WWE Smackdown Report PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 5/7: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Jack Swagger vs. Kane
May 7, 2010 - 9:00:32 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
May 7, 2010
Taped 5/4/10 in North Charleston, S.C.
Aired on MyNetwork TV
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist
- WWE Open.
- They went to a video package of Jack Swagger’s speech at the end of Smackdown last week that ended with him face-down on the mat courtesy of a Big Show right hand.
- Smackdown Open.
- The announcers immediately hyped Swagger in singles action tonight against Kane, in a non-title match.
- Matt Hardy came out to start the show, apparently an unexpected occurrence according to Todd Grisham. He got a microphone and went into the ring. He cued up a video of McIntyre slamming his head into the ring steps two weeks ago, then DDT’ing him backstage last week. Hardy had some strong words for McIntyre, but didn’t get very far into his diatribe before McIntyre walked out. “Make me go away,” he told McIntyre. Drew brought up the fact that several months ago, Vince McMahon himself anointed him the future of the company. He called himself “the chosen one” and “untouchable.” Hardy challenged him to a fight, but McIntyre said Matt wasn’t getting the message, so he’ll have to beat it into Matt. Matt Striker on commentary thought this was a bad idea for Matt. The two started brawling in the ring like two pitbulls. Referees came out to break things up, but as they held Hardy, McIntyre attacked him from behind. As Hardy rolled out of the ring to avoid further punishment, McIntyre broke free of the referees to deliver more punishment.
Agents Tony Garea Mike Rotundo and Ricky Steamboat, as well as Teddy Long came down to restrain McIntyre. In the heat of the battle, Long suspended McIntyre. When Mac went back for more, Long stripped him of the title. Hilariously, a “Teddy” chant broke out from those in the first few rows. McIntyre again tried to get some more of Hardy, which prompted Long to fire McIntyre. He grabbed Long by the lapels before taking out Hardy one last time. Referees and agents took McIntyre to the back as he screamed, “I’m Drew McIntyre!,” as if he thought he couldn’t be fired. They showed a medic checking on Hardy, while the refs and agents were shown escorting Drew out of the building. He can’t even collect his stuff? “We’ll see who’s fired” were his final words. Back in the arena, Hardy got to his feet, favoring his left arm. Really good segment and intriguing to see where they go with it.
- Teddy Long was walking backstage when Josh Mathews caught up to him. He asked Long the condition of Matt Hardy. Long only said that he hoped Hardy was OK. Then he asked about McIntyre and Long said that he’s never experienced something like that in his life. Mathews asked about the I.C. Title, and Long admitted he had no idea what he’d do about it. I’m glad they asked about the title there; makes it seem important despite being overshadowed by McIntyre being kicked out and Matt’s injury.
1 – MVP vs. LUKE GALLOWS
Savannah is doing the ring announcing, by the way. During MVP’s entrance, they showed him and Mysterio taking on The Straight Edge Society last week. MVP fired away with rights on Gallows at the outset. Flying clothesline garnered him a quick two-count. Big boot in the corner missed, and Gallows took advantage by knocking him off the apron. Overhead butterfly suplex by Gallows for two. MVP fought out of a bearhug, as this has the looks of a quick match. “Show him the way” shouted Punk from ringside, which led to Gallows splashing MVP for two. Grisham touted MVP as the longest-reigning United States Champion in WWE history. The Miz could challenge that if he never has to defend the title. MVP made his comeback and hit the “Ballin’!” elbowdrop. Playmaker, but MVP was distracted by Serena. CM Punk was then attacked by Rey Mysterio outside the ring, and Mysterio retreated through the crowd. That distracted Gallows, allowing MVP to pick up the win with the Play of the Day (Shelton Benjamin’s Playdirt).
WINNER: MVP, at 3:48. Just a match to advance the issue between the SES and Mysterio.
- Striker plugged WWE.com and the list of the greatest luchadores in WWE history. Should be a short list.
- The Straight Edge Society were still in the ring. Punk called Rey Mysterio a coward for attacking him from behind. He said Mysterio hurt him and he cost Luke Gallows his match. He demanded Mysterio’s presence, because he had something to say to him. Rey obliged, bringing his own mic with him. Mysterio brought up the mystery masked man who has jumped him several times. He asked where he was this week. “You coward,” replied Punk. He said he had no idea what Rey was talking about in response to a mystery man, suggesting Rey was painting the inside of his mask with hallucinogens. Punk said the real reason Mysterio came out was because he wants to be saved, and to join the SES. Mysterio said Punk is the only one present who’s hallucinating: He came out to shave Punk’s head. Punk reminded Rey that he beat Mysterio at Extreme Rules. Mysterio brought up the fact that he beat Punk at Wrestlemania, making them even.
