WWE Raw "Alternative Perspective" Rundown
January 20, 2003
Live from Providence, Rhode Island
Aired on TNN
Report by Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor

Top Five Items from the Program

(1) Eric Bischoff's "bombshell" turned out to be more talk than action. He promised Stone Cold Steve Austin... at No Way Out. I think someone in WWE ought to look up the definition of "surprise" in the dictionary, since they've been throwing surprises around like confetti lately and failing to deliver on any of them.  

(2) As if the Triple H vs. Steiner match wasn't bad enough last night, Steiner demanded a rematch tonight. Perhaps he should have left well enough alone, since a newly-formed faction consisting of Triple H, Ric Flair, Randy Orton, and Batista teamed up to stomp a mud hole in him.

(3) Stacy Keibler took an errant chair shot from Chris Jericho that sent her to the hospital and gave Test an opportunity to practice his "acting."

(4) William Regal and Lance Storm regained the Tag Titles thanks to the scheming of Chief Morley.

(5) D-Lo Brown is now being managed by a slimmed-down Teddy Long, who launched into a tirade on race relations as they apply to WWE. "Appalling," said J.R. (And in questionable taste, considering today's holiday.)

Review of the Program

Quarter Hour 1

The show started with a tribute to the late Martin Luther King, Jr. "Long live the dream," said Vince McMahon in a voice-over.

Last week, Mister McMahon had given Eric Bischoff 30 days to turn Raw around. Would tonight's "bombshell" be enough to turn things around and keep Shane McMahon from taking over?

Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to Raw, live from the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence, Rhode Island. (Homer Simpson's favorite arena. Mmmmm, donuts.)

Well, we're not off to a good start. Triple H (sporting a shiner and a bandaged forehead) and Ric Flair headed out. The crowd was less than enthusiastic in their reaction, but that didn't stop Triple H. He said he was proud that he'd made Steiner look so bad in front of his freaks. Triple H said there would be no rematch.

No rematch? Scott Steiner's theme hit and he hustled to the ring to defend himself and demand a rematch. Tonight. Triple H pulled out a note from his mommy, err, doctor, that said he couldn't come out and play. How convenient.

J.R. thought it might be a note from his podiatrist.

Ric Flair offered up Batista as a replacement to face Steiner. As Batista made his entrance, Triple H sucker punched Steiner. Steiner knocked Triple H out of the ring on his posterior. Bring him on, seemed to be Steiner's reaction to Batista.

(Commercial break) (You can catch an encore of the 10th Anniversary Show this Saturday at 8:00 ET. It will have categories not shown on the original broadcast, which may or may not be an inducement to tune in.)

Quarter Hour 2

The WWE Rewind was a quick look at the Royal Rumble.

(1) Rob Van Dam pinned Jeff Hardy. Hardy had been eliminated from the Royal Rumble by Rob Van Dam, and Jeff apparently wanted a measure of revenge tonight. Jeff was in a colorful mood, judging from his blue face paint, raccoon eye makeup, and orange hair. Good acrobatic action from these two. Van Dam's Five Star Frog Splash found nobody home. Jeff retaliated with a Jawbreaker and a Swanton for a near fall. The crowd was behind Van Dam, who pinned Jeff with a backslide. Jeff was in a snit about the loss and refused to shake Van Dam's extended hand after the match. When RVD did his thumb gesture, Jeff tossed him out over the ropes and grabbed a chair. The ref talked an angry Jeff out of hitting RVD with the chair.

Backstage, Christian and Christopher Nowinski were griping about being eliminated from the Royal Rumble. Bischoff walked up and taunted them about his bombshell.

(Commercial break)

Randy Orton approached Scott Steiner in a backstage hallway. Steiner grabbed Orton by the collar and threatened to delay Orton's recovery.

Chief Morley was scolding Nick Patrick about his performance as referee during the Tag Team Title Match last night. He popped a tape in the VCR that clearly showed one of the Dudleys hitting Lance Storm with brass knuckles. Patrick was shocked; he hadn't seen the brass knuckles. Morley insisted that Patrick make a public apology.

(Commercial break)

Quarter Hour 3

Chief Morley escorted referee Nick Patrick to the ring. Patrick apologized. "What?" The Chief then asked Patrick to reverse his decision and award the titles to Lance Storm and William Regal. "What?" Nick Patrick refused. "What?" Morley called the Dudley Boyz to the ring.

The Dudleys and their title belts headed out.

The Chief insisted that the Dudleys forfeit the titles immediately. "Are you out of your mind? You're getting nothing," said D-Von. Bubba pointed out that Regal had brought the knucks to the ring in the first place.

Morley ordered the Dudleys to return the titles. They refused. "You're nothing more than a kiss ass, washed-up ex-porn star," Bubba told him. Bubba said they had one regret about last night. The crowd picked up on it right away and began to chant for tables.

Morley tried to grab the titles, but the Dudleys jerked them away and set up a table. As they were about to put the Chief through the table, Regal and Lance Storm ran out and put Bubba through the table instead.

Morley announced that there would be a Tag Team Title match tonight. "Right now," he added.

(2) Tag Team Title Match: William Regal & Lance Storm over The Dudleys to capture the titles. With the Dudleys out cold, Morley told Nick Patrick to start the match. He was reluctant, but finally agreed. Regal immediately covered Bubba for the winning "pin." (This was an extremely tedious segment.)

