floor. A few fans ringside chanted, "That was awesome," as DiBiase recovered on the floor. DiBiase then walked away from ringside and the bell sounded for a count-out.
WINNER: Morrison via count-out at 1:15, match result erased on re-start...
Post-match: DiBiase kept walking and Morrison said this isn't how he's going to debut on Monday nights. He told DiBiase to get back in the ring and they'll re-start. DiBiase just kept walking. Morrison upped the stakes by saying he'll be DiBiase's Virgil if he loses. DiBiase turned and smiled at that offer. He then walked back down the ramp to the ring as they cut to break.
2b -- JOHN MORRISON vs. TED DIBIASE
They joined the action in progress with DiBiase in control of the match. DiBiase continued to work over DiBiase, adding a little Rick Rude acknowledgement of his physique, before Morrison came back with a kick to the head. Morrison tried to follow with a springboard flying chuck, but DiBiase yanked Morrison down from the ropes and scored a nearfall. DiBiase teased Dream Street, but Morrison flung DiBiase away. DiBiase followed with a powerslam for a two count, though. DiBiase tried Dream Street again, but Morrison trapped DiBiase's arms and spun over him for the pin and the win. The finish might look familiar from Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper at WrestleMania 8.
Post-match: DiBiase jumped Morrison from behind and beat him down for a bit until R-Truth ran into the ring to make the save. DiBiase bailed and stared back at the babyfaces in the ring as Truth's music played.
WINNER: Morrison at 3:57. They seemed to pack about three weeks worth of storyline development into a two-part segment. This doesn't seem like a star-making type program for DiBiase and the segment came across like WWE doesn't have much for DiBiase and Morrison right now. We'll see if it leads anywhere. (*1/4)
Replay: Batista vs. Daniel Bryan with Batista winning at 5:06. Up next: it's Cena vs. Jericho with minimal hype.
In-ring: WWE champion John Cena came out first for the Beat the Clock challenge match against Chris Jericho. If Cena wins, does he pick a duct tape on a pole match for the match against Batista? Chris Jericho then came out on stage dressed in a fine suit. Apparently they're pulling the switcheroo again, which explains the lack of hype for Cena vs. Jericho. It also means the audience won't take WWE seriously next time they plug a PPV-main event quality match. Jericho said he's pulling himself from the match because it's a waste of his time to beat up Cena yet again. Cena mocked Jericho talking and talking and talking. Cue up the NXT theme music to bring out Jericho's Rookie, Wade Barrett. Jericho introduced Cena and "the hypocrites" to Mr. Wade Barrett. Barrett came to the ring and it was on.
[Q5 -- second hour]
3 -- WWE champion JOHN CENA vs. WADE BARRETT -- Beat the Clock challenge match -- non-title match
Cena teased the Attitude Adjustment early on, but Jericho distracted Cena from the outside. The match moved to the floor and Barrett used another distraction from Jericho to take control. Back in the ring, Barrett pounded on Cena from a mount position as Jericho screamed at the announcers to tell the audience he's a machine. Barrett continued to work over Cena as they hit 2:35 to go on the clock. Barrett cut off Cena's first comeback attempt as the crowd started to get antsy with their hero in jeopardy. Jericho screamed at the announcers to talk up Barrett as they hit 1:00 to go. At 0:50, Barrett continued to work over Cena with a methodical attack. Suddenly, Cena slapped on the STF out of nowhere center ring. Barrett fought for a second or two, then he tapped out to give Cena the win.
Post-match: Cena took the mic to announce the stipulation for his match against Batista. He said he knows what the stipulation is...suddenly, Sheamus ran down to the ring and kicked Cena in the head to KO the champ. Sheamus stood over Cena's fallen body and stared into the crowd before walking off. Cena slowly came to life as Sheamus walked away to conclude the segment.
WINNER: Cena at 4:39. Predictable match with Cena making the Superman comeback before time expired to get the win. Sheamus is playing a really annoying heel (in a good way), as he keeps interrupting everything on the show. It's getting more and more heat, but if they play the hand too strong as the weeks go on, it will turn into go-away heat eventually. Again, we have to see where this is leading to.
Up later tonight: Cutting Edge with Randy Orton.
4 -- MARYSE vs. NIKKI BELLA (w/Brie Bella)
Maryse came out for a random Divas match after the break. The Bella Twins followed out with apparently Nikki in the ring here. Nikki tried to land some early offense and the match moved to the floor. Back in the ring, Maryse cut off Nikki and hit the hair-sweep spike DDT for the pin and the win. Post-match: Maryse narrated a still shot she took at the photo shoot of her standing over Eve after KO'ing her. Eve then charged the ring and tried to attack Maryse, who bailed to the floor and played a cocky heel. A ref tried to hold back Eve as Maryse laughed and laughed to herself on the entranceramp on the way to the back.
