NWA-TNA pay-per-view #38
March 26, 2003
Live from Nashville, Tenn.
By Gregg Allinson, Torch Team Contributor

Jeremy Borash kicks things off by introducing Goldylocks, who sings America the Beautiful, with an unidentified accompanist on acoustic guitar. Much classier and more appropriate to world events than Hacksaw Duggan's rah-rah speech from last week.

Very long recap of last week's show, including clips of D-Lo Brown's confrontation with Jeff Jarrett, the Next Generation's attack, the continuing situation with Trinity, Kid Kash, and Amazing Red, the big six-man match with the Next Generation vs. Jarrett & Brown & Dusty Rhodes, and the Raven-A.J. Styles ladder match.

After the opening credits, Styles bursts into the Asylum, brandishing a chainsaw. He kicks down the door to the SEE locker room and shouts at Glen Gilbertti for costing him his match against Raven last week. He tells SEE that they all suck and that Gilbertti needs to be in the ring to face him in "30 minutes." That's Gilbertti's cue to ad-lib a line to make up for Styles' flub: "30 minutes? Or 30 seconds?" After the confusion is cleared up and Styles has entered the ring, Gilbertti refuses to go out because he doesn't have his gear. Sanders and Gilbertti start arguing again and Gilbertti sends Sanders out instead, giving Sanders yet another "final shot" at redemption for continually jobbing to Hacksaw Duggan.

(1) A.J. Styles defeated Mike Sanders. Styles comes out punching and does an awesome- yet wacky- springboard dropkick thing. Sanders tosses Styles out of the ring. Styles gets back in quickly for a near fall. Sanders drives Styles down to the mat and lays a number of hard kicks on his back. Sanders follows up with some chops and pushes Styles' head into the turnbuckles with his foot. Sanders almost pins Styles, then locks him in a sleeperhold. Styles tries elbowing out. Sanders pushes Styles down to the mat.

Sanders nails Sanders with a couple of clotheslines and a kick. Styles hits a dropkick for a two count. Styles lays a bunch of stiff kicks on Sanders and tries locking him in the Styles Clash, but Sanders breaks up the move by grabbing the bottom rope. Sanders recovers and gets a near fall. Styles takes Sanders up and tries- unsuccessfully- for a pinfall. Styles superkicks Sanders and goes to the top, but Sonny Siaki runs in and pushes him off the top rope. Gilbertti distracts the referee. Siaki holds Styles in place for a Sanders superkick, but Styles ducks. Gilbertti holds out a pair of brass knuckles on the ring apron. Styles whips Sanders into Gilbertti, then pins him.

Before leaving the ring, Styles has words with Gilbertti. Sanders and Gilbertti get ready to fight, but Siaki breaks them up before they come to blows.

Recap of the Jerry Lynn-Konnan feud.

(2) Jerry Lynn defeated "King of the Lucha Jobbers" Konnan. Konnan did some mic work making fun of the crowd before Lynn rushes into the ring. Konnan beats Lynn down with punches and kicks until he twists Lynn down into a submission hold. Konnan sends Lynn out of the ring (I'm beginning to feel like there can't be a TNA match without at least a little out-of-ring action. Is there some kind of law about this in Tennessee?). Lynn capitalizes on the situation by whipping Konnan into the security gate. Lynn goes for a huracanrana and gets caught by Konnan, who powerbombs him. Back in the ring, Lynn and Konnan slug away at each other. Konnan puts the boots to Lynn.

Konnan climbs to the top rope. Lynn sticks his foot up, catching Konnan square in the jaw after his dive off the top. Lynn dropkicks Konnan, then rolls him up for a two count. Lynn basement dropkicks Konnan. Konnan tries pinning Lynn, who kicks out. Lynn hits a DDT for a near fall. Lynn goes for the cradle piledriver. Konnan nearly reverses it, but Lynn rolls him up for the victory.

Following the match, a bizarre luchador in a yellow outfit attacks Lynn. Neither Lynn nor Konnan seem to know who it is. Personally, I thought it was Amazing Red, but considering the fact that it was a mysterious man in yellow, I'm not ruling out Barry Windham.

