By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
August 2, 2007
Taped July 30 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

They open with a backstage clip of Samoa Joe walking with a Hard Justice PPV t-shirt on.

They went to a recap of last week's show. Angle therapy. Abyss blood. Another beating on Sting and Abyss.

Backstage, Jim Cornette was meeting with Christian's group to figure out who was under the ring last week to pull Abyss under the ring. Christian wouldn't budge on whether he knew anything about it. Cornette grew frustrated and booked a contract on a pole match. The match would be Sting & Abyss vs. Christian & A.J. Styles. If Abyss pulls down the contract, then he picks the rules for a match against Christian at Hard Justice. If Christian pulls down the contract, he doesn't have to face Abyss. Cornette locked them out of his office, then Kurt Angle walked through in a suit. He told his daughter, who was in a cheerleader outfit, to hurry up with his suitcase. Angle's wife followed them while holding all of Angle's title belts.

1 -- TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON) vs. ERIC YOUNG & CHRIS HARRIS

Don West said Eric Young has gained confidence by his constant humiliation of Robert Roode. Only in TNA can someone pants another individual and gain confidence as a wrestler. Team 3D jumped Harris to start things off, then Harris came back with a left-arm clothesline and high vertical suplex on Devon. Young took a tag, then Ray came in for 3D and jumped into an arm drag before accepting a dropkick. Ray caught Young from behind with a clothesline, then he pulled his pants up before going on the attack. Young came back with a dropkick, then he tried to tag Harris, but Dustin Rhodes pulled Harris off the apron. A brawl ensued on the floor, then back in the ring, Young rolled up Ray for a close nearfall. Team 3D took over with it down to two-on-one. They executed - and I use that term loosely - a spike piledriver for the win. Not pretty. After the match, Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks walked to the ring while Team 3D played to the crowd.

WINNERS: Team 3D in 4:00. Just a tag match. There was no psychology in the ring, as Team 3D was simply doing what heels teams are supposed to do in a step 1, step 2, step 3 manner, but almost making a mockery of the heel beat down process before the babyface hot tag. (1/2*)

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Roode was putting a beating on Eric Young on the floor. Roode screamed at Young that no one embarrasses Robert Roode. He poured tar on Young's chest, then Roode busted open a pillow and spread the feathers across Young's body. Young tried to roll out of the mess, but Roode pulled Young up to the camera so everyone could get a good look.

[Q2]

Backstage, Jeremy Borash did his Scheme Gene promo for the text messaging service. He then interviewed Samoa Joe about his training last week. Joe said training doesn't even begin to explain what he put his body through last week. He said he's bringing a war to Kurt Angle, even if he has to go through Angle's family to get to Angle.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Borash ran down Kurt Angle, his wife, and daughter at catering. Angle asked his wife if she wanted a cup of coffee, and she said yes, so he told her to go get it herself. Her daughter asked for a candy bar, then Angle asked if she wants to look fat like Samoa Joe or have thunder thighs like mommy. Angle said it's time to get it out in the open. He told his wife that she has more rolls than a bakery, so it's time to look the part of Kurt Angle's wife. Ringside, Tenay put on his sour face as West talked about the crap that Angle is putting his wife through.

They made the Bound for Glory announcement for Atlanta in October.

Triple X came to the ring for a four-man tag match. The Guru then came out and Don West said you could see the radiation on Sonjay Dutt's face. Well, time to evacuate the building in that case. Jay Lethal followed out.

2 -- TRIPLE X (SENSHI & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS w/Elix Skipper) vs. THE GURU SONJAY DUTT & BLACK MACHISMO JAY LETHAL

Dutt and Lethal hit a dual splash on the floor to start things off. Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin came to ringside as Mike Tenay spoke vaguely about TNA making national headlines. But, wait, sign up for the text messaging service to find out more! In the ring, Triple X worked on Lethal, who took a leaping kick to the face from Senshi. Tenay said they would address the title situation in TNA after the Hard Justice PPV when the Angle vs. Joe match decides the owner of all the belts. Daniels missed with a dropkick, then Lethal tagged out to the Guru, who hit a springboard dive on Daniels for a nearfall. The action broke down and Skipper interfered against Lethal behind the ref's back. Senshi then came off the top with the double foot stomp on Guru, followed by the Best Moonsault Ever from Daniels for the win.

