TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S ECW TV REPORT 5/12: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of WWE's Sci-Fi show - Return of the Peep Show
May 12, 2009 - 10:02:51 PM
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By James Caldwell, Torch assistant editor
WWE - ECW on Sci-Fi TV Report
May 12, 2009 - Year 3, Week 49 (Week 153 overall)
Taped in Dayton, Ohio
After the WWE TV show intro aired, they cut to a shot of GM Tiffany's office. Jack Swagger was standing there looking upset. They cut to a shot of Christian happy to hear about the return of the Peep Show. Tiffany said she likes the idea of them promoting their ECW Title match in the Peep Show, but she won't tolerate any physical contact that could jeopardize their title match at Judgment Day. She said they could steal the show. Christian smiled.
Tiffany concluded that if there's any physical contact during their segment, there will be consequences. No word on what those consequences might be. Christian said he understands. Swagger continued to frown. "Jack, I'm serious," Tiffany said. Swagger shot back: "I heard you the first time." Nice open, although this empty threat of consequences doesn't hold much water on WWE TV.
In-ring: Mark Henry came to the ring with Tony Atlas to start the show. Announcers Josh Mathews and Matt Striker described Henry in Vader-like terms and being larger-than-life. Tommy Dreamer then came out as his opposition tonight. Before the bell sounded, Striker said Dreamer suffered a bunch of injures on the weekend house shows, including a pulled groin and neck injury. He said Dreamer refused to leave the tour, though. They do a better job of selling Dreamer as an everyman than John Cena since Dreamer has never been booked to be superman or impervious to pain like Cena.
1 -- TOMMY DREAMER vs. MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas)
Henry went right for the back to begin his attack. He squeezed the life out of Dreamer before putting a boot on his throat to squeeze the air out of his lungs. Announcers were snoozing on the job as Henry continued his methodical attack. Dreamer blocked a corner splash with a boot, then went to the second rope, but Henry caught him in mid-air for a bear hug that he turned into a brick wall splash. Henry measured Dreamer for an elbow, but Dreamer moved and dropkicked Henry in the knees to take him off his feet for the first time. Dreamer then landed a running dropkick in the corner and nailed a DDT. He made the cover, but Henry put his big ol' foot on the bottom rope to block a three count. Dreamer tried to follow with a small package, but Henry blocked by sitting down on Dreamer's forearm. He followed with the World's Strongest Slam for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Henry in 5:00. Dreamer had his standard "moment of brilliance" to look half-way credible against Henry, but we knew how this was going down with Henry taking the victory and Dreamer's quest to the ECW Title continuing to be derailed. Announcers took a nap on this one. (*)
Backstage: Gregory Helms brought in Tyson Kidd and Natalya for a chat. Natalya is banned from ringside tonight for Kidd vs. Finlay tonight. Natalya said Kidd can beat anyone with or without her help. Kidd said he'll be ready for anything Finlay tries to throw out there. Natalya wished him luck, then Helms suggested he and she watch the match together. Natalya shot him a "not a chance on your best day" look before walking off. "Whasssupwidat?" Helms questioned her.
Superstars promo: Big Show must show that he's ready to be judged by facing...Hornswoggle in a match ordered by Vickie Guerrero in an Exhibition match.
In-ring: Finlay came out first to face Kidd. Ya know, it must seem like false advertising to the majority of the live audience - kids and families who don't know much about the ongoing storylines - when Hornswoggle's music hits and there's no sign of Hornswoggle anymore. Tyson Kidd then slowly made his way to the ring to face Finlay.
2 -- TYSON KIDD vs. FINLAY
Finlay started on the offensive, then Kidd applied an ankle hold. Finlay suddenly came back with a crazy-looking double ankle lock hold where he snapped Kidd's back off the ground across his knee. I don't know what that was, but it was awesome. Kidd tried to recover on the outside, then Finlay gave chase and Kidd smashed him into the apron. Finlay then pulled the trick by catching Kidd inside the ring apron. He took too long rolling Kidd back into the ring, so Kidd dropkicked him through the ropes. Nice back-and-forth action with them going to break with Kidd in control.
Back from break, Kidd was still on control with a mat hold looking for a submission. "Ask him, ref, ask him!" Put it on a t-shirt already. Kidd worked the left shoulder. "Ask him. Ask him, ref. I'll break his arm!" So great watching and listening to Kidd work a mat hold. Kidd then took his shoulder hold into a twisting drop across his knee. Nice. Finlay was apparently fired up from being one-upped in the innovative hold department, so he fired off a round of clotheslines. He hit the Rolling Hills drop, but Kidd kicked out. Finlay then wanted the Celtic Cross, but D.H. Smith jumped into the ring and smashed Finlay for a DQ.
