By B.J. Bethel, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Smackdown review
April 10, 2003
Taped Tuesday in Chicago, Ill.

1st Quarter Hour

(1) Brock Lesnar pinned Matt Hardy (w/ Shannon Moore). (Clean on Lesnar's part; Moore interfered for Hardy through out) Moore is carrying a copy of Hardy's new book. Hardy laid the belt down to draw a line in front of Lesnar, but Lesnar kicked it out of a way. Lesnar then stuck his title in his face and drew a line of his own. Hardy tried picking it up and got decked. Lesnar beat on Hardy, but got jumped by Moore. Moore was chased off, but that allowed Hardy to hit a quick cheap shot and get a two count as the bell rang. Hardy attacked Lesnar in the corner, but got flipped over the turnbuckle. Hardy then dropped Lesnar across the top rope by the back of his neck. Hey, some psychology. Hardy kept working on Lesnar's neck, giving him a guillotine on the middle rope and choking him with his legs until Lesnar stood out of it with an electric chair suplex. Lesnar attacked Hardy, although favoring his neck, with a pair of over-head belly-to-belly suplex. Lesnar had Hardy set up over his shoulder, but Moore grabbed his legs to save him. Hardy went for a Twist of Fate, but Lesnar countered by picking Hardy up in a fireman's carry for the F-5. That scored the pinfall. Good match that should have went a lot longer and given more of a push. Hardy is definitely turning into the Smackdown version of Jericho circa WCW '98.

2nd Quarter Hour

A quick re-cap of an old Piper's Pit segment, featuring Piper's infamous "When you think you got all the answers, I change the rules" quote which was voted as one of the greatest "yearbook quotes" ever by the Sports Guy at Wrestlemania. WWE needs a Roddy Piper more then ever, the problem is the Piper they need is from 1984.

Recap of Hogan and Vince's not-so-touching moment from Smackdown last week.

Sable came out to grace us with her presence. I don't think she looks much different now then she did in '98, despite all the hammering she's getting on the net. Despite that, there is absolutely no future value in having her on the show and I seriously doubt that her mere participation is bringing viewers in by the millions.

(2)Torrie Wilson and Brian Kendrick defeated Nidia and Jamie Noble. (Clean) Noble attacked Kendrick from behind, but Kendrick rolled Noble up for a two count. Nidia broke that up. Noble ended up tossing Kendrick into the turnbuckle and laid some boots to him afterwards. Nidia then did the heel thing and choked Kendrick on the bottom rope. Drop toe hold/drop kick to the head by Nidia and Noble. Nidia was in the ring with Kendrick and put some boots to him for a second until Noble tagged back in and nailed a nice back suplex for a two count. Noble kept putting over the fact he was the stronger of the two by throwing him around like a rag doll through out the match. Noble with a chin lock on the mat as the crowd chanted for Torrie. Noble locked on a nice inverted chin lock across his knee on Kendrick, but Kendrick countered with a jaw breaker. Kendrick came back with an enzuigiri and went for his finisher, but Noble countered again as another Torrie chant broke out. Nidia got rocket launched at Kendrick, but Kendrick moved and hot tagged Torrie. Torrie gave Nidia a slingshot into the corner and some chops on the ropes. That has to be hard on the silicone. Nice Russian leg sweep by Torrie, followed by Noble grabbing her on the apron and getting slapped. Nidia fired back with an eye rake, but Nidia took her down with a forearm. Torrie almost ate a Tiger Driver from Noble, but Kendrick missile drop kicked Noble off her. Kendrick went up top to attack Noble on the outside, but Nidia pushed him off the ropes and onto the guardrail. Nidia went for a cross body as Noble held her, but Torrie ducked and Noble got knocked out of the ring. This allowed Torrie to hit a spinning DDT for the pin on Nidia as Sable stood at ringside and applauded.

3rd Quarter Hour

Benoit ran into Lesnar backstage and said he was looking forward to taking on such a great warrior at Backlash. Rhyno showed up and offered the same sentiments. Brock told them to go out and kill each other and the winner would have hell to pay at Backlash.

(3) Chris Benoit pinned Rhyno. (Clean)
Both men tried to overpower each other at first, then resorted to going to the mat. Rhyno actually came on top there at first. Shoulder block and a suplex get Rhyno a two count. Benoit was rammed into the turnbuckle, but Benoit backed him out with some chops and a clothesline. Benoit gave Rhyno some more chops in his corner, the last one leaving Rhyno laying. Hey folks, a big guy is selling! Someone get 'Taker to talk to him quick! Snap mare by Rhyno and a boot went for a two count. Afterwards, Rhyno locked on a rear chin lock. Rhyno pummeled his way out and caught Rhyno off the ropes with a knee. Benoit covered for another two. Benoit whipped Rhyno into the corner, but missed on the follow up when he went for a drop kick. Rhyno got a two count out of that and locked on a body scissors and a wrist lock. Benoit had the move partially blocked, and rolled over on top of Rhyno to get a two count. Rhyno quickly broke out of the hold and went back to work on Benoit. The crowd isn't into this at all. I guess they are waiting for the fogey show to start. Rhyno set up for the spear with a body slam, but Benoit dodged him and followed with some chops. Tazz keeps putting over the fact that the two are tag partners and know each others training habits. Spinebuster (yes, an actual spinebuster like Arn did, not the shitty version all the tub-a-lards do) on Benoit got Rhyno another two count. Irish whip and running front elbow set Rhyno up for the head butt. Benoit nailed him more then 3/4s of the way across the ring. Benoit went for the CCF, but Rhyno was too close to the ropes. The crowd looks like they are trying to pay attention. I wonder why they don't crank up the fake heat like they do for Steph? Benoit used a quick reversal to get Rhyno in a backslide and to pin Rhyno for the three count. The two hugged afterwards. Really good match.