"Earlier today," Mike Tenay sat down with Jeff Jarrett. Did Jarrett expect to have so many challengers for his NWA World Title? Yes, and the NWA World Champion needs to expect that. What about his challengers? Tenay rattles them off one by one. A.J. Styles? Jarrett feels he's a phenomenon, but he needs to work on his self-confidence. Raven? He worked his ass off to get a title shot, but his best days may be behind him. Ron Killings? He's got a chip on his shoulder and he can go ahead and turn his back on TNA if he's going to be that way. D-Lo Brown? A shrewd negotiator and a talented wrestler. Erik Watts? A joke. Tenay then asks Jarrett how he feels about the fact that everyone who's feuding with him seems to have a personal issue with him. Jarrett says anyone who's successful is going to eventually build up a number of personal issues. Is he upset about David Flair parading around with Ric Flair's NWA World Title belt? Yes, and Dusty Rhodes is even more upset because [supposedly] there's only three copies of the NWA World Title in existence: one belongs to Dusty Rhodes, the other to Jeff Jarrett, and the third to Ric Flair. What about Terry Funk's? Does Jeff Jarrett regret making his feud with Vince Russo so personal by involving Russo's children in it? Jarrett gets visibly upset and is offended that Tenay would even ask him that question.

Recap of Raven's TNA career. Very well produced and featuring this awesome metal song which beats the hell out of any other TNA theme song, including the New Church's. Hell, I don't know why they're not using it as Raven's theme.

The Disciples of the New Church are the latest workers to get a TNATron video, based on that awesome "Evil never rests" promo video they were showing in October and November of last year. Father James Mitchell, Slash, and "Killdozer" Brian Lee enter the ring. Mitchell takes the mic and says that SEE has made a mistake by challenging the New Church. He explains the rules of the S&M ("sadistic mayhem," not what you were thinking) match, saying that the referee can't make a three count on a wrestler until the wrestler is bleeding. While most wrestlers start to get woozy after blood loss, the New Church only gets stronger.

Double X (Elix Skipper and Christopher Daniels this week) and the Harris Brothers walk out, accompanied by this funky disco rap. Daniels calls SEE a "better religion" than the New Church since it has so many more "followers." The SEE quartet threaten to make the New Church bleed, to which Mitchell replies "You want blood? You got it." The New Church attack SEE, but get beat down due to SEE's numerical superiority. Sandman runs in and briefly turns the tide before he too is overcome. The lights are killed and a TNATron with bizarre symbols airs. The symbols give way to a name: "Saturn." Perry Saturn destroys SEE and stands side-by-side with the New Church and Sandman.

Meanwhile, back at Old McDusty's farm, Rhodes loads up a wheelbarrow full of weapons. He's mad because David Flair has no respect for the NWA World Title. Rhodes will teach Flair respect.

Tenay and Don West hype up the S&M match.

Video package of Sonny Siaki attacking Athena last week.

From the centre of the ring, David Young badmouths Sonny Siaki for attacking Athena last week. Young calls Athena to ringside, and she walks down the entrance ramp wearing a neckbrace. Young's mic work was reminiscent of Arn Anderson's- not as good as Arn's, mind you, but not too shabby either and definitely in the tradition of the Enforcer.

(3) David Young NC Sonny Siaki. Young dominates, doing a cross body block for a two count and following up with a couple of enziguiris and a suplex. Young goes to the outside and tries giving Siaki a huracanrana, but Siaki smashes Young into the ring steps. Siaki gets Young in a sleeper, but (all together now) Young raises his arm at the last minute before passing out. You know, just once, I'd like to see the sleeper knock somebody out. Young does a dropkick for a near fall and follows it up with one of his utterly evil spinebusters. Young calls Athena up to the ring apron and has her slap Siaki. Athena then gets in the ring and kicks Siaki in the jimmies. Desire runs in and punches Athena in the back. Young separates the two women, but Siaki sneaks up behind him and does a Siakilypse Now on Young. Desire and Siaki handcuff Young to one of the ring ropes. Siaki does the Siakilypse on Athena. Referees and security arrive, too late to prevent Athena from coming to any harm. Best part of this match was Sonny Siaki trying to keep his pants from falling down.

