WWE Raw Report CALDWELL'S WWE RAW RESULTS 5/30: Complete "virtual time" coverage of live Raw - Cena vs. Truth main event, Kharma speaks
May 30, 2011 - 10:06:47 PM
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WWE Raw Results
May 30, 2011 - Episode #939
Live in Omaha, Neb.
Aired on USA Network
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
This week's live Memorial Day edition of WWE Raw started with a traditional Memorial Day video package dedicating Raw to the U.S. armed forces. The show faded to black for a while.
Arena: Suddenly, R-Truth was in the arena throwing merchandise around to no sound. A "Technical Difficulties" graphic flashed on the screen. It's a silent movie. Truth paused on a Zack Ryder t-shirt, apparently upset he has a t-shirt over him. Truth chucked the program aside and continued to talk silently. Truth walked by a concession stand and spotted a stack of Cena cups that he knocked over. Still no sound. They suddenly back to the announcers, whose audio was all mixed up. Lawler joked perhaps Truth pulled a plug over there somewhere.
Truth suddenly emerged atop the arena pointing out all of the fans wearing John Cena merchandise. The sound cut out again. It came back in the form of a radio-sounding echo. Truth then asked a kid who he came here with. The audio and video were all thrown off. The kid's parent tried sticking up to Truth, then Truth hopped over the guardrail and entered the ring. In the ring, the whole promo was thrown off. Truth was still talking when John Cena's music suddenly played eight seconds before the video caught up.
Cena, with the WWE Title belt in hand, hit the ring as the announcers continued to talk with a radio echo. Cena was shown pacing the ring as the video cut in and out. Cena said they all get it now that it's all one giant conspiracy and everyone's name is Jimmy. He told Truth he lives in a fantasy world and he is off the deep end. "What is wrong with you?" Cena said three seconds before the video caught up. Suddenly, the audio popped like unclogging an ear. The audio and video were finally in-synch as Truth said Cena has been conspiring to keep him down.
The crowd chanted, "Cena, Cena," as Cena did the babyface promo talking up the fans. Cena said the fans agree with him that he should be in a straight-jacket. He said if Truth feels the way he does because of him, he has no problem knocking some sense into Truth. Truth said that's what he wants. He said all the little Jimmys now get to watch him beat Cena down. Suddenly, the Raw GM chimed in.
Cole stood up and did a toned-down heel version of "May I have your attention please." Cole stepped to the podium, but his mic didn't work. Cole then announced the main event tonight: R-Truth against John Cena. Awkward pause waiting for something else to be read. Cole read that there will not be any Little Jimmys around ringside. Truth surmised it's all a joke to the GM, then dropped the mic and left. Truth muttered up the stage, leaving Cena behind in the ring. Since titles don't matter in WWE, no official word on it being non-title.
Raw tonight: Kharma explains her emotional break down as she speaks live for the first time on Raw. Up next: U.S. champion Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler. Again, since titles don't matter in WWE, no official word on whether it's non-title.
[Q2] Announcers: Cole and Lawler talked up Memorial Day before cutting to a random video of a bunch of people sitting around a kiddie-pool to plug the official start of summer via Memorial Day. Or something. Cole noted they have their technical difficulties behind them as Kofi Kingston came to the ring. Vickie Guerrero then led out Dolph Ziggler, who was back to his blonde hair. They cut to Cole talking about being back to where he belongs with his colleague, Kofi Kingston.
1 -- U.S. champion KOFI KINGSTON vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Vickie Guerrero) -- non-title match
Exemplifying why WWE is so inefficient with these types of matches, the announcers split their attention four ways on Dolph, Kofi, Vickie, and themselves early in the match. Dolph took control as Cole acted like he was filling time talking about Dolph's college education and Lawler cracked fat jokes on Vickie. Kofi made a comeback as Cole turned to talking about Kofi's "rough upbringing." Dolph then knocked Kofi to the floor and they cut to break with Kofi in trouble.
[Commercial Break. Next Monday: Luke and Andy meet at FCW for the Tough Enough finale.]
