By B.J. Bethel, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Smackdown
Aired October 24th, 2002
Taped October 22nd, 2002
From Memphis, Tenn.

Hey, we get the actual "opening" this week, chock full of glimpses of your favorite wrestlers. I guess Marilyn Manson's check cleared.

1st Quarter Hour

(1) Rikishi defeated Matt Hardy with a sit-out piledriver for the three count. Rikishi besmirched Mattitude by using Matt's t-shirt as a butt wipe. Kind of like the writers use their wrestling talent. Matt's punches couldn't get the big man off his feet, so Rikishi punched him down instead. Matt fired back with a flying forearm from the top rope and a choke against the top rope. Matt tried the punches again to no success, but a neckbreaker proved otherwise. Rikishi came back with a hip toss and an ass splash in the corner, setting him up for the stinkface as the crowd gave a collective roar. As Rikishi went for the stinkface, Hardy kicked him in the crotch, which Cole pointed out that the ref couldn't see. Hardy tried a couple power moves and the Twist of Fate, but Rikishi pushed him off into the ropes and caught him with his old sit-out piledriver for the three count. Wow, it's been a while since we seen that.

Rikishi was doing his Michael Jackson impression when Big Show hit the ring and laid him out with a choke slam. Show then told the crowd his name, his height and weight and let everyone know he had been traded to Smackdown and he was here to "make an impact." He called out Lesnar and called him a coward, saying he wouldn't have the guts to face him.

2nd Quarter Hour

Stephanie is out in the ring with a trophy. Stephanie can't touch Katie Vick on the mic skills, I'm telling you. Apparently, the trophy is for Benoit and Angle.  Angle said he's glad Stephanie made him "set aside" his differences with Benoit and "single handedly" led his team to glory. Benoit grabbed the mic, and the trophy, and told Angle to leave his "Olympic sized ego" in the locker room. He took credit for the win in the tag tourney, and said Angle should be glad Stephanie made the stip during the tourney or he would have kicked his ass by now. Angle called him "toothless aggression" and became upset. Benoit threatened to make him eat the trophy. Both men began fighting over the trophy in a tug of war, and Stephanie inadvertently ended up down on the mat after getting hit. Steph then smacked the taste out of Angle's mouth as Benoit busted a gut. Angle sold the slap, Benoit responded by popping his head up and letting his face turn ten shades of red while glaring at the owner's daughter. Stephanie said they had been acting like kids and they could settle their differences in the ring, winner gets to keep the "stupid broken trophy."

Commercial: Don't smoke pot and play with guns.

3rd Quarter Hour

(2) Jamie Noble defeated Tajiri with a roll up for the three count. Noble came to the ring dressed as Elvis. He grabbed the mic, promising the "greatest Elvis impersonation" you've ever seen in your life. Noble, in his normal voice proceeded to say "thank ya' very much" and asked "Pricilla" for one of those "platinums." Tajiri interrupted by running in and hitting Noble with a handspring elbow and a series of kicks. Tajiri grabbed the Elvis glasses Noble had and started whirling his arms and wiggling his hips. Tajiri went for a back drop, but Noble hit him with a boot. Tajiri then hung him in the corner with the tree of woe and nailed him with a baseball slide dropkick. Noble reversed an Irish whip into a corner and charged Tajiri, but Tajiri caught him in the Tarantula. Tajiri then went outside and Nidia nailed him in the ankle. It didn't take Noble long to go after the leg, ramming his knee into the mat. He went for a ankle breaker, but Tajiri reversed it into a sunset flip for two. Noble managed to block one kick, but missed the second. Noble tried setting him up for the Tiger Bomb, but no dice. Tajiri managed to get a roll up for two. Noble then rolled Tajiri up and grabbed Nidia's hands on the outside to score the pin. Back to the booth, and Tazz is wearing Noble's Elvis hair. He's proclaiming Elvis as a native of Brooklyn.

Dawn Marie is hitting a 9.5 on the drool scale tonight. She's backstage looking for Torrie Wilson.

(Well, the ratings won't be high tonight. Chief Moose just confirmed the Bushmaster .223 they found matched the ballistics from the shootings. On top of that, there is a lesbian episode of Dismissed on MTV right now.)

Dawn Marie is talking to Torrie Wilson backstage. Dawn is going to "break things off" next time she sees old Al Wilson. Torrie doesn't seem to care.

Meanwhile!!!!! (cue Bat-cut-in-between-scenes-thingie) The Guerreros are talking to Angle backstage and ruffling his feathers about Benoit.