Post-match: Here we go. They're calling him David Hart Smith, by the way. Smith looking huge. Not in a steroid-huge looking way, though. A more "physically-imposing heel" kind of a way. He beat up on Finlay and beat him up some more before Finlay tried to make a comeback. Kidd then snuck in behind with the shillelagh and smashed Finlay in the knees. Smith then chucked Finlay to the floor and sent him head-first into the announce table. Back in the ring, Smith and Kidd set up the Hart Attack old school combo from Bret and Neidhart. Natalya then showed up and raised the arms of Kidd and Hart to officially announce the new Hart Foundation. Crowd booed them heavily. Good to see them generating heat for this. Hart Foundation v.2 then walked out of the ring in celebration.
WINNER: Finlay via DQ in 10:00. Solid TV match leading to the excellent post-match angle to give ECW a new stable and a new program they can really work with to create compelling TV. Smith looked very good, but we'll see how he looks in the ring in future weeks. (**)
Announcers: Striker and Mathews added some more color to the ECW debut of Smith and the new Hart clan forming while recapping the end of the previous match. They're not using the "Hart Foundation" name referring to the new group. Announcers then sent it to the Raw Rebound for a look back at last night's Raw when Batista smashed Orton. Back to the announcers, who plugged the Judgment Day PPV card on Sunday.
Backstage: Zack Ryder was talking to Tiffany about trying to get out of work. He wants to hit the gym to work on his body. Tiffany let him go because she's apparently a push-over. And this is the same GM threatening to enforce rules on Swagger and Christian. Ha. Paul Burchill then barged in with Katie Lea. Ryder told them whoo-whoo and they know it. Burchill told Tiffany he wasn't on the show last week and he's not booked this week. Tiffany said not everyone can be on every week's show. Burchill said he'll do something about that. Katie Lea, channeling the witch from Snow White, said Burchill tends to get himself in trouble when he's not kept busy. She walked off with a sneer.
Video package: More Kozlov training video packages. Under the most grueling conditions, Russian fighters are shaped from a young age. No-nonsense. Punch that punching bag. Punching bag took a belly-to-belly suplex. I hope punching bag at least got paid for taking bumps like that. Kozlov stared down the punching bag and said he wants competition.
In-ring: Kozlov stomped out to the ring ready to destroy a filthy American. Already in the ring for consumption was Chad Collyer. Hey, nice to see Chad on WWE TV.
3 -- KOZLOV vs. CHAD COLLYER
Plenty of "Cold War" references to Kozlov from Striker to bring us back to 1982. Striker said Russian PM Vladimir Putin is a huge Kozlov fan. He then threw in a line about U.S. president Obama, calling him "the Communist in the White House." He followed by muttering something under his breath about having to say it. Kozlov easily finished off the punching bag with the Iron Curtain slam for the win.
Post-match: Mathews entered the ring to interview Kozlov. What sets you apart from the other WWE stars? Kozlov said he's trained by Russian Sambo fighters, which makes him superior with great comb-in-a-tion skills and disc-i-pline. He said Russians always dominate inter-nat-ional comp-e-tion. He will eliminate everyone in E-C-double-u. And that darn punching bag better not show up next week.
WINNER: Kozlov in 1:00. Just a squash to establish Kozlov as a threat to the American way of life and all that patriotic business from 1982. Holding pattern for Kozlov before he's pushed into the ECW Title picture. (n/a)
Of note: Where's Evan Bourne this week? I think he would be above that "Paul Burchill" clause of not being on every week.
In-ring: ECW champion Christian came to the ring for the return of the Peep Show. Lights remained dimmed as Christian introduced his talking segment and proclaimed himself the champion of the show before bringing out Jack Swagger. Swagger not in a suit this week as he slowly made his way out to the ring not looking too pleased with Christian. Swagger wanted to re-live history by going back to Backlash when Christian cheated to win the ECW Title. He even had a clip, just like on every other lame talk show. Cut to a shot from Backlash when Christian exposed the steel turnbuckle causing Swagger to be knocked silly before taking the Killswitch for Christian to win the title.
Back to the Peep Show set where Swagger pointed to the evidence and asked Christian to explain himself. Christian said two things to Swagger: you just showed the world how I beat you for the ECW Title and you conveniently left out the part where you exposed the opposite turnbuckle. He told "kid" that he was out-smarted. Christian said he his own video package. Cue up a "make fun of Swagger" video set to some circus music. "What does that prove?!" Swagger demanded to know. Christian said it doesn't prove anything, but he likes making him look stupid.
Swagger told Chuckles the Clown that he owns him in the ring and he bets Christian won't be smiling when he takes back the ECW Title. He asked Christian who he'll be after he loses the ECW Title. Swagger said it'll be devastating when Christian is sitting on the couch wishing he never came back. He'll just be a regular dude with no cameras, no peeps, and no ECW Title. Swagger cut off Christian's attempted witty comeback and stood behind Tiffany's stip.
[Q5 -- over-run]
Christian said the good thing about hosting his own show is he gets to say when the show is over. Christian then popped Swagger between the eyes with his mic and Swagger rolled to the floor. He held his head in pain as Christian put down the ECW Title belt in center ring to tell Swagger to come cross the line. Sorry, not Thursday nights. Swagger had enough and just washed his hands of Christian before leaving in a huff. Christian held up the title belt one more time to set up the ECW Title match on Sunday.
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