WINNER: Maryse in 1:30. A typically short, filler Divas match to advance the Divas Title feud. (n/a)
In-ring: Zack Ryder's music was playing as Gail Kim and Alicia Fox were randomly sitting ringside with the announcers. Ryder was in the ring to talk about avoiding the Draft last week. Cole made a Draft Dodger joke that dated him by about 60 years. Ryder called out Primo to face him in a re-match from Superstars. His big line was that he would be forced to check his papers like in Arizona if he doesn't show up. The line died with the live crowd. Just lame, low IQ writing trying to act hip. Wayne Brady then appeared on the video screen and said he had a better opponent in mind. Out came Mark Henry to eat Ryder.
5 -- ZACK RYDER vs. MARK HENRY
Henry attacked Ryder early on, with no one taking Ryder seriously, but Ryder came back with a top rope missile dropkick and the Rough Ryder for a two count. Ryder tried to keep Henry on the mat, but Henry came to his feet and set up Ryder for the World's Strongest Slam. And that's all she wrote. Naturally, the Divas ringside were unimpressed with Ryder. And this led to a self-deprecation joke from Cole on bad luck with the ladies. Henry then walked over the Divas and escorted them away from ringside to conclude the bit.
WINNER: Henry at 1:50. Another "we have nothing for either wrestler" match. The crowd realized that as well, as they waited for the World's Strongest Slam to show any interest in what was happening. (1/2*)
Backstage: Chris Jericho was talking to someone off-camera, then the camera panned to the right to reveal Miz. Jericho and Miz traded stories about how much they can't stand Big Show. Jericho said they did so much for him and made him back to being Big Show, now he wants to knock them out? Miz said there's nothing they can really do about it since he's on Smackdown. Jericho said he has an idea, then Jericho and Miz walked off to talk strategy. At least they didn't share the strategy on-camera in front of millions of people and Big Show.
Tonight: Cutting Edge with Randy Orton still to come.
Backstage: Kozlov. (Insert Seinfeld voice for "Newman.") Kozlov told guest host Wayne Brady he wants proper competition. Santino then interrupted dressed in a 1970s get-up. He figured Brady was part of the Brady Bunch. Brady said he's not white. Santino said he would like to team with Kozlov and have an odd team like Sandra Bullock and her no-good husband. They're desperate trying to be relevant here. William Regal walked in and told Kozlov they have a match tonight. Santino noted he was "one of seven people" who watched Regal turn on Kozlov on ECW. Regal quickly stated they have patched things up. He walked off with Kozlov. "Regal, Regal, Regal" instead of "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha." The live crowd didn't react. Goldust then walked in dressed like Alice the housekeeper. He did his gimmick and shouted in Brady's face before walking off. Brady Bunch jokes? Goodness gracious. This is not a good sign of the post-Draft Raw season.
Raw Draft: They recapped Great Khali, injured Ezekiel Jackson, and Hart Dynasty being Drafted to the Raw brand. On cue, they cut backstage to show Natalya leading the Unified tag champions Hart Dynasty down a hallway. They're up next in another no-hype segment.
Ringside: Jericho and Miz were positioned with the announcers to "enlighten" them with their opinions. Cue up Hart Dynasty's theme music to bring out the tag champs. Already in the ring were Kozlov and Regal. Kozlov pretended to do some shadow-boxing. I'm not sure if he's trying to be intentionally over-the-top or unintentionally completely lame. It's odd.
6 -- Unified tag champions HART DYNASTY (TYSON KIDD & D.H. SMITH w/Natalya) vs. WILLIAM REGAL & KOZLOV -- non-title match
The bell sounded and suddenly the lights went off in the ring. The lights came back on and Regal locked up with Kidd. Regal and Kozlov knocked Kidd to the floor, then Regal went back to work on Kidd back in the ring. Kozlov and Regal then started working over Kidd as Cole tried to stir it up between Jericho and Miz on commentary. The heels continued to tag in and out working over Kidd as Jericho and Miz revealed their plan to win the tag titles so they can travel to Smackdown to go after Show. What's preventing them from going to Smackdown when there's been so much brand cross-over with no explanation for years and years? Anyways, Smith eventually hot-tagged and slapped on the Sharpshooter on Regal. The bell sounded randomly and the match was apparently declared over.