4th Quarter Hour

(3) Edge & Rey Misterio defeated Eddie & Chavo Guerrero when Edge pinned Chavo, following a Misterio springboard leg drop, in a match for the #1 contender spot. Chavo and Edge started things off. Edge was all over Chavo at the start and got a two count before tagging in Chavo. Rey whipped Edge into a spear on Chavo in the corner and Edge whipped Rey into a bronco buster on Chavo. Chavo made the tag to Eddie and the Guerrero's tried a double team, but Rey countered to a head scissors take over. Edge came in with one of his own. Rey went for a plancha but the Guerrero's caught him. Edge tried a baseball slide on Rey to knock them over, but Chavo and Eddie picked him up and then used Rey to clothesline Eddie. Back in the ring, the Guerrero's had the advantage. Chavo stomped Rey in the corner and drew the ire of the ref, allowing Eddie to choke Rey with the tag rope. God, that felt weird to actually type that, "tag rope." Eddie in, and he nailed Edge to cut off a hot tag and then hit a pumphandle backbreaker for a two count. Rey reversed an arm whip and hit Eddie with a back drop. Eddie got knocked down when he wandered too close to the face corner. Eddie recovered to give Rey a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker off the ropes, with some awesome rotation, and made the tag. Rey managed to knock down Chavo and nailed Eddie to make the hot tag. Edge nailed Eddie with a dropkick and hit the drop down chinlock on Chavo for two. Rey then body dropped Eddie over the rope and tried the 619 on Chavo. Eddie blocked the move and Edge speared Chavo for two, as Eddie ran in to break it up. Rey springboarded and used his legs to flip Eddie out of the ring. He then nailed Chavo with the 619. Edge and Eddie nailed Chavo with a combination modified Thesz press off of Edge's shoulders. Edge had Chavo for the pin, but Eddie nailed him with the slingshot senton. Chavo made the cover and Eddie turned around on the apron to jaw with the crowd, and Rey nailed Eddie with a springboard leg drop to allow Edge to pin Chavo behind Eddie's back.

Meanwhile, 'Taker is on his way to the ring.

5th Quarter Hour

We are greeted with a 'Taker/Brock promo with Heyman narration. Following that, Undertaker came to the ring and gave a promo. He was interrupted by Heyman. Heyman said Lesnar wasn't coming, but he did anyway. Lesnar stood in the ring as Undertaker talked. 'Taker said everyone he had talked to, said he would have beaten him if his hand wasn't broke. 'Taker said his broken hand wasn't an excuse, he knew what he was getting into, and Lesnar just had his number. "Five years ago, things might have been a little different," said 'Taker, and he would have kicked his ass regardless. Undertaker then said it did end up mattering, and it isn't any excuse. He said the "wrestling purists" would criticize Lesnar for "bringing his personal life" into it, but he can appreciate personal games. 'Taker continued" "That being said, I've seen the best, fought the best and I've beaten the best. Sunday, and I'm man enough to say this to your face, but Sunday you were the best." 'Taker went to walk and Lesnar stopped him and grabbed the mic. Lesnar said he needed and edge, because he was fighting the Undertaker, and it was all supposed to be "about business." Afterwards, Lesnar walked out and headed up the mat.

After Lesnar walked out, 'Taker wanted to get something off his chest but Big Show interrupted him. Show complained about 'Taker saying Lesnar "had his number and was the best." Big Show said Lesnar beat him because he's busted him up over the past two years. Show said he gave him a limp and called him a broken down has been. 'Taker said if he's a "broken down has been," he would rather be that then a "Giant who never was." 'Taker then walked out. Show then got out of the ring and started closing in on 'Taker going up the ramp. Show would act like he wasn't going to do anything every time 'Taker turned around, but 'Taker didn't trust him. Undertaker raised his hands to the crowd as Show went backstage, but Show came back out and attacked him. He then picked him up threw him off the stage onto some equipment boxes. Show walked off, officials tended to him, and Arn Anderson, Slaughter and Stephanie came out.

6th Quarter Hour

Back from the break, and Edge and Misterio are out checking on the 'Taker. The medics were trying to put a neck collar on him, but Stephanie started screaming at them to get him out of there anyway. Undertaker then suddenly started trying to get to his feet. Arn keeps telling him to let them help him up. Arn's acting is absolutely blowing away anything I've seen on WWE TV, period. We go to the break with Undertaker trying to walk backstage on his own.

