By Wade Keller, Torch editor

WWE SMACKDOWN
MARCH 24, 2005
TAPED TUESDAY IN MEMPHIS, TENN.

-After the opening, Michael Cole and Tazz introduced the show. They hyped that John Cena cannot touch JBL or he'll lose his title shot at WM21.

-Josh Matthews interviewed Big Show in mid-ring. Show talked briefly about Akebono as his opponent. Luther Reigns interrupted by driving a Jeep onto the rampway. He told Show that he is going to embarrass the entire Smackdown locker room when he gets crushed by Akebono at WM. He said he should be the opponent of Akebono at WM, not Big Show. He vowed to prove how strong he was by tipping the 4,200 pound Jeep over. He failed to do it. Big Show laughed. Reigns, fuming mad, walked to the ring. Show gave him a chokeslam. Good mic work from Big Show. It's sad that Show's WM hype consists of basically feuding with someone on TV who isn't his opponent. Reigns's delivery was good. As Show walked toward the back, he looked at the Jeep and decided to prove he could tip it over. Show rammed into the side of the Jeep. The first shoulder block looked like it hurt Show more than the truck. The fans then cheered as Show began shaking the car and getting momentum to tip it over. Show took a step back, measured it up again, and as the fans cheered, he caught his breath. He then rocked the truck again and then bashed in the windshield with his bare hand. Then he tried again and this time tipped it over. The camera cut away for some reason just as it began to tip, making it look as if something suspicious happened off camera that they were avoiding showing. Cole said he couldn't wait for Smackdown next week in Houston for the official weigh-in in Houston. Cole said the Jeep 3,400 pounds, knocking 800 pounds off of Reigns's estimate two minutes earlier. Ultimately, the segment did a nice job visually creating the impression that Show vs. Akebono will be a clash of two gigantic men.

-Chavo Guerrero again tried to get Eddie worked up backstage. He seemed to get through to Eddie when he pointed out that Mysterio got all the glory last week after Guerrero did all the work. He also said Guerrero's have a traditional stealing and cheating, not Mysterio.

-They plugged Rey & Eddie vs. Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas later.

[Commercial Break]

-Cole and Tazz plugged that Sylvester Stallone would be inducting Hulk Hogan into the Hall of Fame. They plugged his show "The Contender." Cole said all of the inductors for the seven inductees are available at WWE.com.

1 -- JBL vs. SCOTTY 2 HOTTY

As the wrestlers walked to the ring, they slowed down to look at the tipped over Jeep. Before the match, JBL pie-faced Scotty. Scotty kicked him and Jordan in the face, then gave JBL the Worm. That made JBL so mad, he dominated and won the actual match in less than a minute with his Clothesline from Hell.

WINNER: JBL at 0:54.

STAR RATING: 1/4* -- It's not a bad idea to show the Clothesline from Hell decapitating someone like Scotty as part of the final hard sell for the match. JBL's resume should be more than his mic work, and having a "killer finisher" is something they've done a below-average job getting across since his title reign began.

-Matthews knocked on Kurt Angle's locker room door. Angle told him he has another blast from Shawn Michaels's past. "If you thought Marty Jannetty was something, you haven't seen nothing yet."

-Cole plugged Michelle McCool vs. Dawn Marie in a cat fight.

[Commercial Break]

-Eddie approached Rey backstage. He said they should be in a match at WrestleMania. Rey agreed. Eddie said he had an idea. He told Rey his idea. Rey laughed, as if he didn't think Eddie was serious. Eddie looked at Rey and said, "I'm dead serious." Rey wasn't thrilled and said, "You caught me off guard." Rey said they need to defend their tag titles and they should talk about it later. Cole said he was surprised and questioned the timing of Eddie's suggestion. Tazz said he felt Guerrero was just joking around. That conversation between Rey and Guerrero probably isn't far off from how it went in real life, at least in terms of saying to each other that there was no match planned for them at WM and they should do something special, and facing each other would be the best chance at that.

-As Charlie Haas and Hardcore Holly walked to the ring, the lights went low and Undertaker appeared on the big screen. He said there would be a sacrifice tonight.