He asked for a rubber match at Over the Limit. If Rey loses, he’ll join the SES. If Punk loses, he has to shave his head, with Mysterio playing the role of Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. Punk took this as Rey realizing he had a problem, and said he’d love nothing more than to welcome Punk into the Society. Mysterio said he had a better idea, that being him pledging to the Society tonight…only if Punk shaves his own head now. Punk seemed to consider it, but then said it was not going to happen. Mysterio said he didn’t understand the SES…he said they have a good message, but the messenger is at fault. He said everyone wearing a Rey mask in the arena represented the good in Punk’s message. He even suggested they could work together to get Punk’s message across – only if Punk were to shave his head. Punk said that his hair is a symbol of purity. He asked what makes Luke and Serena different than Punk, since they seem to be doing most of the work; why are they bald and Punk is not? Mysterio said nothing will save Punk from the 619.
- Coming up, Kelly Kelly and Tiffany face LayCool next.
2 – TIFFANY & KELLY KELLY vs. MICHELLE MCCOOL & LAYLA
They showed Kelly Kelly getting sprayed with Lysol or something last night on Superstars. She’s been labeled “Smelly Kelly” by Simply Flawless. They even had “Smelly Kelly” t-shirts on. A monkey flip by Tiffany and McCool landed on her feet. She gloated too much, and Tiffany successfully landed another one. Vickie Guerrero and Layla cut off Tiffany outside the ring, and McCool dropkicked her through the ropes. Layla tagged in and missed a splash, as Tiffany got her knees up. The camera showed that even if Layla had connected, it still would’ve landed on Tiffany’s knees. Kelly made the hot tag and cleaned house. Kelly butchered her hand-spring, but Layla couldn’t capitalize. Flying cross-body by Tiffany got two, as McCool broke up the pin. In the end, Layla hit the Lay-Out neck-breaker on Tiffany for the win (“Lay-Out because there’s nothing but silence after that” said Striker…is that a reference to Vince McMahon producing the announcers and telling them to “lay out” when he wants them silent?).
WINNERS: LayCool, at 2:55. Not good.
- Mathews was backstage with Teddy Long, who held the I.C. Title. He said that four wrestlers will compete in a tournament, with the winners facing off against each other next week for the Title. Tonight, it’ll be Christian vs. Cody Rhodes and Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler. That match is next.
While I’m happy that I’ll get to see the crowning of an I.C. Champion live in Buffalo next week, I realized I wouldn’t be able to see Drew McIntyre and hear his awesome theme music live. That really blows. As for this match, Kingston owned Ziggler early on, diving through the ropes and onto Ziggler at ringside. Ziggler was able to get the advantage back, but they went to break with the referee counting Kingston out of the ring. He was at five when they went to commercial. Poor timing.
Ziggler had Kingston in a rear chin-lock on the mat back from break. I guess Kingston didn’t get counted out. The announcers could’ve made mention of that upon return. Cody Rhodes was shown watching the match on a monitor backstage. Dropkick by Ziggler for two. He continued to keep Kingston grounded as Striker name-dropped Prince Nana. Ziggler then elbow-dropped Kingston. Another rest-hold for Ziggler, and another reverse chin-lock. Kofi did his flip into a pinning combination for two. Ziggler rolled up Kingston, with his feet on the ropes for leverage, only to get a two-count. Another chin-lock from Ziggler. Seriously, change it up a bit Dolph. Jaw-breaker by Kofi created some space for him to recover. Ziggler missed a splash in the corner and Kingston found new life. Boom Drop found the mark as I got distracted by the guy in the “BWO” t-shirt in the crowd. Cross-body by Kofi, but Ziggler rolled through for a near-fall. Ziggler attempted to lock in the sleeper, but Kofi fought it. Finally, he applied it fully. Ziggler hot-shotted himself on the top rope via Kingston, who then nailed a nice-looking Trouble in Paradise for the win.
WINNER: Kingston, at 11:58. A little under expectations, thanks to the numerous chin-locks by Ziggler.
- The same clips of Swagger and his interview last week that aired at the top of the show aired again here.
- Still to come tonight, Jack Swagger faces Kane.
- The announcers discussed the card for Over the Limit as it has been announced thus far.
- Christian made his entrance for the other Semi-Final match in the I.C. Title tournament. It’s coming up next.