Back live, Dolph was trying to choke the life out of Kofi on the mat. Cole noted a victory for Dolph could put him in the hunt for the U.S. Title. Cole talked up Ziggler's credentials as Cole said he sees both of them having futures on Raw. That's like a Week 3 discussion after a quiet debut, not something Year 4 or 5 into their careers, but because of WWE's typical inefficient booking, mid-carders can't sustain momentum.
Kofi made a comeback at 9:00 and warmed up the Trouble in Paradise, but Ziggler ducked and slapped on the sleeperhold. Kofi rolled through, though, and ate a kick to the face in the corner. Kofi then went up top as Vickie screamed & shouted at him. Kofi wanted a high cross-body, but Ziggler moved and followed with a Fameasser for a close two count. The two men regrouped and Kofi nearly scored a win with a small package, but Kofi came back with the Zig-Zag in the corner. Ziggler with the pin for the win.
WINNER: Ziggler at 10:49. It looks like WWE will be setting up Kofi vs. Ziggler for the U.S. Title on a future event. The problem is Kofi hasn't been established as champion to where the audience can get behind this program. (**)
[Q3] Raw tonight: "Alex Riley Apology?" Cole said he will get Riley to apologize to The Miz tonight. Also tonight, John Cena vs. R-Truth in the main event.
[Commercial Break. R-Truth mid-commercial Tweet: "You people see what I mean? I speak the TRUTH and WWE audio goes out! Conspiracy!! WWE has been conspiring and tonight was proof!"]
In-ring: Back live, Tony Chimel (instead of Justin Roberts) introduced Ricardo Rodriguez. Cole said this is one of his favorite parts of the show. He said it in way taking viewers out of the moment suspending their disbelief. Ricardo then introduced Alberto Del Rio, who pulled up ringside in his latest vehicle not dressed to wrestle. Cue up Lawler with an immigration line on Ricardo before Del Rio began his promo. Del Rio reminded everyone of what happened last week on Raw. Cue up the unnaturally-fitting Raw Rebound showing Big Show getting run over by Del Rio's car. They made Show's grunts and cries sound like an animal stuck in a fence.
Back live, Del Rio said it was merely an accident. He told Ricardo to tell them what happened. Ricardo talked in Spanish, trying to explain himself. Del Rio said it's fine because people make mistakes all the time and Big Show made a mistake bringing this upon himself. Del Rio said bad things happen to bad people. Del Rio continued that he's a nice guy, but business is business. He said Big Show owes him money for damaging his car and Ricardo is going to send him the bill. Also, Big Show, "Get well, soon." Del Rio had a big laugh as his music played. Lawler asked why Del Rio can be smiling and joking about what happened. Cole said he understands the Brisco Brothers are going to have to put four or five days worth of time into fixing Del Rio's car. Where's a babyface announcer to counter Del Rio's absurd claims as a heel? The announcing situation is a mess.
Backstage: The Divas were shown warming up. It's Eve and Kelly Kelly vs. the Bellas up next.
2 -- BELLA TWINS (Divas champion Brie & Nikki Bella) vs. EVE & KELLY KELLY
The Bella twins were already in the ring back from break. After a quick video on Kelly part of Maxim's Top 100, the tag match started. The heels quickly isolated and double-teamed Eve, then Kelly hot-tagged in at 2:00. After the action broke down, Kelly scored with a Rocker Dropper for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Kelly & Eve at 2:56. Kelly is positioned as the babyface Diva WWE is pushing this month, so they seem to be continuing Kelly's chase for the Divas Title. (*)
Still to come tonight: Kharma explains her emotional breakdown. Up next: Riley and Miz get the top of the second hour for follow-up on Riley finally having enough of Miz last week.
[Commercial Break. Tough Enough plug: live season finale next week. They're sending a lot of mixed signals on how exactly next week's season finale is going to go down.]
Video: Some generic "American families" photos were shown as Lawler talked about Memorial Day. They cut to another random video of random men grilling somewhere in Omaha. Lawler was choked up by it all.