[Q8] Post-match: Miz tried to run into the ring, but Smith cut him off. Jericho then followed in behind Miz and dropped Smith with the codebreaker. Cole dubbed them the Egomaniacs. "You suck, Chris Jericho!" shouted one lone fan near an arena mic. Miz and Jericho got their shine, then Miz dropped Smith with the Skullcrushing Finale. Cue up Miz's theme music. Jericho looks like an NBA coach who discarded his jacket after a poor call in the fourth quarter.
WINNERS: HD via submission at 2:46. Another too short, unhyped match that the audience had no interest in. Miz & Jericho forming a tag team simply to travel to Smackdown to go after Big Show might be the lowest-IQ reason to form a tag team ever conceived. It would be perfectly logical if there were not a long history of wrestlers crossing over brands for no reason whatsoever. WWE would have had to protect the brand split for this reasoning to be logical. Thus far, this show has come across like the Raw writing team ran out of time trying to draw up the episode. (3/4*)
Next week: Flavor Flav guest-hosting Raw from Pittsburgh.
In-ring: Edge came out for the main event Cutting Edge segment tonight. Edge said the people don't deserve an explanation for what he did to Randy Orton last week. He said he's kidding; he just likes to tug on the people's heartstrings to play on their emotions. Edge went back to history starting with the Royal Rumble when he returned from his injury. He said last week, he was drafted to Raw and all of his plans on Smackdown went up in smoke. Edge said he decided to re-start his plans on Raw by spearing Orton and getting some frustrated steam off his chest. He said at the end of the night, he was the most-talked-about star on either brand. Edge decided it was time to bring out his guest on the show tonight.
Before Edge could bring out Orton, Wayne Brady interrupted. Brady strolled out to the ring and took a seat next to Edge, who said Orton can wait. They made small talk before Brady put over WWE and being a wrestling fan. Brady got the cheap pop referencing Jacksonville and said he wants to feel what's it like to walk in Edge's footsteps. Brady entered promo mode saying he came here not to challenge anyone, but to tell any other Raw guest hosts that they are not him. He referenced Mini Me, "Cheech and/or Chong, and Bob Barker, saying he is "Bob Darker." Randy Orton's music interrupted this proceedings and Orton walked out sporting a scary-looking t-shirt. Edge did the big bug-eyes in the ring as Orton slowly approached the ring.
Orton entered the ring and stared down Edge as the crowd came to life for the first time since Cena was out there. Brady slowly walked over to Orton for a handshake, but Orton dropped him with an RKO center ring. Brady disappeared, then Orton stalked Edge until Edge started to talk himself out of a bad situation.
[Q9 -- over-run] Edge said he had to make a statement last week, which is something Orton would have done and should understand. Edge said the last time Orton was on the Cutting Edge was years ago. He paused for an "R-K-O" chant before reminding Orton of them being a tag team back in the way as Rated-R-K-O. Edge tried to sell Orton on re-forming the tag team. He said Cena and Batista are going to destroy each other at Over the Limit, then they pick up the scraps. Orton thought things over, but didn't react. Edge asked Orton if he's too big of a star now. He said he didn't plan on spearing Orton last week, but now he's glad that he did. Edge said he did everything he's supposed to do - filmed commercials, created a catchphrase, and gave the fans everything he had, but they didn't fully accept him. Edge said the fans suddenly get behind Orton chanting "R-K-O" and he doesn't get it. The fans chanted the initials as Edge shouted that it's not fair. Edge said being drafted to Raw because of a battle royal isn't fair to him. He told Orton to listen to him and join him because the spear last week was just the tip of the iceberg. Edge vowed to make Orton an after-thought on the show. Orton's face started to contort as Edge demanded a word from Orton. "Say something!" Edge shouted.
Orton attempted the RKO in response, but Edge blocked and kicked Orton in the face. Edge teased a spear on Orton as Orton slowly got up, but Orton saw Edge on the Titantron and turned around to intercept Edge's spear in mid-air with an RKO center ring. The fans chanted Orton's name as he stood over Edge's fallen body before Orton's music played. They replayed the main points from the segment with the Silent Assassin get the final word on Brady and Edge. A medic checked on Brady in the ring as Edge slowly rolled over to Orton's feet. Orton simply stood tall as they closed the show six minutes past the top of the hour. PYB talk time: 13:30.
CLOSING THOUGHTS: Apparently all the effort on this show went into writing Orton's zero lines of dialogue. Orton is being positioned as the top star on Raw, which is interesting with Cena on the brand. Cena was an after-thought after being KO'ed by Sheamus and had no babyface comeback promo or even much of a mention by the announcers after his segment. Orton and Edge's interaction was good, but perhaps not enough to make it a thumbs up show with so many holes, filler, and lame writing throughout the show.
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