Dawn Marie saw Al Wilson and had Funaki send him down that way to see "Torrie." Dawn then happened to run into them. Dawn said there was an "age difference and Torrie" between them and Dawn thought it would be best if they just said "good bye." She then said "out of the few men I've been with" (with the added canned crowd reaction) he was the most passionate. Al then gave her a huge lip lock and a big hug. OK.......

7th Quarter Hour

(4) Billy Kidman defeated John Cena by pinfall with a 'rana into a cradle. Cena offered a handshake to start, but Kidman rolled him up for two instead. Kidman then nailed him with an enzuigiri for another two. Cena then bailed. Kidman tried a slingshot plancha, but Cena caught him and rammed him back first into the ring post. Cena then sent Kidman into the corner hard. Cena continued to work on Kidman's back inside the ring, eventually getting a two count. Kidman then caught Cena with a head scissors off the ropes and a series of drop kicks. Cena threw Kidman into the corner, but Kidman caught him with a boot and gave him a back elbow off the middle rope for two. Kidman's back continued to give him troubles. Cena went for a powerbomb, but Kidman reversed it into a 'rana cradle for three while grabbing the ropes. Cena is irate at the ref. Kidman came back in and Cena started ramming his head into the mat. He then threw him over the ropes and onto the floor before sending him into the ring steps.

Backstage, Lloyd interviewed Lesnar. Lesnar wanted to know where Funaki was and said he went way back. He wanted Lloyd let him know he said hi. Lesnar said he'd have an answer for Show, and that he isn't that hard to find. He then added that even Lloyd managed to find him and then called him Sherlock.

The Guerreros find Benoit backstage. Eddie still wanted to be Chris' friend and show him some respect. Chris then said "as for what they told Angle earlier (????? Benoit has outsmarted everyone! He's staked out the production truck!!!), you may be right."

Big Show was wandering around and ran into Heyman.

Commercial: Die anti-smoking commies!!! Die!!!!!

8th Quarter Hour

(5) Chris Benoit defeated Kurt Angle with a small package to score the pinfall after Chavo Guerrero hit Angle in the back with a tag title belt. Cole says he would "never criticize Smackdown G.M. Stephanie McMahon," but maybe she made a bad choice with the trophy deal. Angle hit Benoit with a take down but Benoit got back to his feet. Angle got Benoit down again with an ankle pick. Benoit got back up, another take down by Angle, Benoit got back on his feet again and knocked Angle off with an elbow. In the corner, and Benoit nailed him with a couple brutal chops. Angle then reversed a throw into the ropes into a short-arm clothesline and stomped Benoit in the head before nailing him with a suplex for a two count. Angle hit Benoit with a forearm, but Benoit chopped him back. Angle then stomped him down in the corner. Back suplex by Angle got a two count. Angle then backed Benoit into the corner and hit him with some chops. Arm whip into the other corner and Benoit blocked him with a boot and knocked Angle down to the mat. Off the ropes, Benoit hit him with an Angle, but Angle quickly hit him with a back drop. Against the ropes again, but Benoit reversed and hit his own back drop. Benoit hit two rolling German suplexes on Angle, but Angle reversed the waist lock and hit some of his own for a three count. Angle then got up and started setting up Benoit for the Angle Slam, but Benoit slipped out and hit him with a release German suplex that landed Angle on his face. Benoit went for the head butt and managed to nail Angle, who was all the way across in the other corner. Put it this way, Angle's feet were almost hitting the bottom turnbuckle. Benoit rolled Angle up for two and then went to the Crossface. Benoit blocked Angle from getting to the ropes with his foot and then rolled over on his back to put him back in the middle of the ring. Angle then managed to roll Benoit onto his back for a two count, causing Benoit to release, and then countered that into the ankle lock. Benoit kicked him off and caught him with a small package off the ropes for two. Angle Slam, but Benoit kicked out at two. Angle went back to the ankle lock, but Benoit reversed it into the cross face. Angle then made Benoit roll out of it, but Benoit caught him with a clothesline. Benoit tried going up top, but Angle ran up to the top and hit him with an overhead belly-to-belly for a near three count. The Guerrero's then ran down to the ring. Angle had Benoit wrapped up in a small package, but Chavo ran in and hit him in the back with the tag title belt. He then rolled Benoit over so he could score the three count on Angle. Benoit didn't see the Guerreros until they were making their way out through the crowd. Angle then hit Benoit from behind with the Angle Slam and then further trashed the trophy.

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