In-ring: Cole stood center-ring and noted the Raw GM has hired Riley. So much for Teddy Long's authority on Smackdown. Cole "pointed his finger" at Riley for acting like Judas or Benedict Arnold to Miz last week. They went to a replay of events on last week's show when Riley finally had enough of Miz and erupted on him.
Back live, they focused on a few fans on the front row looking around the arena not too interested. Some new hard rock music hit to bring out Alex Riley. One of those classic mid-card themes. Riley was all-smiles as he approached Cole, who claimed Riley is a backstabber. Cole stood up to Riley and asked how could he. "The Miz was like a father to you," Cole told him.
[Q5 -- second hour] Cole continued with the analogy before claiming Riley unmercifully attacked his mentor. That description drew a reaction. Miz said they have impressionable young men and women in the audience - did he think about how these people were affected by what he did to Miz? The crowd cheered and Riley smiled. Cole said Miz is a friend of his and he was hurt by this. He was emotionally scarred. Cole said Riley might not realize that Miz thought of Riley as a brother. A brother and a son? Which is it? Cole kept going on and on about Riley being Miz's right-hand man. He asked Riley how he can justify his actions of last week.
Riley took the mic and said he's never felt better in his life. The crowd cheered and clapped. Cole ranted & raved that Riley needs to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness. Cole said Riley doesn't know what kind of punishment and pain Miz can inflict on him. "Shut up, Cole!" Riley shouted. He told him he has a big mouth just like Miz. He said he's arrogant just like Miz. And he's starting to get a little annoying just like Miz. Cole stepped back, pointed in Riley's face, and said he's neither of those things, nor is Miz. Cole then tried to tell Riley what he is. "You are - you are...a bastard," he said.
Riley then grabbed Cole by the neck before throwing him down to the mat. Riley kicked Cole around playfully before pulling him up to his feet. The crowd roared as they saw Miz coming from behind. Miz blasted away on Riley before kicking him in the gut over and over. Miz shouted down at Riley that he made him. Miz yanked Riley's jacket off him before throwing away his own jacket.
Miz landed a few kicks, then Riley tackled Miz and blasted away with right hands for his big comeback to a strong reception. Miz tried to run away, but Riley chased him down on the outside. Riley rammed Miz into the guardrail, then over the guardrail. Riley suddenly came flying over the guardrail onto Miz. Next, Miz found himself flying over the announce table. Miz ran away through the other side as Riley stood next to the announcers. Miz was shown running through the crowd to the back of the arena. Riley then stood in the ring as the crowd cheered. Cole claimed Riley is going to get his. Lawler said Miz just got his and if Cole isn't careful, he's going to get his. Solid follow-up with Riley in Week 2. They have a star on their hands.
Up next: Rey vs. Mysterio.
In-ring: C.M. Punk's music hit as Cole noted Punk is fuming over Bret Hart, Rey Mysterio, and John Cena "conspiring" to defeat Punk in the tag main event last week. Punk was joined by Mason Ryan in the ring, then Rey Mysterio came out for the WrestleMania 26/half of 2010 Smackdown re-match. Punk was shown sitting in the ring unwilling to stand up as Rey completed his ring entrance. Meanwhile, Cole noted their feud last year on Smackdown.
3 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. C.M. PUNK (w/Mason Ryan)
The bell sounded and Cole noted American Idol contestant James Durbin wore a Punk t-shirt on Idol last week. One of those decisions WWE makes where pop culture reference > maintaining a heel as a heel. Mason got involved one minute in, ramming Rey into the ringpost. They cut to break at 1:25 with Punk in control.
Back from break, Punk worked over Rey as Cole explained he included Wayne Newton in his list of traitors with Riley because of Wayne's role in "National Lampoon Vacation: Las Vegas." Paging Mr. Papagiorgio. Rey then escaped a hold with pizzazz and Cole said it's "one of those magical moments Rey creates." More of that breaking-the-suspension-of-disbelief commentary from Cole instead of saying Rey uses it to win matches. The action spilled to the outside before returning to the ring. Rey and Punk traded dazzling counters before Punk landed a smashing backbreaker across his knee for a two count. More intense counters before Punk smashed Rey with an enziguiri kick that Rey sold by slumping to the mat like he was KO'ed. Punk made the cover for the win. Punk and Ryan then celebrated on the way out of the ring as Rey sold in the ring.