[Commercial Break]

-Carlito Cool came out and imitated Elvis, singing and dancing. As a Minnesotan, I'm glad Prince wasn't as big as Elvis because I'd get tired of every travelling act making a reference to Prince. At the Duran Duran concert on Tuesday night, sure enough, Simon Le Bon brought up Prince.

2 -- REY MYSTERIO & EDDIE GUERRERO vs. CHARLIE HAAS & HARDCORE HOLLY -- WWE Tag Team Title match

At 1:30 Rey was about to hit his 619, the lights flickered again and Rey stopped in his tracks. They cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from the break, the lights were back on and the heels were in control. Cole said Taker cost the champs their momentum. Guerrero cleaned house after a hot-tag at 6:00. He hit the Three Amigos at 6:30 on Haas. He went for the frog splash, but moved. Holly then gave Guerrero a full-nelson driver. Haas crawled over and scored a near fall. Credit Cole for eliminating the annoying "he's got him, it's over" out of his commentary for every near fall. Rey broke up a submission hold by Haas with a Drop the Dime. Mysterio headscissored Holly over the top rope. Guerrero launched Rey into the air onto Haas's shoulders. Rey took him down with a huracanrana. Guerrero followed up with a frog splash for the win.

WINNERS: Guerrero & Rey at 8:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Solid tag match.

-Afterward, Rey approached Guerrero and accepted his challenge. They seemed mutually excited about "tearing the house down at WrestleMania."

[Commercial Break]

-A clip aired of Steve Austin and Mike Tyson on Raw in 1998 with Austin giving Tyson the finger. That Austin entrance music has become nostalgic. Cole and Tazz then plugged Austin on Piper's Pit at WrestleMania.

-Shawn Michaels's music then played and Kurt Angle came out dressed up like Michaels and mocking his entrance routine. He then introduced Sensational Sherri, the original manager of Michaels when he first became a singles heel in the WWF. She was one of the best - and most underrated - managers of her era, especially in terms of ringside heat-generating without taking away from the action inside the ring. Her promos weren't bad, either, although they did get a little grating at times. After Angle and Sherri did their entrance routine inside the ring, Angle said he just proved he is a better entertainer than Michaels. It was pretty funny seeing Angle act like Michaels.

Angle said Sensational Sherri turned Michaels into a somebody early in his career. Angle pointed out that in Shawn's entrance music, it's Sherri who is shouting Michaels's name. Angle said he thinks the song sucks. Angle said because Michaels sings his own song, he is going to prove he can do it better. Sherri then began with the "Oh, Shawn!" Angle then danced like Michaels and sang with his own lyrics. Angle looked quite comfortable doing the strip-tease dance. A great Smackdown moment for the ages, seeing those two dance and hearing them sing. Michaels then interrupted on the big screen. He told Sherri she is looking as beautiful as ever. He said, "Well, that's no true. You don't look so good." Michaels then asked if the Smackdown fans would mind if he played a career retrospect since Angle's career video aired on Raw earlier in the week. The video them played.

Sherri was laughing. Angle didn't know why. He confronted her. She said it was part of her history. Angle asked her for a kiss on the cheek. She gave it to him. He immediately dropped her to the mat and put her in the Anklelock. She screamed in pain and did a great job selling it. Angle said, "This is Shawn Michaels." WWE officials ran into the ring to check on Sherri, who wept in pain.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- DAWN MARIE vs. MICHELLE MCCOOL

Dawn and Michelle went it right away. Dawn handled most of the offense and Michelle just gave her her body. There wasn't much fake about it as Dawn just tossed her around, not giving her a chance to have to sell anything that wasn't real. The lights flickered during the match, but Taker didn't sacrifice either of them.

WINNER: Dawn at 3:02.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Quick, intense, and served its purpose.