Erik Watts, surrounded by his cronies, tries to cut a promo. It's not pretty, kids. Seriously, what in the heck reason is there for this guy to be in a wrestling promotion, let alone in a major feud in the second biggest promotion in the USA? He's horrendous on the mic and vanilla- at best- in the ring. Anyway, the lights go out again (a gag that always makes me shout "Sabu!" No, I never get tired of it) and when they come on, Jeff Jarrett is in the ring and lays out Watts with a guitar shot. As the Next Generation retreat, I notice that David Flair is dressed as a Dupp for inexplicable reasons. Before you ask, no, that's not the strangest thing on the show.

Now alone in the ring, Jarrett calls out all of his contenders. D-Lo Brown answers the challenge. D-Lo was promised an even playing field and a title shot before he came to TNA, yet somehow it seems like he's always getting dragged into fighting Jarrett's battles. He demands a match with Jarrett after he wrestles Chris Harris. Yes, that's right- D-Lo Brown, who's supposedly a face (or at the very least, a tweener who generally acts like a face and is regarded as a face by the crowd), is taking on a face tag team wrestler in a singles match before he takes on the face champion. It doesn't make any sense to me either. Jarrett accepts the challenge.

Glen Gilbertti leads the Harris Brothers to the ring and says that this isn't WWE, where they leave their brains at the door. Why did he say that? OK, figure this out, if you can: since Raven is the #1 contender to the NWA World Title, SEE can call the shots when it comes to title matches, and they don't want D-Lo and Jarrett to wrestle tonight. Tenay gets all upset, saying that he hates it when Gilbertti makes sense, but the problem is, he doesn't make any sense at all. Even if D-Lo beats Jarrett in the match, Raven would still be the #1 contender to the NWA World Title and would wrestle Brown in a title match, so what do SEE as an entity or Raven as a person have to lose by D-Lo and Jarrett wrestling each other? In fact, theoretically, a Jarrett-Brown match would soften both men up for a well-rested Raven next week. Furthermore, if there's any precedent for the quasi-manager of a #1 contender having any authority over how or when a title match can take place, I missed it. Gilbertti says that D-Lo will get his shot next week, but to counter the "Jeff Jarrett Machine," (i.e. NWA-TNA faces aligned with Jarrett, such as America's Most Wanted and Dusty Rhodes) SEE will be in D-Lo's corner. Also, if D-Lo wins, he has to bring the title back to the SEE locker room and become their newest member. D-Lo and Jarrett accept those terms.

Back at the announcer's table, Mike Tenay wishes that there were an acting commissioner to lay down the law. Hey, throw a message in a bottle out to sea- I'm sure it'll reach Bullet Bob Armstrong and/or J.J. Dillon on the TNA Island of Lost Souls sooner or later.

(4) Dusty Rhodes defeated David Flair in a Bunkhouse Stampede match. When I read on the TNA website that Rhodes would be facing a mystery opponent in this match, I prayed for Bunkhouse Buck. Oh well- at least now I know why Flair was dressed as a Dupp. Total squash, although at least it looks like Big Dust was having fun (he put his cowboy hat on the referee's head). For the record, Rhodes pinned Flair after a cowbell shot.

After the match, Rhodes reclaims Flair's stolen NWA World Title belt, but Grandmaster Lawler swoops in and steals it back from him.

Backstage, Goldylocks talks to Chris Harris and James Storm about Harris' rare singles match. Harris says that he requested it, and it's not a big deal. He just wants to prove he can still win on his own, although he does get a little upset when Goldy looks at James Storm. If they split AMW up, I'm marching to Tennessee to cuss out Jerry Jarrett to his face.

