TV REPORTS 5/24 WWE Raw Review: Mallory's virtual time "alt. perspective" coverage
May 24, 2004 - 10:04:00 PM
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By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
WWE Raw "Virtual Time" Alt. Perspective Coverage
May 24, 2004
Live from Rockford, Illinois
Aired on Spike TV
Report by Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
Ongoing Alternative Perspective Review of the Show
Raw is live tonight from the MetroCentre in Rockford, Illinois. *Waving hello to my pal, Eric, in the seventh row.*
Matches announced for tonight are:
- Ric Flair will face Edge in one-on-one competition.
- Last week's mark-out moment was the Rock and Eugene getting the better of Jonathan Coachman and Garrison Cade. Tonight Eugene and William Regal will team up to take on the team of Coach and Cade.
Quarter Hour 1
The show started with a recap of last week's 20-man Battle Royal. When it got down to the last two--Triple H and Kane--Shawn Michaels interfered and gave Kane the advantage.
In the locker room, Triple H was taping his wrist and complaining that he coulda been a contender. He demanded that Eric Bischoff reinstate Shawn Michaels. That was okay with Bischoff. One catch, though--Shawn Michaels wanted a match with Triple H, but they would have to wait until Bad Blood. That was okay with Triple H. But the second Michaels set foot in the building, he promised to finish him off.
Triple H turned his wrath on the other members of Evolution for not watching his back last week.
When Orton told Triple H to kick Michaels's ass if he showed up while they were gone, Triple H suggested that Batista stay with him.
Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to the show.
(1) Edge pinned Ric Flair (w/Randy Orton). Good start, with Flair taking some serious bumps on the outside. Back in the ring, the Nature Boy was in control of the match. The two traded chops, then punches. Big back body drop by Edge. When Flair came off the top rope, Edge caught him and quickly went for the pin. Flair got a shoulder up. Orton began to argue with the ref, and Shelton Benjamin came out and decked Orton. A spear and a cover, and Edge was victorious.
In the parking lot, Triple H and Batista pulled up a couple of chairs and awaited the arrival of Shawn Michaels.
Quarter Hour 2
Earlier today, the Chairman of WWE, Mister McMahon, had announced the first-ever $250,000 Diva Search. The winner will be crowned the Raw Diva and win the big bucks and a one-year contract. The audience will vote off one contestant off the island each week. Sort of like Miss America meets Survivor and the Apprentice.
Outside Lita's dressing room, Todd Grisham recounted how Lita had finally given Kane an answer to his mysterious question.
Matt Hardy walked up and started knocking on Lita's dressing room door. Grisham couldn't get a word in and Matt finally shoved him out of the way. Matt wanted to know where Lita had been all week. She said she'd been thinking about him...and that she loved him. Cue the big kiss. She said she wanted to show him how much she loved him and went into her dressing room to pretty up. Of course, Kane was lurking in the dressing room and began to terrorize her.
Lita fled in disgust and she and Matt left the building. She neglected to mention her encounter with Kane.
(Commercial break) (The inspirational Eddie Guerrero special will air Wednesday night on UPN at 9:00 ET.)
Triple H and Batista thought they spotted Michaels, but pulled Stevie Richards out of his car instead. They beat him up anyway.
J.R. and the King reminded viewers that Mae and Moolah would be guests on the Jay Leno Show tonight. They hoped there wouldn't be a "wardrobe malfunction."
(2) La Resistance (Rob Conway & Sylvain Grenier) over Hurricane & Rosey. La Resistance was in fine form tonight. Hurricane got sent to the outside and sold it like he was shot out of a cannon. Rosey tagged in and looked great--good power moves. Crossbody by Hurricane on Grenier, but it was the French guys who took the win.
Triple H finally found Michaels in the parking lot, but it was Shawn who slammed Triple H onto the hood of a car.
It was time for the Highlight Reel. Chris Jericho was already in the ring and the crowd cheered him enthusiastically. He was proud he'd injured Christian, who was recuperating "downtown in Chinatown."
Tonight's guest was Randy Orton. Jericho played to Orton's ego by mentioning all the legends Orton had disrespected. Shelton Benjamin had challenged Orton to a match, but Orton still refused to put the Intercontinental Title on the line. Jericho asked why Orton was scared of Benjamin. Orton said he was unworthy. Jericho interjected his thoughts and Orton told him not to cut him off. Jericho called him an "ass clown."
Jericho reminded Orton that Benjamin had beaten Triple H twice. Orton told Jericho he had a big mouth, which sounded like a schoolyard taunt. He insisted he was a legend killer and said he wouldn't mind killing Jericho the Legend.
Orton got flattened in short order, but Batista was there to lend a hand. Benjamin hit the ring to even the odds.
Quarter Hour 4
"Enough," shouted Bischoff from the top of the ramp. He said he refused to lose control of his show. He made a match that would start here, right now (or after the commercial, actually).
(3) Chris Jericho & Shelton Benjamin over Randy Orton & Batista. The match had started during the break. The King called Jericho a rotten host for fighting with his guest. Batista tried to intimidate Benjamin, but it wasn't working. Loud "Randy sucks" chant. Jericho tagged in and knocked Orton off the apron, then went after Batista. Springboard drop kick by Jericho took down Batista, then he attempted the Walls of Jericho on Orton. Batista interfered. Flying leap over the top rope by Jericho took down both Batista and Orton.
