TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S IMPACT REPORT 2/4: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of show
Feb 4, 2006 - 10:20:00 PM
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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
February 4, 2006
Taped January 31, 2006 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
- We opened with Team 3D in the ring. Brother Ray screamed. Devon looked around flexing. Ray said this is TNA Wrestling. Ray said the votes are in and they will face Team Canada at Against All Odds because the fans hate Team Canada just a little bit more than AMW. Ray did a "USA" chant. Devon took the mic and told Canada to strap up their boots tight.
- We saw clips from Sting's return at Final Resolution before last week's retirement promo. "Is this the end of the road?" asked the voice over man. Last week, Christian said he would win the NWA Title at Against All Odds. Hm...sounds like a set up.
- The usual TNA intro aired and Mike Tenay said we would see footage from the Christian-Jarrett press conference.
1 -- RHINO vs. KENNY KING
Well, so much for following up on last week's big wall crashing angle with Rhino and Abyss selling potential injuries after the big spot. Rhino charged to the ring like nothing every happened in real-time last week. Tenay said Abyss-Rhino has been signed for Falls Count Anywhere at the PPV. That takes care of that silly problem of rules. Rhino went to work the first minute and a half. King landed a weak bicycle kick to the shoulder. Rhino hit a spinebuster then the gore for the win.
WINNER: Rhino at 2:14. Poor Kenny King with another squash match loss.
- Terry Taylor was backstage with Larry Zbyszko. Zbysko said a normal man couldn't handle his job. He called Sting the biggest star in wrestling. Z. hyped the Jarrett-Christian match and said their press conference got out of control. Austin "On Point" Aries interrupted with Roderick Strong. As promised, he had a new look that looked like a scene out of a Dan Aykroyd skit on SNL. Zbyszko wasn't impressed by the new look. The Naturals interrupted and asked what Aries and Strong had done in TNA. Zbyszko threw out the line about wrestling 5,000 matches in his boots before having any rights in wrestling. He announced a tag tournament for the next two weeks with the winning team facing AMW for the straps at the PPV. He said he needed to call Dr. Phil.
2 -- A.J. STYLES vs. JAY LETHAL
Don West said he has been dreaming of Joe-Styles-Daniels in a re-match since their match several months ago. Styles hit the dropsault at 0:23. Definitely won't be a 20-30 minute ROH style match. Lethal went for a suplex from the apron to the floor, but Styles countered with a front face suplex on the apron. Samoa Joe walked to the ramp to watch. Styles went for the Clash at 1:15, but he took too long staring down Joe. Lethal slipped out and dropped Styles to the mat. Lethal hit a standing drop kick. Styles went for a pin attempt, but Lethal rolled through into a bridge pin for a nearfall. Styles came back with a double underhook into the Clash. He stared down Joe before rolling Lethal over for the pin. Afterwards, Joe and Styles stared each other down. Joe had a clean towel for A.J. and a bloody towel for Daniels. Nice touch.
WINNER: A.J. Styles at 2:27. Too short to amount to anything.
- Terry Taylor was backstage with Team Canada. D'Amore said it's great to be Canadian. D'Amore said Bobby Roode and Petey Williams would take out Team 3D at the PPV. Gail Kim interrupted. She was more subtle than Jackie in her franticness, which is definitely a good thing. She said D'Amore, Jarrett, Team Canada, and Raven were mentioned on the tape. Yup, there's a reason why Raven and Jackie were shown together - in passing - on the PPV before Raven was booted out by Zbyszko. Gail said they would all lose their jobs if Jackie gets the tape to Zbyszko. Petey had this great look of "holy crap, this is great stuff" on his face. Petey reminded D'Amore they have a match. D'Amore said they won't have any more matches if he doesn't take care of the situation.
- The brackets for the tag tournament: Team Canada-Sabin & Dutt and GenNext-Naturals.
3 -- TEAM CANADA (PETEY WILLIAMS & A-1 RALPHZ) vs. CHRIS SABIN & SONJAY DUTT
Don West said he's intrigued by the Jackie-the world situation. Dutt snapped off a series of arm drags on Petey early on. Dutt went for the water sprinkler on the top rope at 0:33. Petey begged off and suckered Dutt into the corner. A-1 tagged in and stomped on Dutt. A-1 ran over Dutt with a hard clothesline after Petey tripped Dutt from outside the ring. Petey went for the tree of woe foot stomp to the crotch on Dutt. A-1 and Petey exchanged tags before A-1 snapped off a suplex. Dutt fought out of the corner then tagged in Sabin. Petey took a springboard drop kick. Sabin snapped off a Tornado DDT from the top rope on Petey. A-1 took the legs out from under Sabin as he went for the Cradle Shock. Petey went for the Destroyer on Sabin, but he slipped out. Sabin hit a side kick to the head then hit the Cradle Shock for the win.