(Commercial break)

Quarter Hour 4

(3) Trish Stratus & The Hurricane over Victoria & Stevie Richards. Hurricane gave his mask to a little girl at ringside. Awww. Trish started by giving Stevie a kick in the pants, although the match was women vs. women and men vs. men. Then Victoria provoked Hurricane. Trish and Victoria went at it with some spirited action until Stevie interfered. Victoria gave Trish a superkick and got a near fall. As the ref busied himself with Hurricane, Stevie snuck into the ring for some monkey business. Trish pinned Victoria for the win anyway.

In his office, Eric Bischoff was on his cell phone. He wanted to speak with Vince McMahon, but could only reach his secretary. He told her to let Vince know his bombshell announcement was coming up next. Then he picked up a dart and tossed it at a dartboard with a picture of Shane McMahon as the target.

(Commercial break)

Sean O'Haire took on God this week. Whatever. I couldn't get past his hair, which is either extremely dirty or moussed within an inch of its life.

Quarter Hour 5

Eric Bischoff is bad, or so his music says. He sauntered out with a smug look on his face and said he'd received his inspiration from the 10th Anniversary Show. Stone Cold Steve Austin had been awarded the Superstar of the Decade. He was not in attendance because he hadn't been invited. The crowd was getting interested now. "Why hadn't the Rattlesnake been invited to the festivities?" asked Uncle Eric. He said he'd stopped the presses of Raw Magazine and would give Stone Cold an opportunity to explain why he'd walked out on Vince McMahon.

But that wasn't the bombshell, said Bischoff. He rolled a video clip of Stone Cold driving to the ring in a beer wagon and giving everyone a beer bath.

Eric Bischoff publicly invited SC to make his return . . . at No Way Out. "BOOOO," went the crowd, who'd obviously expected Stone Cold tonight. Bischoff invited Austin back home to Raw. (The bombshell was a little short on ammo.)

(Commercial break)

(4) Tag Team Match: Booker T & Goldust over Three Minute Warning (w/Rico). Good back and forth action, and a much better match than it deserved to be thanks to Booker T and Goldust.

Quarter Hour 6

Goldust was isolated and being double-teamed. Booker made the tag and cleaned house until he caught his foot in the top rope. Booker double clotheslined TMW and even gave one of them a spine buster. Jamal came off the top rope with a squash, but nobody was home. Booker T eventually made the winning pin.

(Commercial break)

(5) Test (Stacy Keibler) vs. Chris Jericho was a no contest. Jericho came out in his jammies and said he had a dream, just like Martin Luther King. But his dream had been stolen last night. He demanded retribution from Test and Shawn Michaels. Still bruised from last night, he charged the ring.

Quarter Hour 7

Test dominated the early part of the match, but Jericho turned the tide briefly and rammed Test into the ring post. Jericho went for a steel chair. As he swung the chair at Test, he missed and hit the ring post instead, which, oddly enough, knocked Stacy out cold. She fell to the floor and trainers ran out to tend to her. As the EMTs came out, a loud "Jericho sucks" chant broke out. Test was distraught (and overacting), and a frustrated Jericho was ejected from the ring, still insisting that it wasn't his fault.

(Commercial break)

Stacy was still being tended by medics and Test was still crying crocodile tears. J.R. apologized to the viewers for the incident.

Earlier today, Al Snow and the five Tough Enough 3 finalists had been at The World. Remember, you can vote one of the finalists off the island by visiting www.mtv.com.

Back in Providence, Stacy was being loaded onto a gurney. J.R. sounded very concerned as he sold the injury.

Backstage, Ric Flair was giving Batista a pep talk.

(Commercial break)

Quarter Hour 8

(6) Singapore Cane Match: D-Lo Brown (w/Teddy Long) pinned Tommy Dreamer. D-Lo's slimmed-down spokesperson launched into a tirade on race relations as they apply to WWE. "Appalling," said J.R. correctly. (And in questionable taste, considering today's holiday.) Loud "D-Lo sucks" chant as he battered Tommy with the cane. Tommy made a comeback and went after D-Lo, splintering the cane across his back. Tommy dropped a leg on D-Lo, mocking Brown's own move. A DDT took Brown down, but a Low Down on Tommy resulted in the winning pin for D-Lo. This would have been a good match if it weren't for all the distasteful rhetoric.  

Backstage, Freakzilla was headed to the ring.

(Commercial break)

Promo for the Colossus of Boggo Road, Nathan Jones. G'day, Nathan.

J.R. provided an update on Stacy, who had just arrived at a medical facility.

(7) Scott Steiner vs. Batista (w/Ric Flair) was a no contest. This started out as a chop-fest by Steiner.

Quarter Hour 9

Randy Orton jumped into the ring to interfere, and Flair slapped Steiner across the face. Steiner tossed some weak punches at Batista. Suddenly Triple H pounced on Steiner with more punches. The bell rang to stop the match. The bell was ignored and everyone teamed up to brutalize Steiner. It was a beat down, pure and simple, and Steiner got busted open. It finally ended in a Pedigree on the bloody and beaten Steiner. Orton, Flair, Triple H, and Batista joined hands in solidarity. A new faction?

The Wrap Up

This was an odd Raw. It had some solid spots, but also some deadly dull ones. However, it was also obvious that some thought had gone into the storylines (even if the acting wasn't up to par). Bischoff's surprise was somewhat disappointing. Instead of instant gratification, viewers will have to buy "Raw Magazine" and hope the Rattlesnake shows up at No Way Out.

WWE had another surprise today, too. A sad one. A small headline at www.wwe.com announced that Raven and Justin Credible had been released from their contracts. It was the usual company line, wishing them luck in their future endeavors. In other words, here's your hat and what's your hurry. I'll have more on Raven, the enigmatic misfit, in Saturday's Last Call.

Comments? You can reach me at mmahling@pwtorch.com. See you in The Lounge on Saturday.

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