WWE Smackdown review
Taped Dec. 22nd, 2002
Aired Dec. 26th, 2002
From Tulsa, Okla.

My brother, being an even bigger smart-ass then me, decided to have some fun with his Christmas list this year. You see, Mom usually hangs them up on the fridge for some reason, and my bro decided to draw a picture of a hand giving the middle finger (complete with a Santa cap on top of the middle digit) for his Christmas list, for anyone who happened to venture into the kitchen to see. For Christmas, he had only one box under the tree. This is what was in it. Can't say Mom didn't give him everything he wanted. 

We got the recap of Paul "Russo" Heyman picking Angle up as his new client last week.

1st Quarter Hour

Stephanie came to the ring to let the crowd know that there would be no Angle/Lesnar match tonight. Apparently, Lesnar destroyed Angle last week off the air so he isn't able to compete. But fear not, Stephanie will air the footage later tonight if she can see the buttons on the tape machine over the Titan Towers. Big Show then came to the ring to talk with Stephanie by himself, since Heyman hasn't made it to the arena yet. Steph is mad he interrupted, Show then got up in her face as a result. He's mad that he hasn't been named number one contender. Steph threatened to suspend him if he didn't back off and announced he would have to wrestle Benoit tonight to be number one contender. Show called him a toothless wonder and made fun of his height, which brought out Benoit as Steph smiled. Benoit then got up in his face with the mic and told him that he hasn't forgot about the chokeslam last week and that the only thing stopping him from breaking his neck right now is their match. Show countered with "I'm a Giant, and obviously, you're not." Show said the only way he can beat him is Benoit taking him down to his size, so Benoit kicked him in the crotch to a big pop. Steph was grinning from ear to ear. Hey, I dig, "Hiding the fact that I'm intimidated but can muster up enough courage to deal with the big wrestlers Stephanie" over, "I'm a screen hogging super-skank" Stephanie.

Commercial: thetruth.net, which should have received my box full of Camel points in time for Christmas.

2nd Quarter Hour

1(1) Bill Demott defeated Crash Holly with a Moonsault for the pinfall (Clean). Crash tried dragging Bill out of the ring, but no dice, as Demott blocked him and then threw him into the ring post. Back inside, and Demott went to work on Crash's arm, working it with an arm bar. Crash fired back with some blows and an enzuigiri, but Demott ducked and hit Crash with a clothesline. Demott gave Crash a power bomb, setting him up for the moonsault and the pin. If they want to push Demott, it has to be done better then with prodding squashes without any selling.

Dawn and Al are backstage. Al then presented Dawn with some Viagra. I can't believe it took them two months to work that one into the storylines, I guess I'll give them credit for that. Dawn gave him a video camera, where she planned on filming the entire honeymoon. Gee, one guess who will end up having to watch the tape? Dawn then laid a big and wet one on Al. Afterwards, they put up a graphic promoting the wedding for next week.

3rd Quarter Hour

Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore greeted us in the ring. Moore was limping quite noticeably. He showed footage of Moore's monster bump against Lesnar last week, as well as the F 5 he took last week. Hardy said that Brock Lesnar must be stopped and that he is challenging him one-on-one next week. He told Brock to bring everything that he has, and then attacked Shannon Moore, kicking him in his injured hip. Two officials ran in to put a stop to it. Hardy is really trying to channel Jericho circa '98.

4th Quarter Hour

(2) The Guerreros defeated Edge & Billy Kidman when Chavo pinned Kidman after an Eddie Frog Splash. (Albert attacked Edge at the end to keep Kidman from tagging. There was also numerous cases of Cheat to Win by the Guerreros) Chavo got the jump on Kidman with a hammer lock, but Kidman countered to a waist lock. Chavo pushed off, but got hip tossed. Kidman then used Chavo as a springboard to dropkick Eddie, who came into interfere and slowed things down with an arm drag into an arm bar on Chavo. The heels finally took advantage when Eddie gave Kidman a knee on the apron, distracting him long enough for Chavo to jump him and to toss him outside so Eddie could do some Cheating to Win. Chavo and Eddie landed a sweet back breaker/slingshot senton combo on Kidman, but Kidman fired back quick with an enzuigiri and tagged Edge, who went to work on the heels. Face plant for Eddie, and Edge went up top, but Chavo blocked him. Chavo couldn't get him up for a superplex, so Edge pushed him off and gave a missile dropkick to both Guerreros at the same time. Edge hit Chavo with a flap jack, but Eddie took his knee out with a low dropkick, from behind, and locked on the Lasso from El Paso. Kidman gave Eddie a bulldog out of it and went outside with Chavo. Edge then hit Eddie with a hot shot off of his shoulders and hit the spear for a two count when Chavo broke it up. Chavo and Eddie grabbed their belts and started to head towards the back. Brian Hebner was pissed, and made Roberts announce that if they didn't get back in the ring by 10, they would lose the match and the titles. Eddie tried crawling backstage as Chavo tried stopping him. They then went to a break.