WINNERS: Chris Sabin & Sonjay Dutt at 4:49. Formula match. If you've seen one, you've seen them all.
- Footage from TNA's recent trip to Australia aired.
[Commercial Break for Morphoplex. It's not available in stores.]
- Terry Taylor approached A.J. Styles backstage in his locker room. Christopher Daniels interrupted. Styles tried to calm Daniels down. Daniels said he had to show him how he feels about him. Daniels said he doesn't need anyone's help. Styles grabbed Daniels and threw him into a locker. Security intervened as Terry Taylor nearly blew his red roof.
4 -- LATIN AMERICAN EXCHANGE (KONNAN APOLO & HOMICIDE) vs. ROD STEELE & BRUCE STEEL & FRANK CAPONE
Homicide dominated early on before tagging out to Konnan. Apolo put one of them on his shoulders and Homicide hit a top rope bulldog. Konnan made the cover for the win. Afterwards, B.G. and Kip James stormed the ring to chase off LAX.
WINNERS: LAX at 1:35. Well, no shoes were thrown in this one.
- Mike Tenay and Don West discussed Sting's retirement announcement. West said athletes want to leave on their own terms on top of their sport. Tenay introduced the press conference from earlier today.
- Mike Tenay introduced the Jarrett-Christian match as Dory Funk Jr. sat to the right of the podium. Dory said Jarrett occupies the most coveted possession in wrestling. He said Christian has the ability to take the belt away from Jarrett. Christian said TNA is the greatest wrestling organization in the world with the biggest prize in the business. Jarrett said Kevin Nash, DDP, and Rhino are on his victims list. Jarrett said TNA management couldn't get Hulk Hogan in TNA or else he would have put him on his list. Jarrett said he put Sting out of TNA. Jarrett said Sting is a quitter. Someone asked about Jackie Gayda. Jarrett said he had no comment. Monty Brown interrupted and said he could have signed Jarrett's Mickey Mouse contract, but he decided not to. He told Jarrett to get ready for competition after beating Christian. Jarrett said he would put Christian back to the mid-card. Naturally, the press conference broke down like a Mike Tyson weigh-in.
5 -- AUSTIN ARIES & RODERICK STRONG (w/Alex Shelley) vs. THE NATURALS (Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens)
Before the match began, Scott D'Amore and Gail Kim came to the ringside area to discuss business with Shelley. They said they needed his help with the video camera. Shelley told Aries and Strong not to worry about anything. Shelley walked off with D'Amore and Kim.
Aries's new outfit consists of Warrior-like elbow tassles and Monty Brown-like jungle trunks. Stevens snapped off an arm drag into an arm bar on Aries early on. Strong tagged in and took arm drags. The Naturals teamed up for an atomic drop and neck breaker combination. Strong ate Stevens's knee with help from Douglas. They cleared Strong from the ring. Douglas hit a somersault splash on Aries and Strong on the outside. Back in the ring, Strong dropped Douglas with a front slam. Aries and Strong exchanged tags working over Douglas in their corner. Strong landed a trademark stiff chop to the chest. Aries tagged in and delivered a pendulum elbow drop. Aries missed with a top rope leg drop and Stevens took the hot tag. The Naturals stacked up Aries and Strong in the corner. They threw Strong through the ropes to the outside. The Naturals set up Aries for the Natural Disaster, but Strong pulled Douglas out of the ring to the outside. Aries rolled up Stevens and used the ropes for extra leverage to score the pin.
WINNERS: Aries & Strong at 5:45. Same formula as the previous tag match.
- Terry Taylor was backstage with Jeff Jarrett, Team Canada, AMW, Gail Kim, and Alex Shelley. Jarrett told Shelley to dig up dirt on Jackie Gayda. He gave him her phone number and told him to watch her as she goes to the club, grocery store, or anywhere else. (Isn't that considered stalking and/or invasion of privacy?) Jarrett told Shelley not to come back unless he gets the job done. Jarrett asked D'Amore if the plan would work. D'Amore chose his words carefully then said his idea is better than Jarrett's ideas. Everyone walked off except for Eric Young. He broke the fourth wall and stared into the camera saying that Sting isn't gone and he can feel that he's still around. This worked as a terrific cliffhanger based on Eric's character. Is he saying this because he has a screw loose upstairs and no one can take him seriously or does he know something that no one else knows and viewers have to take his claim seriously? Good ten-second close to the show.
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