(5) Kid Kash & Trinity defeated Amazing Red & Alexis Laree in an Intergender Tag Team Match. Red and Kash start the match. The inevitable X-Division staredown ensues. Red twists Kash's arm. Kash reverses and gets Red in a hammerlock. Trinity wins the match for her team with a moonsault. Very, very boring.

Backstage, Goldylocks asks Jerry Lynn who the mystery luchador is. Lynn has no idea. Maybe Goldylocks should ask Konnan. She says she already did. Lynn tells her to ask again.

(6) D-Lo Brown defeated "Wildcat" Chris Harris. The two competitors shake hands before locking up. Harris and Brown both try dropkicking each other, but both miss. Another handshake followed by another lock-up. Harris clotheslines D-Lo an follows up with a suplex.

Harris does a cross body block for a near fall. Brown rams Harris into the referee, knocking him down. D-Lo goes for a frog splash, only to eat canvas when Chris Harris rolls out of the way. Harris misses an elbow-drop before getting taken down by Gilbertti and Siaki. Brown pins Harris.

Mike Tenay hypes next week's Jarrett vs. Brown match before Don West goes into his famous Don West Shill! More hype for Jarrett-Brown! A very special NASCAR announcement (if I recall correctly, PWTorch.com said it's TNA sponsoring Hermie Sadler's car. Just so long as it's not a NASCAR-inspired wrestler, ala Marvel Comics' failed football superhero NFL Superpro, I'll be happy)!

(7) The Disciples of the New Church (Slash & "Killdozer" Brian Lee w/ Father James Mitchell) & The Sandman & Perry Saturn defeated Double X (Christopher Daniels & Elix Skipper) & The Harris Brothers (Ron & Don) in an S&M Match. Sandman cuts himself before the match even starts by slamming a beer can into his forehead. As you might expect, just an all-out brawl. I think Perry Saturn's awesome German suplexes were the only wrestling moves in the entire match. Too chaotic to be really enjoyable, but at least it was bloody.

Near the end of the match, Ron Killings attacks the Harris Brothers (huh?) and Mabel (a.k.a. Viscera) waddles in to take out Christopher Daniels. Saturn pins Daniels. Siaki and Gilbertti run in and beat down the New Church and Team ECW, then set up some tables. Jeff Jarrett arrives just in the nick of time with a chair to save the faces. D-Lo rushes in and argues with Jarrett, then gets laid out with a chairshot to end the show.

The Bottom Line: I thought the first hour was strong, and I was particularly impressed by the way TNA is drawing out feuds without making them seem drawn out. It's a pleasant change from WWE's feuds, where it seems like two guys will start fighting over nothing two weeks before a pay-per-view. Heck, they're even making Glen Gilbertti vs. Mike Sanders a somewhat compelling feud.

The second hour was a mess, though. I know they made some effort to explain why D-Lo Brown was facing Chris Harris, but the whole thing ended up being a head-scratcher anyway. The intergender tag match was bland, and while the main was kind of fun, too much was going on, so it ended up becoming a bit of a mess.

As far as the now-requisite surprises go, Perry Saturn is a guy who I never thought got the credit he deserves. If he sticks around, he'll make an excellent addition to Sandman's (forgotten?) Team ECW stable. Apart from an appearance on last month's WWA PPV, he also hasn't been seen on TV in a while, which lends him an aura of freshness and helps him avoid the "WWE castoff" tag some have placed on Raven and D-Lo Brown.

On the other hand, King Mabel? Ron Killings is at a crucial juncture in his career, trying to re-establish himself as a dominant heel in TNA after months as a virtually invisible face. The last thing he needs is to be paired with a washed-up worker who had one of the worst "rapping wrestler" gimmicks this side of PN News, especially considering the fact that Killings himself raps as part of his act. I guess I shouldn't get too upset, considering he'll probably vanish into the same black hole that swallowed up Simon & Swinger, EZ Money, and Steve Corino. By the same virtue, I don't even see the point in bringing him into TNA in the first place, especially considering I'd rather see Simon & Swinger, EZ Money, and Steve Corino on TNA.

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