Back from the break, and Cole told us that the Guerrero's barely made it back in the ring in time as Edge missed a spear in the corner, allowing Eddie to tag to Chavo. Chavo worked Edge over, using the ropes and a European upper cut. Edge made a comeback when he hit his drop down chin lock on Chavo. Eddie cut off the hot tag and the Guerrero's tried a double team, but Edge caught the most unrealistic move I've ever seen, a double flapjack. Edge finally tagged Kidman, who hit his fireman's carry into a backbreaker, but Eddie caught Kidman with a brainbuster. Eddie went for the Frog Splash, but Kidman moved. Edge and Eddie ended up outside as Kidman hit a standing spinebuster on Chavo, setting him up for the Shooting Star Press. Eddie then grabbed the ref's leg, pulling him out of the ring. Hebner called for the bell, then had Roberts announce that there would be a restart with a No DQ rule. The faces knocked the Guerrero's off the apron as they rang the bell again. Kidman turned an arm whip by Chavo into a baseball slide on Eddie. Another standing spinebuster on Chavo, and Kidman went up top, but Eddie tossed him off onto the floor. Edge ducked a belt shot from Chavo and hit him with it, then went outside to bring in Kidman for the cover (he is the legal man), but Eddie managed to break up the three count. Edge tossed Eddie again and went back to the apron to call for the tag. Albert then ran in and hit his older the shoulder back breaker on Edge as Kidman tried to make the tag. Chavo grabbed Kidman's leg as Eddie nailed Kidman with a Frog Splash. Kidman rules ass over Edge, and on top of that, this match was so good that it made me forget that Albert was feuding with Edge.

5th Quarter Hour

They showed the footage of Angle and Lesnar from last week with a big 10:01 graphic on the bottom of the screen. The crowd chanted "Brock" as Angle stomped away on Lesnar. Heyman and Show looked on, until Show finally got in with a little stomping of his own. Angle kept making Show back off. Heyman yelled "I hate you" about a thousand times at Lesnar on the apron. Lesnar suddenly came to life and attacked Show and Angle and the crowd about had a heart attack. Heyman bailed and Lesnar went to work on Angle, choking him with a boot as Show tried to come in with a chair. Lesnar crotched him with the top rope and nailed him with his own chair. Angle was dazed outside the ring, where Lesnar caught up with him and spun him off his shoulder, sending him knee-first into the ring post. Angle had to be bleeped several times as he writhed and grabbed his knee. The crowd chanted, "One more time," as Lesnar stood over him. Lesnar then walked back up the ramp towards Heyman. Two officials came over to attend to Angle. They called out for the medics. Lesnar then chased them all off and dragged Angle back over to the middle of the floor before picking him up and giving him a knee breaker on the guard rail as the refs tried to beg Brock off. Brock finally walked off as the medics went back over to attend to Angle again and Brock's music played. Now that, my friends, is how you do an injury angle.

6th Quarter Hour

Back from the break, and Heyman is in the ring. Heyman blamed Steph for Angle's injury, since she made them reveal the truth about their relationship last week. Heyman then called out everyone's true inspiration, who hobbled to the ring with a leg brace and crutches and "you suck" chants. Angle told Lesnar that he only one the NCAA title and a WWE title the first year he was in the business because of Heyman. Angle then said he did all of that on his own and was an Olympic gold medalist, something Lesnar could never do. Angle called the fans jealous, just like Brock. He said that's why Brock attacked him. Angle then said, "You know that you could never be the Champion that I am. That's why you tore every cartilage and ligament in my knee! And right before Christmas!" Angle said he would defend against Benoit or Big Show, and would never defend against Brock. He said if he ever attacked him again, he would take him down like the pup that he is, knee injury and all. Heyman then said he had a contingency plan and then brought out "Team Angle," Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, the "greatest contingency plan of them all." Heyman introduced Haas and Benjamin. Angle raised both guys arms to the crowd to end the segment.

