TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S IMPACT REPORT 1/7: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of show
Jan 7, 2006 - 10:11:00 PM
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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
January 7, 2006
Taped January 3, 2006 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
- The show began with clips from the 4 Live Kru problems involving Konnan and Bob Armstrong. The opening music video package included clips from the New Year's Eve show involving A.J. Styles, Christopher Daniels, Christian, Jarrett, and AMW. Somewhere in there were shots of Sting's imagery.
- Mike Tenay introduced the show. He said TNA would pay tribute to the man who will "change the face of TNA in 2006." Good to see Samoa Joe is being honored.
1 -- TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON) vs. LEX LOVETT & BUCK QUARTERMAIN
Team 3D hit the ring running and pounded Lovett and Quartermain. Devon ran over Quartermain with a shoulder block after no-selling punches to the head. Ray entered the ring to assist Devon on the 3D on Lovett for the easy win.
Afterwards, Ray took the mic and mentioned their previous tag title victories. The mention of "ECW Tag Titles" drew boos. The mention of "WCW Tag Champions" drew more boos. The mention of "WWE Tag Champions" drew even more boos. Ray said they would win the NWA Tag Titles at Final Resolution to complete their destiny. I thought that was Raven's gimmick. Ray said he would give up all 18 tag title reigns just to hold the NWA Tag Titles.
WINNERS: Team 3D at 1:50. Well, Team 3D effectively put over the Tag Titles. Otherwise, the squash formula is so played out that it isn't effective as a method to get a team over anymore.
- Mike Tenay put over Sting and Christian facing Jarrett and Brown at the PPV. Don West talked about Sting's debut. Jarrett said they would hear complimentary words from TNA wrestlers about Sting.
- Sonjay Dutt put over Sting without really saying anything before commercial.
[Commercial Break featuring Girls Gone Wild. I know Impact is on pretty late, but not this late. Interestingly, the GGW commercial was followed by a commercial for a local church.]
- Shane Douglas was backstage with AMW, Jeff Jarrett, and Team Canada. Jarrett talked about the tribute to Sting, who hasn't even been on television in five years. Jarrett mocked TNA management's desire to put Sting on TV. Ironic. Jarrett said it's TNA's last gasp effort to get the belt off his waist by signing Sting to a one year deal. Ironic. Jarrett rallied the troops by talking about their own tribute to Sting. Eric Young asked if a tribute to Sting would make Sting mad. Jarrett said of course it would. Scott D'Amore and Gail Kim walked into the locker room. D'Amore opened a letter from Jackie Gayda and questioned Jarrett about the contents of the letter. Jarrett said it was nothing to worry about; just a woman being weird. Gail took offense and wanted to know the truth. Jarrett ignored her and rallied the troops.
- Konnan walked to the ring with Apolo and Homicide. Konnan said there's a new gang in town and he's tired of dealing with B.G. James.
2 -- HOMICIDE & APOLO (w/Konnan) vs. THE NATURALS (CHASE STEVENS & ANDY DOUGLAS)
Tenay said Bob Armstrong needs knee surgery after Konnan's attack last week. Homicide and Apolo jumped The Naturals before the bell. After brawling in the ring, Konnan attacked the referee causing the match to be thrown out. A three-on-two beat down ensued until B.G. James and Kip James ran to the ring. They cleared the ring of Konnan's new group. The crowd reaction was mixed throughout the post-match segment.
WINNERS: The Naturals via DQ at 0:27. Not much to this one. Just a continuation of the storyline. Two matches and not even two minutes of wrestling so far.
- Chris Sabin talked about Sting. Sabin said his most memorable moment was Starrcade '97 when Sting beat Hulk Hogan for the WCW Title. Ah yes, the night WCW jumped the shark.
- Jackie Gayda stormed out of Larry Zbyszko's office demanding answers from Zbyszko. Austin Aries, Roderick Strong, and Alex Shelley interrupted. Shelley videotaped the ensuing discussion. Aries, who TNA must have forgotten has been booked as a babyface, demanded respect from Zbyszko. Aries voiced the concerns of TNA's booking of the X Division. Zbyszko answered with the old-timer's response that the X Division guys need to work their way to the top. Aries said they can't work their way to the top when TNA puts Rhino, Christian, et. al in every segment. Aries said the "next generation of wrestlers" aren't even on the PPV. Jerry Lynn interrupted and told GenNext to get ready for their match.
3 -- RON KILLINGS vs. BOBBY ROODE (w/Scott D'Amore)
Killings rolled up Roode in a bridge pin for the quick win.
WINNER: Ron Killings at 0:05.
- Roode took the mic and called Killings a "thug" and a "loner." Roode egged on Killings to start the match again because he wasn't ready.
4 -- RON KILLINGS vs. BOBBY ROODE (w/Scott D'Amore)
Roode got in some early offense before Killings made a quick roll-up for the win.
WINNER: Ron Killings at 0:25.
- Scott D'Amore took the mic and told Killings to get back in the ring for a real match. Roode caught Killings from behind outside of the ring. Roode rolled him back into the ring.