4th Quarter hour

Sable walked in on Torrie in the shower and wanted to tell her how much she appreciated her match tonight. Sable then stole her towel and told her to come and get it. Torrie does and doesn't look thrilled about it. There hasn't been this much damage done to the sexual harassment movement since Clinton was elected.

They showed the crew setting the ring up for Piper's Pit. Vince walked to the ring as they went to a break.

Replay of the infamous Jimmy Snuka/Piper's Pit episode. I loved listening to Piper try selling this as a shoot on Chairshots.

5th Quarter Hour

Vince cut a promo on Hogan and talked about last week. There are two chairs in the ring. Hopefully, this Piper isn't a hacked version from the Netherlands. Vince said called Hogan another one of his creations and then said he decided to pull another one off the shelf. So, we now find out the REAL reasons why Vince is bringing back the '80's. The Bagpipes hit and Pipe came out in his kilt, Hot Rod t-shirt and leatherjacket. Piper can't wipe the smile off his face. Vince announced himself as Hot Rod's special guest. Piper told Vince he had short fingers when he offered a handshake and asked him if he knew what women thought off that. Piper went off and said that nobody made him but himself, and the same could be said for the Pit. The fans are into Piper. McMahon then said he may have created Piper's pit, but Piper's working on a gut. He said Mae Young looked like that at 9 months. Vince said he looked horrible. Vince said something about Piper kissing his ass instead of kicking it. He said something about Piper joining the KMAC. Piper said the first thing Vince did was become a rock and roll promoter and that went back. Piper then brought up the WBF, and that went to hell. Piper then brought up the football league. Vince kind of smiled while this is going on. Piper then told Vince that the only job he has been able to hold is the one his Daddy gave him, and then called him junior. So much for Vince's smile. Piper said he might give him some credit, he just can't figure out what it might be. Vince said they did have one thing in common and that was their dislike for Hogan. Piper then said he made Hulk and saved him from Piper by cutting his interviews. Vince had his arm on him and was smiling. Piper didn't like it and told him to take it off and he hated him, too. Vince called Piper a son of a (insert UPN bleep). Piper took off his jacket and said it takes a son of a bitch to know a son of a bitch. Vince offered his hand to shake it, from one son of a bitch to another. They agreed they hated Hogan and Vince walked off after they shook. As Vince tried to walk off,Piper then said Vince did one thing that Piper never did and that was get beat by Hogan 1-2-3. I guess that isn't including matches involving interference from Randy Savage. Rikishi's music hit and he walked down holding a coconut. He asked Piper if that looked familiar and said he remember what he did to Snuka. Piper said that it wasn't between them two, but Rikishi didn't buy it. Sean O'Haire ran down and hit Rikishi with the director's chairs that were in the ring. O'Haire asked Rikishi if he wanted to be just like Snuka, and dropped Rikishi with the coconut as O'Haire held him. Piper then dropped and did the "love sign" thing on his knees to mock Snuka. I guess that means Snuka is back next week. All we need is Orton and Mr. T.

Hey, that Ready to Rumble wasn't so bad. No Triple Push, no corpse humping, no HLA, no KMAC....

The same promo for Dupree and Grenier from Raw aired. I love it. They still aren't the Amazing French-Canadians, though. I want Nowinski laying in the street next week, too. And Tony Marshall passed this one along, Vince should sign the big dude with the sledge hammer that was taking the Saddam statue apart in Baghdad yesterday.

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin asked for a moment of silent prayer for Kurt Angle since he's getting ready for neck surgery. The crowd booed. Shelton Benjamin claimed it was behavior like this that led to the Cubs never winning the World Series.

6th Quarter Hour

(4) Rey Misterio/Tajiri defeated Team Angle. (Clean) This match is non-title. Tajiri and Haas started things off. Arm drag by Haas took Tajiri down, but Tajiri fired back with a punch after dropping to the mat. Combination drop kick/Tarantula double team after Tajiri tagged to Misterio. Misterio got caught on the apron and was dropped, but Rey recovered in time when Benjamin came in to tilt-a-whirl himself around Benjamin to avoid an attack. Nice. Baseball slide between Haas's legs, and Haas ended up eating apron, but Benjamin caught Misterio with a super kick to get a two count. Benjamin followed that up with some big knees. Combination press slam/gut-buster by Haas and Benjamin got them a two count. Haas came in and locked on an abdominal stretch, but Rey flipped himself around to a body press to get a two count. Haas kept up on Rey, who then fought Haas off in the corner, but Haas managed to get Rey in an electric chair, but Rey eventually countered that into a head scissors. Tajiri made the tag and landed a 'rana on Haas. Handspring clothesline by Tajiri got a two count. Benjamin tagged back in and choked him across the ropes. Rey came in with a springboard drop kick, but Haas took his head off with a clothesline. Tajiri got tossed and Misterio and Haas went to work. Benjamin got knocked off the top to the outside and Rey hit Haas with the 619 and a springboard leg drop to get the three count. Good match.