WINNERS: Triple X in 5:00. They're effectively building up Triple X, and they've invested zero time in Guru lately, so it makes sense to continue pushing him down the X Division ladder. (*1/4)

They quickly cut to a promo from Abyss and Sting backstage. Sting said it's time to play with weapons in their tag match. He said they might have a surprise for Christian and Styles tonight. Abyss then talked about there being no more tricks, no more surprises, and retribution beginning. Wait, Sting just said there would be a surprise. Now my hopes are dashed.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, the camera found Angle, his wife Karen, Kevin Nash, and Jeremy Borash in a room. Angle wanted Dr. Nash to psychoanalyze his wife. He then accused Karen of checking out Nash's package. Angle tore into her for being fat, a slut, and having makeup like a circus clown. He continued on and on about having cottage cheese and needing liposuction. Nash said he could squeeze her in for an appointment on Monday, but she said she has a doctor's appointment on Monday. Angle left after ripping her for being fat, then Nash said he has a nice little acting career going. He asked if she's seen any of his films. She had enough and walked off after saying wrestlers are all alike. Nash hated to see her go, but enjoyed watching her walk away. Why not take this Angle storyline all the way and have Angle choke her out already?

Christian Cage and A.J. Styles came to the ring, followed by Sting and Abyss. They started fighting on the floor to begin the main event match.

3 -- ABYSS & STING vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE & A.J. STYLES -- ladder match

Abyss ran over the heels in the opening minute as the camera focused on the contract hanging above the ring. Sting and Abyss then ran over the heels with a ladder as they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Sting was trying to climb the ladder, but Christian cut him off and they traded right hand blows on the ladder. Sting then threw Christian off the ladder to the mat below. Sting tried to climb the ladder, but Styles hit a springboard fist smash on Sting to knock him down. They went for the Styles vs. Abyss ladder match-up and Abyss got the best of him with a chokeslam. Tomko then hit the ring and smashed Abyss from behind with a chair shot. Suddenly, Andrew Martin walked to the ring and jumped Tomko. The two generic big white men brawled, then Martin dumped Tomko to the outside. Martin then backed into Abyss and Sting, who stared him down with a questioning look. Martin answered their questions by catching Styles in mid-air and press slamming him over the top rope onto Christian and Tomko. Abyss then climbed the ladder and grabbed the contract to win the match and name his specialty match at Hard Justice.

WINNERS: Sting & Abyss in 9:00. The story of the match was Martin debuting in TNA, while the "wrestling" was secondary to setting up Abyss's revenge opportunity against Christian at the PPV. Other than the obvious of TNA hiring anyone who's ever set foot in WWE to make TNA seem somewhat relevant, I don't feel strongly one way or another on Test debuting until we see how he's used. (*)

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Borash found Sting's group. Martin said the sides are now even. He said he's been sitting at home for a while watching Christian Cage's group running rampant in TNA. Martin said that when you get a chance to work with a legend, Sting, and the future of the business, Abyss, you take the opportunity. Martin said there's a new enforcer in TNA: the Punisher Andrew Martin.

Kurt Angle's music hit, then Angle walked to the ring in a suit with the title belts over his shoulders. Karen then walked out behind Angle. He took the mic and said he is the most misunderstood man in pro wrestling. He said he is a loving and caring father. Angle said he brought his wife out here to explain a few things about him. He said it must be difficult for Karen to live in his shadow. Karen wouldn't talk, then Angle asked if she's deaf. Angle was going to do the explaining, but Samoa Joe walked out and said Kurt Angle is a horse's ass. He stormed the ring as Angle put Karen in front of him. Classic heel tactic. Angle asked Joe if he would hit his wife. Karen then took the mic and stepped in front of Joe. She ripped into Angle and said he's treated his family like dogs for 12 years. Angle ripped the mic away and said no one wants to hear from her. Joe ripped the mic away and said people want to hear what she has to say. Karen then said she's sick of the world titles and especially the Olympic gold medal. She told Angle to shove the medal where the sun doesn't shine. Karen then screamed that as of right now, their marriage is over. She quickly exited, and Angle tried to make nice, but she bailed. Joe then cut off Angle and cut a promo on him. He said he would be taking the belts from Angle at the PPV, and right now, he would take his clothes. Joe jumped Angle and ripped off the Armani suit. Angle finally rolled out of the ring without his suit jacket and dress shirt. Joe played to the crowd to wrap up the show.

They closed with a recap of last week's promo exchange between Team 3D and the Steiners. They followed with video clips promoting the Hard Justice PPV.

We suggest these recent related articles...

PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 10/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Thursday show, including Roman Reigns & Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt & Braun Strowman

METZGER'S ROH TV REPORT 10/4 & 10/7: IWGP World champ Okada vs. Roderick Strong main event, plus Briscoes vs. Time Splitters, more from "Field of Honor," Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/7: TNA Title Series kicks off, Bound for Glory fall-out, more; Overall Reax