5 -- RON KILLINGS vs. BOBBY ROODE (w/Scott D'Amore)
Roode went on the quick offensive attack. Roode missed with a clothesline and Killings delivered a spinning fist to the face. Killings scored with a series of clotheslines then followed up with a powerslam. Killings made a cover for a nearfall. D'Amore tried to enter the ring with his hockey stick, but Killings kicked him in the gut. The distraction allowed Roode to catch Killings from behind with a left arm lariat. Roode made the pin for the win.
WINNER: Bobby Roode at 1:39. Well, that was rather pointless. Why didn't Killings demand a re-match after losing the third match? Since wrestlers can now demand re-matches after losing, A.J. Styles should have demanded a re-match with Samoa Joe after losing the X Division Title last month.
- A.J. Styles had to put over Sting. Styles said the coolest thing Sting did was retire. No wait, he said go from the old school Sting to the crow Sting.
[Commercial Break featuring more Girls Gone Wild.]
- Shane Douglas was backstage with Samoa Joe. Thank goodness for Joe on the show. Joe initially ignored Douglas's predictable line of questioning about Christopher Daniels. Douglas said he didn't need to take that from Joe in the New Year. Joe pulled Douglas's arm towards him then talked about Daniels. Joe said he was bringing a new towel with him to the PPV in order to paint a fresh picture with Daniels's blood. Great line. Joe said he crippled Daniels and put him in the hospital two months ago to where Daniels couldn't hold his newborn baby. Excellent application of real-life to storyline. Joe spoke with clarity and conviction and sold his match against Daniels very well. Douglas asked Joe about Sting. Joe smirked at Douglas and walked away.
- Introductions for the X Division six-man tag match took place.
6 -- AUSTIN ARIES & RODERICK STRONG & ALEX SHELLEY vs. A.J. STYLES & CHRIS SABIN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS
Sabin flipped out of an early wristlock by Shelley. Sabin snapped off a head scissors after a series of reversals. Shelley blocked a corner charge and delivered a top rope huricanrana. Shelley grabbed Sabin's crotch ala Ric Flair on Carlito then tagged in Strong. Strong ripped off a series of chops. Styles and Daniels entered the ring and double-teamed Strong. Styles delivered the patented dropsault on Strong before GenNext tripped up Styles from the apron. Shelley entered the ring and went to work on Styles. Shelley wrapped his legs around the back of Styles's head and pounded Styles's face into the mat. Strong tagged in and delivered a butterfly suplex. Styles fought out of his corner before Shelley dropped Styles on the mat. Shelley catapulted Styles up in the air and Strong kicked Styles in the face. GenNext triple-teamed Styles in the corner. Styles came back with a soccer kick out of nowhere. Daniels took the hot tag and cleaned house. Daniels hit a combination facebuster and reverse DDT on Shelley and Aries. Strong delivered a hot dropkick to Daniels square in the chest. The traditional everyone-flies-out-of-the-ring spot took place at 6:00. The hot crowd cheered Styles as he punched Aries outside of the ring. Back in the ring, Strong delivered a gut buster on Sabin after slipping out of the Cradle Shock. Shelley picked up Sabin and hit a reverse DDT for the win.
WINNERS: Aries & Strong & Shelley at 6:58. Very hot multiple-person tag match. The action was non-stop and never dull. Given the fact that TNA only gave the match seven minutes, it's understandable the wrestlers went 150 MPH in the ring to get everything in when 100 MPH would have worked. TNA has done a nice job establishing the X Division on this show, especially TNA's version of Generation Next.
- Christian paid tribute to Sting.
[Commercial Break featuring more Girls Gone Wild. Is Dixie seeing this?]
- We came back to see Jeff Jarrett's bright orange t-shirt. He looked like a Popsicle. Jarrett was greeted by chants of "boring" one second into his promo. Jarrett asked the crowd if they wanted to see Sting. The "boring" chants continued. Jarrett said he's been watching half-wit amateurs pay tribute to Sting. Jarrett said the fans are "Stinger marks." Way to patronize the audience. Jarrett said he knows Sting the best. Jarrett introduced David Young as the early Sting. Jarrett said Ric Flair put Sting on the map at the Clash of the Champions in 1988 when they went to a 45-minute draw. We went to 1996 where Chris Harris came out as the Crow Sting. Someone in a chicken suit came out behind Harris. I suppose TNA couldn't afford the San Diego Chicken. Jarrett said Sting has been in hiding and no one knows what he looks like today. Jarrett introduced Monty Brown, who was the representative of Sting today. Brown came out with a stroller. Brown was dressed in a polo t-shirt and visor. Jarrett said Sting watches Lifetime now. The fans chanted, "Choke the chicken." Brown took the mic and rambled as if he was Sting. Brown actually sounded like Sting. Thank goodness they edited this thing down, although it would have been fun to hear the anti-Jarrett chants.
Christian Cage's music hit. Christian stood on the stage and said he good and bad news. Christian said, "You guys are embarrassing yourselves and you look like a bunch of jack-offs." Brown said, "This is entertainment." Christian added, "I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance." Did Cena teach him that one? Christian introduced Team 3D. A brawl ensued in the ring while the chicken ran wildly around the ring. Team 3D opted not to choke the chicken, but rather toss it over the ropes to the outside. Abyss entered the ring and cleaned out the babyfaces. Rhino hit the ring and attacked Abyss. Rhino delivered the Gore. So much for paying to see Rhino get his victory back over Abyss at the PPV. Tenay signed off.
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