Undertaker cut a promo on John Cena. He said he had more shower time then Cena had ring time. I wouldn't exactly be bragging about that.

7th Quarter Hour

(5) Nathan Jones pinned Bill DeMott. (Clean)
Morrus went right to a chicken wing, but DeMott got cocky and let go, so Jones punched him in the face. Waist lock and take down by Demott into a front face lock. Jones got back to his feet and walked him to the corner. DeMott got a clean break though, and gave him some forearms, but DeMott tossed him to the floor. DeMott with another punch as Jones tried to bring him back in. Big boot and that allowed Jones to pin DeMott. Very, very quick. So much for Bill's push.

The FBI is complaining to security about someone stealing stuff out of their lockers.

Security is backstage questioning Jones about the FBI's stolen stuff. 'Taker is upset about the situation. Jones immediately ripped off a cell door and beat up twenty five guys in riot gear.

Cena is backstage walking around. He's wearing an old Expos jersey.

8th Quarter Hour

(6) John Cena pinned The Undertaker. (What, are you kidding???) Cena rapped his way to the ring, as usual. "So you're a dead man? I'm a necrophilliac." Hey Johnny, wrong show. Go to Mondays for that shit, buddy.Maybe he's just trying to get over with Triple H. Lock up to start, but 'Taker picked Cena up and rammed him into the corner. More tedious offense from the Dead Man, consisting entirely of blows to the head of Cena. Cena tried fighting back, but got choked against the ropes as 'Taker asked him if he "still wanted to talk to me." More offense and a chokeslam by 'Taker, but Cena managed to get a leg on the ropes.

Back from the break, and Undertaker kept up his offense on Cena by dropping a couple elbows across his forehead on the apron. 'Taker then dropped a leg on him. Clothesline on the corner, followed by some more blows. 'Taker backed the rope off, which allowed Cena to give 'Taker a blow with the chain. I'm sorry, but the "Cena gets whooped until he gets the chain, which is followed by interference or more cheating for a cheap victory" match is already getting old. The guy can actually wrestle, let him show it. Cena went to work on 'Taker's arm. He dragged him over to the guard rail and slammed his wrist against it, then ran into the ring and asked the ref to count him out. 'Taker tried to get back in at 4, but Cena hit him with a baseball slide. Cena then stood on his wrist and stomped on it on to of the ring steps. Elbow by 'Taker finally stopped Cena's rally. Apparently 'Taker is getting elbow surgery tomorrow, which is why Cena is working on the arm so much. For the love of God, can 'Taker do a job with any grace what-so-ever? Single-arm DDT by 'Taker as 'Taker tried setting up the rope walk. Cena then went to an arm bar. 'Taker took him off his feet, but Cena gave 'Taker's arm a blow from the mat. At least we are seeing some psychology. Tilt-a-whirl into snake eyes by 'Taker, followed by a big boot. 'Taker tried to clothesline Cena in the corner, but Cena pulled the ref in the way. Standing spinebuster by Cena. 'Taker recovered and got Cena with the Last Ride, but the ref is still out of the ring from the spot in the corner. The FBI then ran down and attacked 'Taker. Palumbo nailed him with a chair shot. Palumbo is limping around as the group stomps on him. The ref finally managed to get back in the ring, and Cena crawled over to get the pinfall.

(Notes: This week's show had its ups and downs. Piper still has the lip, too bad he doesn't have a hip. The wrestling is still pretty good at times, but the storylines are definitely falling apart as Smackdown turns into Vince-a-mania revisited..Hardy vs. Brock could have easily been built into a PPV match. Hardy has the heat on him, but Vince is marching down the highway to hell with the WCW '99 Nash Playbook step by step. It's amazing how the post-Austin/Rock generation keeps getting hosed by the guys in charge. Still, the match was good despite being way too short... Too bad Sable and Torrie both didn't pose for Penthouse... Rhyno and Benoit both looked really good. I doubt if there are any plans to push either guy right now, but they should... Tajiri and Rey shined in tag action against Team Angle.  Why they pulled Funaki for Rey, I have no idea. I actually thought last week's match was better... Nathan Jones's match is what it should have been. Very, very short... Smackdown's ratings have fallen about two tenths of a point over the past month or so on average. This week should really be interesting, since there is no PPV hype and the show has to stand on its own, that will be a good indication of how fans are viewing the current direction. Since last week's rating wasn't exactly a blockbuster, I'm not looking for this one to break any records either.)

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