On the break, I flipped over to Multiplex and No Holds Barred is on. Coincidence?!?!?!?!?!?!

Funaki is backstage by the women's locker room, which reminds me that I didn't get that "Torch #1 Writer" t-shirt I wanted. Apparently, he has an interview set up for later in the show.

(3) Rikishi defeated B2 with the Ass of Doom splash for the pinfall. (Clean) Cena did his usual rap before the match. B2 tried to jump Rikishi on the outside, but Rikishi didn't have any of it. B2 fell into position for an early stinkface, but Cena left the announcers booth to pull him out of the ring. Buchanan then sent Rikishi into the ring steps. B2 gave Rikishi a springboard clothesline for a two count. Cena is rhyming as he announces. Rikishi sent B2 over the ropes. Cena tried to grab a chair and throw it in the ring, but the ref grabbed it. Cena managed to send his chain in behind the refs back. Rikishi caught B2 with a superkick before he could connect and landed the Ass of Doom for the three count.

7th Quarter Hour

Funaki interviewed Torrie backstage. Torrie said she didn't know if she would be at the wedding next week. Al interrupted the interview and basically told her she was selfish and asked Torrie if she ever cared about what he wanted. Al said Dawn and himself are going to have a kid and said that he hopes it isn't a disgrace and a disappointment like her. Torrie stood there flabbergasted. Torrie and Dawn may be the two people in the company that wished they were on Raw instead of Smackdown.

The Guerreros ran into B2 and Cena backstage. Eddie and Chavo spoke Spanish. Chavo blasted them, saying they worked for everything they got. Chavo didn't want to turn this into an East Coast/West Coast thing. Eddie and Chavo then went into a mock Northeasterner accent.

Benoit cut a promo talking about his desire to win the WWE title and how he took Big Show down to size. Benoit said if there is one thing he believes in, it's that he's better then Kurt Angle.

Angle gave Big Show a pep talk backstage. Angle said it would be an honor to face a real champ and a real giant.

8th Quarter Hour

(4) Chris Benoit defeated Big Show with a roll up to score the three count and #1 Contendership. (Clean). Benoit jumped Big Show the moment he got into the ring, but Show pushed him off. Benoit hit Show with a couple chops, but they showed no effect. Show then hammered Benoit in the corner and then slapped him on the chest, followed by a big hip toss and a kick. Cole mentioned that Show's foot was a 22 EEEEE. Benoit went for a quick arm bar, but Show picked Benoit up into the corner and sat him on the ropes and then gave him a military press and dropped him on his face. Show talked some trash to Benoit as Heyman watched on. Show followed that up with a couple kicks to the gut. Show then stood on Benoit's stomach in the corner. Show continued to slowly work Benoit's midsection. Benoit fired back with some kicks and a chop. Show tried a right hand and Benoit tried to get him down for the CCF, but no luck as Show turned it into a side slam for a two count. Show continued to work Benoit's ribs in the corner. Show sent Benoit into the corner, but Benoit did a baseball slide out of the ring. Benoit walked around the outside favoring his ribs. Show followed and got baited back into the ring, where Benoit stomped him and took him down on his knees. Benoit then German suplexed Big Show, which Benoit followed up by signaling for the head butt. Benoit got a two count with the head butt, but Show pressed Benoit off of him to break it up. Show then missed a charge into the corner, straight into an exposed turnbuckle. Benoit then countered a Big Show chokeslam into a Peterson roll for the three count. The crowd popped big. Show then tried to Chokeslam Benoit again, but Benoit countered into the CCF. Show tapped like crazy until Team Angle ran out and gave Benoit a combination German suplex/superkick and a power bomb/missile drop kick. Haas locked on the Haas of Pain on Benoit as Benjamin stomped away. Show then gave Benoit a chokeslam. Shelton and Charlie dragged Benoit towards the back as Angle came out on his crutches and talked trash to Benoit as Benjamin and Haas held him back. Angle then choked Benoit with his crutch as the show came to an end.

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