4 – CHRISTIAN vs. CODY RHODES
Heath Slater was at ringside with Christian, his NXT Pro. Christian stepped on Cody’s back while he was throat-first over the middle rope, then he tossed him over the top and to the outside. Dropkick through the ropes by Christian, followed by what was going to be a springboard cross-body, but Rhodes got out of the way before Christian could jump. Rhodes lured Christian in and threw him head-first into the ring steps. The uncommon son of the common man (so said Striker) continued the punishment inside the ring. Christian got a surprise roll-up for two. Rhodes recovered and dropkicked Christian in the back. He was in firm control as they went to break about four minutes in.
Rhodes dropped Christian front-first from a suplex position out of break. Christian flailed unsuccessfully with a right hand, leading to Rhodes getting a pin attempt for one. Kingston was shown scouting the match on a monitor backstage. Superplex by Rhodes, but it took a lot out of him as well. Once on their feet, a back-and-forth ensued until Christian clotheslined Rhodes to the arena floor. Rhodes perched himself on the second rope back in the ring, but Christian caught him with a fist to the gut. Dropkick off the second rope by Christian for a very near fall. Slater shouted words of encouragement to Christian from ringside. Christian went for another high-risk move, missing a cross-body from the top. Inside cradle by Christian for two. Killswitch countered, but so was a suplex attempt. Reverse DDT for two by Christian. Rhodes pulled Christian off the second turnbuckle, but couldn’t capitalize. He went for a moonsault off the top and connected for a very near-fall. Rhodes got angry, but Christian threw him into the ring-post. Killswitch followed for the win by Christian.
WINNER: Christian, at 13:41. I loved that match. Blew the other IC Title Semi-Final match out of the water.
- They showed a highlight package on the Big Show, starting two weeks ago when he and Miz lost the tag titles to the Hart Dynasty, and including his greatest hits collection from last week’s Smackdown.
- Jack Swagger was walking backstage. He’s in action next.
- Striker thanked Fit For Rivals for the Over the Limit theme song, “Crash.”
- They showed Drew McIntyre’s attack on Matt Hardy from earlier in the show.
- Next week, the Intercontinental Title will be on the line when Christian takes on Kofi Kingston.
- Savannah introduced Jack Swagger, the World Heavyweight Championship. He got the mic prior to his match and wanted to remind everyone just how good he really is. He said he was the first high-school athlete to be nominated for an ESPY. He said he was state tennis champion in singles and doubles. As he continued to tout his skills, Striker said they had to go to break.
Swagger was still talking about himself out of break, talking about being President of the National Honor Society. This crowd is not nearly into booing Swagger as last week’s, but they did pepper him with a “you suck” chant. Swagger asked, “where was Big Show” when he was accomplishing everything. He answered his own question, saying Big Show was in a special ed class and taking the short bus to school. After some kind of edit, Kane’s pyro hit. We’ve got a match, folks.
5 – JACK SWAGGER vs. KANE
Swagger seemed surprised by Kane taking him down. Surprised and angry. Then Big Show’s music hit, and he came out in a suit, waving to all the fans. Nothing was happening in the ring as he made his way to the announce table. Swagger pounded away on Kane, but Kane took Swagger down for a near-fall. However, Swagger went for the legs and hooked in a front face-lock. Kane ended up crotching Swagger on the top rope. Swagger fought away from Kane and went to the top for a double axe-handle, but Kane caught him with a chop to the throat. Striker was funny sucking up to Show, calling him “sir” all the time. Corner clothesline by Kane, followed up by a sidewalk slam. That got a very near-fall for the big man. Kane went to the top and clotheslined Swagger off the top. He set up for the chokeslam, but Swagger pushed Kane into the corner where the turnbuckle was exposed. He kept shoving Kane ribs-first into the corner and wouldn’t break, leading to a DQ from the referee.
WINNER: Kane, via DQ, at 5:13.
The announcers hinted that Swagger was sending a message to Big Show with his continued assault. Swagger left the ring and posed with the belt in front of Show. That led to Kane coming from behind and clotheslining Swagger to the ground. Big Show helped Kane clean off the announce table, but Swagger fought back and pushed Kane shoulder-first into the ring-post. Show came from behind and chokeslammed him onto the table, which didn’t break so much as slowly collapse. Looked painful. Show grabbed the belt and put it over his shoulder in the ring. His music played as they showed a replay of all three men’s attacks outside the ring. Show stared at a crumpled Swagger as they faded out.
Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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