-Backstage Funaki interviewed Carlito, still dressed up as Elvis. Carlito said if Elvis was around, he'd spit in his face. He then gave Funaki his Elvis sunglasses. Funaki then did an Elvis impersonation. Carlito hit Funaki from behind with a guitar. Jeff Jarrett just got as upset as Tazz did a few years ago when anyone showed up wearing orange on their wrestling gear.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- BOOKER T vs. RENE DUPREE

I'm glad that the Dark Days of Smackdown early on in the Laurenaitis Administration where Rene Dupree, Kenzo Suzuki, and Heidenreich were the centerpiece of the shows is part of the past. Dupree has been put in his proper place as a short-match jobber. Kenzo is all but invisible. Heidenreich is being featured as a sideshow attraction in limited form. A minute into the match, the lights flickered again. Taker then appeared in the ring behind Dupree, Booker hopped out of the ring and Taker then grabbed a shocked Dupree and gave him a chokeslam. Cole said Taker seemed to "appear out of the air." Taker rammed Dupree in the skull with steel steps.

WINNER: No contest.

[Commercial Break]

-They replayed Taker's attack. Cole said Dupree had been taken to a local hospital.

-A clip aired of JBL with Linda McMahon behind him "ringing the bell" to close trading yesterday on Wall Street.

-JBL drove out in his white limo. He stepped out of his car as they cut to another break.

[Commercial Break]

-JBL and Cena stood mid-ring. Long reiterated the step that Cena will lose his title shot if he gets physical with JBL. Long added that if JBL hits Cena, Cena has the right to retaliate. JBL wasn't pleased. JBL gave a speech first. He addressed Triple H's comments, referring to him as "the other champion," and said that he may be a ten time champion, but he's lost it nine times. He boasted that he is a one-time champion, and he's held it longer than any champion in near ten years - including "that champion on the other brand." By not mentioning Hunter by name, it actually made it seem like JBL didn't want to give Hunter the rub of being mentioned. He did a good job making his case. It helps build up the Raw vs. Smackdown rivalry by having the respective heel champs argue with each other. Cena then began by saying JBL may claim to be a wrestling god, but it's tough to take seriously when he drives a broken down limo. JBL said his limo wasn't broken down. Cena said, "Let's take a look." He walked over to the limo, poked a hole in the tire, scratched the paint, and sprayed painted "JBL sucks" on it. JBL had to resist retaliating physically.

Long asked JBL how important it is for a champion to have a certain upbringing. JBL said it's very important. He said the only way someone like Cena could be in a limo like his is if they're driving him around. JBL told Cena he has no class. Cena asked the audience if he's dressing okay. Cena asked if they could solve everything if he wore a suit and tie. JBL told him he'd look better in a tie because right now he looks like a piece of crap. Cena walked up to JBL and clipped off his tie with scissors. JBL got bug-eyed as Cena snipped. Cena tucked the tie into his jersey. Then he said, "I feel like a banker in this. This look sucks." JBL took off his jacket. Cena asked JBL to go ahead and throw a punch. He gave him his chin. JBL said, "No, I'm not playing your games. You do not outplay the master. At WrestleMania, you will have all you want, but until then, son, play your stupid games."

Long then began asking his next question. Cena interrupted and finished the question, asking, "What do I need to do to get this punk swinging at me." He asked, "What if right here right now I prove the wrestling god, the man of class, JBL, to be nothing but a liar." Cena asked everyone to watch closely. He took off JBL's hat. He put it on. JBL said, "I hate you!" Cena asked JBL if he minded if he found out how many gallons his thousand dollar hat holds. Cena poured two pitchers of water into it. It overflowed. Cena said, "That doesn't hold ten gallons. That means you're a liar." He then put the hat back on JBL, drenching him in water. Cena told JBL it looks like he had an accident on himself and recommended diapers. Cena asked JBL to show him what it will be like at WrestleMania. He turned it up to 11 and said, "You punch me right now and I promise you I will knock the hell out of you." Cena laughed when JBL didn't do anything. Cena told JBL that as clever as he thinks he is, he is more clever. Cena then shook a spray paint can by his ear while saying, "I'm not touching you!" He then sprayed painted yellow on his back. Cena told JBL that seeing the world "we" (pointing to the audience) we come from, "there are people who talk about it, and there's people who be about it!" He said at WrestleMania 21, he would give him a preview of his future. He sprayed painted "FU" in red paint on his chest. Very good segment.

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