WINNER: Punk at 9:06. Good finish to the match. Rey is Teflon, so the loss didn't hurt. Punk is up-and-down from week-to-week, and this didn't seem like the first step to pushing him into the title picture, but solid follow-up on a quality win could get him there. (**1/4)
Announcers: Cole noted Jeremiah was sent home from Tough Enough earlier tonight. Cole then fed to a video package on Steve Austin appearing on Jimmy Fallon this past Friday to promote Tough Enough. ... Still to come tonight: John Cena vs. R-Truth. Up next: Kharma explains herself. "She's gonna talk?" Lawler quietly asked as they cut to break.
[Q7] In-ring: Back live, Kharma was in the ring staring down at the ground. Kharma talked in a normal voice that ever since she was a kid, she's had two dreams. The first was to become a WWE Superstar. Everyone said that her standing here in front of the audience was impossible. She even went out for Season Two of Tough Enough and Jim Ross told her she was too fat to ever be a WWE Diva. Kharma said she took his words, packed them up, and took them to Japan where she scrubbed the floors of dojos to become a *wrestling* master. Kharma said she moved on to every *wrestling* promotion in every dank, stank corner of the world.
Then, her dream came true when WWE made her a star. Her other dream is a little more possible. She said like many other girls and women, she's wanted to be a mother. She said she will because she is currently with child. Kharma said unfortunately for her, it's a high-risk pregnancy, so she cannot compete or do anything physically, but she will be back. She thanked everyone for letting her share her dream. Kharma vowed to be back.
Suddenly, the Bella Twins's music hit. Bella #1 sarcastically said she can't believe Kharma is pregnant. Bella #2 said they thought she was just really, really fat. The Bellas entered the ring and continued to mock Kharma, who then scared them across the ring. Kharma said she hopes when she comes back in one year, the Bellas will still be here because she has a new dream. Lawler said the Bellas's words to Kharma were way too much and over the line. Kharma made her way up the stage and turned back to stare into the ring to give the Bellas the evil eye. Lawler said he hopes Kharma gets to live out her next dream (destroying the Bellas).
Announcers: Cole and Lawler plugged Capitol Punishment based on the caricature PPV poster. Still nothing announced for the PPV. Lawler and Cole then did the same fake "dream" introduction leading to President Obama's fake press conference. There were some new fake questions. Back live, Cole had a good laugh before telling Lawler he has some weird dreams. Lawler said he thinks Obama will make a great WWE Superstar. Cole and Lawler read a fake list of invited guests for the PPV before plugging Cena vs. Truth still to come.
[Commercial Break. Jim Ross's Twitter response during the break: "Kharma will never be a standard issue wwe diva. She's a wrestler. And a keeper. JR shout outs always welcome on Raw. :)"]
[Q8] Announcers: Cole and Lawler voiced-over some more Memorial Day photographs. Back to the random men having a random outdoor volleyball game. Back to action, Cole said it's been a newsworthy show. Jack Swagger's music randomly played and he came out to the ring as Cole recapped Swagger beating Evan Bourne last week before Bourne popped Swagger in the post-match. Swagger then called out for Bourne, who came out to face Swagger.
4 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. JACK SWAGGER
Lawler asked Cole if Swagger should be on his traitor list and Cole said Swagger is right up there with Riley. Swagger and Bourne suddenly went flying over the top rope together, looking like something from a Tough Enough training session. Swagger then rolled Bourne back into the ring to make a cover for a nearfall. Swagger proceeded to do push-ups using Bourne's back as a base, which drew a reaction from the crowd. Swagger began toying with Bourne, who suddenly rolled up Swagger with a victory roll for a quick three and the win. Cole called it a "huge upset" for Bourne, showing WWE doesn't think much of Bourne despite Bourne being side-by-side with Cena just ten months ago. Post-match: Bourne quickly scurried out of the ring as Swagger threw a fit in the ring. His top was about to blow.