Back in the ring, Jericho was being stomped in the corner by Batista.
Trish Stratus had joined J.R. and the King at the announce position. She'd distracted Jericho during the break.
Orton was working over Jericho's shoulder.
J.R. inquired about Christian, and Trish told him it was none of his business.
Lawler asked Trish why she was out there, and she offered a cryptic, "You'll see."
Quarter Hour 5
While the ref was dealing with some infraction by Benjamin, Orton took control. The crowd still thought Randy sucked.
Arm bar take-down by Orton on Jericho, then Batista took over and appeared to be trying to rip Jericho's arm off. Standing drop kick by Jericho, and Batista decided to get out of Dodge.
Benjamin had the advantage over big Batista and even got a near fall. Spinebuster and cover by Batista, but Jericho broke up the count. More pinning attempts by each side. Jericho dumped Batista over the ropes. Power slam by Benjamin on Orton and he pinned him for the 1-2-3.
Trish had nothing to say as Jericho made his way up the ramp. Then she tried to get Jericho's attention. He ignored her, but it was a set-up. Tyson Tomko attacked Jericho from behind, then chased J.R. and the King away from the announce desk. He cleared it off, then sent Jericho crashing through it. Trish stood over the broken Jericho and trash talked him.
During the break, EMTs and medical personnel had stretchered Jericho out. J.R. and the King had nowhere to sit, as their desk had been demolished.
Kane's pyro exploded and he stalked to the ring. He had a message for Chris Benoit. He said he envied the champ because he lived a life of normalcy. Benoit was living his dreams. Kane said he lived in darkness and shadows. That was all going to change at Bad Blood, he said.
Quarter Hour 6
In Bischoff's office, Shawn Michaels wanted assurance that he would have his match the way he wanted it, with no strings attached. Triple H suddenly appeared and attacked Michaels. Referees swarmed in and tried to pull them apart. Bischoff was fit to be tied.
Victoria came out to a new entrance, shook her booty a bit, and made the King very happy. (But then that doesn't take much.) Victoria's new music is going to take some getting used to, and it looks more like an exercise video.
(4) Victoria over Molly Holly (w/Little Orphan Annie wig and Gail Kim). Good back and forth action. Molly tried her best to rip Victoria's head off, but it didn't work. Victoria went for the Widow's Peak and won the match. Gail Kim got in the ring to put her two cents in, and she got a Widow's Peak, too. Good match.
Smackdown Rebound: Eddie collapsed during the tag match and Bradshaw went for the cheap pin and covered him.
Quarter Hour 7
Eric Bischoff had taken enough of Triple H and HBK. He said they had no respect for him or for authority. But they would respect mass force, said Bischoff, and he told Johnny Nitro to assemble the superstars. If the ship was going to go down, Bischoff said he had no intention of going down with it.
Bischoff was addressing the troops. He told them they could not let Triple H and Shawn Michaels tear down what they'd all built as a team. He wanted them to keep those two away from each other and help the General Manager regain control. And if they didn't help him, he'd fire each and every one of them. That got their attention.
J.R. said it had been a wild west kind of night.
Last week the Coach had tried to break Eugene's spirit, but the Rock had given Coach a reality check.
Todd Grisham was interviewing a playful Eugene and William Regal. Eugene did a good Rock impression. A very happy Regal said it had been an exciting week for them.
Johnny Nitro came out and told Regal he had not been cleared to wrestle by Bischoff. Nitro gave Eugene three minutes to find another tag partner. A dejected Regal told Eugene he'd just have to be a man tonight.
Quarter Hour 8
(5) Eugene & Chris Benoit over Jonathan Coachman & Garrison Cade. Eugene had new music tonight, too. The WWE house composer has been busy.
Coach and Cade mocked Eugene and Benoit wasn't going to stand for it. Eugene held his own nicely, and pulled a Three Stooges-style fast one on Cade. Benoit tagged in and chopped Cade. Coach tagged in and smirked at Benoit--before the Wolverine made mincemeat out of him. Airplane spin by Eugene on Cade. Three suplexes on Coach, then Benoit went up top. Diving head butt onto Coachman, then Benoit made the tag to Eugene, who climbed to the top turnbuckle and landed on Coach with a diving head butt, too. Eugene pinned Coach for the win.
In the dressing room, Triple H and Shawn Michaels were at it again.
It was time to play the Game. Triple H stomped out to the ring. "It ends right here, right now. Shawn Michaels, I'm done with you. Get your ass to the ring right now."
"Sexy Boy" hit and Michaels wasted no time getting to the ring.
It turned into a slug fest. Evolution tried to have Triple H's back, but Michaels dispatched them all. The locker room emptied and they tried their best to separate Triple H and Michaels.
Bischoff called out the reinforcements, and it gave Albert something to do.
"Enough," shouted Bischoff. "At Bad Blood, it will be Triple H and Shawn Michaels--Hell in a Cell."
The Pier Six brawl (more like a Pier Twelve by this time) continued as the show went off the air.
Thoughts: This was an enjoyable show. It didn't get bogged down by any one angle and the pace was steady. I also liked the feel of team work and hope there will be more of that in the future. But what about Kane and Lita? Are they never going to tell us what that darn question was?
I love feedback and you can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org. See you in The Lounge on Saturday.
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