WINNER: Bourne at 3:16. Just another filler match between these two that could have meant much more. They're back to the same 'ol mid-card story with Swagger focusing on his temper and cockiness getting in the way of victories while Bourne is back to being a lower-carder who's only lucky if he gets a win. (*)
Backstage: Truth was inaudibly talking to an image of himself on a giant WWE transport trailer. Truth kept muttering, then they cut to a shot of Cena walking backstage. He stopped to talk with Zack Ryder, who looked like Eric Young carrying around a fake title belt. Scott Stanford was filming Ryder for his show, apparently. Cena and Ryder knocked fists as Ryder gave his "Follow me on Facebook" sign-off. Cena shot him a playful smile, then kept walking. The main event is next.
[Commercial Break. Oh yeah, Smackdown on Friday. The standard Smackdown video plug focused on Christian losing his next title shot three nights ago on Smackdown. This Friday: World Hvt. champion Randy Orton vs. Sheamus. It was the first mention on a 125-minute show there's a World Title match this Friday... On the way back from break, they ran an old Smackdown plug focusing on Undertaker, Rey, Kofi, and Show's finishing moves. You know, four guys who aren't even on Smackdown. ... Another plug for the live Tough Enough finale next Monday.]
In-ring: R-Truth walked out to his silent intro theme for the main event. They went to a replay of the opening segment that was cut off by technical difficulties. Back live, Truth was muttering to no one in particular. Truth started yelling and pointing at ringside fans, which made Chimel nervous. John Cena's music then hit to bring out the WWE champion. Cole recapped Truth's belief there's a conspiracy to keep him out of the main event and from keeping him from becoming a Superstar in WWE. Isn't everyone on the show already a Superstar? Cena then left the ring and greeted a serviceman ringside before returning to the ring to kick off the match.
[Q9 -- over-run]
5 -- WWE champion JOHN CENA vs. R-TRUTH -- non-title match
Cena and Truth locked up, Cena scored some early offense, and Truth bailed to the outside complaining about an unfair advantage. Cena scored some more offense and Truth bailed again. Truth paused to stare into the crowd and point at a fan on the second row. Truth kept walking around the ring pointing at fans. Cue up a loud dueling chant that excited Truth. Cena then clotheslined Truth and dropped the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Truth broke up the usual Cena routine by bailing to the floor to taunt the fans some more. Truth again bailed to the floor when Cena teased the Attitude Adjustment. Truth said he's not taking this.
Truth hopped over the guardrail and walked into the stands. Cena had enough and chased down Truth, who then clotheslined Cena to the arena floor. Truth hopped back over the guardrail and climbed into the ring. The ref reached a ten count and Cena was counted out, giving Truth the win.
WINNER: Truth via count-out at 4:01. More of a match than an angle, with the "match" serving as a means to an end of apparently giving Truth some smarts to go with his craziness.
Post-match: Truth walked back over to the kids and parent he greeted at the top of the show. Truth grabbed the kids's soda and threw it in the planted parent's face. Truth then ran away, leaving the parent to simply shake his head. Cena came over and checked on the family. A girl randomly walked up to Cena and grabbed his arm as he gave the parent his armband. They signed off with Cena standing next to the planted family befuddled by Truth's actions. Most Random Ending To Raw Ever.
FINAL THOUGHTS: What was this show? There were maybe two good segments the entire show. The rest was a complete mess or completely inefficient. It's another example of WWE needing an off-season, not just for their wrestlers, but for their writers and McMahon to actually plan out a show in-advance, take a breather to evaluate how they could be promoting the show more efficiently, and make some wholesale changes. This was awful. And they still have nothing for their next PPV and they spent a few seconds on a 125-minute show promoting a World Title match on Smackdown this Friday with the generic in-and-out-of-commercial video plug that everyone tunes out. Awful, awful, awful show from a business perspective.
We welcome your 0-10 score and comments on this show for a "Raw Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Raw, email to firstname.lastname@example.org using our Feedback form.
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